Howdy! This is a post for members only. The good news is that becoming a member is easy and (mostly) painless. For less than $5 a month you could become a member and read this post. Just click here.
Howdy! This is a post for members only. The good news is that becoming a member is easy and (mostly) painless. For less than $5 a month you could become a member and read this post. Just click here.
Follow us on:
Well, that was actually worth the watch. Got through the rest of it. After a nap.
HM, No clue. I’ve seen signs in Washington state prohibiting trucks pulling trailers full of hydrocarbons through tunnels, so presumably no fuel tankers. The signs are HC with the no slash through them. Hydroponic Marijuana? That stuff is difficult to deliver through pipelines.
Twenty minutes? Amateur hour.
It was actually 40 minutes but the other half was sustained profanities. Editorial decision to leave that on the cutting room floor
Come on Griffin, everyone knows the extended Director’s Cut is the only version worth watching!
I like to think of this as a Watchmen situation. “Who director’s cuts the director’s cut?
Enjoyed the taxi-driving rant. A paying passenger would probably tuck ‘n roll onto the highway.
Why are your wipers wiping on a very sunny day at 6:00 in.
I could probably ride with you for a couple of days before asking if I can get a word in edgewise? Otherwise, your narrative is pretty interesting. But if it’s just a one-way conversation, it gets annoying. My last GF was an expert at that and cutting me off when I tried to say something or ask for clarification. Sometimes you want to exhale with intention. Wanting to be heard.
I should have watched the whole video before posting. I did cocaine once and had no psychological effects, but I did rub what was left on the table on my gums, and yes it numbs them. So, I guess there’s a difference between how nerves and neuro receptors process it. Depending on genetics, I suppose. I was happy not to have fun with it and gotten into that habit. I already have enough.
Still making my way through this video. Pine borer beetles are why those trees are dead and then they become great fuel for brutal forest fires.
The wipers keep the bats away from the windshield, it appears to be working.
I try to explain to my wife that wipers are not just for moisture, but she just won’t listen.
I don’t live around bat country, so I wouldn’t know about that. Maybe your wife didn’t grow up in bat country either. I have been in Austin, TX and seen a lot of bats, but didn’t drive through the flock or whatever they call a bunch of them.
Bat Country (Not the band)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=updoM-EuHrQ
The book was better than the movie. But I really did enjoy reading HST’s stuff. And the line “as your attorney I advise you not to…” is one that I have used many times to advise friends not to do something dumb. Not everybody I said to that too had read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” So that line sometimes went over their heads.
I’m not an attorney, but I like to think I have decent common sense.
My kid IS an attorney, and thankfully he seems to have decent common sense as well. He doesn’t do family law or personal injury stuff, so he has managed to avoid, what to me, would be the worst specialties. Perhaps more lucrative… but he sleeps well at night.
The content I crave, I think?
I recoiled in horror, 2 minutes in, but not because of you Jason. It was the remembered stench of the “Be Kind” tree air freshener that I noticed was hanging off the mirror. You see, my son’s best friend put one of those in my truck when they borrowed it for the weekend. It smelled like a mix of teenage ennui, flowers, spoiled fruit and cleaning chemicals. Total horror show on hot days.
For a while I had to share a car with my brother, and he managed to lose half a sandwich under one of the seats. Instead of trying to find it and clean it up, he just bought more and more air ‘fresheners’. In the end I had to clean up his mess for him.
Still, not as bad as the time that car started running really badly, until I found that one of my brother’s mates had hidden a signed photo of Margaret Thatcher in the boot. Once I burnt that bad voodoo the car was fine again.
Oh, I get that for sure. My son spilled raw milk he was bringing to school for a cheese project. Some food smells can’t be covered up by air fresheners!
Opposite of Margaret Thatcher, I had a original Yoda figure on the dash of my Jeep XJ and it ran great. Someone stole it and then the XJ had issues since Yoda’s force was no longer keeping it running perfectly. Sad day for me. Glad you got rid of the bad voodoo. That’s pretty funny stuff.
I knew I needed to fall asleep quicly last night. This video was thr perfect white noise for the job. Thank you Jason for being you
Just finished the video. Great stream of consciousness. Jason is a natural stoner, which I say with the greatest respect. We had an illegal radio station when I was a freshman at college. I did the late night shift and was told that I could ‘run’ for a bit.
Sorry Jason, “getting” to see anyone, even you, yammering about anything is not an incentive to join the hive mind. Rather the opposite, I’m afraid. Sorry.
I have to wonder if there was no camera would he be still happily chatting away?
I’m thinking yes.
A sign of great intelligence or madness?
The tail lights blink yes.
We seem to have Schrodinger’s Taxi on our hands.
Jason, you never fail to make my day. No matter how much enshitification (your word, not mine, but I want to use it because it’s perfect) has hit my world for the day, I can rely on logging into the Autopian and seeing a post from you. Instant smile and for the goodness of weirdness. yOU MAKE WEIRD COOL AND SOMETHING TO INSPIRE TO. Thanks for the smile. I needed that!!! now, tomorrow is going to be especially rough on me, I’m going to have to tell Grandma/pa that the drug they need to survive won’t be covered in 2026.Nevermind their health insurance company had a 38 billion dollar profit last year. CEO needs solid gold crappers for the yacht, don’t ya know. Can you please do a tail light or some other kind of weird car thing article for me? I’m going to need my weird Jason article fix. Thank you in advance
Health insurance company CEOs get shot for that kind of thing, you know. And that’s only going to get worse in this country. The coverage. Oh, and maybe the shooting. But it’s not going to be me pulling the trigger.
Jason, you’re scaring me right now. You shouldn’t look that happy wreaking havoc behind a steering wheel. You do remember your heart vain playing like a Lucas fuse, don’t you? On a side note, this is the best martini I’ve ever had! Kudo’s to my butler
“Otto, your father might be going away for a while. Everything will be fine.” Anyway, I think David Spade should play you in, “Autopian-The Movie.” A Crown-International Release. For sure, I’m happy to be a member.
Ii could so see David Spade playing Jason in a movie .Good casting there
It’s the voice that clicked for me.
Hold on, you can’t just announce who Jason would be cast as. What about the rest of us? 🙂
Sir Patrick Stewart HAS to play Uncle Adrian. I really wanna see him wearing a black mohawk and giving his trademark disdain for terrible design!
Edit: or Bill Nighy!! He might even be better!!
Bill Nighy has the right attitude but too old. David Tennant would be a better fit, even if he is Scottish.
I say the guy who played the Indian in the US version of Ghosts
THAT is a movie I would go see.
Mercedes, I think Leslie Jones could do you justice. Zachary Woods is Adrian Clarke. I would have said Donald Sutherland, but he’s no longer with us. Charles Martin Smith is David Tracy. Paul Rudd is SWG. And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver. Thanks for inviting me to play!
I’d see that movie too.
Johnny Galecki as Jason, Mayim Bialick as Mercedes, Simon Helberg as Matt Hardigree, Jim Parsons as David, …hrm…I’m finding ‘The Big Bang Theory’ cast fits surprisingly well for my imaginations from afar of the Autopian crew…
I’m thinking Rick Moranis
Oh! Good call!!
Whatever you are doing, I’m here for it. You’re a treasure, Jason. A weird one, but still, a treasure.
Jason is amazing. Check out you tube where he restores cars and gets them running again for seniors. That one video where he got a VW running again for a widow had me crying. He truly is an awesome person. I thought I was the only weirdo obsessed with tail lights…..and then Jason did a post. This was before the Autopian. I’ve been a follower and fan of his weirdness for years now. He is truly one of a kind. The good kind, mind you. With amber turn signals on his back side, of course. As is only proper in his kingdom LOL
Where is this?
just do a search on youtube. He has tons of entertaining and informative content on it.
“pure, uncut crap! The kind of crap that, were a cop to find a baggie of it and then take a fingerful and rub it on their gums, they’d say “it’s pure!” And they’d be right”
And it will pair excellently with the amber filled juice bottles found on the side of any road in America.
This s were some great Jason quotes. Tree meat , ear dining , a happy taxi set free
Just think, if you’re lucky enough, someday Otto will show this to his offspring in an effort to try and explain Granddad Torch to them.
“You kids see this? Now you understand why, when Grandpa started arguing rationalism and stoicism, we knew we had to put him in a home.”
Or you kids see this? It is why Grandpa Jason is in Auto Asylum Institution for the automotive criminally insane and why we can’t visit.
Wait a minute, it IS edited! That’s probably for the best.
lightly! Mainly just cutt out the dead air as the journey through the rockies was longggg
Do yourself a favor: Set the playback speed to .25 and go to 9:19
I don’t have a thesaurus on hand, but is succumb another word for “embrace”?
Or surrender, face a fait au complete, or surrender, or to pleasure someone orally.
Hate to break it to you Torch, but you only got to go through the Eisenhower Tunnel, not the Johnson Tunnel. Too bad, because the Johnson Tunnel is known for its rich velour wall paneling.
the pine trees are dead from Pine Beetle
https://csfs.colostate.edu/forest-management/common-forest-insects-diseases/mountain-pine-beetle/
TV editor here. Great advice with “start recording before you get going and well after you think you’re done.”
But my first real thought was “there’s at least two more angles, somewhere, right?”
We definitely had other angles and the chase car, this is just stuff we didn’t use!
I should have never doubted you.
Former TV news photographer here. I tried to make it easy for the editors. I actually preferred to edit my stuff myself, but at one station there were union limitations and at others there were time limitations because they needed me to go shoot some other stuff. It was a fun first half of my career. And the first couple of years of that half was newspaper photography, which was much easier on my back.
Ol’ Jay-Jay is likin’ the lichen
Fun fact: cocaine was a standard part of dentistry 100 years ago
A real connoisseur of tree meat.
And people wonder why they are called the good old days.
Cocaine was stocked in my father’s pharmacy. This was 50 years ago. He said it was used in eye drops.
And Coca-cola.
Lidocaine is not that far off…
Can we have a subscription tier where Torch gags us and takes us on a road trip?
Hahah, why do you have to be gagged? #nojudgement
It’s the Range Rover method for dealing with anyone being the fifth wheel.
That’s a deep reference, I like it.
I feel like being willing to accept certian membership riders like that should merit discounts.
Like serving as an on-call “come pick me up/bring this from the parts store.” autopian. Or being willing to drive Adrian around while he critiques everything about you and your area.
Probably frisk us to make sure we don’t have any sharp pointy objects.
I would really be worried to ride with him if he’s gagged.