We’ll Get There Fast And Then We’ll Take It Slow: 1994 Chevy C1500 vs 2000 BMW Z3

Today is an experiment. I wasn’t finding anything inspiring in my usual searches, so I decided to open up the Craigslist page for a town at random, and grab two cars that caught my eye, whatever they may be. The town I chose, and the reason for the silly title, is Kokomo, Indiana – which I can assure you looks nothing like Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, or the Bahamas.

But first let’s finish up with yesterday’s desert project cars. You have to remember, when I pick cars, I’m picking something that’s interesting to write about, not necessarily something I would ever consider buying, or that I think someone else should buy. That Buick Regal yesterday is, in my estimation, a piece of junk – but it was a piece of junk I could get a few hundred words out of. I didn’t expect many people to vote for it, and I was right.

That little yellow Alfa, on the other hand, looks like exactly the sort of trouble I’m likely to get into, or was, once upon a time. There’s a reason why I’m only allowed to buy cars that can make it into the driveway under their own power, and it’s because things like this are just too tempting to me. Two grand for a good-looking and rust-free Alfa? Be still my heart.

Kokomo, Indiana is about an hour north of Indianapolis, in an area known for natural gas mines and transmission factories. It’s bigger than I thought; I was going to jokingly refer to it as a “wide spot in the road,” but it’s a town of 60,000 people. But despite that, its Craigslist car offerings are scant; the cars I’ve chosen to look at are two ads out of only seven.

It’s hard to buy a car in a small town. There isn’t much to choose from. It’s hard to sell them, too, because everybody knows your car; they’ve seen how dirty you let it get in the winter, and they all heard about that time you peeled out of the drive-through at the Tastee-Freez. (Poor Diane nearly choked on her chili dog, you scared her so badly.) So I wouldn’t blame the residents of Kokomo if they chose to list their cars in Indianapolis, where there’s more action and more anonymity. Since I did find a couple of fun-looking rides, however, let’s check them out.

1994 Chevrolet C1500 Silverado – $8,500

Engine/drivetrain: 5.0 liter OHV V8, four-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Macy, IN

Odometer reading: 129,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

You all know I’m a big fan of the GMT400 trucks, and I’m not the only one here. The GMT400 occupies that sweet spot between the primitive, rough-riding dinosaurs that trucks used to be and the enormous, gadget-laden family sedan substitutes they have become. It’s a handsome design, a reliable and durable platform, and it’s now old enough to elicit some nostalgia; no wonder values are going up. A truck like this one would have been cheap a few years ago, but no longer.

The seller says this truck has “maximum Grandpa coolness,” and I agree. This is the sort of truck that guys used to buy right after retirement with the intention of keeping them for the rest of their lives. It’s not 4WD, because they never intended to go anywhere with more rugged terrain than the local fishing spot, and it’s a middle-of-the-road 305 V8 with an automatic, because that’s enough power and who wants to bother with shifting anymore? It has only 129,000 miles on it, and it runs and drives great.

It’s a Silverado, so it’s a whole lot fancier on the inside than my old fleet-spec Cheyenne. It has power windows and locks, carpet on the floor, and even upholstery on the door panels like it’s a Caprice Classic or something. Fan-cy. Everything works, the seller says, except the air conditioning. (Mine works – neener-neener.) It’s not a difficult or expensive A/C system to overhaul and upgrade to R134a, so making this truck even cooler inside is totally doable.

It’s damn near perfect outside, and it’s two-tone, as all trucks should be – unless, of course, they’re lucky enough to be Forest Service Green. Most GMT400s in the midwest lost their cab corners and rocker panels ages ago to rust, but this one looks practically new. Grandpa did a good job of keeping the salt off it. No, it’s not cheap, but from the looks of it, if you really want a good example of these trucks, it’s worth every penny.

2000 BMW Z3 2.8 – $11,000

Engine/drivetrain: 2.8 liter DOHC inline 6, four-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Kokomo, IN

Odometer reading: 47,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

The BMW Z3 debuted with a splash in the James Bond movie GoldenEye. It was an odd choice; not only was it smaller and lower-powered than the typical Bond ride, it was uncharacteristically unpatriotic. James Bond, driving a German car, after all those years of Astons and Lotuses? Perish the thought. And not only was it a BMW, but it was a BMW built in South Carolina.

The Z3 was available with either four- or six-cylinder engines; this one has an M52 inline six displacing 2.8 liters, and, sadly, an automatic transmission. I know, I know; I’d rather have a manual too. It seems to have hardly been driven; the odometer shows only 47,000 miles. Poor thing; it needs some exercise. The ad leaves us wanting more information; all we get is “great shape” and “new tires.”

The inside looks as clean as you’d expect for so few miles, with only a little wear on one seat bolster. No ejector seat or hidden weapons in this one, sadly, but it does have the facelifted interior, with a nice analog clock in the center console and an insulated top with a headliner.

It’s very clean outside, too, but I can’t help noticing that misalignment of the rear bumper and quarter panel right by the taillight. I’m assuming that BMW didn’t let it leave the factory like that, and that the bumper has seen a bit of action. It’s not bad, but it’s the sort of thing that warrants a peek underneath to check for repairs. There’s not much point in bothering with such things on a $2,500 car, but for eleven grand, we expect more.

I’m aware that neither one of these could remotely be called a “shitbox.” But there’s no rule that says we can’t look at nice things once in a while. If it makes you feel better, imagine that the name of this column, just for today, is “Creampuff Comparison.” Which one of these is worth going to Kokomo, Indiana to check out?