Don’t ask me what the scenario is where The Autopian is somehow empowered to force everyone to get a pickup truck and why we’re not forcing you to buy something more on-brand for us (for example, the weirdest shitbox within your Facebook Marketplace range settings), but go with me here.
You’re getting a pickup truck. Whether or not you need one doesn’t matter. Heck, let’s even say it’s on the government’s dime, so don’t worry about whatever your cash flow situation is. You’re getting a pickup truck. And by “pickup truck,” I mean anything with a bed that a regular person would say is a pickup truck, even if they have to squint a bit. So, no utes, but Autopian Asks isn’t very big on rules, so don’t expect the Comment Cops to bust in if you start talking cars with beds attached.
That said, some people– probably not you, but some people – will decry trucks like the Ford Maverick, Honda Ridgeline, and Hyundai Santa Cruz as mere cars with beds attached, because they’re not body-on-frame and don’t have a solid rear axle. To which I say: nah, they’re pickup trucks. And of those three, it’s probably the Maverick for me, even though I chose a Ridgeline for the topshot. I’m not a big fan of driving pickups when they aren’t actively doing truck things, so the more car-like a truck is, the better. And the lower the better, too.
But that’s just me. Maybe this is your chance to get a mucho-macho lifted truck just for lulz. Perhaps you’d like to go full cowboy Cadillac, since value and practicality are only as much of the discussion as you want them to be. Or maybe … I dunno, I’m asking.
If you must have a truck lest you run afoul of the truck-having police, which do you choose?
Top graphic image: Honda
Santa Cruz, or maybe the hybrid Maverick.
If it has to be my daily driver, probably a Colorado Trail Boss. If it doesn’t have to be my daily driver, a Colorado ZR2 Bison or Ranger Raptor.
Well, I already have one pickup truck, a diesel Gladiator, but por que no los dos?
I’d probably opt for a classic, like a Chevrolet C20, Jeep J-10 or J-20 (especially in the Honcho trim), or a Ford dent-side. Those are the trucks I keep browsing on Craigslist anyway. It’s a shame the FJ80 Land Cruiser was never sold in a truck configuration, but I’m sure someone’s conversion is available in Australia for import.
Okay, final answer: Jeep Honcho with a tube roll bar in the bed and some classic KC lights.
Maverick Hybrid AWD.
If I’m forced at gunpoint to decide on one with a separate frame, shoot me now. If only because I’d be indecisive AF.
I would import a Hilux double cab from Europe
Since someone else is paying, a Chevy Silverado EV with extended range battery. After last week’s multiday power outage from storms, and recent degradation of our local power grid, I would use the truck as a whole house battery backup.
If I didn’t have to pay for it, a Rivian R1T quad motor max pack. I could replace my current old GMC and Mach-E. Then buy a BRZ.
I don’t truck with this initiative!
…but if I absolutely, positively, could not avoid having a truck I’d go with:
A (the used option): probably some 80’s or 90’s stickshift minitruck like the little Isuzu I learned how to drive stick on. Rangers, Toyota Pickup, that sort of thing.
B (the “it has to be new and on the current US market” option): ughhghghhh okay fine, I guess a Maverick hybrid, hopefully I can get it in Ford’s nice green
I just binge watched 17 minutes of Joe Isuzu ads on YouTube the other day and had forgotten how cool those little P’ups were.
They are definitely fun, in an archaic bare-bones sort of way!
1937-39 Studebaker Coupe Express
or
1972 Ford Ranchero Squire
The answer depends on whether the pickup would add to or replace some of my fleet.
If I’m keeping my current vehicles, then probably a Maverick Hybrid because I already have a fullsize 4WD body on frame SUV. If I didn’t have that, I’d probably buy a new Ranger or GMC Canyon since I only ever tow about 5K lbs max.
Datsun 620 with a heavily modified L28 producing 300+horses with a 5-Spd. Bride seats, 10 Dynaudio and Focal Utopia speakers with a couple of Arc Audio amps.
4th gen Mitsubishi L200. It’s not obnoxiously big, and I have always like the Mickey Mouse styling.
Dodge Rampage, the original one. I grew up around Mopar L-bodies (if mostly in 5-door hatchback form) and for pretty much all the truck stuff I could use a truck for, a low bed floor is much more helpful than total payload capacity.
My answer has always been a GM half-ton because it’s the devil I know. I’d prefer an extended cab (not a crew cab) with a reasonable, not high-zoot trim.
But the way GM has uglified their trucks and the issues with the 6.2L V8 really torched that as a fallback position. Hopefully the new engine is more reliable and I can fall back to that position again.
Does it have to be new? I’d love to find another Lil Red Express.
Or can I wait a year for a Slate?
Subaru Sambar with 4wd and manual transmission. 99% don’t need more truck than this. I’m no exception.
Can I sell it? Because if so I’m buying the biggest, stupidest, most kitted out tiny-peener compensating thing I can find and then selling it immediately and buying a beat up 71 Ford f100 I can work on and everything else I need for it, then paying off my children’s college
Hmm. Truck has to pull double-duty as family hauler, so has to seat 5 reasonably. That leaves out the Slate. Needs to also fit in the garage, so no bigger than our Expedition (which fits and can open the hatch w/o hitting anything).
Actual truck available now? Ridgeline. Wanted this to be the Maverick, but then I sat in one. I’d be a bad parent doing that back seat to my kids.
Theoretical truck that might be available at some point soon? Telo. It’s probably not actually any better back-seat-wise than the Maverick, but hey – electric! …and what appears to be “all of the utility, half the space” which is somehting I could get behind.
TRX.
Instructions unclear, already own 1966 C10 long bed
Holden Maloo
Jeep Honcho Sportside (irrational)
Chevy Colorado/GMC Canyon (rational)
Either a Ford Maverick Hybrid AWD or a Duramax 1500 Silverado or Sierra. I drive 25k miles a year and need something good on fuel. I’d get the Maverick if my lifestyle wasn’t changing but if I suddenly had to do Truck Things™ I’d get the Duramax Silverado or Sierra
1978 Dodge D-100.
I don’t have a rational explanation. I just want a tin grill.
Really, this makes no sense.
I might need some kind of therapy.
Short bed, please.
Mazda Rotary Pickup.
Does everything I’d need a pick-’em-up to do (which is not much) and is a hoot to drive, too.
Which reminds me that any good engine worth their salt and installed in a pickup truck should be able to reach 9,000rpm and stay there a while.