I have never had or wanted a vanity plate, but I certainly enjoy seeing the creative letter and digit choices others have made in the name of having fun, flexing, or otherwise sending a message via their federally mandated stamped sheetmetal.
Well, I enjoy some of them. The others, I react to, as I am just as frequently annoyed by vanity plates as I am entertained by them. Not deeply annoyed, mind you, there are much more important concerns in life. But I will roll my eyes, and perhaps exhale sharply with a dismissive pfffft.
In particular, I’m not a fan of smug plates on electric vehicles – by which I mean Teslas. It’s almost always Teslas. It was once a thing for Priuses (which are hybrids, I know), but I can’t recall the last time I saw a Prius suggesting its driver was somehow better than me via license plate. And to be fair, it seems the Tesla owners around my neck of north-Dallas suburbia have chilled out with LOL GAS, NO OIL, LUV ERTH, and the like. I’m sure they’re still out there, but with every third vehicle being a white Model Y where I am, most of the Tesla plates I see are standard luck-of-the-draw affairs. It’s just a regular car, after all.
Vanity plates on enthusiast cars run hot and cold for me, depending entirely on the message of course. A hot car with a HOT CAR plate is a hat on a hat. But if you’re rolling out in a pricey performance machine and your plate is BROKE or NO401K, respect. And while a chuckle was likely not the intention, I do get a one whenever a plate goes harder than the car itself deserves, for ex:
My favorite vanity plates are the thinkers, the ones that take a sec to register but then reward you with the thrill of getting it. Such as:
Judging by those fender flares, I’m betting there’s an angry-eyes grille up front for eff’s sake.
it’s a McConaughey thing
byu/Austin_Native_2 inLICENSEPLATES
McConaug-HEY, I get it! And it’s a Texas plate, of course. That’s quality license-plate humor.
Your turn: What Are The Best And Worst Vanity Plates You’ve Encountered? See you in the comments!
I was in Nashville last week and ran across a truck with WHISK3Y on the plates and stickers for a distributor or distiller or something I don’t recall on the back glass. I remember thinking that was a perfect example of how to use personalized plates properly and find workarounds when your first choice was already taken.
Here’s mine.
No, I do not live in California in 1990.
I have a green car with the plate – AVISPON. I love it but virtually nobody gets it. For you monolingual types – AVISPON is Spanish for hornet. So the car is the Avisopon Verde. I like vanity plates because I can remember my license plate! My other vehicle has the name of my small rural town. That gets lots of thumbs up locally.
I’ve seen Maine’s legendary TOESUKR plate in person…not sure if that counts as ‘best’ or ‘worst.’
This was before cell phone cameras, but I saw a young woman getting out of a Camaro with the plate reading “WAS HIS.” Pretty sweet!
In traffic, SW Florida:
OTW2FYM
My wife and I were both ashamed that we were able to work it out.
My mother and stepfather had cutesy matching vanity plates.
Hers was IWUVDB
His was IWUVU2
my teenage self couldn’t stop making fun of how stupid it was.
Ive had ANA10G for my Volvo 240 wagon for as long as ive had it (first ohio, then colorado) im an EE, so the fiat is D1G1TAL, but one day i got an important lesson in interpretation….. i was getting a tire patched on the Volvo, and the manager of the tire place who was quite obviously a body builder with the thickest neck ive ever seen came up to me and asked “Are you the Anal OG?” after a brief pause, i looked him right in the eye and responded, “bend over and lets find out”
Best: IIIIIII (on a Lancia Delta)
Worst: TESLA (on a Mercedes-Benz)
I just remembered that I saw a beautiful black Corvette convertible with the plate BLKLKME. The driver was of the appropriate ethnicity. I honked and gave him a thumbs up. It is also the title of James Baldwin’s book, so a triple.
For my MR2, I wanted to get “MR SQRD.” My real initials are M.R. I never did. The idea was enough.
Best one I’ve ever seen was on a newer Subaru STi at a meet years ago back when I still had mine. The plate was P0304 which is the cel for cylinder 4 misfire, and frequently an indicator of the end being near for the life of an EJ257 engine.
NYOOOOM… on my Micra, because it makes you smile every time you see it cos you make the noise in your head…. it was my second choice as Main Roads wouldn’t let me have JOZXYQK… heathens.
I once saw a car with the plate DE SADE.
It was on a Mercury Grand Marquis.
As everyone knows, minivans are more spacious and practical than three row generic crossovers, but if you’re a cool dad you don’t get the van. So, I referred to my generic three row crossover as “the dad van” around my wife too many times and she got me “1DAD VAN” plates.
I once saw a Saskatchewan plate down here in Omaha that said, “SRY L8” and I thought it was very polite and very Canadian to apologize via vanity plate.
Also, being in Nebraska, once saw “A NUSTRT” on Husker plates, so for both referencing NU as in the college, and the arrested development joke, good job killing two birds with one plate.
And while Tesla plates are indeed played out, I did chuckle at “DEZWATZ” when I saw it.
I saw a BMW with Texas’s hamburger license plate with CHONKR.
The clever vanity plate prize if there were such a thing would have gone to my grandfather who drove a 912 soft window Targa with the plate “CLEVER”, because that was his name. My uncle later turned it into an autocross terror, with the same plate.
We had a customer several years ago with an Audi a4 cabriolet. Her plate said INNIE.
A neighbour in Toronto has a Nismo’ed Z with a fat exhaust and his plate is “TOOQUIET.” And some guy (presumably named Alphonso) has the plate “ALPHONSO.”
I also recently saw a G wagen with AMG badging and a plate that read “COLD” in Illinois.
ALPHONSO reminds me of an incident a few years ago in DC. The police were looking for a murder suspect and his license plate was literally his last name.
“Who could it be?”
“If only he’d left us a clue!”
My favorite was a former neighbor, a lovely old woman who lived with her white fluffball of a dog named Gizmo. Her plate:
GIZNME
how the hell did that get approved and no one stopped her?
Zooming down 295 into Washington DC last year I was passed on the right side by a Mini with a DC vanity plate that said GOATSE.
I almost drove off the road. If you know, you know; DON’T google it.
I have been SO tempted to get that when I moved states. But then I’d have to explain it to my spouse and in-laws, so I decided against it.
I had CYBRGRL in Colorado. Our client that made prosthetic limbs always got a kick out of it.
On the back of my MG Midget: OILLEAKR
Seen people roll up behind me, laugh, take a pic.