It’s a sad thing, but most cars don’t really have faces anymore. They have fronts, and those fronts have grilles and headlights and perhaps scoops and slots with varying degrees of fakery and functionality, but the days when nearly everything on four wheels had headlights that could be seen as eyes and grilles that could be seen as mouths with just the slightest application of imagination are largely over – unless you count squinty robots, I suppose, but I don’t.
Best of all, to me, are cars that look genuinely happy, and no car expresses exuberant joy quite as effectively as an Austin-Healey Sprite of the bugeye variety, as seen in the top graphic. Who can resist that widdle face? Not I.
Chrysler leaned into a happy(ish) face with the launch of the Neon, and I’m sure readers of a certain age recall the “Hi” campaign that launched the car (and perhaps also recall this spoof). I’ll grant that those round headlights do a good job of giving the car eyes, but the rest of the “face” is much more neutral than happy. It definitely befits “Hi [period]” more than”Hi [exclamation point].”
Now, if you want truly happy, I give you the second-gen Mazda 3. Even in its most muscular Mazdaspeed trim, this was a car that took “Zoom-Zoom” and dialed it up to “Zoom-Zoom, LOL.” A buddy of mine had a Mazdaspeed3 and bemoaned its smiling visage, but I’ve always loved it. It’s a hatchback, lighten up.
Here’s another face that has stayed with me, though more surprised than happy. Or shocked, even; Jason featured this pop-eyed, mouth-agape Lotus in his Cold Start installment aptly headlined “The First Car To Be Called A Lotus Had A Great Shocked Spider Face.” Yep, crushed it. (The description, not the spider).
As I hope you know by now, we’re not very precious about rules when we Autopian Asks you something, so feel free to talk car faces that are emotions other than happy – even downright angry, if you like. I give you the Standard Gazel, another of Torch’s Cold Start finds. Easy, now, be cool bro, no one wants trouble here …
Your turn: What Are The Happiest Car Faces? Or the saddest, or maddest – or the horniest? Have fun with it.
Top graphic image: Austin-Healey
Opel GT with the headlights up, with no front license plate it’s very happy indeed
MINI has kept the happy, round eye look alive with the 2-door Cooper series.
the mk7 gti has a really happy 😀 type expression helped immensely by the trapezoid shape on the bottom. the foglights even look kind of like whiskers too
Toyota Celica, no one is more stoked to be here than a Toyota Celica
ND Miata
The original Renault Twingo had a cute face. Not sold here, but common in Europe.
I waiting for “The Most Constipated Looking Car Face” post. For me, that would go to the 2015/16 Toyota Avalon. I looks like it is seriously straining for a poo.
First generation Acura MDX looks like that one smile emoji…the one where the smile is a bit high on the face, and narrow. I’d paste in an example, but I don’t have the energy to sort through a billion smile emojis.
Jetta GLI with the red lips curled up at the edges gives of both Creeper and Happy dude vibes to me.
“What Are The Happiest Car Faces?”
“Angry Jeep” frowns rolled upside down.
Any law enforcement vehicle, with it’s lights on, in my rear view mirror, have the scariest faces.
Back in the day (1965-1967), I drove a Bugeye Sprite. It was fragile, unreliable, and more fun than the law allowed.
They’re so expensive now 🙁
I passed a classic car dealer a few years back where they had a really nice Sprite for £15k, and next to it, a bright orange Lotus Esprit Turbo II, also for £15k.
The Lotus might be faster, but at that price I’d put my money on the Sprite going further.
https://crdms.images.consumerreports.org/c_lfill,w_563,q_auto,f_auto/prod/cars/chrome/white/2012GMC001a_640_01
The GMC Acadia. My grandmother calls her Chubby Cheeks.
I think the world definitely needs some happier faces on our cars. I bought an old Neon just yesterday (I am a wholesaler car buyer) and was reminded of how cute these things really were. The Miata is of course always the answer and the first modern Beetle in the 90’s was so damn adorable. Less angry bro-trucks and punk Wrangler faces and more of the above, please.
Who owns the Austin Healy Sprite name now? We need a cheaper infinitely less reliable but nonetheless endearing Miata.
As far as I can tell from Wikipedia the current owners are the Chinese manufacturer SAIC. A better question though would be who hasn’t owned the Austin-Healy name at some point.
Previous owners include British Aerospace, BMW, MG, Jaguar, Rover, BMC. and practically every other manufacturer between Longbridge and Shanghai.
Round headlights and curved bumpers help with happy faces. Caught from the right angle, old Beetles always give me that “happy puppy, come and play with me vibe.”
https://itisgood.org/auto-biography/#66VW
Has no one really mentioned the Toyota MR2 Roadster yet? The happiest car face of the 21st century?
https://preview.netcarshow.com/Toyota-MR2-2000-Front.7a4acf62.jpg
Chrome bumper 911s are pretty happy looking.
ZD8 BRZ and the facelifted 1st gen Xterra are two that I haven’t seen mentioned yet.
Jerry Seinfeld chose a bugeye Sprite for his episode with Miranda Sings.
Not happy, per se, but when you pull the front fascia off a Jeep Renegade to replace the radiator, it genuinely looks like it’s shocked to be caught naked.
Challengers as well, at least the facelift ones.
https://pin.it/7K2jScWTR