It’s a sad thing, but most cars don’t really have faces anymore. They have fronts, and those fronts have grilles and headlights and perhaps scoops and slots with varying degrees of fakery and functionality, but the days when nearly everything on four wheels had headlights that could be seen as eyes and grilles that could be seen as mouths with just the slightest application of imagination are largely over – unless you count squinty robots, I suppose, but I don’t.
Best of all, to me, are cars that look genuinely happy, and no car expresses exuberant joy quite as effectively as an Austin-Healey Sprite of the bugeye variety, as seen in the top graphic. Who can resist that widdle face? Not I.
Chrysler leaned into a happy(ish) face with the launch of the Neon, and I’m sure readers of a certain age recall the “Hi” campaign that launched the car (and perhaps also recall this spoof). I’ll grant that those round headlights do a good job of giving the car eyes, but the rest of the “face” is much more neutral than happy. It definitely befits “Hi [period]” more than”Hi [exclamation point].”
Now, if you want truly happy, I give you the second-gen Mazda 3. Even in its most muscular Mazdaspeed trim, this was a car that took “Zoom-Zoom” and dialed it up to “Zoom-Zoom, LOL.” A buddy of mine had a Mazdaspeed3 and bemoaned its smiling visage, but I’ve always loved it. It’s a hatchback, lighten up.
Here’s another face that has stayed with me, though more surprised than happy. Or shocked, even; Jason featured this pop-eyed, mouth-agape Lotus in his Cold Start installment aptly headlined “The First Car To Be Called A Lotus Had A Great Shocked Spider Face.” Yep, crushed it. (The description, not the spider).
As I hope you know by now, we’re not very precious about rules when we Autopian Asks you something, so feel free to talk car faces that are emotions other than happy – even downright angry, if you like. I give you the Standard Gazel, another of Torch’s Cold Start finds. Easy, now, be cool bro, no one wants trouble here …
Your turn: What Are The Happiest Car Faces? Or the saddest, or maddest – or the horniest? Have fun with it.
Top graphic image: Austin-Healey
Mitsuoka Orochi – it’s Japanese for “Happy Super Pufferfish!”
That would be great top-pic for tomorrow’s post: “What’s Car Looks the Fishiest?”
“What Car Looks The Fishiest?” Runners-Up
3rd Gen Lexus ES300
3rd Gen Ford Taurus (multi-oval pre-facelift)
2nd Gen Chrysler Concorde (pre and post-facelift)
Spyker C8
Mercedes-Benz Bionic Concept
Chevrolet Corvette Mako Shark Concept
Face-lifted 4th gen Camaro with the flush headlights.
Honorable Mention:
Hyundai Ionic 6
1958 “Packardbaker” Hawk
I think there are a number of <30 year old jaguars that belong on this list
I’d argue for the 1962 Dodge Dart for fish-faced. Virgil Exner at his worst. Ugliest car I’ve ever owned. But Phil Hill did sign an autograph (for somebody else) on the hood of my car.
https://itisgood.org/auto-biography/#62Dodge
Yeah, I wanna know what drugs he was taking…
…so I can avoid them.
Those things were indeed ungainly. I always thought the front end sort of resembled a car dropped/smashed on top of another car.
Great “Auto”-biography btw! My vote for favorite was the Buick wagon, at least until I saw the Kaiser. My grandpa had a Kaiser and I’ve always been a fan of the marque.
Thanks! I wanted to love the Kaiser – big, comfy, good looking and low mileage. But man it was a turd to drive.
That version of the Mazda3 always struck me not as happy, but as Manic Cheerleader On Uppers Who is So Happy She is Really Very Scary and I Am Frightened.
It’s always looked to me like it had plastic surgery that went a little awry.
Miata Is Always The Answer
I can’t come up with a happier face than a bugeye Sprite.
To me the 50’s were in general the most expressive era. An early 50’s Buick has one of the saddest looking faces. Just look at this ’53 Super. That is a distraught automobile. This 1950 Oldsmobile looks like it’s about to burst a waterworks pipe as well.
Back then, as now, Dodge takes home the angriest. This ’59 Custom Royal looks like it has just about had enough of everyone’s shit. You’ll find it parked over at the West Side Tap.
I dunno – I have the feeling 1961 Plymouth Fury is, um, Furious.
That is a good one – love the looks of a ’61 Fury. One of the few cars I liked better once its fins were smoothed over. I do get more of a “determined” vibe from the front end though. I’m pretty sure if the ’59 Dodge had fists, they’d be clenched.
Yes, definitely the bugeye Sprite! I’ve never seen anything as cute and happy. You have to switch species over to kittens, puppies, lambs…
Happiest ever maybe not, but the first gen Ford EXP has the look of a contented frog in a nature special.
I’ve been told the Murtaya’s face looks pretty happy…but that the back end also looks sad?
610706769_18553461427025626_8254014901542493945_n.jpg (526×708)
I think the Mazda3 of that gen was more scary leering clown face than happy face.
I like the original Renault Twingo. Those things are just all-around happy, inside and out. So friendly! https://en.amklassiek.nl/renault-twingo-is-now-truly-gaining-cult-status-espace-in-pocket-size/2024/08/08/
The bugwye Sprite is the best always
Lightning McQueen. Not smiling 24/7, but he does hang out in the same circle as Larry the Cable Guy.
The Standard Gazel face wasn’t a bad effort at facelifting the Triumph Herald into the mid/late ’70s on the cheap – if hardly a necessary one, the competition in India was still fully stuck in 1959 – but they could’ve gotten it so much further with hardly any effort just by blacking out the grille texture.
Toyota Yaris, especially the mid/late ’00s version. images (636×450)
Torch did a whole column on how Ford had the guts to give the Escape a happy face 2021_ford_escape_4dr-suv_se_fq_oem_1_600.jpg (600×400) just before they facelifted it to look more “aggressive”.
Hm. I had the yaris you speak of and never thought of it that way. I think maybe the fog lights serve as dimples? And those were a luxury I could not afford at the time. Here it is without the lights. I think it changes the look:
https://static.cargurus.com/images/forsale/2026/01/01/09/36/2008_toyota_yaris-pic-6109444480336611558-1024×768.jpeg
Mine didn’t have the fog lights either, that was a stock photo.
While I like the Miata Whee I am a car. The 2013 Acura with the derp I am a car wins
Yeah the NSX is just missing a little bit of tongue hanging out.
Original F-Type before they made it all angry was super happy & excited
Ferrari FF. How could you not have a smile like that if you are a V12 shooting brake?
550 Maranello too.
My ’94 SHO was stern, like don’t F’ with me. Given the performance at that time, fully justifyable.
Third generation Chevy Cavalier
I don’t really subscribe to the adage “Miata is always the answer,” but it really is this answer, especially if we’re looking for a vehicle that stayed cheerful over several refreshes (which I am–I don’t want to find the one happy iteration of a vehicle, but the happiest one over time).
Toyota/Scion iQ both have pretty expressive faces … for the Toyota it’s almost a literal interpretation of “stiff upper lip,” while the Scion has more of a California “whoa dude” thing going on, but they definitely both are much more cheerful than most of what’s out there.
Most Miatas especially the NA. My old bugeye WRX and maybe my old Fiat 500 Abarth?
I just had to wait for a reply to get approved, and notified by email. Is this new or did I finally trip an algorithm?
Can’t mention bugeyes and forget the bugeye WRX. As the username would suggest, I am a fan of Jeep faces as well. And that last sentence reminds me that when I first read the title of the article, I thought it said “What are the happiest car feces?” which didn’t surprise me since I am reading the autopian.
The happiest car feces is when the “hair” is coming out of the exhaust (not for the owner, but happiest for the car). Happiest for the driver is when you set it up to ignite unburned fuel. Rolling coal is the equivalent of the vehicle straining too hard and having a little accident and it should feel at least as shameful as that.
What could be happier than a 2010 Mazda3?
I drove a 2011 for over a decade and always thought the “happy face” criticism was overblown. But the blowback did give us Kodo, so… Who’s to say?
NC Miata for the obnoxious smile.
’53 Corvette for the forced “I’m uncomfortable” smile.
Original Beetle. Actually, ’67+ with the more vertical headlights seem more “eye like”. They’re just happy cars.
Our Mazda 5 also has a bit of a joker grin/laugh thing going too like the Mazda 3 does.
Miatas are also up there. NAs with the headlights up, and NBs just seem happy and ready to go all the time.
The Twingo is probably the happiest ever.
The Angriest is the is a tie between the 1960-61 Plymouth Furry and the 2010-2015 Dodge Charger.
The Horniest? The Alfa Romeo Montreal has some serious “fuck me” eyes, in a sentence I never imagined writing.
Especially the first generation mk1 with the amber indicators
The splash pic at the top is the archetype. The A-H Bugeye Sprite is a wagging, tip-tapping terrier who’s 100% ready to go for a romp. It is absolutely charming.
Its spiritual successor, the MX-5 in its first iteration wasn’t especially happy to be anywhere, but by the time the NC dropped the little fellow was your go-to willing partner. It’s adorable.
That’s about it, really. And in the recent years’ shift to more aggressive faces, things aren’t getting better. I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: a lot of cars out there look like either robot catfish or angry Cylons.
Looking at YOU in particular, Lexus.