To be clear, the question here is not “What is the blandest car?” or “What is the most boring car?” While blandness and boringness may contribute to a car’s inconspicuousness, these traits are not essential to it. What makes a car inconspicuous is, uh, its being inconspicuous. Look, you know it when you see it – which is to say, you don’t remember seeing it.
Better still if the cops don’t see it, the true measure of an inconspicuous car. As a teenager in command of the family’s Toyota SR5 wagon, I was a regular speeder in the angular little thing. On more than a few occasions, I flew beneath an I-95 overpass only to see a statie staked out behind a pillar as I passed, and I would brace myself for the flashers to come on and then … nothing. I’d breathe a sigh of relief, ease off the gas (but never touch the brakes, which would be a confession), and continue on my way to Fall River or wherever.
Spacer
I’m sure more than a few of you will say some model years of the Toyota Camry are inconspicuous, and you’ll be right, but I think the XV40 might the most invisible of the line. I used to drive one for a couple of weeks every summer in Newport, RI while on vacation – it was my mother-in-law’s, she didn’t drive anymore – and I swear, I could never find it after I parked it. It was a slate grey color, and it was like my eyes couldn’t focus on it. I’d do two laps of the Shaw’s parking lot with a gallon of milk sweating in my hand, then realize I was standing right beside it.
I put the Autopian Asks question to the gang as I usually do, and when Matt offered his pick, I wasn’t even able to form a mental image of it. I give you the 2018 Nissan Pathfinder:
That may actually be a 2017 above, but it doesn’t matter. Says Matt, “I’m a professional automotive journalist and, even if I wasn’t, I’d still think about cars all day. I have never thought about this crossover. It has a roof. It has wheels. That’s all I’ve got.”
The Bishop also came through with an inconspicuous car, one I had forgotten existed: The Mazda 929.
“It was almost exotically bland,” said The Bish, a turn of phrase that I am now in love with. I do think it looks quite smart though, and even crisper than the similarly squared-off Maxima and Camry that were on the roads in far greater numbers at the time – which no doubt made it even harder for an untrained eye to spot a 929.
Your turn: What Is The Most Inconspicuous Car?
Top graphic image: Toyota
Around here, any 3 series bmw, Tesla model 3 and Y, CRV and rav4, late Malibu or impala, Subaru Outback and increasingly Kia and Hyundai sedans and suv.
Amorphous compact suv blob in a non-color, grey/white/silver Rav4/Rogue/CRV/Sportage/Tucson/Equinox/Escape. I have a grey Outlander now so pretty much fit in that crew, on my commute I see so many I can hardly tell them apart.
Grumman LLV in USPS livery.
If the amazing movie Drive is correct (and it invariably is), it’s an early ’10s Chevy Impala.
“I don’t carry a gun, I don’t sit in with you while you’re running it down…I drive.”
Oh ha – I gave this same answer before seeing yours. I have to disagree about the amazingness of the movie though. Do I need to rewatch it??
IMHO, Drive is two movies in one.
The first half is great. I love the style, mood, and the driving. It’s low-key; minimalistic.
Halfway through the style changes and it becomes a mob B-movie. Meh.
For me anyway, I love the neo- (or neon-, depending on whom you ask) noir vibe it conveys, even though at heart, it’s a boy-meets-girl romance story. It’s faithful to the novel, but it also manages to riff on the extremely similar The Driver from 1979, which starred Ryan O’Neal in the titular role and is even more existential.
Damn it! I just saw it and forgot what it was.
This is the correct answer!
This needs to be an honorable mention for COTD!
After Harvey totaled my WRX and the wife’s Crosstrek and every new and used car in Houston we ended up buying a Silver 2005 Toyota Highlander from a friend of a friend. That car was 110% invisible. Seriously there are 3 of them next to you right now but you can’t see them!!! It’d be the perfect bank heist vehicle, just exit the parking lot and merge into traffic and disappear from sight.
It’s this. I don’t think a 1st gen Highlander could ever be used as an insurance ad Anycar, because changing the design would make it stand out more.
Sorry, my bad
I may have cussed you and all the rest with your name back in 2017-2018 but I’m starting to get over it now 😉
Glad to hear. Seriously, though, I hope y’all are OK. It took me way too long to realise you were referring to the hurricane.
I appreciate it, and yeah I’ve gotten sloppy with just referring to it as “Harvey”.
That’s what I had in mind, basic work truck or van, those things are everywhere
(was supposed to be a reply to Ford Friday)
White panel vans are definitely ubiquitous, but were hardly inconspicuous when the DC Sniper was on the loose. (Of course, they were looking for the wrong vehicle, but that’s a topic for another day.)
Over here? Prius or Skoda Octavia because taxis. That 929 is lovely, I wish they’d sold them here. I am a sucker for bubble era luxobarges.
Entirely location dependent. A white Tesla Model 3 is invisible in Los Angeles, but very conspicuous in Decatur, Alabama. In Decatur, Alabama, a lifted pickup is inconspicuous, but it would stick out like a sore thumb in Manhattan. Et cetera.
Assuming you are talking about America, I would say any half ton American truck in white with a black grill and steel wheels, manufactured after like 2013 (maybe earlier for certain ones). Manufacturer doesn’t matter, cab/bed size doesn’t matter.
In summary: work truck.
If you’re talking Europe: white van.
Manufacturer doesn’t matter, though I’d stay smaller than a Sprinter. But make sure it’s not been washed in ages. Maybe even scrawl “wash me” into the filth on the back.
I think it’s the same over here too. White vans are ubiquitous and nobody gives them a second look.
At least until they are completely decrepit and give off “free candy” vibes.
I see your work truck and raise you the highly-optioned, tarted-up luxdozer princess truck that never sees a worthy load.
those 90s Toyotas that were black on top with gray lower cladding. They looked invisible because the gray shit is the same shade of gray as the pavement itself
example:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ec/36/04/ec36044dbd901a46933bb56b973445d5.jpg
I’d tell you, but I either don’t remember or I missed it completely.
A white or silver Ford Fusion, from either generation. Bought by fleets and rental agencies all over the country. I had a 2010 Ford Fusion in silver. I would routinely walk up to the wrong car thinkin it was mine, and would be very confused when the fob didn’t unlock the trunk or doors. It’s happened to other people too, walking up to my car (sometimes with me in it) thinking it was theirs.
I think it was this for about a decade, they are starting to disappear now so esp when I see a first-gen I do a double take.
Ford Prefect of course. It even means “nicely inconspicuous”.
Camry with a dented bumper.
Silver SUV
My mom’s silver Prius.
Sometimes I’ve been driving it and there are three identical silver Prius’s within 100 feet of me. I don’t know how many times I’ve been waived through security checkpoints on various campuses because the guard thinks that I’m somebody else. I’m pretty sure that a silver Prius would be the ideal getaway car where I live. A few weeks ago, I put a piece of colored tape on each rearview mirror and on the rear bumper so that I could find it in the parking lot when it’s parked next to all the other silver Priuses.
I bet even with the tape you still can’t find it because it’s hidden behind a gray RAV4.
That’s mostly for parallel street parking, so I can see it from the end of the block. Also to cover where all the paint is scraped off the mirrors.
A white Corolla,2009-present.
Black CX-5
My “Modern Steel” (gray) 2020funtodriveHondaCRV. So ubiquitous.
At least until my wife lets me put TURBO decals on it…
Around here, a Tesla Model 3.
Gray Model Y are pretty invisible too
An inconspicuous car is one that is sold in high numbers and is in a very common colour or lack of colour.
So on that basis there are two… a white or black Toyota RAV4 or a white or black Ford F150 in a lower trim.
Honorable mention… white Ford Transit/GM Savanna-Express panel vans
A white toaster Dodge Grand Caravan, the equivalent of a loaf of bread. A little spicy touch if it has the engine tick noise.
This. We can’t even see the picture of it you posted.
That Pathfinder completely nails it, but it’s a bit of a cheat. Pretty much any non-luxury CUV in black gray or white from the twenty teens is equally the correct answer.
Yep. This. Gray CUV between 2008-2018. Pick almost any.
It’s a 2000 Buick Regal, in “Old Man Sand”
e: this one – https://imgur.com/nFQv7Cb
Your answer makes me realize the correct answer is region dependent. In middle of nowhere PA, you are correct. In the DC burbs, that car would stick out like a dog’s lipstick.
That dog must not get out much.
Those are rare birds these days around me. Most of them have piston slapped their way into the junkyard.
Single cab, white work truck with a toolbox in the back