What The Hell Is Going On With This Glass Assed Ford Pinto Convertible Project?

What you see in this Facebook Marketplace ad will blow your genitals clean off. You’ll be slack-jawed, head-tilted, or maybe even just making Tim Taylor noises at the sheer craftsmanship of this vehicle. This is no ordinary Ford Pinto. This, as the seller claims, is a 1977 Ford Pinto 350 convertible.

First, a little bit of history for those who only know the Pinto as a punchline. Launched in 1970, this compact hatchback was part of America’s assault on the Volkswagen. Look, the Allies kicked Wolfsburg’s ass by bombing the factory, some geopolitics happened, and the Volkswagen started to kick Detroit’s ass among people just looking for a cheap, solid car. The Ford Falcon didn’t really come down to the Volkswagen’s level, the Cortina was, well, British, and sold poorly in America, so the Pinto was really the big splash. Ford made more than three million of these runabouts, even if its design had some unfortunate consequences in the event of a rear-end collision. Naturally, it only makes sense that some of these units were customized.

Ford only made one Pinto convertible, and it was just a concept car that never made it to mass consumption. Still, that hasn’t stopped someone from taking matters into their own hands. Keep in mind, the ’70s was an era when enthusiasts were just waiting for NHTSA to outlaw convertibles on safety grounds, so thank god that possibility never materialized. Instead, we ended up with a steady stream of modern convertibles, along with this exceedingly unusual Ford Pinto. We’ve rotated the photo so you can fully, uh, appreciate it:

One signature feature of the Pinto is a massive rear window that lifts to provide access to the cargo area, which looks like this in the intended hatchback configuration. This custom convertible still has the glass, now serving as an entirely transparent trunk lid. Thieves might like that very much, as it should be easy to see what’s inside the trunk. Of course, because the Pinto’s rear window isn’t perfectly trapezoidal, filler pieces were made to fit the massive rear window in a horizontal position, and the end result is much better than the tramp’s-hat convertible top.

Yep, the sheer shock of a Pinto like this probably took your focus off the convertible top, didn’t it? Aftermarket convertible tops for cars that were never meant to be convertibles weren’t great in the ’70s and still aren’t great now, and this ragtop with its tiny rear window, litany of snaps, and straight-edge silhouette certainly isn’t the most flattering top ever made. Actually, there’s a whiff of Model T to it, which works in a weird sort of way.

Also delightful: the bespoke hood scoop, which in no way resembles a piece of apartment HVAC equipment or a cheap paper shredder. Whatever this silver thing is, it’s been molded into the hood by way of a forbidden mini-ramp, and that mini-ramp is painted the finest barbecue-spec flat black, because racecar. When you think about it, a Pinto is basically a Mustang, right?

As this is an American car of a certain era, there’s a litany of cosmetic tat going on to tart up the looks. The sort of stuff two-wheelers call “farkle.” How about a smidgen of woodgrain trim, and some chrome that follows absolutely zero body lines in particular as it bulldozes through the rear wheel arch lip? Oh, and let’s just gloss over the quartet of Buick hubcaps, as this Pinto clearly isn’t playing with a full deck as it is.

So where does the “350” in the title of the ad come from? Well, popping the hood certainly doesn’t make anything clearer. That front-mounted distributor rules out a small-block Chevrolet V8, and I have a suspicion there isn’t a V8 in this Pinto at all.  Truthfully, this looks like an Essex V6, but on the flip side, if I had a dollar for every pixel in this photograph, I’d have 17 cents. Such is the charm of Facebook Marketplace, am I right?

In all seriousness, this 1977 Ford Pinto is a fantastic way of spending $2,995 because I guarantee that no Aventador or 812 Superfast will attract as many eyeballs as this thing. Sure, some people might laugh at it, but if you’re in on the joke, who cares? Long live bad taste, especially when it’s so questionable that it wraps around to be positively awesome again.

(Photo credits: Facebook Marketplace)

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