You know what’s fun about having a brain? Other than the way it sloshes pleasingly around in your head when you nod really vigorously? Ideas. All the ideas! Those little sparks of insight and creativity that make the world go around – man, I love ideas. I especially love terrible ideas, because they’re like ideas, but, you know, awful. So now I want to know about your best worst ideas! For cars!
The only criteria here is that these must be terrible ideas that are also, somehow, fantastic. I know it’s a fine line to walk, but I believe it is possible. Some revolutionary concept with some sort of massive Achilles’ heel, some debilitating detail, a jelly donut of perfection but with a large vole living in it. You get the idea.
I think one of my best worst ideas is one that has to do with vehicle controls. I first came up with the concept when I was imagining how I thought maybe a submersible was piloted, but it adapts just fine to cars:
The part here that I think is the best worst idea here is the buttock-wedge-actuated brake. A buttocks-squeezable wedge would leverage the body’s natural instinct to clench the buttocks when tense or nervous or in a state of heightened alert. The buttock wedge would allow for faster reaction times for braking, which could save valuable seconds that could be the difference between life and death.
Really, this could save lives!
Of course, there’s a downside, too. Comfortable use of a buttock-wedge brake likely requires pantsless operation (or at least assless chaps) and many drivers aren’t willing to make that level of commitment, even in the interests of safety. Also, changing drivers likely should require a quick wipe-down with a rag or wipe or something, and that’s an extra step many drivers aren’t willing to undertake.
That’s my best worst idea; I suspect you have ideas that are even better and worser, and I very much want to hear them! So have at it! Give me your best-worst!
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A manual transmission car that can switch to auto for traffic or city driving. But you know without adding 500 lb somehow…
35 years late, but a fiberglass-and-glass-window wagon conversion for the Dodge Shadow/Plymouth Sundance. It would be along the lines of the one offered for the Nissan Pulsar NX but would allow you to have a full-fledged 5-door wagon as well as a 3-door “lifestyle” one, depending on which Shadow/Sundance body style you started with.