There are some cars that are almost universally loved: the Mazda Miata comes to mind, as does the original VW Beetle. They may not be your cup of tea, but you still can’t actually dislike them. But then there are cars that it seems nobody likes, sometimes not even their owners, and that’s what we’re going to spend this week looking at. It’s time to give some long-despised cars a second chance, starting with these two.
Last week was a strange one because I was working through a vacation, so today I have to report on the results from both Thursday and Friday. And something interesting happened: the Pontiac Firebird won its Showdown against an Olds Cutlass convertible pretty handily, then it proceeded to come in dead-last in Friday’s four-way shootout. But there wasn’t much of a gap between second and fourth place on Friday; the Corvette pretty much ran away with the vote, and left the others to fight over the scraps.
I think for my money, that Vette is probably the most interesting choice there. I’m not a huge fan of the 4+3 transmission; I’d rather have the later six-speed manual, but then so would everyone else, which drives up the prices of them. This is a good spec for the price, and brakes on a C4 should be a straightforward affair, even if you have to replace calipers and lines.
All right, let’s go visit the Island of Automotive Misfit Toys. But first, I have to get something off my chest quickly: It bothers me a little bit when I feature a car and many of you comment that it’s “complete garbage,” that it has no redeeming features, that it should simply be crushed and forgotten. I don’t think that’s true of any car. The amount of engineering prowess and manufacturing might it takes to build even a short run of cars is worthy of respect, even if the end product isn’t everything it could be. Nobody sets out to design shitty cars; nobody works a factory floor and intentionally puts stuff together wrong (at least, not if they want to keep working there), and nobody is trying to put one over on the consumers by selling a car they know to be crap. Everyone involved, from the product planner who sits in focus groups listening to what consumers want, to the line worker who torques the head bolts to spec, to the graphic designer who lays out the brochures, believes that they’re making a good car. They have to, or the car wouldn’t get made at all.
So let’s cut these cars a little slack, OK? They deserve to be on the road as much as anything else. Let’s check them out.
2007 Dodge Caliber SXT – $1,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter DOHC inline 4, CVT automatic, FWD
Location: Bridgeview, IL
Odometer reading: 300,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
To understand why the Dodge Caliber was such a letdown, you have to look at its place in the history of Chrysler’s compacts. First came the Dart and Valiant, which lasted for fifteen years and were beloved by nearly everyone. They didn’t do anything brilliantly, but they did everything well enough. Then came the Omni and Horizon twins, dull but effective little mileage-makers that were redeemed by comfortable seats and the existence of the GLH model. Next came the Shadow and Sundance, the last hurrah of the K-based architecture, and they didn’t exactly set the world on fire either. But then came the Neon. And it was a tough act to follow.
The Caliber, introduced in 2007, was everything the Neon wasn’t: dull, clunky, and hideous. It was a hatchback, which made it more versatile than the Neon, and it was available with a hot turbocharged engine, a six-speed manual, and all-wheel drive, but it still felt like a step backwards. You could say it was a worthy successor to the Omni and Horizon, but only if you forget the Neon existed. This one doesn’t have AWD or a manual transmission; instead, it has an efficient but joy-sucking CVT driving only the front wheels. You can’t say it hasn’t earned its keep, however. This car has 300,000 miles on it and is still going strong.
It looks well-kept for having so many miles on it, but we have no way of knowing what’s under those seat covers. I think I’d try peeking underneath, though, just to see, because the red and gray two-tone upholstery is the most interesting part of this interior. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of Rubbermaid-grade plastic. This was not a great era for Chrysler interiors.
Before you ask: No, I have no idea why the seller chose to photograph this car with all four doors and the hatch open. I’ve seen it before, of course, but usually there’s a shot or two of it with everything closed as well. This makes it harder to tell its overall condition. The good news is that even though it’s in the Chicago suburbs, it wears South Carolina plates, so chances are it hasn’t been bombarded by road salt its whole life.
2015 Mitsubishi Mirage – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.2-liter DOHC inline 3, CVT automatic, FWD
Location: Chicago, IL
Odometer reading: 126,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
The sixth-generation Mitsubishi Mirage was sold in the US for ten years, and for all that time, it was the car world’s whipping boy. Nobody (except Jason) professed any love for this car at all, and yet, you see them all over. I saw one just today in a parking lot, absolutely beat to hell, but still fighting the good fight. It seems like every time I see one on the freeway, it’s going ninety miles an hour, weaving in and out of traffic like Max Verstappen trying to make up for a bad pit stop. People use the ever-loving shit out of these cars, and they just keep coming back for more, and that deserves some respect.
The Mirage’s tiny three-cylinder engine was available with two transmission choices: a five-speed stick or a CVT. This one has the CVT. It may not be as engaging as shifting gears yourself, but it’s efficient. This Mirage used to be rented out through Turo, which means it has suffered who knows how many enthusiastically abusive drivers, but even after 126,000 miles of such abuse, it still runs great.
However many butts have filled this car’s driver’s seat, it remains in good condition. It has a little wear, but no real damage, and it looks like it has been kept clean. I guess that’s to be expected if you’re renting it out on Turo. The seller doesn’t mention any broken stuff, but the usual rules apply: push all the buttons before buying and make sure they do what they’re supposed to do.
Looking at the exterior, you can tell this car has seen some action. It’s got dents and wrinkles all over. That seems to be a common state of affairs for Mirages; the one I saw today had one side of its rear bumper held on by duct tape. If this keeps up, there won’t be a single Mirage left that isn’t damaged in some way, and no one will remember what they actually looked like new.
These cars may have been hated when they were new, and they may not have a lot of fans these days either, but you can’t say they haven’t delivered. Three hundred thousand miles is an achievement for any car, and rental use is hard on anything. Yet both sellers say these cars are ready for more. Dislike them all you want; they’re just going to keep doing their thing for their new owners, who will frankly be getting them for a song. Which one would you pick? And remember, “neither” is not an option.
I’ll take the Caliber because, while it’s a shitbox, it’s a familiar shitbox. I worked on these as a quality engineer at Chrysler when they came out, and I spent a lot of time in them. Chrysler’s terrible, terrible interiors of the era were something to behold.
I had a bright-orange rental Caliber for a few weeks when my 190k mile Legacy GT ate a timing belt idler.
Despite driving around in something that was (by comparison) new, it was pretty bad. The styling was atrocious, the gas mileage unimpressive. Worst though was the interior quality – I managed to slice my hand (to the point of bleeding) on a sharp piece of steering wheel trim. The only good experience I had with it was that we managed to haul a recliner to the thrift store in the back, so points for utility.
Every Mirage owner I have talked to loved theirs.
Every Caliber owner I knew hated theirs.
My God Mark are you that mad about working on your vacation and coming back that you would do this to us? Your adoring fans, well until today. What was the thinking process?
1. Let’s look on the area of the country that is on top of destroying cars.
2. Let’s pick the worst available cars.
3. Let’s pick one that will run almost forever that has already at forevers doorstep
4. Pick another that was run through the worst car existence a rental car but that didn’t have the maintenance and care of a regular rental car.
And finally let’s make sure they have the trope of every banger runs and looks great. As reliable as my yes answer to my beloved mother asking for the 20th time if I had taken out the trash.
If you take a corner in a Mirage on all four wheels, you’re doing it wrong.
Sure, the Caliber is related to my Lancer (yikes), but Little Mitsu all the way, babyyyyyy. It’s just a shame that it’s not a manual one!
My aunt went from a ’96 Intrepid ES with the 3.5L (a car I loved) to a ’09 Caliber SXT with the 2.0 and CVT (an car.) It was such a depressing downgrade.
It’s the mileage. Mirage of course. That Caliber looks great for 300,000 though. I’ve driven a Caliber and it was a chore. I appreciate your defense of unloved autos. Motivate and let motivate.
I wanted to show the hated Caliber some love, because I did have a pretty decent experience with a rental that got us from Denver to Santa Fe and back without too much whining from my passengers. We all agreed it was ugly, and the engine was buzzy, but as space-efficient conveyances go, it was ok.
But 300K AND a CVT? And beat-to-crap seats?
Fuhgeddabouddit. I’ll take my chances in that lovable little Mitsu, even though it too has a CVT. I think we’ll be seeing those wee scamps for quite a few years.
I can’t imagine what would get me to vote for a 300,000 mile Dodge. This Mirage sure isn’t it.
A Cummins, which this doesn’t have!
Woah Mark! Aren’t you the one that calls this place Shitbox Showdown? I do think there are cars that have been produced that are not worthy of fasteners or fuel.
Ironically, however, I came here to vote for and defend the Mirage. I’ve never actually driven one, but I can respect the cheapness and usefulness of it. It always bothered me how the media accused it of being unsafe in crashes and a death trap. Not everyone can afford a Mercedes S Class or Cadillac Escalade. I’m sure when new, the Mirage was safer than many used cars that intersected with its price range.
Again, I don’t want either one, but it’s a no-brainer and I chose the Mirage. Less than half the miles and at least it’s Japanese in spirit, if not in origin (I think they’re made in Thailand, where most of Toyota’s Hilux Champs are made). It’s almost a bit cute even.
Tough choice because they’re both good choices—no one WANTS them, but at these prices they’re OK by me. Gotta go with the Caliber because it’s clearly blessed by some higher power.
I’d expect both cars to be unenjoyable to drive, but I trust virtually anything Japanese over virtually any Chrysler, so Mirage
Caliber. If I’m this hard up, I’m getting something I can also sleep in.
The Caliber may have been one of the last cars available with manual crank windows. I know this because back in the day, a friend rented the cheapest thing he could get from Enterprise and got a base Caliber with manual windows. Four of us piled into the car including the driver’s 16yo kid. The kid told us his rear window did not roll down. I tried mine and it rolled down. He exclaimed, “That’s how to do it‽” and then proceeded to roll his window up and down a dozen times. It was like watching an orangutan learning how to use a new tool.
The Spark was available with them all the way until the end in 2022!
Thanks that was a great laugh after a long day
I guess the Mi-rage. I’ve driven these and they’re ok, good on gas and that’s about it. I just can’t on a white Dodge Caliber. It was like a car being released where it was built by committee and everyone got a vote on something to include (like a wonky Thanksgiving dinner) But props to any car that gets to 300K. That is impressive.
So kind of like a covered dish buffet where everyone brings a dish?
Yeah, and when we uncover our dishes, everyone has brought some kind of jello+meat surprise dish to eat. Plus Aunt Blanche’s Lima Bean pie for dessert.
Not all rental drivers are abusive. I never was. And I rented a bunch. Like at least twice a month for 12 years.
I didn’t like all of them, but I never took it out on them either. Just get me to where I need to be.
Actually, I think rental cars should have the gizmo that tracks driving patterns to get a discount on my insurance and then the rate you pay is based on the way you drive it. I would probably get the cheapest.
Anyway, Mitsubishi for my vote today.
I think most people generally don’t abuse their rentals, and use them as temporary personal transportation. Even if i have something a bit spicier like the one time I got a Challenger R/T Scat Pack as a free upgrade, I don’t mess with them. I may have given it a bit more gas than needed once or twice to see what those 485 ponies could do, but it wasn’t anywhere near the level of abuse.
It takes only a small percentage of people out to prove something, get their kicks in, etc. to mess up a rental car by constantly abusing it in various ways.
I think the spiciest rental car I ever got comes down to a contest between a Chevy Impala or a 6-cylinder Mustang convertible in Hawaii.
The most fun rentals I’ve had are a contest between a diesel 307 Peugeot and a diesel Fiat Croma wagon. They were both a lot of fun to drive.
What makes you think the rental company is not already doing the surveillance?
They may well be doing that. But if they are, I think they would benefit from being transparent and cheerful about giving, say 10% off with something on the invoice to the effect of “thanks for not abusing our car.”
Back in the late 80s, I did play around with handbrake turns in a loaner Civic from the Honda dealership where I was having work done on an ’86 Accord which decided to eat its own AT. I was glad I bought the extended warranty on that one.
Man, I disappear for a few months and I finally get to miss a vote on a Fiero.
Anyway. Mirage. I’ll take the rough exterior for that pretty okay interior.
The Mirage is fine to flog a little more.
For reliability and mileage reasons alone, the Mitsubishi Mirage gets my vote.
And I have to wonder… how many transmissions did that Caliber go through to get to that mileage? Or was the owner ultra-vigilant with the maintenance?
Dodge sales rep; “OK, what color of Caliber did you want?
Buyer: “None.”
Dodge sales rep: “So… white?”
Buyer: “I don’t care.”
“nobody works a factory floor and intentionally puts stuff together wrong ”
Brian Bosworth would like to avoid the chat.
Actually in the 70s and 80s there were many horror stories about car building employees putting marbles in an area before they sealed it, taking a vehicle out for a night of drinking, wasn’t there a motto when discovered a flaw let the dealer fix it under the warranty? For every quality employee there are 3 average and 2 shit heads.