There are some cars that are almost universally loved: the Mazda Miata comes to mind, as does the original VW Beetle. They may not be your cup of tea, but you still can’t actually dislike them. But then there are cars that it seems nobody likes, sometimes not even their owners, and that’s what we’re going to spend this week looking at. It’s time to give some long-despised cars a second chance, starting with these two.
Last week was a strange one because I was working through a vacation, so today I have to report on the results from both Thursday and Friday. And something interesting happened: the Pontiac Firebird won its Showdown against an Olds Cutlass convertible pretty handily, then it proceeded to come in dead-last in Friday’s four-way shootout. But there wasn’t much of a gap between second and fourth place on Friday; the Corvette pretty much ran away with the vote, and left the others to fight over the scraps.
I think for my money, that Vette is probably the most interesting choice there. I’m not a huge fan of the 4+3 transmission; I’d rather have the later six-speed manual, but then so would everyone else, which drives up the prices of them. This is a good spec for the price, and brakes on a C4 should be a straightforward affair, even if you have to replace calipers and lines.
All right, let’s go visit the Island of Automotive Misfit Toys. But first, I have to get something off my chest quickly: It bothers me a little bit when I feature a car and many of you comment that it’s “complete garbage,” that it has no redeeming features, that it should simply be crushed and forgotten. I don’t think that’s true of any car. The amount of engineering prowess and manufacturing might it takes to build even a short run of cars is worthy of respect, even if the end product isn’t everything it could be. Nobody sets out to design shitty cars; nobody works a factory floor and intentionally puts stuff together wrong (at least, not if they want to keep working there), and nobody is trying to put one over on the consumers by selling a car they know to be crap. Everyone involved, from the product planner who sits in focus groups listening to what consumers want, to the line worker who torques the head bolts to spec, to the graphic designer who lays out the brochures, believes that they’re making a good car. They have to, or the car wouldn’t get made at all.
So let’s cut these cars a little slack, OK? They deserve to be on the road as much as anything else. Let’s check them out.
2007 Dodge Caliber SXT – $1,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter DOHC inline 4, CVT automatic, FWD
Location: Bridgeview, IL
Odometer reading: 300,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
To understand why the Dodge Caliber was such a letdown, you have to look at its place in the history of Chrysler’s compacts. First came the Dart and Valiant, which lasted for fifteen years and were beloved by nearly everyone. They didn’t do anything brilliantly, but they did everything well enough. Then came the Omni and Horizon twins, dull but effective little mileage-makers that were redeemed by comfortable seats and the existence of the GLH model. Next came the Shadow and Sundance, the last hurrah of the K-based architecture, and they didn’t exactly set the world on fire either. But then came the Neon. And it was a tough act to follow.
The Caliber, introduced in 2007, was everything the Neon wasn’t: dull, clunky, and hideous. It was a hatchback, which made it more versatile than the Neon, and it was available with a hot turbocharged engine, a six-speed manual, and all-wheel drive, but it still felt like a step backwards. You could say it was a worthy successor to the Omni and Horizon, but only if you forget the Neon existed. This one doesn’t have AWD or a manual transmission; instead, it has an efficient but joy-sucking CVT driving only the front wheels. You can’t say it hasn’t earned its keep, however. This car has 300,000 miles on it and is still going strong.
It looks well-kept for having so many miles on it, but we have no way of knowing what’s under those seat covers. I think I’d try peeking underneath, though, just to see, because the red and gray two-tone upholstery is the most interesting part of this interior. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of Rubbermaid-grade plastic. This was not a great era for Chrysler interiors.
Before you ask: No, I have no idea why the seller chose to photograph this car with all four doors and the hatch open. I’ve seen it before, of course, but usually there’s a shot or two of it with everything closed as well. This makes it harder to tell its overall condition. The good news is that even though it’s in the Chicago suburbs, it wears South Carolina plates, so chances are it hasn’t been bombarded by road salt its whole life.
2015 Mitsubishi Mirage – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.2-liter DOHC inline 3, CVT automatic, FWD
Location: Chicago, IL
Odometer reading: 126,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
The sixth-generation Mitsubishi Mirage was sold in the US for ten years, and for all that time, it was the car world’s whipping boy. Nobody (except Jason) professed any love for this car at all, and yet, you see them all over. I saw one just today in a parking lot, absolutely beat to hell, but still fighting the good fight. It seems like every time I see one on the freeway, it’s going ninety miles an hour, weaving in and out of traffic like Max Verstappen trying to make up for a bad pit stop. People use the ever-loving shit out of these cars, and they just keep coming back for more, and that deserves some respect.
The Mirage’s tiny three-cylinder engine was available with two transmission choices: a five-speed stick or a CVT. This one has the CVT. It may not be as engaging as shifting gears yourself, but it’s efficient. This Mirage used to be rented out through Turo, which means it has suffered who knows how many enthusiastically abusive drivers, but even after 126,000 miles of such abuse, it still runs great.
However many butts have filled this car’s driver’s seat, it remains in good condition. It has a little wear, but no real damage, and it looks like it has been kept clean. I guess that’s to be expected if you’re renting it out on Turo. The seller doesn’t mention any broken stuff, but the usual rules apply: push all the buttons before buying and make sure they do what they’re supposed to do.
Looking at the exterior, you can tell this car has seen some action. It’s got dents and wrinkles all over. That seems to be a common state of affairs for Mirages; the one I saw today had one side of its rear bumper held on by duct tape. If this keeps up, there won’t be a single Mirage left that isn’t damaged in some way, and no one will remember what they actually looked like new.
These cars may have been hated when they were new, and they may not have a lot of fans these days either, but you can’t say they haven’t delivered. Three hundred thousand miles is an achievement for any car, and rental use is hard on anything. Yet both sellers say these cars are ready for more. Dislike them all you want; they’re just going to keep doing their thing for their new owners, who will frankly be getting them for a song. Which one would you pick? And remember, “neither” is not an option.
The Mirage is the winner by default. People hate on it for no reason.
By all accounts, those Mirages are borderline indestructible.
Mitsu used a genius method of making their CVT last: Give it so little horsepower that it can’t possibly do harm.
I’m a sucker for cheap-ass commuter hatches. But only with a stick. This is the perfect “first car” for a teen, though.
Would you rather have a shit sandwich or shit on a shingle? This is a HARD NO. Not even for free, I would still have to register and insure one of these turds. Nope, nada, nyet, no thank you.
I have personal experience of the Caliber. My mother, bless her heart, bought a low miles used one for my brother and SiL. It was an epic turd, with the coup de grace being CVT failure at less than 100K. I am shocked one made it to 300K. I am shocked anyone could stand to be in one that much too. The Mirage is probably far less of a turd, even with the inevitable Turo abuse, but having had the fun of an hour long Uber ride home in one from the airport (lesson learned, Uber XL from now on), absolutely never again. I do not need to subject myself to such a crapcan ever again.
In a former life I was a delivery boy for a parts shop (I can definitively say I was never given a Lightning to do so). We had a Caliber we used for longer trips that I only never had to use once, when our Ranger was broken.
Between the slow throttle response, the peaky engine delivery and the horrible CVT, you could put your foot all the way to the floor and let off before the engine actually responded. It was fascinating; and a laughable step back from the 4 speed Neon my great grandfather had had that I drove a couple times.
Mirage cuz the mileage and you could park it in the undersized empty spaces created by lousy parking jobs, door dings be damned! And tires ought to be pretty cheap. What are those, 14″ rims?
I’m more concerned about finding tires for it lol
Mirage. Like the Metro last week it is an honest basic commuter car at a good price.
A. A Dodge car from that generation is never the correct answer.
B. I’ve actually driven a Caliber. No, never would I buy one.
My daughter’s old Avenger cured me of ever wanting to buy another Dodge.I’ll take the Mirage and if it’s a Turd I can just make it disappear.
The Avenger was more Mitsubishi than Dodge. Tough luck for todays vote!
Edit: someone else’s post reminded me that Dodge did an avenger model in the late 00s/early 10s. I honestly completely forgot it existed. Carry on
Maybe it shared a platform or motor but that was most definitely a Dodge electrical system.
Had a Mirage as a one-way rental from Enterprise recently. It was obvious that they didn’t want to part with one of their better cars, so this was the only option. I respected that little car more after being in it for 6 hours. It’s a car for people that just need a car. Got great mileage, I didn’t feel like it was unsettled on the higway, and it was equipped with everything you actually need in a car and nothing you don’t.
That is what they were going for. Basically the cheapest and most basic car you could buy at the time for people that just needed a car to go from A to B.
Take offense all you want but some cars are garbage. I’ve worked in the biz for 30 years now.
“Nobody sets out to design shitty cars”.
Engineers – no. Bean counters – they sure do. Every car is built to a price point and sometimes the bean counters make decisions to that make a vehicle crap.
“Nobody works on a factory floor and intentionally puts stuff together wrong”
This tells me you have never worked in a UAW factory. Some are great, most do an honest day but a few try to through as many wrenches the gears as they can knowing that the union will defend anything they do.
“Nobody tries to put one over on the consumers by selling a car they know to be crap”
My direct relation to this is a short stint as a product manager for a line of UTVs. They were complete and utter crap. Every angry customer got forwarded to my phone line and I had to talk to them and try hard not to say. “Of course it is complete crap – why did you buy it instead of a Kawasaki, John Deere, or Kubota?”
I wasn’t even going to crap on ALL UAW plants, but according to historical lore, Lordstown would have been the pinnacle of people who wanted to intentionally sabotage what they built and screw over the customers who mistakenly bought it.
I went against the majority and voted for the caliber yes has way more miles but a crappy dodge from that era being in that good of shape in the Chicago land area is crazy so I had to vote for it.
Shine on, you crazy diamond!
I am crushed that there isn’t an “I’d rather walk” option.
Props to the Caliber for making it 300K.
A good pair of shoes is cheaper than either. And lots healthier.
I’m going for the Mirage, but only after I visit it in person just to make sure it’s actually there and not one of those things you see in the desert that appears to be some kind of oasis but it’s not really there, it’s just an illusion created by the refraction of light through layers of air with different temperatures and densities.
The Mirage. Perfect for winters here in Wisconsin. Put some good snow tires on it and maybe get out of the driveway without shoveling to go for groceries. Also I must agree with someone above. It is a color, it is red. In fact I would park it in spring and leave the snows on, it’s Wisconsin. We never know when the next snow
I feel like the Mirage will be a nice place to plant my butt, so that’s the choice I’m making. I’ve spent time in a Caliber, and it was fine, so I’d actually test drive both for once, and see which one I preferred.
I know the Mirage that’s eight years newer with over half the miles is the smarter choice but I like my mopars. The cheap plastic interiors don’t matter as much once they reach this price point and the styling is nice to my eyes.
Mirage. It is an honest, hardworking, no bullshit little car. It existed for a very specific purpose at a time when nothing else was willing to step into a role that would only cary the honorific of “cheap”. Not “cheap and cheerful”, just “cheap”. That car put in its service and deserves our respect and our $2000.
To be clear though, I’d offer $1500, and be willing to go to $1750.
The Caliber was a truck-design inspired piece of hyper masculine fuckery made from plastic and lies. It accomplished nothing except being a miserable place to put your ass when you were cursed by ancient deities at the Enterprise checkout counter at Hartsfield-Jackson. It is an affront to style, performance, comfort, and aesthetics.
We’ve found the unicorn: The world’s best built and maintained Caliber, clearly loved by a diligent owner. Like an ugly, ‘special’ dog that lived to old age because of the sheer love, this Caliber deserves a new owner that will do the same into its final days. Three hundred thousand miles! I cannot be that owner, my apathy too high for this model of vehicle I did not enjoy for thousands of kilometres in various bottom feeder rentals.
The Mirage is the opposite, a beast of burden that was loved by no one, yet keeps going on through sheer tenacity. Rental for untold thousands of miles, the grind of life not stopping it.
Mirage. It will be a winter city car. Ol’ tough as nails fears no salt, no destruction wrought by winter. Just keeps on going.
Three HUNDRED THOUSAND MILES on that Caliber is impressive, but I wouldn’t want to bet on it making it another 10k without a major failure.
Gimme the Mirage. At least it’s a color.
City dweller with frequent trip to the valley. Efficient and easy to park + slow car fast fun. Mirage it is.
Neither one does anything for me, but I lean import so I guess the Mirage. Maybe turn it into a rallycross loaner? (Depends on height/width ratio).
The Caliber looks like it has been taken care of, so I’ll make the dubious assumption that it has been well maintained mechanically.The Mirage is a fine city car, but I don’t go into the city much. Caliber it is.
When my kid was about 5, we had a Caliber as a rental car for a few days.
It had crank windows. My kid was absolutely AMAZED by them. “Dad! Check this out!! (Winding up, Winding down. Winding up, Winding down…)
Both are Crackpipe choices today. The Caliber always seemed to me to be Chryslers first attempt at a crossover. it always just felt like a raised roof neon to me. that being said the styling was still a bit too much turn of the century show car clunky. However, it is still way more stylish than the Mirage. I just can’t agree to a 3 cylinder CVT thing at any price really.
Meh or meh? The Mirage does literally nothing for me, probably because I live in a corner of the world where the average car is not taller than me and weighs more than its garage. The Caliber at least looked vaguely interesting when new.
The Mirage makes me smile every time I see one, with its out-of-place twee-ness for this country.
The Caliber scares the [expletive] out of me.