I could never be accused of featuring good, sensible, reliable vehicles in this column, but there are times when I try to. Or at least, I mean to; I start searching with every intention of choosing something someone might actually want to buy, and then something ridiculous catches my eye, and that notion goes right out the window. I start searching for something even sillier to go with it. And that’s how today’s choices came about.
Yesterday’s choices were fairly sensible, or at least they would have been a hundred thousand miles ago. When you get to a high enough mileage, you expect a certain roughness to a car’s condition, and the Toyota Sequoia we looked at yesterday delivered. Its rival, a Volvo 850 wagon with a five-speed stick, had even more miles, but looked a whole lot cleaner. No wonder it won easily.
It’s an easy choice for the Volvo for me as well. One of my neighbors has an 850 wagon in silver, and I’ve been admiring it every time it goes by. It’s a design that has aged very well. I’d happily drive yesterday’s winner.
All right, are you all ready for some bad ideas? No? Tough. Here they are.
1985 Dodge Omni GLH – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.2 liter OHC inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: Mount Clemens, MI
Odometer reading: 94,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well, but suspension needs refreshing
I can’t remember if I’ve told this story here before or not, but here it is anyway: A good buddy of mine had an Omni GLH in high school. He let me drive it a few times. I fell in love with it. He had to sell it after about a year, because the insurance was killing him, and he sold it to That Jackass Who Ruins Everything. You know the type; there’s one in every school. TJWRE proceeded to get drunk and wrap it around a telephone pole, and walked away uninjured, because of course he did. I’ve wanted a GLH of my own ever since, so I could give it the life it deserves.
GLH, of course, stands for “Goes Like Hell,” and while there were certainly faster cars available in 1985, there weren’t many that would make you say “holy crap” and giggle quite the way this one could. It just has no business being as quick as it is, which was kind of the point. And this wasn’t even the fastest version; a year later, Carroll Shelby took the last 500 Omni GLHs and squeezed even more power out of their turbocharged engines, to create the GLHS (“Goes Like Hell, S’More”). This one is “just” a GLH, and thus makes do with a regular 146-horsepower 2.2-liter turbo engine. It runs and drives fine, but it has a little oil leak from the valve cover, and its suspension is tired.
The Omni’s secret weapon was always its front seats; they’re remarkably comfortable for an economy car, and yet hold you in place well enough when the fat sticky tires on the GLH model make their presence known. The driving position is decent, too. The rest of the interior is economy-car-grade plastic, but it works well enough. This one is in decent shape inside, though the seller notes that the fuel gauge doesn’t work, and neither does the sound system.
It has been repainted white, which I don’t remember being a standard GLH color. I only remember black, red, blue, and silver. This one was silver originally, according to the seller. It does have some rust in the lower extremities, but nothing terminal. The hood and front bumper are tweaked a little, which the seller makes no mention of. It looks like it was in a minor accident. It’s not bad, but it’s worth asking about.
2007 Hummer H3 – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.7 liter DOHC inline 5, four-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Odometer reading: unknown; odometer is messed up
Operational status: Runs and drives, but has low compression in one cylinder
Now this is a vehicle I’ve never wanted, though I can understand why some people did. GM’s Hummer line defied all vehicular naming logic by putting larger numbers on successively smaller vehicles. The H1 was a civilian version of the military HMMWV or “Humvee,” the H2 was a full-sized SUV based on the GMT800 truck platform, and this “little” H3 was based on the Chevy Colorado and GMC Canyon, though significantly beefed-up for off-road use.
The seller says this is a four-cylinder, but that’s not correct; the H3 is powered by a five-cylinder engine, which was the optional engine in the Colorado and Canyon. It powers all four wheels through a 4L60-E four-speed automatic. It runs and drives, but it burns a lot of oil; the seller took it to a mechanic who said that one cylinder is low on compression. But it’s obvious from the text of the ad that the seller doesn’t know much about cars, so it’s probably best to do your own diagnostics and find out what’s really going on.
I bet you’re wondering what kind of shape the interior is in. I am, too. The seller declined to include any photos of the inside, but they did include an individual photo of each aftermarket wheel. Check out the ad if you really feel the need to see them.
Outside, it looks–I can’t say “good,” because I think these things are hideous – but clean. The paint on the hood is a little scorched, and the black plastic trim has faded to gray, but it’s presentable. The truck is originally from Colorado, and now resides in New Mexico, so exposure to road salt should have been minimal. I wouldn’t expect to see any rust underneath.
Sure, you could spend $3,500 on a very nice Camry or something. But what fun is that? C’mon, live a little. Take a chance on a scruffy hot hatch from the ’80s, or a mechanically-challenged but flashy SUV. Which one will it be?
Ha ha ha ha ha…a Hummer vs…an Omni? Normally, at this point I would say I voted for the H3 since I’ve never liked the Omni’s as much…but this site has made me grow fond of them (& K cars) some, but not a lot. The deciding factor that had me vote GLH was that the Hummer has engine problems (plus these were all about looks and being flashy more than capability) I’ll still take the other kind of hummer ha ha. I’ll have a ton of fun driving a slow car fast, like you said these are not as slow as others cars were. I’ll…Go Like Hell!
As soon as I saw the GLH in the title I ran here to mash the vote button. How cool would that be to have?
I was going to say the Hummer until I read the description, sounds like you’d be buying A Problem. The Omni looks fun even if it needs a little work here and there!
Buy the gm based fire engine brush truck thing going on behind the h3.
I believe that h3 suffers from a common problem in Colorado the wheels get wider and sidewalls get thinner then start hitting curbs and crashing and being extra slow because they don’t fit. Then when you are sick of seeing this vehicle do stupid things it crashes in ditch trying to get to a field because it’s 4×4 but gets stuck. Oh sometimes the shock or shock reservoir comes off so the driver will come out to check and zip tie it back into place. Very common.
OMG, I want that GLH sooooo bad. The only better 80’s classic for me would be a BRAT in similar condition and $$$.
Nothing is as ridiculous an idea as a Hummer. Omni, obviously.
Omni GLH any day and every day over that Hummer.
Omni GLH any day and every day over
thatany Hummer.FIFY
Omni GLH any day and every day over
thatany Hummer from GMFTFIFY
fair
Easy one for me today, GLH to the vote button.
Voted GLH.
But also, Fire Truck > Hummer
I know that $3500 is the new $1750, so Goeth Like Hell I must.
Hummers are the least-missed things on the road I can imagine.
Not EVEN close to a positive opinion on the HUMMER
I saw the headline and knew it was going to be Omni. I read the article and any doubt went away. That H3 was awful when it was new and hasn’t gotten better. That seller makes me nervous and I don’t think a basket case H3 is a good buy at any price point.
The Omni looks like a stellar base for a “replace all wear items” restoration like he suggested in the Project Krassler update article. The Omni is neat enough that it’d be worth pushing a little further into rust repair and a new paint job back to factory. For now, it would bring some joy in an surprising package.
Surprised its not more one sided – GLH 100/100 times
Two vehicles I’ve never wanted to own, but both of which have some sort of appeal. Of course I picked the Dodge. If the Hummer’s engine was fine, it might have given the Omni a run for its money, but barely.
Omni GLH’s could also be had in gold, which was the color of the one that was present at a local Cars & Coffee last weekend.
My vote? GLH without reading a single word. This is kind of a weird Showdown, TBH. The two featured vehicles could not be more different. I have a feeling very few people will have trouble deciding, as few people would find both appealing.
If an H1 was a semiautomatic, tacticooled version of a military rifle, the H2 was the airsoft version and the H3 was a Nerf toy. On the other hand, ’80s Hot Hatches are always cool, no matter how many Prii could outdrag them. Turbo ones even cooler.
80s hot hatches used to be known for infinite wheelspin while accelerating, especially the Omni. I would love to see what kind of 0-60 times a bone-stock GLH lays down when it’s wearing a set of Pilot Sports.
I had a change to drive an H3 offroad. It was great. But… this H3 isn’t a stick, so Omni ftw.
“It does have some rust in the lower extremities, but nothing terminal”
I’m seeing what looks to my untrained eye to be a lot of flaky rust under the lower lip of the hatch.
Easy pick for the GLH. Ever since I read an article in Collectible Automobile eons ago about the ridiculous GLH, I’ve been smitten. Ol’ Shel getting his mits on the humble Omni and doing what he does best results in a car infinitely more interesting than the H3. I’d not only buy the Omni, but put resources into it to get it fixed up, while the H3 is useful only as a winter beater.
“I’d not only buy the Omni, but put resources into it to get it fixed up”
Would that include s’more tuning? Or better yet a DOHC 2.2 Turbo III transplant out of a Spirit R/T?
I was thinking just addressing worn parts, but could you imagine 224 hp in an Omni? It might end up being basically undrivable, but probably a hoot (until you ended up in a ditch).
Sort of a poor man’s 911 turbo
Those Hummers are the biggest pieces of junk and parts are quickly becoming NLA.
The Omni looks exactly like the one I drove eastbound cross country with a dorm buddy while we were alive duty USAF in spring of 1988.
So yes – white was a standard color.
I’d take the Omni – but I would not drive it across the country again.
Voted Omni. Didn’t even read. No contest.
I voted for the Hummer.
The H3 is the least objectionable Hummer. That isn’t high praise, but I would feel comfortable driving an H3 with tinted windows, whereas I would need tinted windows and a bag over my head to feel comfortable driving an H2. Although, while this vehicle may have negative cool points, it is reasonably utilitarian – it can haul a lot of stuff, tow moderately heavy trailers, and go off road. This one has engine issues, but I suspect it could be driven as-is for quite a while. It might even be worth repairing, assuming the interior is in decent condition.
The GLH is a more interesting vehicle, but I doubt it is any more reliable than a moderately broken H3. I’m sure parts aren’t easily found for this vehicle. Also, let’s be realistic here. This is a sporty version of a terrible ’80s econobox. Praising the performance of this car is like praising the sumo wrestler that can run the fastest 5k.
Sure, it beats expectations, but only because expectations were extremely low. I will give this car bonus points for the red interior and proper number of pedals, but other than that, I don’t see much appeal to this car. I wouldn’t shed a tear if I saw this car sent to a crusher.
Also, commenters here are usually paranoid about rust. This is an old Michigan car that is rusty despite a recent paint job. Why are y’all panicky about rust for 10 year old midwestern vehicles but giving this thing a pass?
BOOST is the answer. I wouldn’t buy it for 3500 but it would be way more fun than a beaten to death H3.
I would just like to point out that the GLH is slower than a current generation Prius.
It may be slow, but at least it has turbo lag and torque steer, I guess?
The lag and torque steer are what makes it exciting….hold on tight to the wheel and hope the juice kicks in soon so you dont get rear ended now that you jumped out into traffic.
You can’t turn up the wick on a Prius with a vacuum bleeder screw tho.
True. I guess Prius owners unhappy with their 7 second 0-60 times will have to console themselves with 60 mpg and exceptional reliability.
The advantage still goes to the Prius.
Can’t disagree, but most people enjoying older cars are not doing so for modern performance levels, fuel economy, or reliability. Objectively, newer cars are better in almost every way.
I like driving classic pickup trucks and air cooled VWs, so I understand vehicles can be fun without being objectively good.
I am mostly puzzled by the degree of enthusiasm for the Omni. The Omni was a car you drove because you had to drive something. I see it as equivalent to vehicles like the Ford Ecosport or Kia Rio – I have a hard time believing anyone will be fawning over above average examples of those in 40 years. I know the GLH is the fancy performance version of the Omni (which I admit makes it somewhat interesting), but it is still a freakin’ Omni – a “meh” vehicle like many other cars forgotten by enthusiasts.
I can usually understand why people like a car that I am not interested in, but I don’t get this one.
I owned two Omni GLHs back in the early 2000s. I’m an ’80s kid and remember when these truly were hot hatches of their time, I’m a huge fan of sleepers, especially factory ones, and anything with a Carroll Shelby connection has an additional cool factor. Those were my reasons. Back then I would regularly beat up on new Mustangs at the drag strip. 20 years later and pretty much all cars are much quicker now.
I now have another highly modified boxy ’80s car with 3X the factory horsepower, but it’d still easily get smoked by any Tesla today. It’s still a lot of fun despite not being all that fast by modern standards.
You can autocross the heck out of the GLH.
Metrics don’t make a car fun. My old 38hp 1972 Mini Cooper was more fun than whatever car you currently own, I promise. I miss it every day.
At this price point, neither of these vehicles is daily driver material, and as much as I dislike rust, the Hummer offers me absolutely nothing, at the cost of an engine rebuild. One is a rusty example of a fun car that’ll probably break later, the other is a rust-free example of a lobotomized truck that’s already broken.
If the choice is between rebuilding an engine for the privilege of driving an ugly, slow SUV and driving the wheels off a rusty hot hatchback that’s ready to go, I know which short-term experience I’d rather waste my money on.
The ad says the bad cylinder has 75% compression. I’m not sure this engine needs to be rebuilt immediately. It could last a while, assuming you check the oil. Plus, this vehicle is priced $2,000 below KBB value. Given the engine may last a while, the $2k discount might make this a reasonable deal. I could see this being a decent daily driver.
As for the GLH, “hot” hatchback seems like an overstatement. Lukewarm or tepid hatchback seems more realistic.
Did I mention it is slower than a damn Prius?
The GLH did 0-60 in 7.5s which was quite respectable for its day and is much faster than any but the latest AWD Prius (even that’s pretty close). If that’s not enough for you do what Shelby did and give it S’more.
It’s also way faster than mall crawler it’s up against here.
The sources I found say an ’85 GLH did 0-60 in ~9 seconds with the GLH-S anywhere from 6.5 to 7.5 seconds.
Almost every modern review of the GLH says some variant of “it was fast compared to other ’80s econoboxes.” I have a hard time getting excited about a car that is only good when compared to cars that are truly terrible. Saying the Omni is good compared to other ’80s econoboxes is like saying chlamydia is good compared to other venereal diseases.
Let’s be realistic – this car only appeals to people with ’80s nostalgia. It is worth acknowledging that people like this car for reasons other than it being a good or appealing car. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
However, for those who are unbiased by nostalgia, this car has almost no appeal. The H3 likewise has almost no appeal, but at least it is useful.
I found something a bit different:
“The Omni GLH had 146 hp and 170 lb-ft of torque, paired with a five-speed manual and front-wheel drive. It also went on a diet and, as the model weighed in at just over 2,200 pounds, delivered great performance for that era. You could get to 60 mph in about 7.5 seconds”
..
The GLH-S had an even beefier version of the turbo 2.2-liter, with an intercooler, that pushed out 175 hp with 175 lb-ft of torque. Now, you could get to 60 mph in 6.7 seconds”
https://carbuzz.com/dodge-omni-shelby-tuned-racer/
Maybe those ~9s are for the regular 2.2L Omni?
“Let’s be realistic – this car only appeals to people with ’80s nostalgia”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some people might like that 80’stastic bordello red interior.
I found the 9 second times referring specifically to the ’85 with the ’86 being reported as slightly faster. Maybe there were some model year changes? It is also possible the sources I found are wrong. Either way, I’m not overly enthusiastic about this car since acceleration appears to be its selling point and it would lose a drag race to almost anything sold today.
I agree there is nothing wrong with people liking this car due to ’80s nostalgia. I just happen to have absolutely zero ’80s nostalgia, so this car isn’t for me. I like the red interior for some reason, though.
This might explain it:
“Horsepower of 1984 Dodge Omni
The 1984 Dodge Omni GLH was equipped with a 110 horsepower (82 kW) 2.2 L “high-output” I4 engine. Additionally, for 1985 and 1986, a higher performance option was available with a 146 horsepower (109 kW) 2.2 L Turbo I I4 (GLH-T).”
https://www.ahgautoservice.com/how-much-horsepower-does-a-1984-dodge-omni-have/
I found the regular 2.2 was rated at 93 hp and got the base Omni to 60 in 10.3s so 60 in ~9s with 110 hp sounds about right.
That makes sense. I could see a 110 hp model around 9.0. For reference, a car and driver test of an ’83 GTI with 90 HP and slightly less weight than an Omni recorded a 0-60 time of 9.7 seconds. Mid 7s seems right for an Omni with 146 hp.
(Deleted when the convo answered the discrepancy.)
Many things are slower than a Prius, modern cars are pretty damn quick. The GLH is blistering-hot compared to anything else from its time, including some of the best hot hatches of all time, such as the Mk1 Golf GTI. A 1985 Alfa Romeo GTV6 is also slower than a Prius (and slower than a GLH), for reference. I don’t think anyone’s accusing a Prius of being more enjoyable to drive than a GTV6 or a Mk1. There’s also a lot to be said about 1985 tires compared to modern ones, especially with front-wheel-drive cars.
I don’t think the KBB is a very human way to judge a hooptie purchase, market price doesn’t affect ownership experience unless you’re planning to flip the vehicle for a profit, which is hardly the point here.
If you’re willing to daily drive a vehicle with low compression and excessive oil consumption, then I guess the Hummer only costs $3500 for a perfectly miserable 2000’s GMT driving experience, albeit stripped of the V8, bed, interior space, strong parts support and cult following.
To be fair, I would be similarly unimpressed if this was a Mk1 GTI or Alfa GTV6. However, I think both of those are nice looking cars and desirable for reasons other than performance. I would vote for either over the H3.
I don’t see any selling point for the Omni other than performance relative to ’80s econoboxes. I don’t see why a car is desirable just because it is better than cars that are terrible. Saying the Omni is good compared to ’80s econoboxes is like saying Jason Torchinsky is tall compared to people with dwarfism. It may be technically true, but Torch is still probably the guy you pick last in a pickup basketball game.
As for the KBB value of the H3, I only bring that up to put the repair cost in perspective. The repair will almost certainly cost more than $2,000, but the $2,000 discount could mean this vehicle is a decent deal even if repairs are necessary at some point. I’m not convinced this vehicle is in imminent need of repair.
Just to be clear, I don’t want this H3. I think it is the better deal of the two vehicles presented today, though.
I think you’re discounting the advantages of cars from the 80’s. They’re very light, with short-ratio gearboxes that enable high-revving fun at legal speeds. 80s steering racks usually outclass the slow, sloppy systems of the 60s and 70s in response, effort and precision, while still offering more feedback than any modern system outside boutique sports cars. These perks usually come at the cost of unacceptably low performance, but the GLH, being so fast relative to cars of its time, can actually still keep up with traffic today.
I won’t disagree that the Hummer fits more stuff in it, but it would be far from fair to discount the utility of a 4-door hatchback.
That said, the GLH gets pretty awful fuel economy, so it wouldn’t really cost a lot less to run, but I think every moment I spent operating a Chevy truck without a V8 would be depressing at best, whereas I can extract some joy from the little hatch.
I was in high school when the Omni was available new, and for the time, it really wasn’t that terrible. The front seats are comfortable, and even at 6’5″ I could sit in the back comfortably. It generally got people where they needed to go. Also, I’ve driven a GLH-S Omni that one of my former managers used to have.
That being said, I’ll take the Hummer. Yeah, trim and body parts may be getting hard to find, but the drivetrain is all GM.
Good
Luck
Humans
The GLH is mine.
Easy choice.