It’s natural to want to talk up a vehicle you’re trying to sell, and to minimize its faults, but I get amused when I see ads that go way over-the-top with praise, and gloss over some major shortcomings. Today’s choices have such ads. Hopefully you find them as entertaining as I did.
Yesterday we looked at two coupes in need of some help. I thought you all might have some more sympathy for that wrecked Acura, but apparently not – the only place that car was going to find sympathy, as my Uncle Bill would have said, is “in the dictionary, somewhere between shit and syphilis.” (Yes, he was, in fact, quite a character.) The Javelin won, I think in part, by default. Not trashed was all it needed to be.
I’m fully on Team Javelin here. I really like the second-gen Javelin’s styling, and the fact that it’s the fancy SST model with a six and an automatic tickles me. I wish you could still get options on cars ala carte like that. It made for some fun combinations.
Writing a classified ad for a car, if you give a damn about it, is hard work. You don’t want to be too long-winded, or no one will read it, but you still want to hit the points you think are important. You want potential buyers to get excited about it, but you also want to be honest about its condition. Sometimes, though, sellers go a little too far in talking up a vehicle, and the resulting ads can be humorous. Are they also persuasive? That’s up to you to decide. Here they are.
1982 Ford F100 XLT – $4,900
Engine/drivetrain: 4.9-liter OHV inline 6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Two Rivers, WI
Odometer reading: 95,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Ford’s F-series trucks are available in a dizzying array of configurations, so some confusion about which version is which is to be expected. But while using a heavier-duty truck for light work is simply wasteful, overloading a lighter-duty model can be dangerous. The seller of this F-100, a basic half-ton light-duty truck, is under the impression that it can haul as much as 3,500 pounds in the bed. That’s close to three times its rated capacity. Furthermore, they say that the aftermarket receiver hitch installed can handle 6,000 pounds, which is true for the hitch, but if the truck can tow that much, I’ll eat my hat.
This F-100 is powered by Ford’s legendary 300 cubic inch inline six, fed by a one-barrel carburetor – a tough engine, but a powerhouse it is not. I’ve driven a number of Ford trucks equipped with this engine, and they can barely get out of their own way. This one has a C6 three-speed automatic, which is a good stout transmission, but everything has its limits, and I’m afraid that if you push this truck as hard as the seller seems to think you can, you’ll find out those limits in a hurry. I have no doubt that it runs and drives well, but I do think that the seller’s claim of being “as smooth as a Cadillac” might be hyperbole.
It’s an XLT model, so it has fancy stuff like carpet and fake woodgrain. The bench seat is covered, but based on the condition of the rest of the interior, I’m hopeful that the cover is there to keep the seat nice, not cover rips and stains. It has a bunch of auxiliary gauges, which are a nice upgrade over the factory idiot lights.
It’s a Wisconsin truck, and that shows in the rear wheel arches – they’re eaten away around the edges. One front fender is a junkyard part, and the rest of the paint isn’t great either. But it’s still solid underneath, the bed looks good, and there’s no sign of rust-through on the frame.
2009 Volkswagen Jetta 2.5 S – $2,150
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5-liter DOHC inline 5, six-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Brighton, MI
Odometer reading: 178,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
You can use a lot of adjectives to describe Volkswagens from a couple decades ago, but “reliable” is not often one of them. Volkswagen’s push upmarket, which added a lot of complexity to its cars, resulted in cars that were excellent to drive, but very fragile and finicky. This Mk5 Jetta is one of the better ones from a reliability standpoint, but at 178,000 miles, the prevailing wisdom is that it’s reaching the end of its useful life. The seller speaks incredibly highly of it, however, saying that it has needed nothing more than basic maintenance and wear items for the past ten years.
This Jetta is powered by a 2.5 liter five-cylinder engine and a six-speed automatic transmission. This engine has a decent reputation, especially compared to VW’s turbocharged four-cylinder engines, but it’s still no Camry. The seller sings the praises of how well this one runs, how powerful it is, and how reliable it has been for them, but I’m always a little leery of claims that a car has “needed nothing” for long periods of time. Is that reliability, or deferred maintenance that’s about to catch up to it?
It’s in very nice condition inside, and the seller says everything works fine, including the air conditioning. It even has heated seats, a nice feature for Great Lakes winters. I think VW had backed off on the crappy soft-touch plastic by this time, too, so it shouldn’t be all sticky inside like the Mk4 Jettas got.
Things aren’t as rosy outside; it has a lot of dents and dings, and the back bumper is toast. Apparently the seller tried to fix some damage to the plastic bumper with Bondo, and, predictably, it is now falling apart. A bumper cover from a junkyard, even if it didn’t match, would look so much better. I don’t see any signs of rust, however, which is impressive for a Michigan car.
These might be every bit as good as the sellers claim, and I hope they are. But I know for certain that Ford truck can’t haul or tow as much as the seller claims, nor is it likely that any VW product was completely trouble-free for a decade. But if you can overlook the hyperbole and wild claims, which one looks like a better deal?
I’ve generally heard good things about VWs with the 2.5, reliability-wise, and everything the Ford’s seller says makes me picture him in a cheap suit with his hair slicked back and a cigar under his ’70s ‘stache.
If my father’s ’96 F-150, also a 2WD regular-cab longbed with a 300 but with an M5OD and fuel injection, wouldn’t break 16 MPG cruising under 60 MPH – granted, it had a cap and some tools in the bed, but nowhere near overloaded as this ’82’s seller suggests – then I find it hard to buy that this one could manage better with any gearing at 70.
Also, the Jetta is cheap, and it’s much bluer. Pending a look at the underbody, it’ll probably be a good first car or cheap commuter for someone.
My uncle was a fan of that saying, too. Anyone buying either of these will need to look there for sympathy, but since had to pick I picked the Ford. Maybe somebody will think it’s retro and make me my money back.
I think I’d just buy a bus pass rather than going with either of these turds. I’ve had enough VWs to not touch anything with that amount of miles, and I used to go girlin’ in an 84 Ford, but at least it was 4×4 and had the three speed manual with granny gear. It barely got out of its own way.
I’m sorry but anyone who knows anything about cars knows that if you had to but one of these logic says VW. For one simple concrete reason, it’s cheaper. Neither of these should be purchased with the idea of using them for anything even close to their original purpose, transportation, so the simple question is do you want to waste a little over $2000 or almost $5,000?
I’m thinking the jetta could be an OK winter car, or maybe a high school student’s car. The truck is a harder sell, because it’s barely a truck power-wise, it’s rusty, the paint is a mess, etc.
$4900 is a lot of money for rust. I would rather waste half that amount. The savings will buy a lot of duct tape.
If I needed a work truck, that F100 looks like a good choice.
Except I don’t need a work truck.
And I have some experience with that VW 2.5L I5… it’s a sweet engine that gets very good fuel economy for the level of power it makes. Would rather have one with the manual, but even with the slushbox, I’d rather have the VW over the old work truck.
So the VW gets my vote.
I was on the jetta’s side until I saw the rear bumper. Anyone trying to fix THAT with bondo is definitely the type to scoff at getting a car repaired
slightly tough choice, generally 1980-1984 ish anything is an automatic no go for me. too many weird attempts at making things efficient/clean tended to make those cars overall just kind of junky.
The Jetta needs a 159 dollar bumper cover, But I do agree the 5 cylinder makes that a much more likely winter beater for me because of price and age. https://www.ebay.com/itm/173744565942
However the Old bullnose is strangely clean in a I am fixing this up but kind of stalled out kind of way.
I think it depends on what you would use these for in this case, I would probably tend towards a winter beater over a somewhat unloved classic. though I do feel like the old 300 six might be worth more than both vehicles to the right builder I suppose. certainly the C6 and 9 inch are not a bad thing either.
Oh and about this:
When is that ever worth hoping for? Shouldn’t one assume that the seat’s garbage if there’s a cheesy cover on it? I say this as a former owner of a cheesy cover.
Yes if the seats are nice logic dictates remove the blanket for the pictures
I’d have no imaginable use for that F150, noble (if comically overpriced) a beast it may be. I swore I’d never buy VW/Audi new ever ever again because of Dieselgate but I guess it’s ok to buy used and maintain my boycott?
I dunno. I voted VW because all it really seems to need for now is a junkyard bumper cover, and the car’s probably drivable enough, and that’s dirt cheap for something that runs.
Ebay cover is painted correctly and only 159
I had an 08 Jetta with the same powertrain and by then the 09G transmission was much better than the early to mid 2000s units. I took that car from 130K to 175K and then drove 1,000 miles to CO and delivered to my dad who owned it for another 3 years. The car was sold with north of 200K and never needed any big mechanical items. Coils is what these are notorious for but they’re easy to replace.
The only thing it let me down is of course electrical gremlins, it needed one instrument cluster replacement and my dad wanted to upgrade the interior lights to LEDs but the car didn’t like it so it blew some fuses and even after replacement it never had the overhead interior lights working again.
Regardless, I’d lean towards Jetta. I just can’t wrap my head about an old, crusty, slow as molases, non 4×4, non-desirable bodystyle but reliable truck that’s being sold for $5K
2012 Passat here with the 2.5, it was a great drivetrain.
I’ll take the truck but damn, $4,900 for that? I’ve found a couple running, driving Fords from that generation around here for $3k or less. Though they may have more miles, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about them so the ones I found may have been a less desirable spec. I’ll be in the market for a cheap truck soon, $4,900 is over budget but with my imaginary Internet money that’s what I would buy.
Besides, I already have one VW from the 21st century, do I really need another? My ex offered to give me his worn out 200k+ mile 2005 Passat and that was an immediate no from me.
The F100 is overpriced, but I have more faith in it than a modern VAG product with that many miles on it. Simplicity is your friend at this end of the market.
The “TIGHT TIGHT STEERING” in the Ford ad is hilarious, because I’ve never, ever driven a single Ford I’d ever describe that way, especially not a 45-year-old truck. Built-in slop was the name of the game from day one.
The hand holding up the Jetta’s headliner is hilarious, too. You took that picture with your phone! It has a “crop” feature!
Ford’s Twin-I-Beam and tight steering just don’t go in the same sentence.
Hold the wheel steady and let the truck bump off the slack…
The only ford of that era I’ve ever drove that didn’t have slack was because I was holding up the slack due to it pulling right. Come to think of it, every ford truck I had would pull, even after alignment
F100 is all the truck that I’ll ever need, hyperbole or not.
The real question I have is why have most of the avatars here changed into Atari 8-bit sprites? Did I miss something??
I think they are both a little high but maybe that market where anything not completely rusty fetches a higher price. The truck scares me a bit because weird things happen when you overload an old truck. The Jetta scares me because anytime I’ve bought a car with that sticker it’s basically been used as a battering ram and this doesn’t look any different. I would probably go Jetta just on price it’s and remembering when you could buy that truck for $500 to $1k now they probably are $3k to $4k.
Based in my 1995 F-150 I think I would agree with the Cadillac assessment. You’re sitting on a cushy bench seat, arm on the backrest, cruising down the road. With no load in the bed, the suspension is soft and floaty on flat level roads. That can certainly describe Cadillac.
The truck is waaaaaay overpriced but I just can’t with the VW.
<—–I’m diggin’ the Space Invaders style Avatar that has been bestowed upon me! 🙂
(I have no doubt that Jason is behind this latest development!) I love it!!
The truck is crazy expensive but the better choice if it checks out with no rust (albeit easy to find better/other examples on marketplace for less). Reliable and industrial powertrain, and ugly enough not to care. That Jetta has a reliable engine, but not much else. After spending hundreds of hours chasing parts, fixing, and trying to keep up with my A4 of the same era (and failing), NFW would I touch a beat up MK5.
A Jetta with the 2.5 5cyl engine will keep driving forever. Everything else will fall apart for VW reasons, but the drivetrain will stay intact and functioning.
My wife had a 2012 with this engine, and put 177k miles on it before someone crashed into her. The car had the usual VW problems, like the start of a falling headliner, and few electrical issues, all the basic German plastic/rubber disintegrating into either nothing or a sticky toffee, but man that engine was strong. I would argue it’s the most reliable thing VW has put into a car since the 80s. It’s also a popular modding engine, so there’s a pretty huge amount of support for it. Pretty much all the turbo engine from this era are garbage, but this one is great.
That said, you have to decide that you’re ok with a pretty big amount of work to keep this thing on the road, and most of it will be electrical. Sure, there’s about a million cosmetic things that will fall apart or just give up, but you’re buying a car for under 3k, you’ve already accepted that this is what your life is going to be. You can find everything you need online, usually made in China, and of a suprisingly good quality at this point.
that’s so true. I’d probably trust VW’s 2.5 I-5 engine more than the 2.slow for the sole reason I will never need to replace timing belts. Otherwise both are neck in neck in reliability, but one is a gutless wonder while the other can at least get out of its own way while sounding decent
I’m usually big on the “you must choose”, but I agree with all of you correctly stating these are both crap. I picked the VW solely because it’s cheaper and the interior looks decent. I’d replace the rear bumper and drive it with basic maintenance until it died, junk it, and never look back.
Asking slightly more than twice what that truck is worth is absolutely bonkers. That said, the Jetta is also a piece of garbage. Ugh. I guess I’ll take the Jetta because it’s cheaper, but boy, this is a tough one.
More and more of these are just too damn shitbox for me.
…OK. the Ford might be a bit steep, bit I’d rather work on it than a watercooled, modern VW.