This week between Christmas and New Year’s is always a weird one. Nobody quite knows what to do with themselves, and time ceases to have any meaning. Which is good for today’s choices, because if you’re going to drive one of them, you had better not be in a hurry.
Yesterday we looked at a couple of SUVs that were cheap because they were only 2WD. A lot of you were impressed with the Ford Explorer’s condition, but concerned about its hit-or-miss reliability record. The scruffier Nissan Pathfinder seemed like a safer bet, and it cruised to an easy win.
Me, I wouldn’t even consider the Explorer with that Pathfinder sitting there. I loved ours. It wasn’t fast, it rode rough, and it got appallingly bad gas mileage, but it felt invincible. This one, with far fewer miles and the newer, nicer interior, looks like a great occasional-use truck to me. It’s a good thing it’s on the other side of the country, actually.
Cars today are really, really quick. Like, stupidly quick. Does a minivan or mid-sized crossover really need to reach 60 MPH in six or seven seconds? No, but a lot of them can. Nobody actually pushes them that hard – as much as you sometimes wish they would, when they’re merging onto the freeway in front of you – but the capability is there.
It wasn’t always that way. Cars from forty years ago were downright leisurely, with 0-60 times in the teens, and nobody really minded that much. The two cars we’re about to look at would be derided as “dangerously slow” by some today, but just on the pokey side of average when they were new. And I’m sure they can keep up with modern traffic just fine, with a little planning ahead. Let’s check them out.
1982 Datsun Maxima Diesel Wagon – $6,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.8-liter OHC diesel inline 6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Hollywood, MD
Odometer reading: 290,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Diesel engines, outside of full-size pickup trucks, never really caught on in America – but that didn’t stop just about every manufacturer from trying them in the 1980s. Some were fairly good successes, like Volkswagen, and others were abject failures, like Oldsmobile. But the vast majority of them were nothing but low-volume curiosities, sold for a few years and then dropped from the option list. These days, when one comes up for sale, it often inspires thoughts like “Huh, I didn’t know they sold a diesel version of that.” And such is probably the case with this car: the original rear-wheel-drive Datsun Maxima.
Some manufacturers, like Ford, bought their diesel engines from someone else, but Nissan kept this one in-house. It’s a version of the same L-series inline six found in countless Z cars. With diesel power, it makes 90 horsepower, which won’t knock anyone’s socks off, but it shouldn’t be as shockingly slow as a Mercedes 240D or a VW Rabbit diesel. It’s mated to a three-speed automatic; the Maxima gained an overdrive gear in the year following this. Despite this, the seller says it manages 38 miles to the gallon. It has a ton of miles on it, but that’s not uncommon for old diesels like this. Those who love them love them, and are loath to let them go.
It looks pretty good inside for the mileage, though I imagine those seats have covers on them because they have seen better days. It looks like it’s absolutely stock inside, right down to the stereo. You kept your cassettes, right? This car is also of the correct age to have been available with Nissan’s talking message center. I wonder if this one has it, and if it still works?
It looks good outside, but there is a little bit of rust starting to show in the extremities. But compared to cars this age in, say, the Great Lakes area, or upstate New York, it’s pretty much pristine. The wire wheel covers are a nice period touch, and they show how far Nissan was willing to go to cater to American tastes with this car.
1986 Chevrolet Celebrity Wagon – $7,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5-liter OHV inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: El Cajon, CA
Odometer reading: 102,000 miles
Operational status: “Just hop in and drive.”
If you were around in 1986, you probably remember that every road, every suburban neighborhood, and every mall parking lot was absolutely lousy with Chevy Celebrities. Chevy’s mid-sized A-body was the best-selling car in the US in that year; this is one of more than 400,000 examples sold. Or maybe you don’t remember them at all. Ubiquity and bland styling rendered them almost invisible. But I bet you rode in one. I know I did. In fact, one of my friend’s moms had a Celebrity wagon exactly like this one.
Powering this box of nostalgia is our old friend the Iron Duke – sorry, Tech IV – four-cylinder, a cast-iron, overhead valve dinosaur from a time when 92 horsepower was enough for a family to get around. What it lacks in alacrity, it makes up for in toughness; these things are hard to kill. And except for being a bit unrefined and noisy, they actually ran pretty well. The transmission is GM’s three-speed TH125C, nothing special, but it works well enough. The seller says this one runs and drives great, and is ready for its new owner.
It’s a blast from the past inside as well, with a bench seat, a column-mounted shifter, and a wide rectangular speedometer that only goes to 85. That’s all right; chances are the car can’t do more than that anyway. It’s all in very good condition, and the seller says everything works. Oh, and from the looks of it, this one has the rearward-facing “way back” seat, as well.
Outside, it’s just about flawless, or as close to it as a 1980s GM product ever got. A few odd panel gaps were just part of the experience back then. It’s got all four factory wheel covers, and nice whitewall tires for the full Reagan-era effect.
I know already that I’m going to get a lot of complaints about the price of these. But I’ll tell you what – today, as a late Christmas present, your fake internet dollars are on me. You can pretend to have either of these you want, my treat. How’s that for a deal?
My folks had a Celebrity or a clone wagon about the time my aunt was getting married and I was newly married. I was the photographer for the simple home wedding. I needed film, so I borrowed the wagon and took my spouse to get some film. I could not get the car started from the shop and it was getting close to wedding time, so I got out of the car and ran to the wedding. I did leave my spouse in the car, in a strange neighborhood, to run the wedding. Did my photo stuff. Spouse did find their way to the house. Later on I figured out why the wagon didn’t start. I hadn’t pushed on the clutch far enough to disengage the safety switch. It might have been an auto, but whatever it was, it was my unfamiliarity that was the problem, not the car. Still voted for it, no diesels here.
My first car was a bronze/brown version of that Datsun. It cost one thousand bussing-table-and-dishwashing dollars in 1994. It was overpriced then so hundreds of thousands of miles more + 30 years should not INCREASE the price. This is madness.
Both are stupidly overpriced, but that Celebrity looks soo good (for a Celebrity, of course).
Both are way overpriced, but given a choice the diesel.
I will take a diesel Datsun any day over an Iron Puke. That Chevy is just a big box of misery all around. now If it was a loaded Eurosport in steel blue with the 2.8 V6, it would at least look cool.
One of my high school classmates had the sedan version of the Maxima. It wasn’t fast, it wasn’t that slow either. And smooth for a diesel.
I’ll take the Chevy and pretend I’m in a John Hughes movie.
Ahhh, the old Low Tech IV…. A 6 cylinder diesel has to be smoother. Nissan it is.
I never knew a diesel Maxima wagon existed. It gets my vote for the novelty factor alone and have it as a weekend/radwood vehicle. I would keep it completely stock and tip top condition.
Also it’s going against an Iron Duke wagon from GM. While that engine was reliable, it was not a fun engine to live with. Plus just compare the interiors… the GM interior has cost-cutting written all over it.
Meanwhile that Nissan has an interior that tells me the company had more pride in their product than GM did.
The Datsun’s style and that tape deck won me over. Maybe it’s one of those diesels that runs after the apocalypse? Not my first choice, but it gets my vote here.
Also, my kid spotted a Celebrity sedan on the road recently and said “check out the classic.” I replied, just because it’s old doesn’t make it a classic. This wagon may be the better vehicle today, but I can’t wake myself up to spend fake Internet dollars on it.
Diesel fumes give me a headache, I’ll take the Celebrity … At about half the asking price though.
Had two celebrity wagons, both with the v6, both indestructible cars that would keep on driving with good gas mileage…I miss those cars
But my celebrity’s were $300, nowadays 3k should be a good price
Mandatory comment: Damn, these are both WAY too expensive.
OK, now that I have that out of the way, I’ll add that both are too wildly compromised for me to want either. “Datsun” and “Maxima” and “diesel” are three words that should not be next to each other. “Chevrolet” and “Celebrity” are two words that can’t be attached to any car I’d own.
I guess I’m going with the Datsun because rarity. I can’t imagine I’d want to ever drive it, though.
Priced too high but for some reason I always liked those Celebrity wagons.Too bad it has a 2.5.My grandma had a 1985 sedan with the 2.8 and it actually ran pretty good.
Had a first year W body with the MPFI 2.8, it was by far the best thing about the car.
Overpriced Celebrity is in great shape, but two family members owned them, and they are so boring. I picked the overpriced Nissan, it’s more interesting but that’s got to be a drag to drive also.
For the sake of the game: Celebrity.
But in reality, absolute crack pipe prices.
My aunt had an ’86 Celebrity Wagon, it was a giant pile of crap. It went through three engines in it’s life, it only had one coat of primer and one coat of color – both of which peeled off. Every time the door closed you could hear the rust falling through the door and out the holes in the bottom. I’m going with the Datsun, just because I know how utterly shit that Chevy is.
OMG NO on that ultra boring Olds wagon.
OMG YES on the mile long intake tube on the diesel Maxima! I’d own that car just to smile curiously at why Nissan chose to drag air across the engine from the opposite side of the air filter.
Voted!
The Celebrity I actually have personal experience with one (was an ‘89 Sedan with the 2.8L LB6 V6, but same interior color as the wagon in question) one of the biggest issues it had was the TCC Solenoid went bad ( and it’s a PITA to replace) which would cause the car to stall when the TCC locked up at 45MPH.
Man these should be $1500 cars. Source: my brain.
We had a Celebrity Eurosport with the 2.8. It was garbage. This being an iron duke may be the only reason its still alive.
I’ll go with the Maxima just for the diesel weirdness (and RWD).
Oh Celebrity EASILY. And if the four banger ain’t enough we LS swap that puppy!
If I were to spend 7k, and end up with a Chevy Celebrity? I don’t know what I’d do. First, I would probably cry. Second… who knows what would happen second. I get that some people are into it for the nostalgia, and look, I at times vote for nostalgia. I am not immune to it’s effects. But these cars suuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk. Please everyone, remember this.
The Maxima would also upset me but at least it doesn’t look like shit, and would probably keep me interested for a little while. Still 3k too expensive though.
My uncle had a celebrity almost identical to this including the color. I was too young to really remember anything specific about it other than that. With that said, I’ll take the Datsun. At least it’s a little bit more interesting.
Both are terrible.
The Max wagon was very under the radar back in the day, a diesel version even moreso – but that doesn’t mean that I like it. I mean, I like the Max of that era just fine – kind of a “not quite BMW” but what the cool parents would drive. Guess I just don’t find diesel to be that appealing in this form. The Chevy (and Ciera) wagon was what were far more popular – it was the car that parents would trade their malaise era ride for and feel like they were part of the new decade. We never had one (Ford family) but plenty of my friends folks did, and I worked on more than a few of these in their various forms. The ‘Duke may be powerless, but it makes underhood access a breeze compared to the 2.8. Going with the Chevy for the 2nd degree of separation nostalgia I guess.
It’s not the Duke’s lack of power that bothers me, it is the overwhelming NHV. IIRC these things gently rock the whole car up and down at idle. The 2.8 and 3.1 were at least smooth (and made nice sounds).
Goot point on the sounds…they were growly, moreso than Fords or MOPARs of a similar ilk.
Having owned both a GM 2.8 MPFI and a Ford 3.0 Vulcan, the 2.8 had all the sounds and feels. Honestly a better drivetrain covered by an otherwise disappointing car, ’88 W-body. My ’91 Sable was the opposite, the only real letdown was the Vulcan.
I should add that I have a soft spot for the A bodies. My first car was a Cutlass Ciera in this same blue. I still remember the loose feeling handles and janky clank of the doors. Mine had the 3100 V6 though, so it moved.
I haven’t driven a car with as little power as this Celebrity in 20 years, when I had an 84 Camry with the 90-something horsepower 2-liter. That engine was smooth and had an extra gear to work with. I’m guessing it weighed substantially less as well. And it was still slow.
It’s more relaxing in some ways. There’s simply nothing you can do to make the car go faster so you stop trying. And it’s amazing the amount of ego you let go of when you cannot outrun anyone else, ever. Sure, you can register disapproval with a honk and a finger, but what do they care? You’re a sad little spec in the rearview, your profanity only makes you look more pitiable.
So, so true and eloquently said about slow cars. All your cares just…go away.