You know the Highlander movies and television shows and whatever? The ones about those immortal people who all seem to believe that there can be only, if my math serves, one? I happened to see parts of the first movie, from 1986, and noticed that the Quickening, a poorly-explained set of phenomena that seems to accompany the death of an immortal by the hand of another immortal, usually via decapitation, is also really hard on cars.
Seriously, the Quickening absolutely trashes cars! I had completely forgotten that the real victims in this movie were the poor saps who unwittingly parked their 70s and 80s iron in the presence of a full-on immortal-on-immortal battle in some nondescript New York parking garage.


Here, watch this fight scene that happens in an underground parking deck:
There’s a good number of interesting cars in that deck, and those two immortals have absolutely zero respect for any of them.
Look up there, tucked in between those GM offerings: that’s a Peugeot 504 there, with Euro-spec headlights as opposed to the quad round lamps most US-spec cars had.
Weirdly, that’s not the only car with Euro-spec lights; look at this Mercedes-Benz 280 SE:
If you can ignore the exploding windshield (more on that soon) you’ll note that this car features the wonderful European lighting units, not what was normally installed on US-market cars.
But we’re here to talk about the considerable damage these immortals cause to cars. First, there’s strange amount of damage a sword strike has on a parked car, far beyond what would happen if, say, you or I whacked a car hood with a sword. Look what happens when immortals do it:
Look at that! Sparks everywhere! There’s some sort of chemical-ish reaction happening there, where the metal-to-metal contact results in some sort of release of energy, demonstrated by all of those luminescent sparks. I’m sure it’s terrible for the paint, too.
But that’s just the start! When this happens:
…when an immortal and their head have their longtime association dissolved and they go their separate ways, the full Quickening happens, which seems to be some kind of energy transfer from the now head-unburdened to the head-removing immortal, which visually seems to resemble a lightning storm, with the lightning arcs traveling over the exterior surfaces of surrounding cars, causing electrical systems to activate:
This is the part that I’m most confused by; how does this actually work?
Cars in a very wide radius around the quickening activate their lights, and starter motors begin to turn, solenoids engage, and the cars start up, even to the point of going into gear, releasing parking brakes and moving forward! How the hell does the Quickening do this?
I suppose the wiring of the cars can act as a conductor of whatever this Quickening-electricity is, and guide it into lighting fixtures and electric motors. Wipers, strangely, didn’t seem to turn on, which surprises me, but parts of cars would explode, like windshields and hoods blowing off:
I think the strangest side effect, though, seems to be how the Quickening affects oil pan integrity:
The camera in this scene makes a point of showing that oil is getting blasted out of the oil pan of one of the cars; maybe the oil filters are getting blasted off? Maybe the oil pans are cracking? It’s not clear, as is the case with most Quickening phenomena, which is still quite poorly researched to this day.
Here’s the takeaway, though: be extremely careful if you park in an area where you suspect immortal activity may be taking place. The Quickening causes severe and perhaps irreparable damage to cars, especially their electrical systems, glass integrity, and oil retention, and that’s the kind of hassle you don’t need.
I’m not sure of the current status of immortals on Earth; is there only one now, as they so often shout about, or is there still a community of them, roaming around, potential threats to vast numbers of cars? Who knows? But, as car enthusiasts, it’s worth always being aware of, and avoiding immortal fights whenever possible.
Stay alert!
Nondescript parking garage ?!?
IT’S MADISON SQUARE GARDEN’S PARKING GARAGE !!!
Come on now ! Watch the movie. There’s even a joke about the guy cutting his own head because of the bad game, during the interrogation scene.
The oil pan business was to illustrate the automotive equivalent of a car shitting its pants.
This, this is why I read the Autopian. What kind of effect would it have on EVs?
This is exactly why The Autopian has the best car adjacent content on the interwebz.
A bit underhookered, but a nice little reminder of the days before New York was drowned under a coat of the cheap, sweaty hair dye of Giulani’s suburbanization program. RIP.
If you’re nostalgic, you can always visit Allentown, that’s where a lot of the criminal element that got pushed out of New York in the 90s resettled
Eh. Smack got gentrified into opioids and pushed nationwide by pharmaceutical companies, porn production mostly consolidated in the San Fernando Valley before fragmenting as part of Web 2.0, and the city’s neighborhood devolution cycle from artists and gays to traders and money laundering has shortened to about twenty minutes. And crime reporting shows that the worst spots are way out in red states and always have been, and who wants that kind of commute?
Its been awhile, but I think I remember at least one car having its windshield wipers going, over a nonexistent windshield
The Quickening does seem to be Cash for Clunkers-level through in making sure cars are absolutely destroyed beyond economic repair
All the glass blows out, oil pans fall out, engines explode, and the sprinkler system floods the windowless interiors
I was always confused that there were so many immortals when, “There can be only one.” Do they reproduce and fail to eat their offspring? Do they spawn from the aether? Maybe they come from the coalescence of various automotive materials that absorb quickening juice?
Over four minutes. Amateurs. The Rabbit of Caerbannog would have had that head off in one leap.
Run away!
ME: I need to file a claim.
State Farm: This is Jake, but not really.
ME: My car was destroyed during an immortal fight in a parking garage.
SF: We don’t cover that.
ME: OK then, it was a Michael Jackson video.
SF: Oh, why didn’t you say so? That’s covered.
Our daughter is almost 20 years old, so she’ll only be immortal for a limited time longer.
So far, so good with regards to vehicular destruction.
I’m not saying it was aliens…but it was aliens!
Highlander 2 retconned the immortals into aliens from another planet. Like a poster down below, I prefer to only acknowledge the first movie. In addition to the Queen soundtrack, it also has a wonderful score by Michael Kamen.
Highlander 2 can’t exist – there can only be 1!
Brilliant!
I have a suspicion that Highlander 2 was originally written as a completely unrelated movie
I have a suspicion that Highlander 2 was originally not written, but puked. And it went downhill from there.
I’m not saying how I know this but a bar of titanium fashioned into a roughly blade shape (apparently it’s hard to shape titanium with regular hand tools) will make sparks when struck against a car fender.
Titanium knee-sliders make for very entertaining motorcycle racing.
IIRC the sparking sword effect in Highlander was created by hooking the swords up up to car batteries, they ran the cables under the actor’s clothes to hide them.
They’re surrounded by a bunch of European cars and GMs from the 80’s and you’re surprised they’re all having electrical issues? The immortals might not even have had anything to do with it.
Here we are, born to be King Motor Cars,
We’re the Nissan Princes of the universe.
Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers [Lucas electronics], hey!
Now that you mentioned the quickening, I think Keith Richards just gained an extra few years from Ozzy. Who is next for the Immortal Richards…….
How TF is that guy still alive? I mean seriously, the jokes started about 45 years ago.
Yeah, he’s looked nearly dead for longer than I’ve been alive
If General Motors made rock guitarists.
We really need to think about the kind of world we’ll be leaving for him and Willie Nelson.
You are on FIRE!
I stole that one, but love it dearly.
Next year’s big rock tour: Rolling Stones Live! and Keith Richards!
They were so bad. I was just discussing with my girlfriend the other day how these movies need a remake (since that’s about all we get anymore). I love the first couple movies for the popcorn cheese that they are, but this, to me, really feels like a solid premise for stories that could be done so much better.
…but the cars must be destroyed. The Quickening just be like that.
There was only one movie. The sequel never happened. Let’s not speak of it any more
Right? I heard some idiot talking about the TV show, what TV show?
It’s like The Matrix, just a single awesome film. It’s a shame that no sequel was made, because I’m sure it’d be epic.
I’m sure if there was a sequel to The Matrix they’d address to worrying plot hole suggested by the line “…and a kind of fusion” and definitely not have a horribly wooden sex scene that no one wanted.
Sort of related: I’ve always sort of wondered about what happened before Star Wars. I bet those would have been fun films if they ever existed.
and certainly, if they did make 2 more films that were great, they would have made a 4th film many years later and it would be really good too.
too bad they didn’t do any of that.
wait, are we talking about Highlander, or The Matrix?
Both. Singular one-off films that would have had amazing sequels. Like how Aliens is better than Alien.
If we’re talking immortality, it’s a Hilux.
“We present the indestructible 1986 Toyota Hilux…”
“Buy all new 1986 Toyota Hilux…
Because there can be only One”
It’s just a Highlander movie. Let’s not lose our heads over this.
#COTD
The Robot Chicken version with Lindsay Lohan as an immortal, Highlohander, is awesome.
https://youtu.be/izqeNpod6Mg?feature=shared
BTW, Lindsay Lohan is the new Lindsay Lohan, and good for her.
IMDb knows: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1235529/
Will be interesting to see how EVs handle the quickening. I expect an updated version of this article after the remake releases. A comparison of quickening damage between 70s/80s cars and 21st century cars should be essential reading.
It’s my favorite movie about a French Guy playing a Scottish Guy mentored by a Scottish Guy playing a Spanish Guy.
With a soundtrack by Queen, and the villain voices Mr Krabs!!
But Ramírez was originally born in Egypt so it’s a Scottish guy playing an Egyptian who is cosplaying as a Spaniard!
Yup. He was in Spain because that was the most powerful country of that time period.
Ahem, Shpanish.
Actual lols, plural, and thanks!
well said.
A Scottish guy who makes absolutely Zero attempt to change his native (famously) Scottish accent to boot.
Even as a small kid when 1st watching the original Highlander (only one worth watching), this fact always made me laugh
That is a meticulously curated collection of early/mid-’70s iron, including some deep cuts. A ’74 Buick Century! (Had to do a little sleuthing to place that shadowy face) When did I last see one of those?
Can’t tell if the pun was intentional.
I don’t see the pun, so I’m gonna say no. 😀
“Deep cuts”. Either way, good one…
Interestingly it seems that scene was filmed in a car park in Earl’s Court in London.
https://movie-locations.com/movies/h/Highlander.php
That would explain all the European lighting units at least. I can’t help with the rest of it.
I thought that might be the case but then I saw they filmed in NY/NJ and assumed it was in a garage in those areas. Good catch!
Yep, seeing multiple overseas spec vehicles in an “American” scene is a good tell that it was filmed outside the US. It’s easier for them to find American cars to film than it is American-spec European cars.
And all the American cars in the scene seem to be 8-10+ years old, probably steeply depreciated used cars left behind by US military personnel
Magic is a b*&ch on mechanicals. If Shadowfax was a truck and not a horse, Galdalf would’ve killed him.
this is the exact reason Gandalf chose a horse instead of gravedigger.
And now I have a mental image of hobbits in monster trucks
This was a theme in a 1960’s sci-fi short story by Poul Anderson, Time Patrol. In one of the stories the protagonist had to battle essentially immortal superhumans, the Exaltationists, who kinda cooperated but weren’t exactly caring if one of their fellows got bumped off during a scheme. Their goal was for one person to ultimately be the last person of their kind standing for all of time. Interesting how themes get recycled over the decades.
Or stolen.
There can be only (citro)one
True, there can be only one, but that one is a 356, because it’s the one that drive away
I was kind of distracted by the huge number of completely unnecessary back-handsprings being executed by that one immortal before he, himself, was executed.
But I’m glad to see that the 1973 Buick Centurion mostly avoided damage and even made it into your article in a screen cap! I owned a Centurion for a few years back in the early 2000’s. What a great, stylish land yacht, and one you don’t see very often.
The backflip from the hood seemed equally unnecessary. Simply jumping off would’ve been easier?
My bad- it’s a 1972 Centurion, based on a closer look at the grill. I think that was the best year for that model, although all three years (71-73) looked great.
I used to fence sabre. It’s a shame none of the immortals had to time for a bit of professional training. So much terrible sword fighting.
I watched it for about 30 seconds with the sound off. The action is so excruciatingly bad that was all I could take.