Welcome to Shitbox Showdown! We’re back after our three-day weekend with another roster of rust, check-engine lights, and AC systems that “just need a recharge.” This week, I think I’m going to do all one-marque days, just for the hell of it, and today we’re starting with Buick. But first, let’s see which car won our Father’s Day extravaganza:
Somewhat surprising win for the Studebaker. Based on the comments, I had a feeling it was going the other way. Myself, I’d have trouble choosing, but I think I’d ultimately end up with the MGA.
Today, we’re heading to the “flyover states” to look at two Bush-era Buicks. It’s kind of shocking how different these two cars are in form and purpose, and downright depressing how much more interesting they are than anything the brand sells today. If someone had told me in the early ’90s that in 2023 I would consider Buick’s offerings “interesting,” I’d have said they were crazy, but here we are. We’ve got a small two-seat sporty coupe, and Buick’s last traditional body-on-frame full-size sedan. Let’s see what you make of them.
1989 Buick Reatta – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8 liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Lincoln, NE
Odometer reading: 151,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
How is it that sales flops so often end up being cool? Is it just the rarity? Or is it that the things that made them flops, usually eccentricities or odd designs, make them stand out against later, less exciting models? In the case of the Buick Reatta, I think it’s a little of both. This is a rare car – only about 21,000 Reattas were sold in total – but it also has some qualities and features that make it worth knowing about. It’s a two-seater, from a time when every GM division wanted its own Corvette-like unique halo car. Pontiac had the Fiero, Cadillac had the Allante, and Oldsmobile had… wait, I’ll think of one… the um, Cutlass convertible! I guess that counts, sort of.
The Reatta also boasted Buick’s Electronic Control Center, the first touchscreen interface ever in a car, introduced two years earlier in the Riviera:
The seller includes several photos of this green glowing gizmo; apparently they want to make it abundantly clear that it works. It looks quaint by today’s standards (and also looks like it’s going to ask you to play a game with it), but this was high-tech stuff in the late ’80s. And the fact that it still works 34 years and 150,000 miles later is impressive as well.
This Reatta runs and drives just fine. It’s powered by the legendary Buick 3800 V6, driving the front wheels through a four-speed Turbo-Hydramatic; the only drivetrain available. I’ve often wondered what a five-speed manual Reatta would have been like. Would it have helped sales, or just become an impossible-to-find mythological option? We’ll never know. Early Reatta interiors are cool places to be, with the touchscreen and a really nice three-spoke steering wheel, and this one looks like it’s in reasonable condition, especially for the price.
Outside it’s a bit scruffier, with missing or mismatched hubcaps and some truly impressive rock chips on the front fascia. There might be a little rust around the edges as well, but it doesn’t look serious. This is a bona-fide classic these days, and even in this condition, it’s a guaranteed conversation-starter in the right crowds.
1992 Buick Roadmaster – $1,800
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7 liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Des Moines, IA
Odometer reading: 176,000 miles
Runs/drives? More or less, it sounds like
I get the feeling that Buick knew this was going to be its last big rear-wheel-drive sedan, and wanted to go out with a bang by bringing back an old nameplate. And they chose well; there has never been a better name for a big comfortable highway cruiser than “Roadmaster.” Even if you had no idea what a Buick Roadmaster was, you’d instinctively know it was all about eating up the miles in quiet and comfort.
And the part of the car in which you do that looks like the best part of this Roadmaster. I’ll be honest: When I saw the exterior photos of this car, I expected the interior to be trashed, but this looks okay. It could use a cleanup, and it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the glovebox door is open because it won’t stay closed, but for a thirty-year-old Buick that has obviously seen some careless use, it’s actually quite nice inside.
This car is, of course, the sister model to the Chevrolet Caprice of the same years, built on the same full-size B-body architecture. Buick had long since stopped producing its own V8 engine by this time, so the Roadmaster shares the Chevy’s small-block V8 as well. Later Roadmasters got a substantial increase in power from Chevy’s LT1 V8, but this one was a couple years too early for that. The seller says this car runs and drives, but has a few issues. The rear brake lines and drums were just replaced by Midas, but the brakes supposedly need to be bled, which sounds hinky to me. Wouldn’t Midas have done that? A little more investigation is warranted, I think.
The turn signals are also inoperative, which is probably a bad flasher relay and not bulbs as the seller states. They also note a wobble at higher speeds, which might be related to the woefully inappropriate all-terrain tires it wears. New shoes might improve its highway manners a great deal.
So there they are, two wildly different vehicles from GM’s old-people division. Both need a little work, but either one should be more or less reliable still, and a lot more intriguing than whatever the hell those things are they’re selling now. Cheaper, too. Which one will you hit The Great American Road in?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
How dare you disrespect the Toronado like this
Not a unique halo model, sister to the Riviera. No other division got a W-body convertible, though.
If the Roadmaster was a wagon, it would be a no-brainer. As a sedan, I’d rather have a Caprice (or Impala SS, of course).
I used to ride motorcycles with a guy that was an engineer for the Reatta. He later owned 3 at one time. Another half baked GM product. Could have been great with a little time and fine tuning. BTW, they drove well for the day. The 3800 was a good choice. One of his was a pearl white / saddle interior. Looked nicer than it’s price point.
I love a good luxo-barge, but had to vote Reatta. This Roadmaster is too shady for me.
This is legitimately a tough contest.
The Reatta is in a fair bit better shape, has those cool Casio-style doodads and a solid powertrain wrapped in an attractive package. The problem for me is that it just borrowed too much European inspiration on some of the engineering (i.e. brakes). Plus, if I’m honest, I’m no spring chicken and the Roadmaster is a lot easier to roll out of (I owned a ’96 Estate Wagon for awhile).
The Roadmaster is…THE. ROAD. MASTER. The master of the road. Who doesn’t aspire to that? They get horrid fuel economy in the city (about 14 MPG or so), but they are a dream for long drives and can net about 22 MPG with the AC on. I used my wagon to haul lumber and sacks of brewing grain. I’m sure this sedan has a pass through so you could still load long items, making it an eminently usable saloon. Plus, if anything goes wrong, the 5.0 is stone simple to repair, even if it’s a bit underpowered for the application.
Roadmaster.
I chose the Reatta, because it’s almost scruffy enough for me to turn into a one-off Buick I once drove briefly built with a longitudinal turbo V6 driving a Corvette IRS through a five-speed manual. The thing ran like an ape with a stripe on its posterior.
The Reatta was a good-looking car right from the start, but woefully short of suds. A little cutting and some bolting fixed that right up.
Oh I love late 80s/ early 90s GM goofyness, and with these two I’m taking the Reatta though I would also take in the Roadmaster and ditch the wheels. Is it hard to “unsmoke” the rear taillights? Those might be hard to find to replace.
Mark, for the Olds category may I suggest the Calais 442 or Achieva SCX with the High Output Quad4, or the Culass Supreme Int’l or Pace Car.
I’ve liked the Reatta ever since it was introduced (in my teen years). Easy vote for me today.
I voted for the Not-a-Miata over the Offroadmaster, but, truly, they are both so much excrement you can’t fit them in a box.
The Reatta is just too cool and special to pass up at this price.
I was a little surprised to find out I wasn’t being contrarian by selecting the Reatta. I have always had an irrational love for them to the point where even a Roadmaster wagon with the LT1 wouldn’t have swayed me and that’s a very cool car in itself.
The body design of the Reatta is a classic, the tech is retro-cool, and it’s truly a timepiece I’d be proud to fix up and take to Radwood. I dare say a little something-something could be done with the 3800 to give it a little more bite in non-CARB states and even in California where I live it would make a very nice cruiser.
I had an ’88 Reatta in the mid ’90s, black with gray interior (not convertible, sadly). The green CRT resistive touchscreen was pretty awesome. It has a mode where you can program in the distance to your destination and a little image of a car works its way across the screen based on how far you’ve travelled. Not exactly GPS but nifty for 1988. It’s main shortcoming, and it’s a biggie, was being an automatic. Well, that and it seemed pretty heavy for how it looked.
I would take the Roadmaster and throw some money at it, a cheap paint job, and a good look over by a mechanic and you have a nice daily for under 5 grand.
This is a tough one. The Reatta is really cool, but several key parts are unobtanium at this point. The Roadmaster is dodgy, but parts are readily available. I’ll go Roadmaster. A full going-thru is warranted, but at least I won’t be let down when something goes wrong that I cannot fix.
The Reatta is the obvious choice. Reattas were cool cars, at least in hindsight.
This would be competitive if the Roadmonster were in good condition, but this one is beat up (mismatched front fender, glove box that won’t close, missing trunk lid lock, etc.). It was clearly owned by someone who didn’t care about it and probably didn’t take much effort to maintain it. Also, the tires make me think this was someone’s winter beater; it is a midwestern car so I’m sure the undercarriage is very rusty (hence the need for new brake lines). The Reatta needs some paint work but otherwise looks to be in great condition. Why buy the janky Roadmaster when an extra $700 buys a nice Reatta?
I agree that the Reatta is the right choice. A closer look reveals a missing headliner, which shouldn’t be a surprise for an ’80s GM product (even if it was built largely by hand at Lansing’s “Reatta Craft Centre”), but I’d rather deal with cosmetics than chase the issues with that Roadmaster. And that CRT is pretty cool.
I had a Roadmaster with the LT1. It was glorious. This lesser one is still my choice over the Regretta.
Always had a weakness for the Reatta. Such a cool car. Parts may be hard to come by but man you’ll look good. The Roadmaster might be easier to find parts for, upgrade with LS swaps, etc, BUT it’s not a wagon so it’s not nearly as cool.
That Reatta was new when I was in HS. My friends and I were shocked the first time we got up close: how could an exterior that swoopy and elegant have such a rectilinear, boxy dash?
Nowadays that look is a little more nostalgic, and ultimately the exterior is just too gorgeous to pass up. But I’ll never forget looking through the windows and feeling let down.
I had to go Reatta. The Roadmaster isn’t a wagon, and the Reatta just has too much cool.
Also a supercharged Buick 3800 might fit. Or the FWD 5.3 LS. There is fun to be had there.
I’ve had to drive out into the middle of nowhere a few times recently for an event, and on my route there is a used car dealer (with like 7 cars on the lot) off this country road.
What catches your eye though, is the collection of probably 10 Buick Reattas rotting in place. I actually just pulled up a shot of it on Google Street View. 5-6 of them are red just like this one. Not sure what the goal is there. Let them just build value sitting on the side of the road?
Post the location please. I’m interested in seeing them stuck on streetview.
39.1353716638716, -77.993338636146
That is a lot of the same car from a random dealer. Looking at the dates they have been accumulating them over the years. I’m guessing the red convertible in the newest streetview is the good one and he buys up every one he comes across for spare parts.
They look so cute sitting together. Like they’re having a little party.
I kinda dig the white one with what looks to be a Celica wing.
My asshole former step-father had a 1987 Riviera with the touchscreen which was pretty cool to 9 year old me. Unfortunately his assholeishness means I’d never want a car with that green touchscreen. So roadmaster it is.
Easy choice here for the Reatta. Never realized so few were ever sold
I have always liked the Reatta since the beginning. This one is not in bad shape. I picked the Reatta. And at least someone up the Buick food chain had the balls to put this car in production.
Ah, I see this is your first time dealing with the wunderkinds at Midas.
If you think Iffylubes are bad, you ain’t seen shit. Imagine untrained, unqualified kids, squirting fluids and drilling holes to sell you on things you don’t need, and then they don’t do any of the work or they just do it dangerously wrong. Think ‘unqualified kids with inappropriate equipment welding directly on rusty frame with no cleaning’ wrong.
Any car that’s been to Midas for ‘brake lines’ is to be immediately ruled out, permanently. That shit is full of hacked in compression fittings and rubber line from the local plumbing store at best.
Going to Midas is akin to going to Maaco for a “quality” paint job.
Not even remotely comparable.
Maaco will do the job you pay for at the price they told you. If you tell them “do it right and the cost is the cost,” then they actually tend to do a better job than your average insurance job shop. The power of franchising enforcing standards. The zero fucks given rattlecan Maaco hasn’t existed for years. If they did that, they’d never be able to do another insurance job again. (They’re I-CAR Gold Class, which requires multiple ProLevel 3 techs and estimators with annual refresh.)
Midas not only won’t do the job you pay them for, what they do bother to do will be incorrect, the price and problem will change multiple times. “Oh, well, you have an A/C leak. Oh, did we say leak? Bad compressor, we have to order it from another country, it’ll be $2000 for the part. Oh, did we say bad compressor? It’s the condenser too, that’ll be another $1500.” And then you get it back with six cans of ‘leak stopper’ A/C charge in it.
Honestly, it should be illegal to sell AC recharge cans with ‘stopleak’ in it.
Maaco, like most paint jobs, is all about the prep work. The more you spend, the better the results. Most people who complain about them expect a luxury paint job while paying the lowest price listed on the board.
Interesting, in some local community forums I’ve had people swear the Midas near me is actually a good place to take your car for maintenance. It has always been a “believe it or not” statement, so they are aware of their general reputation.
Since the indy shops around me don’t have stellar reviews either, I was thinking of trying this Midas instead of the dealership that wants to charge me $400 for a pair of brakes.
I think it is hit or miss with those chains. I used to take my car to Plaza Tire which is a smaller chain in MO, but after some turnover, the service suffered a lot. A good independent shop is gold!
It’s very hit or miss. Out my way there’s an excellent NAPA shop. It is an old-school 4-bay family owned shop with a chain smoking service manager and no real restrictions – you’re welcome to wander out into the bay and chat with the mechanics. They are unfailingly honest, fairly priced, and do good work.
Across the street is a shitty NAPA shop that is bad about upselling.
I got bit once at one of those places (Valvoline) when I took my Jetta TDI in for an oil change. I was in a charitable mood, and said “yes” to the fuel system cleaner, new wiper blades which I was surprised they had as I had trouble finding them outside of the dealer, and a tire rotation. A 30 min affair ended up taking 2 hours because they didn’t have the right oil filter. It turned out that they didn’t have the wiper blades, and the fuel treatment the offered wasn’t for diesels (glad they at least figured that out before dumping it in). They also couldn’t get the wheels off which was actually my fault for not putting the special socket back in the glove compartment. After sending out for the filter multiple times (ordered the wrong part initially), they get 20% of the work I wanted done. I then notice that the oil written down on the sticker is the wrong weight, so they had to re-do that! After that, it has been a trusted independent shop, the dealer or my garage.
Both are sweet, but for the condition I am going to save the money and get the car that seems to need less work upfront. I will admit that if the roadmaster did have the LT1, or was a wagon I would likely be voting the other way.