While ads from automakers are typically polished, carefully crafted, and millimetrically precise in their aim to sell a product without attracting backlash, things can be a little bit different when it comes to local dealerships. I’ve seen my fair share of weird promotional tactics like a free barbecue with the purchase of a Ram 1500, mascots, yelling and local celebrity cameos, but every so often something different leads to a raised eyebrow or two.
The other night, I stumbled upon a 1969 ad for a Mercury dealer in Toronto that seems absolutely unhinged. It all centers around a schism of sorts that really seems like it should’ve been a personal matter, and for those not in on what has to be a joke of sorts, I’m struggling to understand why this ad would make you want to buy a car.
In 1966 Martin Starr and a certain overweight brother (who shall remain nameless) gave their Mom great pleasure by going into business together. They formed Star Mercury, a nice automobile dealership where the salesmen are trained to give you a good, understandable deal, (and to keep on being your friend even after you’ve signed on the dotted line, and where your car is serviced by mechanics who love their work.
Only one thing about Star Mercury has changed. The overweight brother deserted. He now runs a dealership for a rival manufacturer in a small borough to the east of Toronto.
But Martin stayed, to see Star Mercury become No. 1 Toronto Mercury-Meteor-Cougar dealership.
Sometimes Martin feels a little sad, thinking of the happy days he and his brother spent building Star Mercury. But the sadness leaves when he steals a deal from Old Overweight out in the borough. So you can help Martin stay happy. Buy a nice Montego, Meteor, Cougar, Marquis or Falcon from Star Mercury. You’ll get a wonderful deal.
And you’ll please Mom.
Deep down inside, she always liked Martin best
Whew. There’s a lot to unpack here, most of which should probably have been done in the presence of a licensed therapist, but let’s start with the whole sibling rivalry thing. I get that making fun of people’s features was more socially acceptable in the 1960s than it is today, so let’s leave that stone alone, but there is something amusing about the copy claiming the dealer will be “your friend” through the aftersales process, only to pile on the brother for gaining a new franchise. What would happen if you bought a Volkswagen as a second car to your Marquis?
Also, even if the tone of this newspaper ad is tongue-in-cheek and seems like a fairly obvious charade, it’s not exactly dispelling myths around the archetypal car dealer. I mean, a photo of the brother’s face with the caption “The overweight brother “He turned chicken”” is rather bold stuff, to the point I can only assume permission was granted before the ad was run. If there was any real animosity, things could’ve got uglier.
If we dig a little deeper, we’ll find that karma’s an interesting thing. The brother mentioned in this ad was Marvin Starr, owner of Marvin Starr Pontiac Buick in Scarborough, a franchise that stuck it out until the very end of Pontiac, outlasting Star Mercury’s existence as a Mercury franchise. Actually, it outlived Mercury’s existence as a brand in Canada, with Ford having sunsetted the marque north of the border for 1999.
I guess the takeaway here is that it’s kind of amazing that ads like this once worked. The world of local car sales has always been a weird one, but there’s just not much appealing about putting your own money on the line in the name of sibling rivalry.
There was a dealer in Northern New Jersey who advertised a sale during building construction with the tag line “my cars are getting schmutzy”, and then poured concrete around the actresses feet.
One of the better known feuds is between the Dassler brothers, which brought us Adidas and Puma.
Pretty brilliant convince the market it is between the two brothers and they forget about other dealers. Marketing ahead of its time but you don’t get it
Maury Ettleson of the old Celozzi-Ettleson Chevrolet dealership died yesterday.
They did a parody of their commercials for Pizza Hut, with the tagline, “Where you always get more pepperoni.”
Chicagoans will know!
1969?
It’s a riff on the Smothers Brothers “Mom always liked you best!” line.
Also auto dealer advertising was more fun then.
This LA VW dealer for example
https://youtu.be/b4IbYrg88pI?si=QZlllfufnnU5_eRr
It could easily be that the other brother was in on it. does the other brothers ads mention this brother?
My father-in-law came up with the breakfast cereals, Qrisp and Quake, just so that TV ads for one of them could disparage the other and by pretending that there only competition was with each other all of the other brands weren’t even a choice.
So it could easily be that this ad is part of a campaign for the two dealerships to frame each other as their only competition.
I also thought about Cal Worthington while reading this article! He bought a dealership in Sacramento in the early ’80s. We were lifting off the ground in my TV station’s Jet Ranger as he was taking off and heading south back home in his (self-piloted) Learjet. It’s customary when the local tower gives you a new frequency to contact ATC to say a polite goodbye of some sort. Usually, it’s a terse “good day” or something like that. When his turn came, he replied in his casual Oklahoma drawl a cheery “See you later…” The chopper pilot and I just both broke out laughing.
He is the epitome of a self-made millionaire. I mean incredible. I’m sure there are better biographies, but this Wikipedia article is not a bad start.
Cal Worthington – Wikipedia
(Sidenote: Jet Ranger HAS to be one of the coolest aircraft names ever.)
He really was something, started by standing in the sidewalk next to a parked car and selling it.
And that suit! I always liked watching his ads when I was living in Newhall. The era of live tv ads on location for used cars seems hard to imagine now. Can you imagine how much lighting it must have taken to advertise outdoors at night.
Is anyone doing interesting TV dealer ads now? Does anyone still watch TV?
In Sacto, his dog was always a very handsome lion.
’69 Cougars though. ????
kissyface.emoji
The worst part to me is that they never closed that parenthetical remark. I mean what the hell.
That bothers me, too. Didn’t they copy editors in Canada in the 60’s?
After they copied the editors too many times, the quality degraded. In 1969 they couldn’t make digital copies, so they were stuck with fifth generation xeroxes of their editors.
I keep forgetting those days of analog editor copiers. We are so spoiled with our digital editor copiers of today. I really should make a copy of an editor for my comments.
Back then weren’t they more likely to be mimeographs?
Those were the copy boys, stoned out of their gourds on mimeograph fluid. Ditto heads they called them.
I think that’s where the band Deep Purple got its name.
OMG… I remember those from grade school. And I remember the smell of fresh ones. Those were dittos. Mimeographs were, according to Wikipedia, technically something else that I may have never seen.
Having worked in newspapers, as did my mom, I’ve been exposed to lead fumes from Linotype machines and printers ink fumes from the presses.
It’s amazing I still have some brain function left.
The editor of the local paper used to give me my name in type when I was 8 and we went to visit, although by that time they had switched to offset I think.
I always loved the smell of a newspaper. I went to the current NYTimes offices a few years ago ago and it didn’t smell like a newspaper at all. Beautiful offices, but no new smell.
My dad had a hectograph, that he would print postcards with. I have no idea why, Probably for the same reason that he had a recording studio for no apparent reason, Or an apple ][ the first year it came out, just because why not?
I guess the same reason I get a twitch to buy a lineotype machine when they come up for sale. I have no idea why, other than it would handy to have around if I ever got a letterpress.
The Linotype guy at the local newspaper my mom was editor of for a couple of years did the same thing for me and my brother. Sadly, I’ve lost mine in the many, many moves I’ve made over the years.
The operator, Mr. Crohn, lived across the street from us.
I did an upgrade a few years ago at a TV station in Buenos Aires that was part of a media conglomerate down there and there was a Linotype machine in their lobby. I stared at it for at least five minutes.
I noticed that as well. Here’s a spare ) for balance.
Nice!
I mean just cause this ad existed doesn’t mean that it worked…
whoever approved this “ad strategy” … must have been the slender and better-loved sibling … cringe!
I really hoped that Marvin would have some ads firing back, but it looks like in mid-1969, he was on some thing about how big and important Scarborough was going to be in his ads.
Also, there are ads promoting getting mother Starr’s cabbage rolls or having a chicken soup night as a couple promotions, which is a nice step above hot dogs. Also, one of the other dealers in the area had a big zucchini fest (including 6ft tall zucchini mascot costume), which it looks like one of the sales managers took north to his new job in Barrie after that dealer closed up a few years back.
jesus
Wasn’t there a fair there in Scarborough? Oh, wait. That was in North Yorkshire, in the UK, not Ontario, Canada.
Are you going?
And will you get some parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme? We’re running low…
Reminds me of a lot of the longer-running barbecue families around here: this one broke off from that one when there was a dispute over side dishes and finances, this family is just a total hot mess and splintered in three directions, this one spun off and…
We used to have two Italian restaurants side by side run by brothers/cousins or some such resulting from some kind of dispute. For the old timers, which one you ate at said something about you.
Oh man, that is the kind of hot local gossip I live for, haha.
Where I live, there were an Italian couple who ran a restaurant. The husband did hanky panky with the staff, the wife end up with the restaurant and his namesake. The husband had to open a rival restaurant with his first name.
There is also a greek restaurant were the brother open a competing restaurant across the street to spite his brother.
Whoa! I had this very same thought! I was recently reading about the Black family and thinking that Canadian sibling rivalry has nothing on Texas BBQ family rivalries. Here’s a taste (pun intended) if you are interested.
They’ve got the warring advertisements down, though!
“But Martin stayed, to see Star Mercury become No. 1 Toronto Mercury-Meteor-Cougar dealership.”
Since when was “Cougar” a brand as opposed to a model under Mercury?
I don’t understand why dealers and other people in the auto industry don’t understand the difference between a “brand” and a “model”… and how they think it’s a good idea to turn models into brands.
It’s a throwback to a time when you said you drove a Ford or a Chevy, or a Plymouth, you were talking about a full-size model, which was all there was until 1960. In fact, for the first couple years of the Valiant, it *was* a separate brand, just to distinguish it from full-size Plymouths.
This from Canada. The Mercury brand and branding in general varied by country.
Well I’ve always lived in Canada and I think it’s stupid.
Brothers Martin and Marvin? Was there a third brother named Marlon? And sisters Marilyn and Marlena?
Wait, what were you saying? I’m still looking for the ) to go with the ( in the first paragraph of the ad.
Also, another Martin Starr played Bill Haverchuck in Freaks and Geeks, one of the great single-season series in television history.
Also also, Martin and Marvin? Really?
I just saw a clip of Silicon Valley where Gilfoyle’s AI, Son of Anton, deleted all the company’s code.
Interesting that they talk about selling Falcons and to get your order in on the new Maverick. Mercury dealers needing a lower priced car to sell to frugal Canadians was the reason that the Mercury 114 was introduced which morphed into the Meteor brand. That also gave the Canadians the Frontenac, a Maple Leaf wearing Falcon sold at Ford and Mercury dealerships for a year. A low price car for the Mercury dealers is also why the Mercury Bobcat was introduced, which eventually made it to the US. (Just like the Pontiac Astre).
Which brings up the fact that while Mercury stopped selling cars in Canada in 99 they didn’t stop selling Mercuries in Canada until they stopped making Mercuries in Canada. You could buy a new Grand Marquis and Marauder at your local Ford dealer for many years after all the Mercury dealerships closed.
Weird that they’d show a Ford Maverick on a Mercury dealer ad. The car is very clearly missing the prominent schnozz that Comets had.
Ford Maverick came out for 1970.
Comet came a year later for ’71.
Well yes, but typically Mercury dealerships didn’t sell Ford branded products. But as the comment below mentioned, maybe things were different in Canada.
Since Mercury and Meteor didn’t have a small car on offer – Comet had become a sub-model of the midsize Montego by the late 60’s, but gone from the lineup for 1970 – it makes sense that Canadian dealers were able to sell Falcons and Mavericks.
They also talk about selling Falcons. The Canadian market was weird due to the frugal nature of many Canadians and the less dense population.
It actually mentions the Maverick by name in the subtitle. “THE MAVERICK COMING SOON! GET YOUR ORDER IN NOW”
Emotional blackmail is an interesting tactic to shift cars. Did the 1970 ad show Martin holding a gun to his head?
If the Gallagher brothers ran a car dealership…
“Starr Motors II”
*edit: now I’m not sure if you’re referring to the comedy act or the musicians in Oasis.
I was referring to Oasis but it works for them too!
Awesome, I just read that both ways before seeing the replies. Yes, it absolutely works.
Funny how they didn’t even put the actual address on the ad, just a general location.
Just follow the trail of tears and discarded damp Kleenex.
To be fair the dealership probably took up most of the block, had a parking lot full of cars and probably had dozens of signs alerting passers by that they sold cars and were a Mercury dealership.
Even today, there’s a Ford dealer on the same site, you weren’t really at risk of going to the wrong Mercury dealer at Dufferin and Lawrence.
“you weren’t really at risk of going to the wrong Mercury dealer at Dufferin and Lawrence.”
These days, that site has a Toyota dealership.
As of 1969, 3080 Dufferin (the Toyota dealer) was the Conroy Hotel (big thanks to the Toronto library for digitizng old city directories), Star Mercury was a couple doors north at 3130, which is Yorkdale Ford today.
I recall it being some other hotel name in the 1990s… back when it had a strip club on the main floor for extra classiness.
This was a reference to Tommy and Dickie Smothers – the Smothers Brothers comedy team. “Mom always liked you best” was Tommy’s ultimate and desperate repartee to his obviously more competent and polished brother Dick. The Smothers Brothers were a huge deal in the 50’s and 60’s.
In reality, they were both very talented musicians and comedians and Tommy was honestly the more talented of the two. But Dick came across as more self-assured and confident, so that was their schtick. Here’s an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A6COJWTs6g
This.
Everything makes sense in the context of the times in which they occurred.
Indeed. At the time this was published EVERYONE would have gotten the joke. Now, only us old folks get it 🙂
True, this kind of deprecating humor was popular too
Indeed, the edgy and popular Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour aired on CBS from 1967 to 1969 before political backlash from the Nixon administration and other conservatives caused CBS to drop the show. Hmm, CBS dropping a popular politically controversial show to appease a petty tyrant. Why does that sound familiar?
Oh, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence – Right?
RIGHT?
*crickets*
Freedom of speech! (unless we don’t like the speech)
“Sock it to ME?”
Oh, how I loved Laugh-In when I was a kid!
Nixon said that quote with the ME? emphasized on the show to convince people he was cool. My parents were surprised I despised him. I was 10 when he resigned.
I was 8 –
Mother and I spent that summer watching Watergate as she was on Maternity leave.
He resigned 2 days before my Sister was born.
It was hope for the future. Time for a repeat.
At least we got Goldie first.
“I wanted a dog and I got a chicken!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkKXD_WEnWw
Frank the chicken.
Ahhhh, I completely forgot about that bit, even though it was rattling around in my head somewhere.
Comedy Nerd card has been revoked.
I wonder how many stupid, trendy, fad-based cultural things today will be reviewed in 50 years to the sound of crickets. Otto Torchinsky is gonna have a field day!
His and Delmar’s schtick could be how his dad used his real name and face on the Internet (“to this day G/O Media owns 3-year-old me”) and the Internet was a more cynical place by the time David spawned.
You’re counting on humans surviving the next 50 years? Damned optimist.
New Zealand will be the place to be.
Perhaps the only place to be.
Love it there. Wish I could swing that. I’ve found a couple of other pockets of peace I could maybe manage, but I’m not telling.
My Husband is a Kiwi and I sometimes remind him that it was his choice we didn’t go there 5 years ago like I wanted. May still be an option when things to really bad.
I could do the Azores too. Lots of pineapple and tea and kind people there.
Darn, being married to a native gets you a free pass. Bit expensive for non citizens, these days. Still, I’d go in heartbeat if I could.
If Marvin didn’t actually exist and the ad was just to make some kind of weird avant-garde hit piece, then I’ll give them a little credit for creativity. It keeps you reading. It’s like an early viral ad.
If Marvin actually exists (and it sounds like he did), then this is the most dysfunctional stuff I’ve ever read in marketing.