I have a confession to make: I have not seen the entire series of The Fast and the Furious films. In fact, I have only seen the first one, and not even in the theater. I did see Hobbs & Shaw on the big screen, however, though I can’t tell you why. That is not to say I am refusing to tell you, but rather I simply don’t know what I was thinking.
I didn’t not enjoy The Fast And The Furious, but once the manifold was in danger, I kind of checked out, and I haven’t checked back in. I don’t say that as a movie-snob flex, I assure you. I watch Godzilla movies for Pete’s sake, and I don’t just mean the new ones. No, I only mention my lack of investment in the F&F series to explain that since I have no reverence for it, I would not hesitate to go hog wild with the franchise in the staggeringly unlikely event that Universal Pictures handed me the reins.
Now, I’m not going to direct any of the movies myself – that sounds like a lot of work – but in the fantasy where I can get anyone I want to direct a F&F, I am absolutely going Full Auteur with my favorite filmmakers. What would James Cameron do with a carpalooza featuring Dom and crew? Can you wrap your head around The Fabulous Fast And The Furious, a quirky stop-motion adventure helmed by Wes Anderson? And don’t get me started on the story treatment I’m giving to Scorsese. I also think Dom vs. Jason (Voorhees, not Torchinsky) would be a lot of fun.
I suspect you have much less silly ideas for the franchise, so your turn:
You’re In Charge Of The Fast And The Furious Franchise. What’s The Plan?
Top graphic images: Universal Pictures; NECA
Let’s lean into merch and cross media. Bring back the cartoon series. What about a merchandise line of 3″ action figures and vehicles? Collectable with an interactive element, drivers say different lines in different cars and suchlike. Lego already does F&F sets, can we do a Lego game (like Star Wars?). Speaking of games, let’s engage a studio to whip up a mmo/live service game based on the property. WoW or Genshin Impact with cars. Great opportunity for cross-promotion, throw up a QR code during the movie for exclusive unlocks, we can tie that in with the snack foods promo stuff.
And, I don’t know, have chatGPT whip up some scripts for the next couple of sequels I guess.
It is September 2028, and every single car that ever appeared in the FF franchise is so insanely priced that the new gen has to use Honda Prologues. As the battery pack’s pyro fuse on these is not serviceable and the car has to be totaled when the airbag blows, the main plot of the movie is how to keep a steady supply of Prologues.
A heist is planned on a huge lot of lease returns.
A subplot is how the dealerships have conspired to trick the crew to steal them, as they need someone to get them off their hands.
Eventually money changes hands, the Prologues disappear from the lot, and a ‘uge barbecue is set at Honda’s headquarters with everybody celebrating. Dom grins and goes Faaamily.
The movie closes on a real Soviet Typhoon submarine really flying, as someone realized barely any part of the movie’s budget was spent, what with Prologues being a dime a dozen used.
FnF Gen Z – The children of the original characters are now speeding hooligans. They’re wearing baggy pants and driving old JDM cars since the 90s shit is back in fashion. However, they say stupid stuff like “6-7” and vape all day and plan heists from the basement of their parents’ houses.
Planning street takeovers rather than heists…
Retcon it into being someone’s fevered dream as they recovered in the hospital after a horrible accident that resulted from an illegal street race.
All characters are having a meal together in a restaurant.
Little do they know the Zombie Apocalypse has hit.
The restaurant gets surrounded by zombies.
Eventually the Zombies break in after one of the F&F characters does something stupid like “I just wanted to open the back door to get some air”
And after a heroic fight, all of them die… becoming Zombie Meals.
They accidentally drive into an interdimensional portal and end up in Wacky Races world.
Celer et Furens (latin for Fast and Furious) set in the late Roman republic. A group of Charioteers help defeat some Guals or something.
DANGER TO SNAFFLE-BIT
I haven’t watched the series since Tokyo Drift.
But how about AI is the villain, it has taken over the world and anything with a computer. Now Dom’s team has to save the world by building a strike force of rusty World War 2 Jeeps, without any electronics – and with the help of an intrepid rusty Jeep historian and aficionado – to assault the AI data center and shut it down.
Boom! Acts I, II and III. I even cast this movie’s guest star. He can arm wrestle Dom over who gets to drive first.
Is he a candy ass ?????
He’d better be a stand up man and a professional, if he doesn’t want to be!!!
I think a pre-requisite for writing for this site needs to be loving everything about the first fast and furious and begrudgingly watching the rest
Am I the only person that remembers the old carton MASK? (Mobile Armored Strike Kommand) We are already basically there anyway
Hell no, man. I love that cartoon to this day.
Well, they backed themselves into a corner with this last one. Jason Momoa as an unhinged, infinitely wealthy villain was great. That might fly in the face of what I think needs to be done. Bring it back to LA. Have it about the current state of car culture. SHOW OFF THE CARS!! The other hard part is that The Rock has deflated. IT would be hard to have Hobbs do anything other than desk duty…… The cars to have to be cool, if not off beat. I had never heard of a Jensen Interceptor until Furious 6…. With all of that being said I have read the studios won’t fund this one.
With the discussion around these movies, I guess I will be enjoying a marathon on my next snow day!!!!!
Honestly I would have ended it 25 years ago. The first one is really all we ever needed. Man, just I just say 25 years? It perfectly captured a period in time. They were all just down hill after that.
I thought the first 2 to 3 were entertaining enough. And the silly quotes are part of the fun. Who hasn’t quoted “Danger to Manifold”, or “Overnight parts from Japan”, or even “Ejecto-seato cuz!”
FF was enjoyable in it’s absurdity, what’s not to love about Point Break remade for cars? 2F2F was kinda meh, but had some fun scenes of a variety of cars. Tokyo Drift I enjoyed, showing drifting as opposed to just straight-up street racing was fun; despite it getting the least love.
The way to fix the series was definitely to stop before it just became another Action-Movie franchise.
I will say I liked the 4th one and maybe even the 5th one. I just think it’s hilarious that I saw the first one when I was in high school and my son will be in high school by the by the time the “last” one comes out. We have really jumped the shark.
Put it in the Cars universe and incorporate Torch’s homunculus theory.
We can save multiple franchises!
Jurassic World: Fast and Furious!
What’s the plot? Easy! Just steal the plot from Cadillacs and Dinosaurs!
I watched the first one and chuckled, but at least it had import cars and car stuff. Have they gone into space yet?
They went to space in a Fiero a couple movies ago.
Of course they did.
If it helps, Ludacris was the driver, and the guy that built it was the main character from Tokyo Drift who has now turned mad scientist. They get rescued by the Chinese space station.
Okay, I stopped watching after the 4th… so WTF?
Cross it over with the Cannonball
Add a sassy, animated (ala “Cars”) jive-talkin’ steamroller named Cousin Oliver.
Dominic and the gang find a warehouse full of abandoned DeLoreans and build a series of time machines. They go back in time to 1977 to assist a black Trans Am and Kenworth W900A tractor-trailer to haul a load of Coors from Texarkana to Atlanta all the while being pursued by a crazy Texas sheriff and his dimwitted son. Watch the hilarity ensue!
Hey, if they can shoot a Fiero into outer space in one of the movies, then they go back in time.
Fast & Furious meets Smokey & The Bandit. I’d watch it!
Having not seen the movies, I had to Google the Fiero thing.
OMG. This was actually in one of the movies.
They didn’t just jump the shark, they launched a Fiero into space over the shark!
After they get the Coors across the country, they pass through Hazzard County in Georgia where Rosco pulls them over. They meet up with the Dukes at the Boars Nest. By the mid 80s, they’ve linked up with a rouge group of commandos to help people who are being wronged. BA joins the crew that already has Bo and Luke in it along with the Bandit.
I think we need a Prequel that ultimately ends with Dom’s dad dying in the fiery wreck, beating the dude he blamed with the wrench, and the fallout that led to the rest of the series.
Something like that. But a prequel with muscle cars could be fun.
I’ll watch any of em though. The F&F franchise is a guilty pleasure and I’ll watch any of em without so much as a preview. I know I’m part of the problem, I don’t care.
I think they did that already right? When we find out john cena is his brother.