Well, it took an extra day due to a freak snowstorm in Ohio, but we made it. I’m writing this from the living room of my new house. I’m sitting on sofa cushions on the floor, but I’m here, and I’ve got two sporty coupes from Chrysler to show you, both named after animals or animal parts.
Brian showed you two big German sedans from the Pacific Northwest yesterday. (And thank you for filling in, sir!) He said he liked them both, and I kind of agree. I didn’t appreciate cars like these when I was younger, but now in my fifties, I can see the appeal of a big, fast, comfortable sedan that can just inhale the miles in front of it effortlessly. By a wide margin, however, you all picked the older and simpler BMW over the more modern Mercedes.
If I had to choose, I think I’d lean the same way. Those mid-1990s BMW designs are just so timeless, and I’m pretty sure this one is from after the cylinder liner problem was solved, so it should be reliable. I’d be happy to drive the big red Benz, but I’d rather own the green BMW.
Brian found his choices in the Pacific Northwest, which as regular readers know, has long been one of my favorite hunting grounds for cars. I lived in Portland for sixteen years, and I enjoyed the car-spotting every single day of that time. It’s not really known as a “car town,” but maybe it should be. Oddball vehicles are just part of the scenery, and the classifieds never disappoint. Take these two, for instance. When was the last time you saw one where you live?
1965 Plymouth Barracuda – $6,800
Engine/drivetrain: 318 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Portland, OR
Odometer reading: 230,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives but “shifts weird”
The celebrated Ford Mustang was introduced on April 17, 1964, and is considered the first car of its kind, the so-called “pony car.” Pedantic Chrysler fans, however, will point out every chance they get that the Plymouth Barracuda, which was to the Valiant what the Mustang was to the Ford Falcon, hit showrooms sixteen days earlier, on April 1st. Regardless of which came first, there’s no question which one is a cooler sight these days. You still see early Mustangs all the time, but seeing a first-generation Barracuda is a rare treat.
Like the Mustang, the Barracuda was available with either six or eight cylinders. This one has a V8, but it’s not the 273 cubic inch “Commando” V8 it would have originally come with. This is a later 318 V8, bored 0.040 inches over, with high-performance heads, intake, and carb. It’s backed by an A-727 Torqueflite automatic transmission. The engine runs well, and the car is drivable, but the seller says the transmission “shifts weird.” From what I remember, on Torqueflite transmissions, most “weirdness” can be traced back to improper adjustment of the throttle valve cable, so fixing it should just be a matter of proper setup.
Inside, it looks just like a Valiant, which is no surprise. Not many Valiants have bucket seats and a floor-mounted shifter, though, and of course, the pushbutton transmission controls were gone by ’65. The interior of this one needs some help. The driver’s seat is trashed, the passenger’s seat is “disassembled,” and the dash top has two giant cracks in it. In other words, don’t take this car on a first date until you’ve done some work.
The Barracuda’s most distinctive design feature is that huge rear window, which thankfully is intact on this one. I don’t even want to think about what replacing that would cost – if you could even get a replacement. The paint is black primer from a spray can, and it does have a little rust here and there, but damn if this thing doesn’t have presence.
1992 Eagle Talon TSi AWD – $6,850
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.0-liter DOHC inline 4, five-speed manual, AWD
Location: Portland, OR
Odometer reading: 65,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well, but check engine light is on
A couple of decades later, on the other side of the bleakest era of automotive design and performance in history, Chrysler teamed up with its Japanese partner Mitsubishi to create a sporty coupe sold by both companies. Mitsubishi’s version was the Eclipse, and Chrysler gave a version to two of its divisions: former performance heavyweight turned peddler of old-person cars, Plymouth, and newly minted catchall division Eagle. Eagle’s version was called the Talon, and the top of the range was this turbocharged, all-wheel-drive TSi model.
Cheap, fast cars often lead brutal lives, and this Talon seems to be no exception. It has covered a scant 65,000 miles in its thirty-four years, owing partially to the fact that it spent fifteen of those years sitting around with a blown head gasket. It runs fine now, after a bunch of work including a resurfaced head, a new head gasket, and all the trimmings. The seller says it runs nice and cool, and makes good oil pressure. Something is still amiss, or possibly just left unplugged, however, because its check-engine light is on. This car predates modern OBDII diagnostic codes, so you’ll have to figure out the reason for the light some other way – via a different scanner, or sometimes by performing some ritual with the ignition key and counting how many times the check-engine light blinks. (Was that three blinks, or four? Crap, better do it again.)
Because of its long slumber and subsequent low mileage, it’s in a lot better shape inside than many Eclipses and Talons. Unfortunately, since it’s a first-generation car, you’ll have to put up with motorized shoulder harnesses, but you also get an ergonomic interior with a really nice driving position and a great gearshift. I’ve driven a few of these things over the years, and really enjoyed them – apart from the idiotic seat belts.
It needs paint – apparently, its Rip Van Winkle years were spent outdoors. The clearcoat is shot. But it looks straight and rust-free, and some faded paint won’t make it any less fun to drive, just less fun to show off. But there are so few first-generation Eagle Talons left these days that you’ll probably be a hit at Cars & Coffee even with the bad paint.
I don’t imagine there’s a lot of crossover in the fandoms of these two cars, but you can put me solidly in both camps. Either one would be a lot of fun to own, just in different ways. So I’ll leave the choice up to you: Do you want your fun from a crude, rumbly V8 throwback, or from a sleek, turbocharged, all-wheel-drive rocket?
Even though I am the exact age that I should want that Talon, they never did much for me. It would make me smile to see one in person now, but I don’t wish to own one. I’ll cruise the V8 with my kids to the ice cream shop. After I put the interior back together.
Eagle Talon for me. I lusted after these when they were new. And I know that these are not the most reliable (but that might be partly due to the types of owners these attracted) and can be expensive to keep in tip top shape.
But they are way more fun to drive than that old Plymouth. And the manual vs slushbox helps seal the deal.
Hard. Hard hard hard choice. Two sporty coupes, same iffy black paint (for different reasons), both have slight issues under the hood, both could have potentially been sold at the same dealer 27 years apart, and there’s only 50 bucks in the price.
I think I have to vote Eagle just for the stick, its in-one-piece interior, and its compact dimensions, but I still love the glassback ‘Cuda, and would be perfectly happy with it too.
Mark, welcome back and for the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong with motorized seatbelts. Some of us actually liked them!
Back in the day I had a ’91 TSi AWD (Popup headlights FTW!!!) and loved that car (when it was running). I always thought the ’91s and earlier looked better than the ’92-94 due to the aforementioned popups and the spoiler on the Talons going all the way up to the side mirrors. The interior and drivetrain are mostly the same though the later ones got a 4 bolt rear end that was stronger than the ’91s 3 bolt. It really only mattered if you got it down in the 10s though, otherwise the 3 bolt was strong enough. Still, as much as I like the funky rear glass on Barracudas and Marlins I’m 1000% voting for the Talon and its motorized seatbelts!
Talons are cool cars, but I don’t want one that got flogged and then abandoned for 15 years after the less than caring owner broke it.
That Barracuda is pretty awesome as is. I would absolutely take it on a first date. If your date curls their lip at it, then it wasn’t going to work anyway.
“Talons are cool cars, but I don’t want one that got flogged and then abandoned for 15 years after the less than caring owner broke it.”
Isn’t that all of them though?
I picked the Barracuda too.
I want triples of the Barracuda. Triples is safest.
I had a ’90 Laser, manual, bone stock, no options. Had all of 93hp, and was the first car I bought new, and one of the few cars I’ve deeply loved.
Years ago, I had a coworker who would bring his garage queen ’65 Barracuda to work occasionally. He would get royally pissed when I would call it a Marlin. For that reason alone, I pick the Barracuda.