Home » All The Jokes That Were Too Mean For The Car Names List: Tales From The Slack

All The Jokes That Were Too Mean For The Car Names List: Tales From The Slack

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SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
10 months ago

There are a lot of good ones in there! I particularly was drawn to:
Complexity of BMWs
Crowd of Mustangs
Asylum of Smarts
A box of Jukes (submitted in comments)
Instagram of Chargers
OKAY, I’ll stop. There are too many good ones to list!

My wife was using “a smug of Prius” back in 2003. She preferred the plural form as ‘Prii’ (this was before Toyota’s decision) but went with the phrase which is more publicly recognizable.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
10 months ago

I laughed out loud at “a china shop of Lamborghinis.” I think that one might stick.

FTR, I think it’s possible to be “pro-car” while acknowledging that the cool owners/fans can laugh at themselves.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
10 months ago

A tapas of Minis

Loudog
Loudog
10 months ago

“A flux of Tesla” would be appropriate. For Chevy Bolts, it’s “An arc of Bolts”.

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
10 months ago

I have definitely created asylums of Smarts before in the back lot. Mostly cause you can double stack them in one spot or because I find it kind of entertaining to hide them so I tend to park them in a cluster. I take my entertainment wherever I can get it

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
10 months ago

I love Merkurs! Even though he’s a Mopar guy, I always hope that Gossin is going to one day get his hands on a Scorpio that’s been sitting in someone’s barn for 20 years or something (“I got it for $200 and an old Trans-Am wheel!”)

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
10 months ago

Seems like private club submittals here. We don’t get to play?

Paul B
Paul B
10 months ago

Along the lines of “algebra of BMW’s”:

When BMW came out with latest naming scheme, driving.ca’s headline was “Loose Vowels, BMW is renaming its cars”.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
10 months ago
Reply to  Paul B

BMW maybe loose bowels?

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
10 months ago

As an unloved generation Camaro owner, water off a duck’s back 🙂

I did enjoy a Mullet of Camaros.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
10 months ago

A “crowd of Mustangs” would be appropriate. Memorializing the folks injured when idiots driving Mustangs slid into crowds.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
10 months ago

Or a P38 of Mustangs, or a squadron?

NewBalanceExtraWide
NewBalanceExtraWide
10 months ago

I was just assuming USPS was doing its “we’re not scanning labels so you can’t see how slowly things process through our system” thing again. I’ll look forward to my stuff next week!

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
10 months ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

Hey just keep us apprised.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
10 months ago

Ugh, I had an eBay order (for something I sold) like that. It was going to my own zip code, but the owner paid for shipping and I didn’t wanna be a weirdo who just plopped it in the box because I knew roughly where the house was, so whatever. In the mail it goes.

First off, I had to go ALL THE WAY to 78701 because the 78703 outpost doesn’t have a parcel postage machine anymore. The neighborhood outpost claimed this machine wasn’t profitable, but good grief, not only are they a public service to where “profitability über alles” should matter less, but it’s a machine that literally takes money 24/7, and that is the thinnest, lamest excuse for making the USPS less accessible for those of us who need to mail stuff after the window closes. (Austin’s closer-in USPS lobbies tend to close after a certain hour, so needing to mail something off-hours is…ugh, do you want to drive my business to FedEx?) Now I have no idea if the “literally en route to where I keep the Porschelump” package actually got there because USPS doesn’t appear to have ever scanned it in. The heck? Should’ve taken like, the next afternoon max to go over to that other house.

There was a book I ordered a while ago that was straight-up stolen en route, too, so like, what the hell, USPS, get your crap together. And that’s coming from me!!! I know entities who don’t have their crap together—I am one!!! If I’m telling someone else their whole damn vibe is a mess, yikes.

(This has been Stef Rants About the Postal Service. Sorry.)

Last edited 10 months ago by Stef Schrader
A. Barth
A. Barth
10 months ago

“A stereo of Nissan Jukes”

I would have gone with “a box of Nissan Jukes”, i.e. a Jukes-box.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
10 months ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Like the box better. Or a shimmy? A juke is a football term for a feint.

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