I think if any of us has any hopes for the unchosen series of alphanumeric characters that appear on a state-issued license plate, that hope would be that, somehow, that string of characters would combine in such a way that whoever reads them would feel an urge to use their hands to grip and clench our buttocks, “squeezing” our “ass” as it were. I had long assumed this was a universal desire when it came to car license plates, but I just learned that there are some people who do not, in fact, appreciate a license plate that suggests such an activity. One such person is almost 77-year-old Pompano Beach resident Nancy Dello Stritto.
The Florida DMV saw fit to bestow upon Dello Stritto a license plate bearing the characters SQZ A55, which most people would glance at and read as “SQUEEZE ASS.” Florida’s typographic choices do provide a 5 that really does read like an “S.” Dello Stritto somehow was not delighted with the license plate, saying of the plate
“I don’t think a woman that a woman that lives in a senior community, that’s going to be 77 next month, will be driving around with what this plate has to say.”
I guess some people don’t want a blanket invitation to ass squeezing? Strange, but everyone is different, I suppose, and I have to respect that.
(Here’s a link if the video embed above gives you trouble)
In talking with other members of her retirement community and her sons, there actually seems to be a lot of support for the SQZ A55 license plate, enough that Dello Stritto is at least considering giving the plate a try. She acknowledges that it may cause some perhaps unwanted attention, but notes
“I can handle it if I get a few honks here and there. Actually, being over 70, I might like a few honks.”
I know I’m being flippant here, but I hope everyone realizes there are no circumstances where a license plate should give anyone permission to touch another person’s body, in any context. We all get that, right? Good.
Interestingly, this is not the first time that Florida’s 5s looking like S-es and conspiring with As to form the word “ASS” has become a source of national tittering. Remember the ASS ORGY license plate from around 2005 or so?
That was a real, officially-generated Florida license plate as well. In that case, the actual series of characters, A55 RGY, was assisted by the large orange in the center of the plate that resembled an “O,” making the whole plate read like a sexually-charged party that focused on the pleasures of the buttocks. That license plate was issued to a Lincoln owned by a software company, and aside from becoming an early internet meme, seems to have been in normal use otherwise.
I bring this up to encourage Ms.Dello Stritto to keep and use the SQZ A55 license plate with pride, knowing that she is continuing a Floridian tradition of accidentally comically ass-centric license plates, and in this day and age, I believe that is something worth celebrating.
Remember, any actual ass-squeezing are entirely at the discretion of Ms.Dello Stritto, at least on the receiving side. Any that she chooses to provide would require the full consent of both parties.
Top graphic images: Screen capture, YouTube, 10 Tampa Bay News
this just increased the value of her car by 20%
If she was French, this wouldn’t be a problem.
How many requests does the Florida DMV get for an A55 MAN plate?
Fun fact: Orange fruit production is measured in cases. Florida has more oranges on its license plates than cases of oranges produced annually.
Orange production is falling due to blight, bad weather related to global warming and real estate development wiping out orange groves.
Don’t forget Cirtus Greening.
My favorite is the local “Orange Tree” development built on top of former orange groves.
Suburbs are, ironically, often named after what was bulldozed in order to build them.
Yeah, I just read an article that pretty much said it’s near End of Days for Florida orange production on a huge commercial scale.
They’re starting to get huanglongbing in California now, too, which is not optimal
We’ve had it in CA since 2012. Just a matter of time until our citrus industry follows in FL’s footsteps unless they find a cure.
I thought Florida citrus is following California’s in losing land to sprawl development.
Is that an Asian porn star name?
How about oranges produced anally?
I’m not clever enough to think of personalized plates so every time I get new plates for something, I pray that I get a funny combination of numbers and letters but haven’t been lucky yet. This would be a dream come true for me.
I just applied for the Michigan semiquincentennial plate so maybe this one will be the one.
Kramer’s ‘Assman’ plate comes to mind…
I was so thrilled when my random IL plate ended with 42069…
There’s a party go’in on down here.
I also have a randomly issued 420 plate in CT. It’s old and beat up, but I keep transferring it with every new car.
I once got 911RYG for my Isuzu Trooper, shortly after 9/11, and their nicknames are “rigs”.
Would she draw the line at DAT A55? Or maybe DMB A55? How about GRB A55?
I’ll be here all week, folks.
I would propose that this is not necessarily a giving of permission. It could also be read as a preference, or an order to all those out in the world to go and do, but not with the suggester necessarily.
When you realize that Florida sucks so much, that they even lost their sense of humor.
On the contrary, I think this shows that someone at the FL DMV has a great sense of humor.
The Channel 10 news twits in the linked article were certainly having some fun with it.
When they are the only state that allows A55 ON a plate they are the only one with a sense of humor. On the other hand you have California who is so tight A55 that they can replace oranges with diamonds by putting a lump of coal between their A55 BUNZ
Hey it could have been worse. She could have got L1K A55 or 5UK A55
> “I don’t think a woman that a woman that lives in a senior community, that’s going to be 77 next month, will be driving around with what this plate has to say.”
Hmph. They sure would in The Villages.
https://www.news4jax.com/news/florida/2022/08/20/why-is-the-villages-known-as-the-std-capital-of-america/
I think that’s why she doesn’t want the plate. She knows the consequences of it.
As long as she makes sure there aren’t any upside down pineapple stickers on her car, I don’t see how it could be a problem for her.
Some people have all the luck, even if they don’t believe it.
If anyone here went to their local DMV and actually asked for this letter/number combo, they’d get turned down, speedy-speedy.
Hell, there was the professional Santa who had his “HO HO HO” plate cancelled because it was supposedly a gendered sexual slur.
Puh-LEEZE.
I could only dream of such luck. You wouldn’t catch me blabbing to the news about it.
You don’t want your 15 minutes?
What’s wrong with you?
I would be delighted to receive that plate and I would absolutely keep it!
Remembering that my old man had a PA plate that read “hot bun”
For reference, he owned a bakery.
Honestly, the best part of her plate is that the state has recently stopped using “MYFLORIDA.COM” across the top and gone back to the state name itself. I always hated that. And if I got that plate, I think I’d keep it purely for the laughs.
I’m sorry, 77 years old does not qualify as “elderly” in Pompano Beach.
You have to wonder how many of those license plates are given to people (non fossils) who appreciate them. Especially in south Florida. Where you never hear anything about it because they don’t want it taken away.
I can’t imagine why, the oranges make it that much better (and visually instructive)!
Shoulda been a Georgia peach plate, but the oranges are close enough. But she’s right, that plate is probably dangerous in a retirement community. Too many widows and widowers who are going to take that invitation without actual permission.
By any indication of the ads taylored to them on fox, oan, and newsmax. The problem will only get worse now they can get their pharmaceuticals for 20c a pill or whatever it is.
Criminally underrated comment. If there is justice, this will be COTD because contrary to the orange guy in office, sexual assault is no joke.
She could use a few honks. We all could.
That confuses me. I thought she was worried that the plate WOULD encourage people to “honk.” As the ancient couplet so memorably said:
An asp in the grass is an asp in the grass,
But a grasp in the ass is a goose
You couldn’t pry that license plate out of my cold dead hands. Some people don’t know how good they have it.
Some people don’t know how to have fun.
it started with her saying “I don’t think so” and ended with her saying “actually, I might like a few honks”
lol
I’d love to have that license plate for myself.
Same! Sadly, the Illinois Secretary of State has already ruled it ineligible.
Alexi is no fun.