I think if any of us has any hopes for the unchosen series of alphanumeric characters that appear on a state-issued license plate, that hope would be that, somehow, that string of characters would combine in such a way that whoever reads them would feel an urge to use their hands to grip and clench our buttocks, “squeezing” our “ass” as it were. I had long assumed this was a universal desire when it came to car license plates, but I just learned that there are some people who do not, in fact, appreciate a license plate that suggests such an activity. One such person is almost 77-year-old Pompano Beach resident Nancy Dello Stritto.
The Florida DMV saw fit to bestow upon Dello Stritto a license plate bearing the characters SQZ A55, which most people would glance at and read as “SQUEEZE ASS.” Florida’s typographic choices do provide a 5 that really does read like an “S.” Dello Stritto somehow was not delighted with the license plate, saying of the plate
“I don’t think a woman that a woman that lives in a senior community, that’s going to be 77 next month, will be driving around with what this plate has to say.”
I guess some people don’t want a blanket invitation to ass squeezing? Strange, but everyone is different, I suppose, and I have to respect that.
(Here’s a link if the video embed above gives you trouble)
In talking with other members of her retirement community and her sons, there actually seems to be a lot of support for the SQZ A55 license plate, enough that Dello Stritto is at least considering giving the plate a try. She acknowledges that it may cause some perhaps unwanted attention, but notes
“I can handle it if I get a few honks here and there. Actually, being over 70, I might like a few honks.”
I know I’m being flippant here, but I hope everyone realizes there are no circumstances where a license plate should give anyone permission to touch another person’s body, in any context. We all get that, right? Good.
Interestingly, this is not the first time that Florida’s 5s looking like S-es and conspiring with As to form the word “ASS” has become a source of national tittering. Remember the ASS ORGY license plate from around 2005 or so?
That was a real, officially-generated Florida license plate as well. In that case, the actual series of characters, A55 RGY, was assisted by the large orange in the center of the plate that resembled an “O,” making the whole plate read like a sexually-charged party that focused on the pleasures of the buttocks. That license plate was issued to a Lincoln owned by a software company, and aside from becoming an early internet meme, seems to have been in normal use otherwise.
I bring this up to encourage Ms.Dello Stritto to keep and use the SQZ A55 license plate with pride, knowing that she is continuing a Floridian tradition of accidentally comically ass-centric license plates, and in this day and age, I believe that is something worth celebrating.
Remember, any actual ass-squeezing are entirely at the discretion of Ms.Dello Stritto, at least on the receiving side. Any that she chooses to provide would require the full consent of both parties.
Top graphic images: Screen capture, YouTube, 10 Tampa Bay News
What’s extra amusing is that her name is Dello Stritto. Stritto means narrow, tight. Maybe from too much squeezing?
It’s a pity this didn’t happen in Georgia.
Years ago, I remember seeing a list of all the alphanumeric combinations that the California DMV won’t use in license plates — it was fun and amusing. It’s interesting that after the A55ORGY meme went viral, the state of Florida didn’t prohibit A55 as a character string. Good on them!
Maryland gave somebody “9J0H22A” without noticing what it looks like in a rear view mirror.
We have a local dealership named GLASSMAN that sells Subarus. Yes they use all uppercase letters.
Their dealership stickers are die-cut vinyl.
I briefly had an Outback that said ASSMAN on the back. Took it in for my free oil change after purchase and they replaced the whole sticker without even asking. As it was technically my (then)wife’s car I left it alone.
I am a child.
TIHS HO was my favorite plate. Does not look like much, but when its in your rearview mirrors, the 930s that was adorning its personal plate made it clear that they were made for each other
My favorite is 3M TA3 from the crashed plane on the cover of the Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill album. 55AYMTA3 also works. https://frinkiac.com/img/S09E17/58141.jpg
In Ohio, you can use the Oplates website to see if a vanity plate has already been taken. You put in what you want and it makes an image of what you want on a variety of Ohio plates (stuff with various causes on them, etc). If it is disallowed, it will tell you right there.
I know for a fact that DR FART is available and was not flagged as disallowed. I don’t have an extra car to put it on, and I don’t imagine the wife would think it’s funny, but I would love to get that set up.
Unrelated: Saw a WRX with TRD NUGT a while back. Not sure if they were illiterate Ted Nugent fans or actually wanted turd nugget. Either way, deeply entertaining.
For one year, I had a Donate Life organ donor plate with ZOMBES on it. Every now and again I’d see someone in my mirror pulling out a phone to take a picture.
When Ohio wanted to charge the special plate fee AGAIN for the subsequent renewal, I reverted back to the standard plate but it still hangs on my basement wall today.
PA has that too. My dream plate is PROLAPS
I really hope that just means that you are a professional driver doing hot laps. Visions of goatse creep in against my will…
Arizona has this tool as well, It’s pretty shocking what you can get away with. Plates are cheap here like $25/year. I must have pondered it for months, looking them up on my phone, trying to get something clever but not stupid. Finally landed on 13315, don’t bother, it’s not leet or anything. It’s the plate number my grandparents had going back to the 20s. I have the 1964 version (my birth year) on the front.
The Franconian town, Fürth, uses FÜ for its district code (Unterscheidungszeichen). It’s common to see FÜ – CK ###, FÜ – K ###, or FÜ – KS ###.
If Florida and Georgia have used increasinly popular FE-Schrift, S and 5 would not be mistaken for each other.
Nice typeface.
In the late 1960s Hinds County, Mississippi issued plates with the first three letters GAY, followed by three numbers. Back then most people here assumed that gay just meant happy. Thanks to the news, the code was broken quickly and the county let everyone trade in their tags. I hope someone got a plate that said GAY 269. Oh, Ms Stritto? Call me.
When I saw this on Twitter this morning the best comment was something along the lines of “why does God deliver such humor to the people least able to appreciate it?”
I’m pretty sure that the residents of The Villages (aka, the Florida retirement community that has some of the highest STI transmission rates in the country) would beg to differ
There’s always worse.
Connecticut gave me 01DFAG when I got my Classic Car plate. It was the next in the pile at the DMV.
Doesn’t bother me too much as I drive with a YOM plate, but well. I wonder how their computer let it through.
I’m sure they inspected requested plates more than random issue plates
I’d like to know how she got a license plate that expires 26 months from now. Is that normal for Florida?
In MD I can get one, two, or three years. Maybe the old/prior vehicle reg didn’t end until August? Just guessing, not sure how Florida works.
Most states do that but at 77 do you really want to pay for more than 1 year?
The only other state I have experience with, Colorado, only does one year at a time, so I found it interesting when I moved here and I could do more. And yeah, at 77, probably not too many driving years (or just years) left.
In Pennsylvania you can do 1 or 2 years. Since they don’t refund it if you end up turning it in it’s 1 year at a time
I would happily squeeze her ass if she wanted. Just sayin.
Goin’ ugly early early tonight?
Everybody deserves a good squeeze every now and then, I don’t discriminate.
I’m not really an A55 man. I’d prefer a lady with SQZ 80085 tags.
“Are you clinging tenaciously to my buttocks?”
Leave everything to me!
America Is Saved!
We used to have a neighbor in her late 70s that lived alone with her small poofy dog named Gizmo, and her license plate read:
GIZ N ME
Not sure how the secretary of states office let that one through…
Those cheeky embossing convicts! God love’m!
Well she should just turn that plate in and make A NU START.
I’m surprised the State isn’t willing to take that plate back and issue her one farther up the series, like maybe SQZ A77. It can double as her birthday present.
When Mumma don’t have a squeeze box box any more.
First, it’s so on-brand for Florida to just hand out plates people would kill for in the other 49 states, but would be refused by the DMV in a flash.
Second, can the plate be reassigned? Maybe she could put it on eBay or something? That thing would bring tons of money.
Speaking of on-brand, her car represents the Official Florida State Automobile Brand: Hyundai!
So many rentals in Florida, they must sell them off cheap.
Years ago I had a BMW with a state issued number plate of 069 HOE in QLD australia. My wife refused to drive it for obvious reasons.
Yeah, I’d be embarrassed to drive a Bimmer too.
I’m going to try not to contemplate this the next time I drink some Florida’s Natural orange juice with pulp, for that “home-squeezed” taste.
So in Italy they stomp grapes in Florida they squeeze oranges. The body part used is users choice
Something to keep in mind if you decide to get breakfast at the strip club.
That’s why when I eat at the strip club I always get the muffet
Wait till you see how they make the donuts.
Or the hole in the donut?
As long as she doesn’t let someone else drive her car and do the stop short, because that’s my move
Better than SMLY A55
It’s funny. Only a TYT A55 would fail to see the humor.
Or an A55 HOL
Or DUM A55?