You know how there’s all that talk about artificial intelligence (AI) potentially replacing writers now? And how some automotive websites I could mention are actually run by companies that are using AI to write crappy articles? Sure you do. Well, get this – back in the 1980s, it appears that Lincoln dabbled in AI replacing human talent, too: in this case, car models. Don’t believe me? Look up there! Look at those sexy bald robots trying to get you into a new Lincoln!
Lincoln went full-in on AI models, hiring defense contractor Raytheon to develop robotic models to showcase their cars, replacing expensive and often problematic human models. As you can see, Raytheon did all they could to make these robots nice and sexy, complete with erotic radiation (ER) emitters in seven locations on the robot, capable of broadcasting sexy feelings at a rate of 46 thirsticlons/meter.
Lincoln even developed a sort of “Turing test” for their robotic models: they’d heat them up to human body temperature and moisten the robot’s stainless steel and polished aluminum skins with various lotions, then shove a blindfolded human in a closet with the robot, with instructions to dry-hump whomever they found themselves in the closet with.
The human test subject was not told if they were being placed in a closet with a human or robot, and most of the subjects didn’t seem able to tell the difference, or, if they could, they just didn’t care.
Lincoln’s bold AI experiment ended in 1988 when a malfunctioning robot model slapped the dentures out of 44% of Lincoln’s executive staff and set a break room on fire.
The robots responsible escaped capture and remain at large today. In fact, reports have surfaced that one of them was asking about you.