Big Ford Or Little Ford? 1979 Mercury Cougar vs 1992 Ford Festiva

The term “economy size” can mean different things depending on context. If you’re talking about cars or airplane seats, it means small. But if you’re talking about dish detergent or cat litter or something, the economy size is the big one. That doesn’t have much to do with today’s choices; I just always thought it was strange.

Now, about yesterday: It’s not that I have any particular fondness for the Dodge Stratus, in either coupe or sedan form. But I do believe in letting people enjoy things, and not yucking someone else’s yum for no reason other than to get attention. I felt compelled to defend not only a perfectly serviceable car, but also anyone who loves it, for whatever reason. We’re pro-car here, and to me that means any car, used in any way. (Except that street-takeover crap; those guys can get bent.)

Of course the white Stratus was the better deal. That goes without saying. I wish the dealership selling the red car all the luck in the world; they’ll need it. At half the price, it would still be a decent beater for someone, but for more than five grand, there are much better options out there. Even I will concede that. In both cases, I hope these cars find new owners who take them on awesome adventures and create a bunch of cherished memories. That’s what makes a car great.

You know how some fast food restaurants will sell you any size drink you want for the same price? That’s kind of what we’re doing here. Three thousand bucks, your choice, big or small. They both have their pros and cons. Let’s take a look so you can make your choice.

1979 Mercury Cougar XR-7 – $3,000

Engine/drivetrain: 302 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Riverside, CA

Odometer reading: 81,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

There wasn’t much to like about American cars from the late 1970s. Build quality was crap, and horsepower numbers were pathetic. But there is a category of car that thrived during this time, and it’s a category that I for one miss: the personal luxury coupe. To hell with speed, handling, or economy; these things were all about comfort and presence. This Cougar XR-7 is a classic example of the breed, both the good and the bad.

This car is powered by a 302 cubic inch V8 rated at – wait for it – 134 horsepower. It weighs two tons. You do the math. Gearing is probably not on its side either; in these days before overdrive automatics became commonplace, most cars had very tall final drive ratios to keep the revs down on the highway and improve economy. If you’re looking for acceleration, look elsewhere. It does seem to be reliable, though; the seller says it was just driven across the country with no problem. It leaks a little oil, but I’d be more surprised if it didn’t.

The interior is where these old land yachts really shone, and this one is in surprisingly good shape. It has some cracks in the steering wheel rim, like all old Fords of this era, and the plastic seat backs are faded to pink, but the upholstery is in good condition and the seats look comfy. The air conditioning needs some help, though; the compressor kicks on, but it doesn’t get cold. Sounds like a good time to do an R-134a retrofit.

The paint is absolutely shot, but it only has a little rust – where else? – along the bottom edge of the vinyl top. All those things do is ruin styling and trap water. I will say this for it, though: it wears its age well. Some cars just look like hell with faded paint, but this one manages to look dignified.

1992 Ford Festiva GL – $3,000

Engine/drivetrain: 1.3-liter OHC inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD

Location: Kissimmee, FL

Odometer reading: 116,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

As a result of the same forces that neutered big cars in the late 1970s, small cars were popular throughout the next decade or so. Ford initially filled the small end of its lineup with the Fiesta, an import from Europe, then later with the Escort. But in 1988, a car even smaller than either of them came along: the Festiva. Designed by Mazda and built in Korea by Kia, the Festiva was the butt of a lot of jokes when it first appeared. But then a funny thing happened: it turned out to be a pretty damn good little car.

I always forget that the Festiva was even available with an automatic transmission. Most of them have a four- or five-speed manual, which makes  a lot more sense for a tiny car like this. But us Americans will do almost anything to avoid having to use a clutch; I think the only small cars of this era not available with an automatic were the Yugo and the VW Fox. This automatic is only a three-speed, but that’s probably for the best. An overdrive gear would probably just bog down. The seller says it runs and drives well, and is driven daily.

Yes, it has those silly automatic seat belts. For the first couple of years, the Festiva had regular manual shoulder belts, but it also had a carbureted engine. This one is fuel injected, but it has annoying seat belts. Pick your poison, I guess. Since it’s the fancy GL model, it has air conditioning, but the seller says it needs a recharge – and, of course, a repair on whatever’s leaking that causes it to need to be recharged.

Outside, it’s a little dull and dinged-up, but it looks decent enough. The tinted windows are annoying, but not surprising in Florida. And it wears larger wheels than standard; I can’t place them, though. Late ’90s Honda or Mazda, maybe? In any event, the wheel swap probably makes it easier to find tires. The original 12- or 13-inch tires are almost nonexistent these days.

The funny thing about these two cars is that in a drag race, it would probably be a dead heat. The Cougar would use about four times as much gas doing it, but it would be a hell of a lot more comfortable. It’s all about what you want from a car, I guess. Are you more of a big floaty boat person, or a tiny little go-kart fan?