Choose A Wild Thing: 1979 Chevy Van vs 1981 Mercedes 300SD

Not very many cars are really all that weird from the factory. I mean, sure, there’s Citroën, and other French marques, and the occasional oddball like the Honda Element, but since automakers are in the business of making money, they tend not to stray too far from the beaten path. Auto customizers, be they professional or amateur, have to abide by no such constraints. This week, we’re celebrating weirdly customized cars, starting with these two.

Last week was all about cheap cars with stickshifts, and we ended the week with a four-way duel between cars that wouldn’t be out of place at RADWood. To the surprise of no one, that ultra-clean Toyota RAV4 took home the top prize, with the Mitsubishi Mighty Max coming in a distant second.

The Mighty Max would be a close second for me, but that Olds Achieva still takes the top spot. I don’t usually actually vote in the polls, but yesterday I did, because when I checked the results the total was 665 votes. I had to bump that number up by one.

The credit – or blame, if you don’t like it – for this week’s theme goes to Opposite Lock contributor Dogisbadob, who posted the ad for the Mercedes seen below, as well as a VW New Beetle ute built from a Smyth kit, and suggested that I use both in a Showdown. Well, the Beetle sold, so it’s out of the running. In my search to find something else to compete against the Mercedes, I found some other weird cars, so I have decided to make a week of it. Let’s check out our first pair.

1979 Chevrolet G10 Van – $19,999

Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: North Hollywood, CA

Odometer reading: 133,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

I was a little kid during the custom van craze of the ’70s, so I only experienced it through toys, models, and magazines. As a result, I probably have a romanticized view of it. But still, even today, I can’t help but think they’re cool. I see a van like this, and the six-year-old in me sits up and pays attention.

This is the Chevrolet G-series van, the predecessor to today’s long-running Express van. It’s a “shorty,” riding on a 110-inch wheelbase, and a G10, with a half-ton payload rating. Power comes from, of course, a 350 V8 with a Turbo-Hydramatic 350 transmission. This 350 has been upgraded with aftermarket fuel injection and a few other hot-rod parts. It breathes through functional side pipes, and the seller says it runs well, though they mention “a little issue starting” that might need sorting out.

The side door, as you may have noticed, has been converted from a slider to a gullwing style. Lift it up, and you find a full custom interior, finished in peanut-butter-colored vinyl and obscenely blue shag carpet. It looks like someone skinned Cookie Monster. The seller says it’s all new, so you shouldn’t have any worries about a contact high or any funny stains. It has a sink and a cooler, but the seller says the sink doesn’t work. The air conditioner, however, is all new, and it works just fine.

In the ’70s, a van like this would have had a deep metalflake paint job, with murals on the side, or at least intricate stripes. This one is a newer creation, and it has gone another way: with clearcoat over surface rust to lock in a patina finish. I kinda like it, but I know it’s not to everyone’s tastes. You can always sand it down and repaint it if you want. It has been back-dated a little with a grille from an earlier Chevy van, and it wears the requisite mag wheels and white-letter tires.

1981 Mercedes-Benz 300SD – $11,500

Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 3.0-liter OHC diesel inline 5, four-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Odometer reading: 275,000 miles

Operational status: Has been sitting for a while, needs waking up

Car-based utes are all the rage in Australia, but here in the US there have only been a few over the years: the Ford Ranchero, the Chevy El Camino, the Dodge Rampage/Plymouth Scamp, and the VW Caddy come to mind, but all are long out of production. In recent years, conversion kits have been available for certain cars to remove the rear seat and add a pickup bed, but more than a few enterprising folks have taken it upon themselves to create their own car-to-truck custom jobs. I have seen Mercedes-Benz sedans converted to trucks before, but never one quite like this.

This is the Mercedes 300SD, a standard-wheelbase S-Class sedan powered by a 3.0-liter five-cylinder turbodiesel engine and a four-speed automatic transmission. These old diesels have a reputation for lasting forever, and this one already has 275,000 miles to its name. How many of those were accumulated before the truck conversion, I have no idea. It has been sitting for some time; the seller revived it a few months ago, but it hasn’t run since then. Old simple diesels like this seem to be able to withstand long slumbers, but of course you’ll want to change all the fluids, and probably a lot of the rubber parts holding them in.

This is the best view of the interior we get, and it raises some questions. What’s that giant lump behind the front seats? Is that part of one of the rear door panels, with a big hole where the door handle used to be? What remains of the interior looks all right, about what you’d expect from an old high-mileage Mercedes. But the truck conversion doesn’t look particularly well thought-out inside.

It’s pretty damn weird outside; it looks like the trunk was elongated as part of the truck conversion, and it looks really tail-heavy and ungainly. The sedan rear window was just moved forward, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the rear quarter windows are just the rear door windows partially covered up. I wonder if the rear window could have been flipped around and installed backwards, to make it a concave curve like an El Camino’s rear window? The bed could have been a little longer that way, and maybe the ass wouldn’t have had to be quite so long.

Both of these are going to be hard sells for most people. It’s going to take exactly the right buyer to appreciate either one of them. But that perfect buyer is going to absolutely love them. I’m assuming that buyer is not among my audience here, but just remember we’re dealing with hypotheticals. So, hypothetically, which one would you rather have?