Not very many cars are really all that weird from the factory. I mean, sure, there’s Citroën, and other French marques, and the occasional oddball like the Honda Element, but since automakers are in the business of making money, they tend not to stray too far from the beaten path. Auto customizers, be they professional or amateur, have to abide by no such constraints. This week, we’re celebrating weirdly customized cars, starting with these two.
Last week was all about cheap cars with stickshifts, and we ended the week with a four-way duel between cars that wouldn’t be out of place at RADWood. To the surprise of no one, that ultra-clean Toyota RAV4 took home the top prize, with the Mitsubishi Mighty Max coming in a distant second.
The Mighty Max would be a close second for me, but that Olds Achieva still takes the top spot. I don’t usually actually vote in the polls, but yesterday I did, because when I checked the results the total was 665 votes. I had to bump that number up by one.
The credit – or blame, if you don’t like it – for this week’s theme goes to Opposite Lock contributor Dogisbadob, who posted the ad for the Mercedes seen below, as well as a VW New Beetle ute built from a Smyth kit, and suggested that I use both in a Showdown. Well, the Beetle sold, so it’s out of the running. In my search to find something else to compete against the Mercedes, I found some other weird cars, so I have decided to make a week of it. Let’s check out our first pair.
1979 Chevrolet G10 Van – $19,999
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: North Hollywood, CA
Odometer reading: 133,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
I was a little kid during the custom van craze of the ’70s, so I only experienced it through toys, models, and magazines. As a result, I probably have a romanticized view of it. But still, even today, I can’t help but think they’re cool. I see a van like this, and the six-year-old in me sits up and pays attention.
This is the Chevrolet G-series van, the predecessor to today’s long-running Express van. It’s a “shorty,” riding on a 110-inch wheelbase, and a G10, with a half-ton payload rating. Power comes from, of course, a 350 V8 with a Turbo-Hydramatic 350 transmission. This 350 has been upgraded with aftermarket fuel injection and a few other hot-rod parts. It breathes through functional side pipes, and the seller says it runs well, though they mention “a little issue starting” that might need sorting out.
The side door, as you may have noticed, has been converted from a slider to a gullwing style. Lift it up, and you find a full custom interior, finished in peanut-butter-colored vinyl and obscenely blue shag carpet. It looks like someone skinned Cookie Monster. The seller says it’s all new, so you shouldn’t have any worries about a contact high or any funny stains. It has a sink and a cooler, but the seller says the sink doesn’t work. The air conditioner, however, is all new, and it works just fine.
In the ’70s, a van like this would have had a deep metalflake paint job, with murals on the side, or at least intricate stripes. This one is a newer creation, and it has gone another way: with clearcoat over surface rust to lock in a patina finish. I kinda like it, but I know it’s not to everyone’s tastes. You can always sand it down and repaint it if you want. It has been back-dated a little with a grille from an earlier Chevy van, and it wears the requisite mag wheels and white-letter tires.
1981 Mercedes-Benz 300SD – $11,500
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 3.0-liter OHC diesel inline 5, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Odometer reading: 275,000 miles
Operational status: Has been sitting for a while, needs waking up
Car-based utes are all the rage in Australia, but here in the US there have only been a few over the years: the Ford Ranchero, the Chevy El Camino, the Dodge Rampage/Plymouth Scamp, and the VW Caddy come to mind, but all are long out of production. In recent years, conversion kits have been available for certain cars to remove the rear seat and add a pickup bed, but more than a few enterprising folks have taken it upon themselves to create their own car-to-truck custom jobs. I have seen Mercedes-Benz sedans converted to trucks before, but never one quite like this.
This is the Mercedes 300SD, a standard-wheelbase S-Class sedan powered by a 3.0-liter five-cylinder turbodiesel engine and a four-speed automatic transmission. These old diesels have a reputation for lasting forever, and this one already has 275,000 miles to its name. How many of those were accumulated before the truck conversion, I have no idea. It has been sitting for some time; the seller revived it a few months ago, but it hasn’t run since then. Old simple diesels like this seem to be able to withstand long slumbers, but of course you’ll want to change all the fluids, and probably a lot of the rubber parts holding them in.
This is the best view of the interior we get, and it raises some questions. What’s that giant lump behind the front seats? Is that part of one of the rear door panels, with a big hole where the door handle used to be? What remains of the interior looks all right, about what you’d expect from an old high-mileage Mercedes. But the truck conversion doesn’t look particularly well thought-out inside.
It’s pretty damn weird outside; it looks like the trunk was elongated as part of the truck conversion, and it looks really tail-heavy and ungainly. The sedan rear window was just moved forward, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the rear quarter windows are just the rear door windows partially covered up. I wonder if the rear window could have been flipped around and installed backwards, to make it a concave curve like an El Camino’s rear window? The bed could have been a little longer that way, and maybe the ass wouldn’t have had to be quite so long.
Both of these are going to be hard sells for most people. It’s going to take exactly the right buyer to appreciate either one of them. But that perfect buyer is going to absolutely love them. I’m assuming that buyer is not among my audience here, but just remember we’re dealing with hypotheticals. So, hypothetically, which one would you rather have?
My reaction while looking at the Mercedes: Look how they massacred my boy.
I picked the van because it seems like more thought went into the customization. That Benz is way to tail heavy and I think it would be genuinely scary to load much weight into the bed. The van is not exactly a good value as it stands, for $20k the faux-tina paint job is not going to cut it.
The van. I am inspired by the concept. The interior is hideous but I could make cheap changes. Huge flat screen on the ceiling, connected to the up pointing roof camera for the sunroof effect. Better plumbing options and a descrete paint job. Hide VanEssa in plain sight. Hell, I might have the 8 track from dad’s 77 Corvette around. And think of the entire Whitney catalogue of applicable mischief. Rolling art.
Mercedes for me. It’s way cheaper and I’m not a fan of the faux-patina look. If that van had a proper paint job, then it might have swung my vote.
And for $20K, I expect a half decent paint job. Not the faux-patina bullshit.
On today’s edition of I Can’t Believe I’m Voting For This:
The Chevy Perversion Van.
Alright Mr.Tucker, in the future, Please lay off of the edibles when you are creating these showdowns. 😉
Can I just spend $10k on cocaine? Seems like a better investment and more fun than either of these things. No? Fine, ute because it’s cheaper.
That van is practical and positively delightful. Does the seller have any experience with getting it thru cali smog? Is the engine CARB compliant? Asking for a friend
Whole! Who would have thought to put an El Camino together with an S class Benz? I had a job where the senior partner had a 1987 Mercedes Benz 300SDL. The other one let us use an El Camino as a shop truck. It would have unthinkable to combine the two.
there was the Cadillac Mirage in teh 70s, which was also luxury car + EL Camino
Both are overpriced but the van is ready to go. The Benz is hiding stuff. Lots of stuff. Gimme the van man.
I think there is a loooooootttt of body filler in there.
The Benz might have started life as a station wagon; would make the tailgate easier to create?
Prices are both terrible, but I like the exterior of the van. These shorty “full-size” vans look so cool. The interior was a hard no until I saw it was “new,” which hopefully just means you won’t catch anything from it. It’s still a no, but if I had to choose it might not be a dealbreaker.
The Merc concept is cool, but man is the execution leaving something to be desired, and getting it running well and staying there is probably going to be a major headache.
Van it is, I guess.
That van looks as if it smells like coconut and regret.
That may be the complete opposite of a sliding door. Instead of creating a large opening with minimal clearance, this thing need two open parking spaces to the right if you want to open the door.
At this price, I went with the Mercedes.
Am concerned how well the van door seals
The van for me. We just bought a house with a red shag carpet lined conversation pit, another similar creation in the basement, and curved carpeted walls. It would go absolutely perfectly with our time capsule house.
Yes we got the carpets deep cleaned, they’re original but look brand new!
Nice! I’d love a conversation pit in my house.
Why would they choose such clashing colors between the vinyl and carpet in that van? Mechanically, I’ll choose it over the ute, but if that carpet were reddish, purple or orange, it might actually work. The outside can always get painted, and it probably deserves it.
The Van, hands down. It’s low miles, has a beautiful patina, it’s completely absurd, but parts are easy to find. Mercedes diesel that “needs waking up” means you’re going to spend the next 2 months chasing vacuum leaks – and there’s about 400 miles of vacuum line in that car.
Van? DO NOT WANT. So I guess it’s the diesel pickup for me, and folks will assume I’m a successful lawyer with a sideline in landscaping.
I already own a van. I don’t own a pickup truck. I guess I’m saying I need another diesel Merc. I would ditch the whitewalls ASAP. Maybe add a slight lift to make it slightly obnoxious.
I’m quite sure a blacklight would illuminate the whole of the van’s interior.
No.
Interior is new and presumably clean-ish but I still don’t want it.
A German El Camino would be Der Weg.
You have to put a bade on it that say Das Straße
Both no, but we must choose so I’ll take the terrible conversion Merc. It’s cheaper, and the van scares me.
I’ll take the van for half the asking price. But I’d consider the Mercedes at 1/4 of the asking price.
I’ll take the van. It looks like it would be a great road trip machine, as long as you can afford the gas.
Oof. Hard pass on both at those prices, but since Mark didn’t give us the option of opting out on today’s selection, I guess I will go with the van. I want to vote for the Mercedes, but it just looks way too poorly done to ever trust it. The van’s paint is definitely not my taste, and the vertical door is obnoxious, and the interior is tacky, but at least the van likely won’t fall apart as you drive like the Mercedes ute.
I picked the van, but I’m scared of what it might smell like.