Home » The Cupra DarkRebel Is An Official Concept Car That Doesn’t Actually Exist

The Cupra DarkRebel Is An Official Concept Car That Doesn’t Actually Exist

Cupra Darkrebel Topshot
ADVERTISEMENT

This is the Cupra DarkRebel, and it’s a car that doesn’t exist. Some form of potentially immobile show car based on it may exist in the future, but for now, the DarkRebel is a car for the internet. Well, not really for the internet, but on the internet. In the words of Seat-spinoff Cupra, the DarkRebel is “a fully-virtual sports car,” which means it only currently exists in your browser.

cupra Unveils The Darkrebel A Fully Virtual Sports Car With Unfiltered Cupra Dna 04 Hq

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

The general idea is that configurations generated by people should theoretically have some impact on an eventual show car and people can configure a Cupra DarkRebel at – wait for it – hyperconfigurator dot metahype dot com. Once you punch this mildly nauseating combination of buzzwords into your browser, you’re greeted with a screen that says the following:

Select your degree of exponentiation and create your own Cupra DarkRebel. Your version, as well as the ones from the Cupra Tribe, will influence the character of the final physical model.

Degree of exponentiation? I know that PR wants to make this stunt seem futuristic but all the copy around it has the same idle-minded inauthenticity as a movie character trying to “hack the mainframe” while clearly punching gibberish into MS-DOS.

Cupra Unveils The Darkrebel A Fully Virtual Sports Car With Unfiltered Cupra Dna 17 Hq

ADVERTISEMENT

Hit start on the configurator, and you’re presented with what I can only assume are three hypothetical trim levels of Cupra DarkRebel: Two, three, and infinite. Except the first to are actually called square and cube. Try to prevent your eyes from rolling so far back into your head that your spine slides out your anus. The two and three look kind of like concept cars that could actually exist, but the infinite has more glowing surfaces than a public toilet under a blacklight.

Select a trim level, let the next screen load, and a disclaimer pops up saying that “You have 3 minutes left to finish your Cupra DarkRebel. Please hurry up!” I’m sorry, what? Three minutes? When was the last time you did anything in under three minutes, much less configured a car you’ve never seen before in your life? Still, it’s worth a shot, so let’s find out what’s what.

Cupra Darkrebel Configurator

After hitting enter, the virtual gates open to a configurator that’s surprisingly clunky and imprecise. There are colors to choose from although you need to move vaguely-marked sliders to select one, and the exterior lighting has a handful of patterns that can be cycled through. In addition, certain surfaces on the virtual car look unfinished, like the jagged edge near the bottom of the front bumper. If this impresses anyone, old flash-based configurators will blow their wormholes into alternate dimensions.

Cupra Darkrebel Configurator Interior

ADVERTISEMENT

Weirdly enough, interior view doesn’t let you do anything but look around, and some random avatar is waving at you from atop the steering column. Frankly, the graphics in here could be a lot better, as some of the shadows have jagged inconsistencies and surfaces like the upholstery are lacking detail. It all feels very state-of-the-art circa 2011.

At the moment, the Cupra DarkRebel is part of the greater metaverse concept, integrated into a world of NFTs and virtual experiences. We’re talking about a digital place where users could theoretically eat virtual food without any of the glorious flavors and aromas of actual food, wear virtual outfits that cost as much as real clothes, and look at virtual cars that will never be tangible. What pathetic bastard looks at the world we live in and thinks things would be better online? Have they never smelled full-bodied petrichor before a summer storm, run their hand through the breeze, laughed with good friends at last call or pondered the stars?

Cupra Unveils The Darkrebel A Fully Virtual Sports Car With Unfiltered Cupra Dna 12 Hq

People who are too afraid to live can keep their perpetual hell of microtransactions, their toasters connected to the internet for some reason, and their paranoia of camera doorbells and neighborhood social media. I’ll take the real thing every single time, which is why I’m not having this virtual DarkRebel concept until Cupra builds a real one. Give me a real shitbox over a virtual sports car any day of the week.

(Photo credits: Cupra)

ADVERTISEMENT

Support our mission of championing car culture by becoming an Official Autopian Member.

Relatedbar

Got a hot tip? Send it to us here. Or check out the stories on our homepage.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
6 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mike Smith
Mike Smith
10 months ago

Real OEM’s with some actual credibility do non-existent concept cars now? Alpha Motors is going to be *so* excited!

Lokki
Lokki
10 months ago

What part of “Vaporware” don’t you understand?

Maybe if I called it “Non-fungible Transportation?”

Last edited 10 months ago by Lokki
Soso Tsundere
Soso Tsundere
10 months ago

I’ll save my crypto/scam bucks for the Cupra Edgelord, which is the equally non-existent crossover version that has 5 spoilers.

Data
Data
10 months ago
Reply to  Soso Tsundere

Wingo from Cars is not impressed with your 5 spoilers.
https://pixarcars.fandom.com/wiki/Wingo

Bork Bork
Bork Bork
10 months ago
Reply to  Data

Wingo ate my baby.

James Kohler
James Kohler
10 months ago

What you’re describing here is Star Citizen. Over there they are dropping literal car buying amounts of money for …….virtual space ships because “They look good™” and I can only imagine what goes on inside Metaverse. I’ll stick to spending a few bucks to make my virtual space marine vibrant colors so I can blast other brightly colored space marines.

6
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x