Good morning! On today’s Shitbox Showdown, we’re checking out a couple of the most expensive cheap cars around: luxury cars. But before we do, let’s see how yesterday’s Japanese coupes fared:
Close one, but a clear win for the Nissan. That’s the one I’d prefer too. I mean, it’s got T-tops, a stick, and a digital dash! What more could you want?
The Discord was awash in some interesting choices today, but the prices were a little steep. So I’ll save those for Friday, when we up the ante a little. Instead, today, I’ve found two cars that only could be expensive: an old cheap Porsche and an even older and cheaper Jag. Let’s take a look.
1998 Jaguar XJ8 L – $3,300
Engine/drivetrain: 4.0 liter dual overhead cam V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Austin, TX
Odometer reading: 123,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep!
“England and America,” the saying goes, “are two countries separated by a common language.” It’s attributed to the playwright George Bernard Shaw, but I don’t think he had British luxury sedans in mind when he said it. Regardless, there is some disagreement over the pronunciation of this car’s marque: is it “Jag-wahr,” or “Jag-you-were?” (All I know is it’s definitely not “Jag-wire” as the local radio ads here in Portland irritatingly say.) However you say it, it’s a name that has come to stand for old-world refinement, exceptional performance, and appalling repair bills.
This is the Jaguar XJ8, the first official V8-powered XJ sedan (those Chevy small-block conversions from the ’70s don’t count). This car is from Ford’s ownership of the famous leaping cat, a time when build quality was decent, but new technologies made the cars far more complex than they once had been. This is the long-wheelbase XJ8, adding an extra five inches of rear seat space to the traditional Jaguar grace and pace. Power comes from a quad-cam V8, fed to a traditional Jaguar independent rear end through a five-speed automatic.
The seller says this car runs and drives very well, and to prove it, they’ve included photos of it on a trip all over the west. It’s daily driven, and has recently received a new water pump, battery, and alternator. Several other maintenance items were taken care of a couple years ago, though there’s no indication of the mileage since then. There is also no mention of the timing chain; Jaguar V8s can have issues with the chain tensioner, leading to expensive problems. Upgrade kits are available, and it would be worthwhile asking if this car has had the tensioner replaced.
And of course, being a twenty-five year old Jaguar, it’s not without its issues, mostly peripheral electrical items. It’s all stuff you can live without, but it makes the car feel cheap and broken, even if it runs fine. On the plus side, it’s in the best color combination for a Jag sedan (fight me), and it’s in good cosmetic shape.
2004 Porsche Cayenne S – $3,700
Engine/drivetrain: 4.5 liter dual overhead cam V8, six-speed automatic, AWD
Location: Dallas, TX
Odometer reading: 200,000 miles
Runs/drives? Sure does!
There was a time when a Porsche SUV would have been an anathema. But this car has been around for over twenty years now, and it has been a big sales hit. Even the Porsche faithful have gotten used to it, and now it’s Ferrari fans’ turn to be outraged at an SUV. And the idea of the Cayenne, an SUV that handles like a Porsche, is pretty cool if you think about it.
This Cayenne is the S model, with a 335 horsepower V8 driving all four wheels. It has a six-speed automatic, with Porsche’s “Tiptronic” manual-shifting option. It isn’t quite the same as having a clutch and an H-pattern gearshift, but it’s better than the mushy 3 speed automatic that too many Porsche 928s got stuck with. This one is said to run and drive well, and with 200,000 miles on the clock, it must have been cared for fairly well.
Another thing that jumps out at me is the receiver hitch on the back. “Porsche” and “towing” didn’t used to belong in the same sentence, but this car has a towing capacity of 7,700 pounds, so it will make short work of your horse trailer or small vintage Airstream or whatever. And it’ll be a hell of a lot nicer to drive when you’re not towing than a Tahoe or something with an equivalent rating.
This car looks like it’s in really nice shape, actually. But it’s a complicated beast, and when (not if) things do go south, the cost to fix it could be exorbitant. Gotta pay to play, and all that.
The nice thing about either of these cars is that they’re guaranteed to make you new friends, either with a specialist mechanic, or with the UPS guy dropping off boxes of parts, if you are more DIY-inclined. But when they’re working, they’re both very comfortable, enjoyable cars to drive, and a lot more entertaining than an Avalon or something. Which one are you more willing to gamble on?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I can hear the purring from the east coast.
Whut’s new PussyCat?? / Whoa-oh-oh-oh
I see the problem with the Jaguar. They replaced the “break fluid” too late. I’m guessing they ran out early-on and missed a fill-up.
Seriously-though. There is an appropriately-long list of things not quite working on the Jag in contrast to the overly brief description of the Porsche. I’m drawn to the Jag with fresh break fluid.
Jag=classy
Porsche=frumpy
Easy decision on this one.
NOPE. This Porsche made it to 200k on luck and luck alone. That’s a 4.5. Lokasil. Guaranteed every single cylinder in that block resembles the moon. Known engineering defect for which there is no cure other than sleeving the block. LN Engineering will hook you up if you’ve got $5k for a shortblock and the pistons and crank aren’t scrap. (They are.)
Jag has a similar problem (Nikasil,) but less severe and highly dependent on maintenance and fueling. If the bores look good at 123k, then they’re going to be good at 323k. Cam tensioners, water pump, and all you have to worry about is Lucas, Prince of Darkness.
I find myself drawn to 20-30 year old Jags whenever I am trawling through the classifieds. One day the urge to have a Jag will overcome my common sense. It doesn’t help that my wife likes Jaaaags.
Jaguars are truly iconic cars (except the Ford ones) for good reason. And honestly, most of their stuff is dead nuts reliable because the most advanced technology they’ve ever seen is a touch-tone telephone. (Which explains the electrical, don’t it?) The only thing that stopped the X308 was Ford being Ford when they bought the joint.
Otherwise? It’s an old Jag with the usual incremental improvements on a budget. Revised dashboard. New motor based on an old motor. Somebody else’s transmission (ZF 5HP24 in this case. Which despite being used by BMW and VAG has a stellar reputation for overall reliability with proper maintenance, being a fully mature conventional design.)
And this one, honestly, isn’t that bad for a 25 year old Jag. Or a 25 year old anything. None of the fixes are particularly hard, just inconvenient. Like the status display? It’s literally just a burned out T10 bulb. But getting it requires pulling the whole IPC. A/C is probably just dead seals. Passenger seat harness got loose and got chewed up, most likely. It’s no better or worse than you’ll find on any other 25 year old car, realistically. But with a lot less rust.
With those early Cayennes, it’s only a matter of time before cylinder scoring starts. Bravo on reaching 200k though
Maaan, that Jaaaaaag still looks good. I’d love to prowl around in that. And when it dies and I sadly send it on its way, I’ll always look like a baller when I list it among the cars I’ve owned.
The Porsche just looks so… blah.
This is the correct answer.
Yeah I keep being drawn to listings for these XJs. Especially XJRs for obvious reasons. I think you have to consider them as one of the all-time great exterior designs.
I’ve love to buy one, bulletproof it as much as you can, and daily it. But that would require a pile of money to just throw away for a cool car.
Yep, this is the only color combo I accept for an XJ.
With big cushy sedans all but dead, the XJ is the more novel experience than one of many dozens of luxury SUVs to choose from. I’ll take the XJ.
Jaguar for me, when the engine/trans gives up it’s time for an LS kit.
BRG over Tan for me. The XJ8 is just a classic look and that color combo is indeed the best you can get.
Green Any Car > Other Cars
I was daydreaming on Porsche’s optional extended color palette, and of all of the colors and shades they offer, I kind-of settled on Porsche Racing Green as my dream Panamera car color. (Assuming I’d actually see some of these colors in person before choosing.)
But that’s the dream.
I think the 911T I’d pair with it would be one of the vivid blue colors. Maybe orange.
I actually prefer the Jaguar to the Porsche, but I voted for the Cayenne because I already have a lawn ornament.
The Jag you could roll up to the country club in and people would still respect you. You like classic luxury. The SUV is still an SUV even with the crest on the hood they just look less special now. Nobody ever said BRG Jag does not look special if its cared for.
I want the Jaaaaaaaag, but only because it’s the long version of the XJ8.
I don’t see those often, and the extended wheelbase option is the only one I’m interested in.
(That said, I’m currently shopping for a used Cayenne and not a used Jaguar.)
Voted Jaaaagggg for the color combo and just like it better.
I would usually give the nod to a stately sedan over any crossover for my luxury side piece, but the disparity between the condition of these vehicles is too great to ignore. The Porsche wins this battle today.
Tough call, but I also went Jag. As I started reading the article I was thinking “If only it was a Vanden Plas…”, ultimately decided even a normal XJ8 is still pretty nice at this price point. The Cayenne is fine, but nothing special, so I went with the more interesting option.
Dear lord I’m glad the gaudy, fake wood plastic trim fad has largely died. Those interiors didn’t look good to me when new and certainly haven’t aged well. That jag sure is sexy on the outside though.
Fake wood? I doubt it. This is a Jaguar, not some common Buick.
Maybe you’re right, the door piece and shifter trim just look a bit too shiny for 20 YO wood. It just strikes me as fake class vs the proper elegance of the exterior
“The wood is all good.” -Jag wisdom
Jaaaaaaag for me please. It’ll look prettier in my driveway when it inevitably breaks down and I contemplate if I’ve had enough.
Jaaag, please!
I do have a small issue with this statement, though:
The ad mentions that the AC doesn’t work and there is an ABS light on. Having no AC in Texas would be a dealbreaker for me, but – depending on your locality – the ABS light may interfere with getting the car inspected and registered. That’s a non-trivial issue.
This particular Cayenne, unfortunately, has the least interesting exterior and presence I’ve seen in a long time. The phrase “aggressively bland” comes to mind.
I had a ’98 XJ8. I really liked it, but it had lived a hard life so I traded it in for my current 2006 XJ8. This one seems well maintained and yes I ended up having to do the chain tensioners (I asked my usual guy if he could do it and his reply was “it’s all nuts and bolts, Jags are no different”). This isn’t even really all that many miles. The driver’s seat is a bit worn but so was mine, and let’s face it no one does an interior like Jaguar. Add in the secure knowledge that you won’t be seeing yourself at every intersection. At $3300 even if it explodes after a year you still had a great experience, because c’mon, it’s a Jaguar and doesn’t look like an old bar of soap.
Easy pick for the Jag, just keep in mind these are “cozy” cars so if you and your three friends are bigger guys you’re gonna want to take a friend’s car instead.
*Edited to add I just realized it’s the LWB version so strike that last thought. I wish mine had been this version, it was always so tight in back.
If I’m going to be broke down on the side of the road, I am going to do it in style. Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag all the way!
I’ll take the Cayenne and turn it into a off-roader just for fun. When it dies, it dies
This is a tough one, but even as someone who’s openly Porschepilled I have to go Jaaaaaag because it’s a more desirable model. Hoopty Cayennes are a dime a dozen, but you don’t really see XJs from this era that are in this nice of shape often. Electrical gremlins aside, this car looks good and has clearly been owned by someone who cares about it. It’s also, as you state, in the best Jaguar color combination.
If it was an X Type or something I’d lean Porsche, but it’s a genuine Luxobarge…aka a proper Jaaaaaag, V8 and all. I’ve said this many times, but as someone who loves Porsches I’ve made a promise to myself that if I ever buy one it’s not going to be a damn SUV. I get that Cayennes and even Macans are very, very good for what they are and do the badge justice…but I just can’t help but feel like I’d be a poser driving around in one.
At the end of the day they’re mainly VAG parts bin cars. Cayennes of this era are gussied up Tuareg and Macans share the MQB platform with the Golf and Jetta…not to mention the base engine is the godforsaken EA888. I’m not sure about the current Cayenne-does it share a platform with the Atlas? Anyway…if I’m paying the Porsche tax I want it to be on a 911, Boxster, Caymen, etc. I would also be down with a second gen Panamera, mainly because of how gorgeous it is. But a Porsche crossover? Blahhhh. 20 years later I still struggle to get past the stigma.
I picked the Jaguar. The interior is in good condition, at least a broke pimp can still look good in a good looking car, especially in BR green. I like the Porsche, but that never ending sea of grey is a turn off.
I actually like the Cayenne, but you had me at BRG