You could drive a Model T Ford in a Benetton sweatsuit and it would be fine. You need not wear a Savile Row tailored suit to drive an Aston DB5. Still, more often than not piloting a vehicle will either consciously or unconsciously affect your manner of dress. At the same time, what you’re wearing often points to what kind of car you drive. What examples of this can you think of?
Come on, you’re an Autopian. Tell me you don’t sit in a restaurant and try to match the patrons with the cars you see out the window in the parking lot.
For example, if the guy yelling profanities at the waitress about how long he’s been waiting for his food is clad in a Ferrari baseball cap, prancing horse logo jacket, and those signature Rossa Corsa Pumas, I can say with virtual certainty that he does not drive a Maranello product. No, he arrived in the rust-bubbled-door-bottom, twenty-year-old, 200,000 mile “murdered out” AMG E-Class you rolled your eyes at on the way in. Spoiler alert: he’ll be waiting for his food longer than his Check Engine light has been on.
If there is a Ferrari parked outside the restaurant, its owner likely the slightly disheveled-looking seventy-year-old in a wrinkled T-shirt and khakis. His meal materializes almost before he sits down since he’s always “how’s your daughter doing?” to the waitress and puts down a fresh C-note as a tip after finishing his artisan cheeseburger. His portfolio made more today than most people do all year, or all decade, and that waitress works hard, doggone it.
Thirty years from now, some lady with a restored 2026 Toyota Sienna will show up at a “CyberWood” car show dressed in “period 2020s attire” like an oversized sweatshirt with LAKE LIFE and a big boat anchor graphic on it, plus Lululemon-knockoff Kirkland yoga pants and pink Hoka sneakers. She’ll win Best In Show.
We know these observations don’t always ring true. You’ll never see our Griffin Riley wearing white tube socks and tucking a Corvette shirt into his shorts, do you?
Let’s hear from you. How would you dress if you owned a certain car? What fits broadcast the type of car the wearer likely owns?
topshot: NBC Television
Yes. I wear clothes. Because the law says I have to.
Not really, except that with my older cars, I tend not to wear anything I wouldn’t mind getting a little oil or grease on 99 times out of 100, it probably won’t be a problem, but that one time that it is, I don’t want to be wearing my good Bruno Magli driving loafers, for example. I did used to try and keep a pair of coveralls in each car, but that apparently was too much effort for me to follow through on and I stopped trying to make it a thing
Also, I have one 1980s car, and maybe tend to wear my Members Only jacket in that one more frequently than others
Why yes, one of my cars does not have a driver side heater. So when it’s slightly chilly outside I throw on a few extra layers or a car blanket.
Yeah…when I drive the old Mini or the MGB I do tend to put on an Andy Capp “flat cap”, Cliche? Yup.
I dress more nicely when I take the old MBs out than for basic utility drives to the store. It’s silly.
Toyota 4Runner: Large dog (German Shepherd, Husky, something like that) in the back.
Driver: Oakleys, probably. Either a golf polo or an UnderArmour shirt. 5.11 or equivalent cargo pants. Depending on whether this is the southwestern or Appalachian flavor of 4Runner owner, the shoes will either be La Sportivas or Danners. Somewhere in the car is assuredly a knife or multi-tool.
I could never drive a Volvo semi truck. I hate wearing pajamas and flip flops
But then you get the fun of being yelled at by 6 random people at once whenever you step out of the cab to take a leak at an OSHA or MSHA regulated facility
Jeans or chinos if going to a meeting, Columbia hiking boots or Hoka sneaks, golf shirt or one of a 100 band tshirts. In the winter I cover it all with a down filled black leather bomber cause its eastern Canada outside.
I have no idea what this means or if it is relevant to the conversation
My general outfit is hiking boots, cargo shorts and a Hawaiian.
What am I driving? How far? How hot is it? Will there be snacks? How messy? How likely is it that the thing I’m driving will break down? Should I bring a sheet of cardboard or knee pads? Did I pack disposable gloves? Paper towels? A t-shirt or spray suit in case I don’t want to ruin the Hawaiian? How shitty is this shitbox?
Dressing for automotive success involves a lot of variables.
There should be a line graph with a perfect 45 degree angle heading up and to the right that involves proximity to any 80’s half ton truck and urgency to find flannel and a ball cap with an ammunition company logo on it.
When I did the Model T driving class at WAAAM many people tried to go period correct. I rocked an old style cap and an Autopian member tee. If I ever own one that will be the uniform.
Whenever I’m in the SBW I wear something disposable ( with clean undies) in case I need to use my shirt to extinguish a biodegradable wiring harness fire.
If I ever get something ‘merican from the 70s I’m shaving the bottom off the goatee and sport a gray Burt Reynolds ‘stache and cowboy boots.
I think the cap is just perfect. Like how the proper headgear is usually Homer’s must-have when he embarks on a new adventure. House sitting for Mr. Burns? A top hat of course.
And the reading glasses whenever he has to look serious
I drive a regular-cab 4-cylinder, 5-speed 2WD pickup with rocker panels that are so rusted out they’re practically nonexistent.
I wear jeans, (sometimes with warn knees) T-shirts, (sometimes 30-year-old concert ones with a hole here and there) and throw on an old flannel once Fall arrives.
When it gets cooler, I’ll throw on a brown hoodie. When it snows, I’ll be wearing a Carhartt jacket.
What are warn knees?
I drive a Subaru, therefore I am wearing flannel. Sometimes I wear a vest over said flannel. Sometimes I compliment that with an old ball cap.
I drive old Subarus. I fit the mountain/outdoors athlete stereotype: adidas track pants, sweat pants, or shorts, old cotton T-shirts, some 20-30+ years old and dog chewed, Mountain Hardwear/Patagonia/adidas Terrex jackets/hoodies with numerous patches, some 20-30 years old, flip flops or trail runners and sometimes I wear cross country ski boots into the grocery store.
I’m an urban Subaru driver, but I dress as though me and my Subaru could go to the wilderness anytime. Mostly I use it for blasting through snowy streets that haven’t been plowed yet.
There are some regional variations. Various Subaru models have stereotype that fits across the country based in weather. Jeans or shorts and tee or jacket and often a hat. Sometimes a flannel. Basically engineers who make $300k or less a year look. C4 Corvette is always jorts or cargo shorts new balance and a tee or Hawaiian shirt.
There is the southern women driving a full size luxury suv. Like Escalades and Yukons. The big Mercedes and Lexus SUV often too. That tends to be hair up some black shirt or dress maybe some kind of animals print. Lots of rings and jewelry. Sort of like the bad moms movie people.
If you aren’t wearing boots of some kind with a ranch hand style bumper on a full size truck it looks out of place.
Looks weird if you are driving a step van and not wearing shorts.
I think you are obligated to rep the official Corvette uniform if you have one. Either a Hawaiian shirt or white golf shirt embroidered with Corvette emblem, jorts, woven leather belt with cell phone pouch, bright white New Balance or Air Monarchs. A Corvette isn’t just a car, its a lifestyle, embrace it
For c4 yes for sure and maybe c3. C4 is peak boomer Corvette uniform. C5 maybe but there were enough genx with them when they were new and they didn’t do that nonsense. C6 same thing. Idc about c7 , c8 is in another world. As are c1 and c2. C4 is really the boomer nerd version that caused that whole mess. I can’t look at one with our seeing tube socks, jorts, new balance, golf shirts, and Hawaiian shirts. C2 I think goes better with a suit and skinny tie or khaki and a Hawaiian.
You need to go to more car shows and see who’s exhibiting their C8s
I’ve seen the guys who buy clothes from John Daly. I’ve also seen crypto bros and fiance bro. And kids you have to wonder where they got the money. I’ve seen the neerd boomers show up in the same outfit in teslas too especially cyber trucks.
Whatever car I might drive has no impact on what I wear, I’m basically dressing like a hobo regardless.
I drive a GX 550 and when I’m wearing white collar monkey suit work clothes at the gas station people look at me like I’m supposed to be wearing Columbia or The North Face.
The cars that change how their owners dress the most? Corvettes. You live and die in jorts.
And often paired with some sort of Corvette club t-shirt, I find.
…and their species comes home to “Hot Reno Nights” every August where they come to be around their own kind.
I drive an FR-S. I own precisely one Hoonigan cap and don’t know where it is. I also almost always wear jeans and Carhartt tees everywhere, unless it’s a family gathering and then it’s a a sweater or polo depending on the weather. More often than not at a show I’ll wear my UP 4014 hat or something from a local attraction.
I don’t fit the stereotype for anything other than maybe blue collar but center leaning.
Big badass 71 – 78 ElDorado: Cowboy boots, jeans, white collar shirt, Sam Elliot mustache, Stetson on top.
Much like no woman other than Farrah can pull off her hair style no other man can pull off the Sam Elliot mustache. Maybe Ron Swanson but certainly not The actress who plays him
The state uniform is jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup. A fleece and a puffer if seasonally appropriate. This often is accompanied by several large dogs and a Subaru. Not sure what comes first though.
So we aren’t allowed to mention m a etc? Give us a chance to edit it out at least. The roided-out bros in their bro-dozers with the blue-line Americans flag and the confederate flag, usually they have on cowboy hats with some gun falling out of their pockets.
Sure as long as we mention the imitation hippie driving a EV, used to be Prius, with a 20 year out of date manbun with socks and Birkenstock sandals. Really pickup trucks have been top selling vehicles for over 20 years and you think it is just redneck
Sorry Bishop, but you’re wrong. I have the uniform. And I’m literally writing this while wearing my New Balance 2002Rs.
Good man, you’re doing the right thing.
Do you have the members only jacket and the short shorts?
Mister Spyder: I’ve owned a very cool members-only leather jacket for years. Denim shorts? Maybe one year less than that.
You should ask me what branding my gym bag has on it, too.
I wore white New Balance sneakers during the time I had a C5 Corvette, and I didn’t even know that was a stereotype.
Moth to a flame lol
Have you ever seen those big brown UPS trucks? It most certainly makes people dress a certain way.
Did you know that internally they refer to their trucks as “package cars?”
I lived in Austin, TX for too long, so I am usually wearing jeans and various forms of t-short (long or short sleeve). I am also a Gen X woman so tattoos, no makeup, and usually air dried hair. I usually look like this while climbing into an expensive vehicle, and it does cause looks now that I no longer live in Austin.
Tweed cap and stringback gloves for drivers of British Leyland products. Maybe some greasy overalls in the trunk for the inevitable roadside repairs.
Except if they are roadsters, those tweed caps don’t block the sun when the top is down, so a very tight ball cap is the next step.
How does a ball cap provide any more sun protection than a tweed cap? They both have brims in the front only to shade your eyes, but both leave your ears fully exposed for one of the most annoying sunburns short of burning your feet.
Preach brother