Fortune Favors The Brave: 1984 Saab 900 Turbo vs 1995 Land Rover Discovery

Welcome back! On today’s thrilling episode of Shitbox Showdown, we’re looking at two cars that would be very cool to own – if you’ve got the patience, money, and nerve to take them on. Before you dismiss one or the other out of hand, I’ll just spare you the suspense and tell you up front that both of them start and run, and they’re both manuals.

But before we get to those, yesterday’s minivan battle needs settling. The Ford Aerostar won, as I suspected it might, having two more cylinders and five more seats, but I don’t think it’s as cut-and-dried as all that. A GMC Safari may seem like a big and heavy vehicle to lug around with a 99 horsepower four-cylinder, and it is, but you’re forgetting that there is another small van powered by the same Iron Duke engine, one that you see every day, even a decade-plus after the end of its planned lifecycle: the Grumman LLV mail truck.

Every Saturday, at around noon, I hear it buzzing up my hill: that little white right-hand-drive box full of letters, working hard. Neither rain nor sleet, nor my steep-ass road, nor a zillion miles on the odometer, will stay that not-so-speedy courier from its appointed rounds. I expect this Safari van is much the same. And while the Ford’s automatic is made of Silly Putty and hope, the GMC’s TH700R4 barely even notices the meager torque of that little four-cylinder. I’m on Team Duke here.

Now, a nice sturdy minivan is fine and all, but life would be boring if every car were reliable. Thank goodness we have makes like Land Rover and Saab to keep things interesting. Neither of these cars is quite ready for prime-time, but you can turn the key in either one and the engine will start. And one of them you can even drive home! See if you can guess which one before scrolling down.

1984 Saab 900 Turbo – $3,300

Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.0 liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD

Location: San Diego, CA

Odometer reading: 121,000 miles

Runs/drives? Runs fine, but has no brakes

Certain cars are just emblematic of their marques; when you think of the brand, you think of that particular car. For me, and probably for a lot of other fifty-something car nuts these days, when you say “Saab,” this is what we picture: a mid-1980s three-door 900 Turbo. Earlier and later ones were cool, but to me, this is Peak Saab.

All the elements are there: the backwards-facing turbocharged engine, the curved windshield, the ignition switch in the center console, and that gigantic rear hatch with a spoiler along the bottom of the rear window. It’s an iconic shape, and it still looks futuristic even thirty-nine years after it was built. So many of these have rusted away over the years that it’s nice to see a clean one, and of course it’s sunny Southern California where you find such a creature.

This Saab was purchased as a father-son project, but the seller soon realized he was in over his head. The car runs well, and it would be drivable, except that the brake pedal goes to the floor. The seller suspects a bad master cylinder, and I think that’s a good place to start. There’s also mention of some disintegrating insulation on some wiring at the fusebox, which to me sounds like a whole bunch of gremlins waiting to happen, but at the moment the car is electrically functional.

Cosmetically, all it needs are a new headliner and new taillights; one is ripped and the other cracked. But neither is bad enough to keep you from enjoying the car, at least once you fix the brakes and sort out the wiring. That shouldn’t take too long… right?

1995 Land Rover Discovery – $2,500

Engine/drivetrain: 3.9 liter overhead valve V8, five-speed manual, 4WD

Location: Austin, TX

Odometer reading: 120,000 miles

Runs/drives? Yessir

If you prefer your trouble-prone European cars with a bit more off-road acumen, never fear: I’ve got you covered. This is a first-generation Land Rover Discovery, but not just any Discovery – this is one of the few sold in the US with a manual transmission. I would never presume to refer to something mass-produced as a “Holy Grail,” but if I had to guess, this SUV is probably even rarer than David’s beloved manual Grand Cherokees.

That five-speed gearbox sits behind a 3.9 liter version of Rover’s venerable aluminum V8, which of course began life as a Buick/Oldsmobile engine in 1961, before being sold to Rover in 1965. Rover got its money’s worth out of that deal, keeping the little V8 in production for four more decades. This one runs well, according to the seller, and the gearbox shifts smoothly.

The rest of the truck, however, could use some help. The interior is pretty well trashed, lots of things are broken on the outside, and from the looks of it, the sunroof and windshield have both been sealed with blobs of silicone. And I fear that the open windows may not be able to close properly.

On the plus side, there’s no rust, and it looks straight. The big aftermarket ARB bull-bar is a nice touch. This could be a good basis for an off-road toy that stands out in the usual sea of XJ Jeeps. It may never be nice again, but it’s still capable.

There are plenty of known-reliable cars out there. Some of them are even interesting and fun to drive. But it’s a mistake to dismiss cars like these simply because they’re cantankerous. Likewise, it’s foolish to think that these cars are special because they’re difficult; choosing unreliable high-maintenance cars doesn’t make you somehow more of a gearhead than Toyota fans. But if a Saab or a Land Rover speaks to you, then you ought to listen, and if that means keeping your AAA membership up to date, then so be it. Which one of these is speaking your language?

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)