It sure seems like cars are getting both quicker and heavier than ever before. At the turn of the millennium, sprinting from zero-to-60 mph in a tick under five seconds was supercar stuff, and anything weighing more than 4,000 pounds was almost comically hefty. Now, you can buy family cars that are both quicker and heavier than both of those benchmarks, machines that make an E39 BMW M5 look both slow and light by comparison. The tip of the spear for this insanity is arguably the bonkers Hummer EV, and it just got even quicker for 2026 by way of a new trim level.
This new quickest Hummer EV is called the Carbon Fiber Edition, which makes itself known by cosmetic touches like black wheels and the questionable decision of putting carbon fiber on the skid plate. Consider that an acknowledgement of the Hummer EV’s real purpose, flexing financial might around expensive shopping districts. However, the Carbon Fiber edition isn’t just cosmetic. Thanks to software tweaks, the tri-motor arrangement from the 3X trim, and a 24-module battery pack, GMC claims the pickup truck variant of this trim can run from zero-to-60 mph in 2.8 seconds. Yep, that’s a two at the beginning of that figure.
For context, Chevrolet rates the Corvette Stingray’s zero-to-60 mph time at 2.9 seconds, which means that this 9,063-pound pickup truck can out-accelerate a base Corvette to freeway speeds. That’s like strapping Saturn V rocket boosters onto the Empire State Building and seeing what’s what. Reckless? Perhaps. Irresponsible? Considering the standard Hummer EV 3X is already eager to light up its front tires from a launch control start and stopping a vehicle that weighs three times as much as a Honda Civic is a herculean task, probably. Awesome? I can’t deny, this is a pretty incredible feat. It’s also undeniably American — excess in its most awe-inspiring form.
However, preposterous speed isn’t the only update to the Hummer EV for 2026. The truck and SUV now get King Crab mode, which uses the four-wheel-steering to turn the rear wheels left and right significantly faster than the front wheels for increased agility at low speeds. If you already own a Hummer EV with four-wheel-steering, don’t worry—King Crab mode will be pushed out to all suitably equipped Hummer EVs later this year, and can be activated on older models by hitting the “Mystery Button” on the drive mode selector.
Other than these two notable changes, updates to the Hummer EV for 2026 are fairly mild. You get two new colors, two new upholstery options, retuned dampers, bidirectional charging, and that’s about it. Still, with a headline figure like zero-to-60 mph in as little as 2.8 seconds, that’s all GMC really needed to do.
In a way, it’s amazing that GMC will just sell the most powerful Hummer EV to anyone. Sure, it’s expensive, but it’s a lot less expensive than a lighter, slower Mercedes-AMG G 63, and controlling this much mass feels like something you’d a special license for. The fact that you don’t need it is part of what makes this truck amazing. With figures like zero-to-60 mph in 2.8 seconds, it feels like GMC nailed the supertruck brief, because this behemoth can now handily beat up on two-wheel-drive Lamborghini Huracans at the drag strip.
Top graphic credit: GMC
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The drunk that lives across the street from me is a GM dealership manager.
One Saturday night, he backed his demo 3/4 ton truck into my parked van’s door.
He did this while watching himself do it on the 12 inch display, with proximity alarms blaring.
His new demo is a this Hummer EV thing. It will punch through my van like a missile.
I hope GM has a limiter on acceleration when the rear counter steer is engaged, or it could violently toss itself on its side with a leg twitch.
This feels like an escalation that started back with the Original F150 lightning, or maybe even earlier with the Dodge Power Wagon. Like the Ram TRX is 6400lbs and does 0-60 in under 4 seconds and that’s not even electric.
This also reinforces my thought that driver’s licenses need to have more scaling, like 1st year and no additional training, 2 ton limit, 5 years 3 ton limit, 5 years and some training 4 ton limit, etc.
Once in awhile, humanity will do or make something that pushes the limits and is an absolute triumph of the human spirit:
The Apollo program.
The Concorde.
This same spirit when warped and twisted will also produce things like the double-down from KFC. The ultra-quick Hummer EV is the fake meat version of the double down.
Okay…. but why?
The money needed to facilitate our national greatness is currently being laundered and moved to offshore accounts.
Would you like fries or a biscuit with that Double Down?
Official truck of Florida Man! Cue up the ad campaign featuring Kid Rock in 3, 2, 1 …
I thought the official truck of Florida Man was a clapped-out Altima missing its trunk lid.
That’s gentrification, buddy!