It sure seems like cars are getting both quicker and heavier than ever before. At the turn of the millennium, sprinting from zero-to-60 mph in a tick under five seconds was supercar stuff, and anything weighing more than 4,000 pounds was almost comically hefty. Now, you can buy family cars that are both quicker and heavier than both of those benchmarks, machines that make an E39 BMW M5 look both slow and light by comparison. The tip of the spear for this insanity is arguably the bonkers Hummer EV, and it just got even quicker for 2026 by way of a new trim level.
This new quickest Hummer EV is called the Carbon Fiber Edition, which makes itself known by cosmetic touches like black wheels and the questionable decision of putting carbon fiber on the skid plate. Consider that an acknowledgement of the Hummer EV’s real purpose, flexing financial might around expensive shopping districts. However, the Carbon Fiber edition isn’t just cosmetic. Thanks to software tweaks, the tri-motor arrangement from the 3X trim, and a 24-module battery pack, GMC claims the pickup truck variant of this trim can run from zero-to-60 mph in 2.8 seconds. Yep, that’s a two at the beginning of that figure.
For context, Chevrolet rates the Corvette Stingray’s zero-to-60 mph time at 2.9 seconds, which means that this 9,063-pound pickup truck can out-accelerate a base Corvette to freeway speeds. That’s like strapping Saturn V rocket boosters onto the Empire State Building and seeing what’s what. Reckless? Perhaps. Irresponsible? Considering the standard Hummer EV 3X is already eager to light up its front tires from a launch control start and stopping a vehicle that weighs three times as much as a Honda Civic is a herculean task, probably. Awesome? I can’t deny, this is a pretty incredible feat. It’s also undeniably American — excess in its most awe-inspiring form.
However, preposterous speed isn’t the only update to the Hummer EV for 2026. The truck and SUV now get King Crab mode, which uses the four-wheel-steering to turn the rear wheels left and right significantly faster than the front wheels for increased agility at low speeds. If you already own a Hummer EV with four-wheel-steering, don’t worry—King Crab mode will be pushed out to all suitably equipped Hummer EVs later this year, and can be activated on older models by hitting the “Mystery Button” on the drive mode selector.
Other than these two notable changes, updates to the Hummer EV for 2026 are fairly mild. You get two new colors, two new upholstery options, retuned dampers, bidirectional charging, and that’s about it. Still, with a headline figure like zero-to-60 mph in as little as 2.8 seconds, that’s all GMC really needed to do.
In a way, it’s amazing that GMC will just sell the most powerful Hummer EV to anyone. Sure, it’s expensive, but it’s a lot less expensive than a lighter, slower Mercedes-AMG G 63, and controlling this much mass feels like something you’d a special license for. The fact that you don’t need it is part of what makes this truck amazing. With figures like zero-to-60 mph in 2.8 seconds, it feels like GMC nailed the supertruck brief, because this behemoth can now handily beat up on two-wheel-drive Lamborghini Huracans at the drag strip.
Top graphic credit: GMC
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Correct use of “insane, bonkers, and irresponsible” in the article. Is this the zenith of marketing to the lizard brain? More evidence that humanity’s intellect ceased evolving many millennia ago.
That Hummer weighs nearly 700 pounds more than all three of our cars combined. Sportwagen TDI, Mazda3, 1972 Super Beetle. Yeah, they’re not very big cars, but still.
Nice lineup! Weirdly enough, the new Hummer isn’t even as big or impressive as the specs would have you believe.
Side-by-side, it doesn’t look too much beefier than a run-of-the-mill Sierra. So it kind of disappoints all the way around.
Had this been based off the Chevy Blazer EV and harkened back to the 2010 GMC Granite concept, we’d all be better off. Especially GM (pretty sure Blazer EV sales were nearly double the Hummer’s last year).
OK neat, a pointlessly large vehicle that’s wasteful with electricity rather than gas.
And even worse where fossil fuels are being burned to generate the electricity to charge its batteries.
And extract the massive amount of minerals to make the batteries. It is like GM took a look at how stupid the original Hummers were and decided to double down.
American excess stopped being as much fun when it stopped being a joke and became a de facto culture :/
This should be a wild-ass one off factory nutcase. Not a production vehicle.
When every day is Opposite Day, you lose sight of what was normal.
When was that? I’m guessing around 1777.
That’s too much, Bob/Drew.
Timely reminder that this won’t be sold in Europe because you actually would need a light truck commercial driver’s license to operate it.
Just waiting for the owners to complain about buying $1800 worth of tires every 10,000 miles.
Do states have limits on the weight of vehicle you can operate with a standard non-commercial driver’s license?
Sadly my state is 26,000 pounds with a regular license.
Yes, but it’s 25,999 lbs. GVWR. (I think?) before you need a CDL. That’s how U-Haul can rent anyone a 26′ box truck.
Same with class A motorhomes, as usually driven by Methuselah
Whoa, you must not be close to Florida. We get Methuselah’s Grandparents driving down or back from Florida twice a year.
Nah, that’s a special exemption carved out by the very powerful RV industry lobbyists. Driving a full-sized Prevost coach requires a CDL – unless it has a sink and a toilet.
Yes. In my state it’s 26,000 lbs.
This is out of control and needs to be regulated. It’s not just this vehicle, but it feels like this one might be the most extreme vehicle in terms of weight and speed that a person with a regular driver’s license can drive on public roads.
I get the enthusiasm about the tech and know this is the “Autopian,” but this trend of weight and acceleration is just too dangerous not only for the vehicle’s driver, but for all other drivers on the road, pedestrians, bicyclists, etc.
*Walks in, lights match*
I think you should need a CDL to drive anything bigger than a current midsized truck
*drops match, runs out cackling while dodging projectiles*
I think we need a “cdl lite” for trailers, any vehicle weighing more than 6000lb and registration tax proportional to vehicle weight to account for how much more wear they cause to the roads.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I’ll take it a step further and say that if every macho jerk and soccer mom wants to be Large Marge, make the default driving course for everyone the Class B CDL course.
What’s the point of training people to operate a 2008 Kia Soul for a few weeks if they’re going to jump behind the wheel of a 17 foot death machine the second they graduate?
I kind of thought this might happen after the Bourbon Street attack, but nope. I thought at least there might be considerations to not allow forward collision alert systems to be turned off.
Right now the price of these kind of prevents them from getting into (most) inexperienced drivers hands, but that will change with depreciation.
I’d be all for speed and acceleration limiters on anything over 8500 lbs GVWR. Make it 68 mph, and 0.5g acceleration. And make it retroactive, with over the air updates for vehicles like this that can support it. If there is forward facing radar, they could also implement an update that does not allow for < 2-3 second following distance as well. I’m sure the reactions to such an update would be highly entertaining as well.
Sadly, I expect the statement “this one might be the most extreme vehicle in terms of weight and speed that a person with a regular driver’s license can drive on public roads” needs to add the word “TODAY” at the end.
I expect there to be a Hummer Fighter out there in a couple years that is 2000 lbs heavier and a half second quicker to 60.
Unless GM can’t move these things (who am I kidding, GM is going to sell these as fast as they can make them).
F=ma is a hell of a drug. This is a road missile. I hope beyond hope that whoever gets one drives responsibly. (HA! that will not happen)
More importantly is KE= 1/2 MV*V. With a big M term and the ability to get a Lot of V quickly, when it runs into something, that is an epic butt-ton (to use the proper term) of kinetic energy to dissipate.
I shall nickname it the Bridge Destroyer 9063. Because someone is going to hit a bridge with this nearly supersonic brick and shut down two interstates for days until someone can check to make sure the bridge is still safe to drive across or under.
Me in my sub-100 lb trike at 100 mph would have the same kinetic energy as an electric Hummer at 15 mph. Yet there is no shortage of SUV-driving Karens that want me off the road, and cell-phone in hand alert the cops to my presence on the road, not knowing my vehicle is actually legal.
I can’t reach 100 mph quite yet though. I need to finish the next body first. The rear wheel spins to 132 mph unloaded, but due to aero drag and rolling resistance, on flat ground it will reach just a hair over 70 mph on 10 kW.
Once I have motors in the front wheels and bump that up to 25 kW, I’ll still fall slightly short of the Hummer’s acceleration curve.
I was behind one of these on my way to work this morning.
The width comparison seeing it next to a semi trailer was shocking.
With the mirrors, it is 2″ shy of 8 ft wide
To be fair, I live in the Deep South. I’m not sure two average people from Walmart here can sit abreast in one of these without being on real friendly terms.
Looks in mirror “but I’m still ok”. Looks in mirror at the next sink over. “Or not”.
When sitting in air conditioning all day, deep frying everything and the vegetables have meat in them, it’s not shocking.
Back in the late 2000’s Columbia, SC had one of the highest stroke rates per capita. University of South Carolina coincidentally had some of the top stroke researchers in the US employed there.
And some people worry about kei cars being dangerous to others.
“We have to keep those unhinged kei cars off the roads so the real patriots can drive their 4-5 ton behemoths without the stress of running over one of those selfish toys!”
-AAMVA
I adore this stupid thing. If I was a MUCH wealthier man I’d have one in a heartbeat. In a more realistic world, I wish GM would produce a much smaller/less excessive proper EV 4×4. Or, just a proper 4×4 that isn’t the Colorado. Gimme a K5 damnit.
Don’t worry, Kia has a K5!
I confess to liking them, too. They’re very deeply stupid but could make for a fun nonsense vehicle.
Hey, this reminds me of the theme song for my entire generation!
https://youtu.be/SMhwddNQSWQ
I would buy a 4Runner/Bronco/etc competitor that’s on the Colorado/Canyon platform in a nanosecond. I’d be perfectly content with the Turbomax but would do unspeakable things for the Babymax.
Same.
Driving the Silverado EV in WOW mode was scary as hell, the tires could barely hold the vehicle straight.
As GMC employee, a WTF launch in the Hummer is the scariest thing I’ve ever done in stock production vehicle. Plaid launches are intense but the Hummer very obviously DOES NOT want to be going 0-60 in 3 seconds.
Nor does the rest of traffic.
This addresses my one complaint that I, and presumably everyone else has with the Hummer EV which is that it is just too slow. Glad they have finally remedied this.
Speak for yourself, I’ve been worried that the Hummer EV is too light
Of course it’s light, they have added carbon fiber.
*Jesse Pinkman voice*
SCIENCE, BITCH!
9063 goddamn pounds
***perfect insert for yo mama joke.
Yo mama so fat, even Chuck Norris can’t lift her!
Now we’re posting like it’s 2006! Hell yeah
Which was the last time the Hummer was considered cool.
Ayyyyyy!
Believe it or not you still see lots of H2s and H3s here in DC. I think they’ve become a favorite for the fake rich crowd.
Good one.
9063 pounds? Still lighter than yo mama!
Yo mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck
Yo mama so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama so fat, she’s at significantly increased risk for heart disease and diabetes. We’re all very concerned for her.
Imagine a 2005 version of yourself seeing the article title…
I love the idea of a “mystery button” in most of my life, but when driving, that sounds… problematic.
The mystery button in a classic British or Italian car is the ignition.
Have TR6, can confirm.
I drive a BMW e36 and the radio has a button on the radio labeled “PTY”. Not sure what it does. Pity for you poor losers not driving a crappy BMW e36?
May have mentioned it before, but would love to see an article on the physics of what happens when a 9,063lb vehicle with supercar speeds and horrible visibility is in a crash. Maybe some test dummies simulating pedestrians in the wrong place when a Hummer EV is speeding out of a Cars and Coffee?
Simple to do at home. Just go up onto the roof, and drop a jar of chunky salsa off the side
This is your brain… this is your brain on…Hummer EV by GMC (salsa smashes)
“Mmmm, mango-la oblongata”- Homer Simpson, probably
The Hummer doesn’t have crashes. It has speedbumps.
Waiting to hear about one falling through some rickety old bridge in the middle of nowhere. This thing will do wonders for our crumbling transportation infrastructure!
Write your representatives to support future infrastructure bills so you can exercise your American right to drive a 9,000lb Hummer unimpeded. They may be more receptive to that approach than other forms of pleading.
I’d love to see one of these crash tested against something that most people would consider a substantial, safe car, such as a typical three row crossover or full size pickup. We know it’ll annihilate pedestrians, cyclists, and even small cars, but I bet it could inflict some serious damage on a larger vehicle too. Especially because you’d have to do the test at higher speeds, given this thing can get to 60 in two. Point. Eight. Seconds.
I imagine the pedestrian impact issue more comes down to height and shape than it does weight. Once whatever is hitting you weighs an order of magnitude more than you do (which would be most cars for most people) I’m not sure the car being incrementally heavier makes things any worse.
Just what we need. A 9000 pound cruise missile on wheels that can out accelerate a supercar.
A 9,000 pound cruise missile that can out accelerate a super car, is marketed to truck bros, and has intriguing lease offers that are less than the average monthly car payment. What could possibly go wrong?!?!
I was speaking to an old coworker of mine this last weekend, and he was invited by a fellow SCCA driving instructor to an event a local dealer was holding at a private track. The point of the event was to get their employees in front of and into their EV offerings, so they had EVquinoxes, BlazEVs, SilvEVrados, and Hummers. They had some experienced instructors on hand for the driving portions.
One station was a launch in the Hummer. Get on it from a stop, start braking at those cones down there. Simple.
He said nearly no one would stay on it. The acceleration was so terrifying and startling that that most people immediately let off the throttle.
The chance for a misapplication of the throttle in a vehicle like this, combined with the insane speed, combined with the mass that you need to reign in if something happened is terrifying.
“He said nearly no one would stay on it. The acceleration was so terrifying and startling that that most people immediately let off the throttle.”
To me this would kind of imply all the hand-wringing about it being “too fast” is kind of misdirected? If doing a full throttle launch is literally uncomfortable, how often are people likely to do it?
There’s no chance a full mash of the throttle is happening on the school run – intentionally. That’s probably a legit concern.
Will the finance bros who are flexing on their buddies who *only* have Ram 2500s while cosplaying countrywesternstar do it though? I imagine so.
What I don’t really know is how hard it is to actually keep one of these shiny side up if you step on it before you’ve straightened the wheel onto the freeway on-ramp. Is it harder than a RWD Corvette? Probably not. But a Corvette won’t knock a minivan off the road when it’s fishtailing and come out unscathed, so there’s that.
Florida man says “Hold my beer…”
IOW, somewhere, there’s an idiot, drunk or otherwise, who’ll floor it in completely inappropriate circumstances.
Thankfully traction and stability control are mandatory (for the moment). Since this is drive by wire and tri motor, the computer has a fighting chance of keeping it shiny side up.
Florida Man is a national treasure.
https://youtu.be/yDqwlAU2QYs?t=113
I assume it’s still governed around 105 mph, so it’s almost certainly the fastest “zero to top speed” accelerating vehicle sold, possibly the fastest ever sold.
Seems so. Although i am curious what it could do on regular tires. Are there even performance tires that could take the weight? Even pilot sport SUV tires seem to be in the 2300 Lb range
The old adage of with enough thrust a brick will fly seems apt here.
The only thing remotely close I know of is the LM002 Pirelli 345/60/17 tire, which has been discontinued several times and costs thousands of dollars each if you can find new ones.
3400 lb load rating, 149 mph speed rating.
Kinda Ironic given the original hummer had a 1/4 mile time faster than its 0-60.
No matter how fast you make it go, you still can’t escape the fact that you’re driving it
“The new GMC Hummer. Just when you thought it was safe to cross the street!”
And yet it remains a complete pile of poop.
If I had a nickel for every time GMC made a truck faster than a Corvette…
Which isn’t a lot but weird that it happened more than once
Is that a Doofenshmirtz reference?
Ah a fellow man of culture!