Home » Happy Presidents Day Mattress Sale Day!: Cold Start

Happy Presidents Day Mattress Sale Day!: Cold Start

Cs Presday

Happy Presidents Day, everybody! A weird, kinda half-assed holiday where George Washington and Abraham Lincoln’s get mashed up together, because they both had birthdays (February 22 and 12, respectively) in February. There were actually two other February baby presidents that somehow don’t ever get mentioned for this holiday: Ronald Reagan (February 6) and William Henry Harrison (February 9), who died in 30 days! Generally, the day gets celebrated with incredible mattress sales and kinda half-assing it at work, which is how we’re celebrating, because we gave The Autopian staff the day off, hopefully to get some smoking hot deals on mattresses.

Hey, let’s just embed that Simpsons bit here, why not?

We’ll have a few posts go up today but not at the usual pace, so, you know, take it easy.

Oh, and that eagle in the Constitutionmobile up there is actually from a little Pixar short which is pretty funny, if you feel like watching something short this President’s Day. I can’t embed it, because Disney will hunt me down like a dog if I do, but you know how to click links, don’t you?

Also, you know what I just learned? The reason Presidents Day falls when it does is actually thanks to the Uniform Holiday Bill, signed into law in 1968 by President Lyndon B. Johnson. The whole point of the bill was to make more three-day weekends! That’s a fine bit of legislation!

Anyway, whatever you want to do on this holiday, if you have it off, I hope you enjoy it. Let me know how amazing your mattress deals were!



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47 Responses

  1. It’s Family Day in Ontario, Canada, I might wander out to the shed and pull the ECU out of my bike for its Florida vacation and reflash. I’m self employed, semi-retired and always on-call, but nobody will call today, so its cool.

  2. How about a list of automobile manufacturers/makes/models that share names with past presidents?

    The Clinton was manufactured by the Clinton Motor Car Company around 1911. Only 8 were made. (source wiki)

    1. I like that Studebaker not only had a car named “President”, but also one titled “Dictator”. As for actual Presidential names, the first connection that popped into my head was Grover Cleveland (twice!) and Ford’s engine of the same name.

        1. Ford had an engine called the Cleveland, but named after the city not the President.
          Still, the car that comes to mind is the original 100″wb “bathtub” Rambler since it had two non-consecutive production runs, from 1950-55 as the Nash Rambler and from 1958-63 (with the “bathtub” reskinned away from ’61) as the Rambler American.

        1. I love the Onion, but I miss the print version. Also:

          “The 36-year-old queen-to-be, red of cheek and unmarred by pocks or the great widening of the hindquarters endemic to females of the region”

          So true, so true.

  3. “I can’t embed it, because Disney will hunt me down like a dog if I do…”

    You know Disney owns The Simpsons, right? Better put some camo on now and stay in your basement for the rest of the week.

        1. If I were the designer for the Alien ride I’d start it like “It’s A Small World” with the spoiled princesses singing their cloying tunes and their animal slaves, er, “companions” catering to their whims.

          Suddenly the lights would go out! Strobes, fog and a shrinking siren would fill the air! A hoard of xenomorph drones would burst in, grabbing the screaming princesses and drag them every which way into the darkness as blood splattered everywhere! The animals, released from their magical entrapment and too small to be bothered with by the drones would cheer the carnage from the sidelines like tiny Parisians at the guillotine. Small fragments of torn, bloody, sweatshop made princess dresses would then flutter to the ground.


          The ride would then enter the xenomorph queen’s chamber where, broken and embedded into the walls in various states of incubation the princesses would beg the riders for death. A few would burst as the car slowly passed by with wriggling infant xenomorphs flying across the heads of the screaming, possibly traumatized for life riders. As relief began to wash over the riders from their narrow escape the car would appear to break down.

          Ohhh NOOOO!!!!

          Eggs would then rise from the floor of the car, one for each rider. The eggs would slooooly open. Suddenly the safety bars would tighten their grip, the face crabs would crawl out and leap out onto the faces of their hapless, terrified victims. Just before the crabs could get a grip the car would suddenly return to life, corkscrew and shake, causing the crabs to fall out.

          The car would then exit the chamber and head into the sky as the chamber is nuked from orbit and Riply’s disembodied voice whispers:

          “It’s the only way to be sure”.

          I really don’t understand why Disney won’t return my calls. It’s WAY better than Pirates of the Caribbean!

  4. “Constitutionmobile”

    It is a pretty sweet ride! I assume the dealer-installed options are called ‘amendments’.

    And the pilot reminds me of Sam the Eagle on the Muppet Show, minus the aggressive eyebrow game.

    1. Same here, my boss is out of town in a business trip to Mexico and here I am stuck in an empty building while he is having tacos over there ugh time to pack and go home lol

  5. Congress kludged together Lincoln’s and Washington’s Birthdays together and moved the observation date to form a three-day weekend. Gives the Daytona 500 fans an extra day to get home if they’re public sector employees. In Illinois: Land of Lincoln, the state still celebrates Lincoln’s Birthday on the appropriate date.

  6. Where I am it’s family day and it just seems to make more sense to link family day and mattress day. But since I am president of my (currently very messy) garage, I think I’ll just lie here.

  7. I did, surprisingly, have the day off. I only remembered last night. I spent the day recovering from very early mornings Saturday and Sunday for car shows, and then pulling the AC condenser out of my 200SX.

  8. At my current employer, we don’t have any officially recognized holidays. Work on them if you want to, or not. Take a vacation when you want. Take a day off when you want or need to. Just let your team know. That’s about all of the rules for such things. Since I have some work to do that is completely solitary and I can be more productive when there are no Slack or emails floating about to distract, I am working a bit. But just a bit.

  9. Washington’s birthday may be February 22 but on the day he was born it was February 11 1732
    December 31, 1750 was followed by January 1, 1750 (under the “Old Style” calendar, December was the 10th month and January the 11th)
    March 24, 1750 was followed by March 25, 1751 (March 25 was the first day of the “Old Style” year)
    December 31, 1751 was followed by January 1, 1752 (the switch from March 25 to January 1 as the first day of the year)
    September 2, 1752 was followed by September 14, 1752 (drop of 11 days to conform to the Gregorian calendar)

    So apparently George thought that being a year off in age was less confusing that a year and 11 days…

    1. Argh, where is that edit button-
      Actually, when George was born it was February 11, 1731 not 1732. He changed his year of birth as well as the day of birth.

      Of course, in France, it was February 22, 1732, those sneaky French.

  10. Happy Presidents Day, American Autopians, and Happy Family Day to those from Canada!

    Can we expect some photos from the weekend meetup in Milwaukee? It’s not worth busting a day off for, but maybe tomorrow?

  11. Damn this bank holiday.
    Here’s hoping that used car I didn’t snap up on Saturday is still there tomorrow. We are finally getting rid of my wife’s 2011 Fiesta (yay! Now that’s something to celebrate).
    She told me I get to decide her next vehicle due to her history of choosing lemons that have kerploded in one way or another (Jetta, Versa, Fiesta).
    Found a Chevy Prizm for her with only 88,000 miles on it, ooh yeah! Don’t mean to brag or make any of y’all jealous.

      1. A Chevy Prizm is the same cockroach of a car as a Corolla but without the $1000 Toyota badge.
        I could do a lot worse these days for a good running car on an expensive mattress budget.

    1. I’m not sure how many truly happy humans I’ve seen. Obama seems like he rolled with the punches pretty well. Seems like he’s pretty happy post presidency as well.

  12. On this glorious holiday, I ponder this, what is different from yesterday? Nothing. What will be different tomorrow? Nothing. If you lined up all the days of the calendar, what would differentiate them? Nothing. God, I love being retired AND financially well off.

    Yeah me!

  13. Let’s talk about mattress stores then. Why are there so many? Do people go through that many of them where multiple locations of them are located close together (sometimes across the street from each other!) that all these stores are profitable? I have a 15 year old mattress that’s still good. My guess is that they’re a money laundering operation for the Antarctic mafia.

  14. I wish I had the day off. Spent all weekend wrenching trying to get the new engine into the truck. Its in, but I didn’t get far enough along to wrap it up, so I have to go to my friend’s garage sometime soon in order to finish it.
    Everything hurts. My fingernails hurt. I feel as if I were beaten like a rented mule

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