As anyone who has neglected feeding a fish for weeks at a time can tell you, all things must die. Eventually. That goes for cars, too, and this year the butcher’s bill is over 30 cars long, depending on whose list you happen to be reading. Whatever the exact number, it’s a lot of cars that will be driving across the Rainbow Road come next year, and it seems important for us to acknowledge these dead cars driving, and, more importantly, tell you precisely how much of a feces we give about these passings.
To grade how much we care about the demise of each car, we’ll be using the recognized international standard of how much one grieves the passing of something: by how much booze is decanted onto the ground from a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor. As you can imagine, more booze means more remorse, on a scale of zero to 40 ounces.
Okay, let’s get to this, we have a lot of these to work through, and, to be honest, it’s hard to care about a lot of these cars. I almost placed these in alphabetical order, but that’s not how these graphics populated the article when I imported them all in here, so I’ll just take this order as some sort of sign from the Almighty.
Oh, you know what else? For some of these – perhaps most– I may suggest a dead car that should be resurrected to replace it!
The Audi A7 bids adieu come 2026, and I think that’s worth just a bit over half the malt liquor bottle, mostly because I’m feeling more sympathetic to non-SUVs, and the A7 is something I like even more than a sedan: a five-door liftback. I’ll be sorry to see that go, even if I rarely encountered these cars and, as a result, have precious little personal connection to them.
What To Resurrect: Merkur Scorpio
I suppose I’m feeling a bit more nostalgia for the Legacy than some of these other cars, as I still recall the handsome 1989 Legacies of my youth. And, also, sedans are becoming so very rare; Subaru still has the WRX, but that’s it for them! So I’ll pour out over 3/4s of it!
What To Resurrect: The 1989 Subaru Legacy
Like every other company, Volvo is paring down their sedans. In fact, I don’t think they even have any sedans left for sale in America! There’s still the V60 Cross Country wagon, their lone remaining actual station wagon, as they hint at with how this category is listed on their website:
So sad. I’ll dump out 30 ounces for this one.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 262C Bertone
The S90 was Volvo’s fancy, rich-people sedan, and was killed primarily because of the hefty tariffs on this Chinese-built car. They’ll still be available in China and other parts of the world, but if you’re rich in America and really, really want a fancy Volvo, you’ll just have to buy an old 240 and spend $300,000 at some bespoke upfitter like the rest of us peasants.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 240, for the rich people to upfit, like I just said
This one is a little weird, because Porsche seems to have sort of wavered on their plans here. Originally, this entry-level Porsche was to be the last combustion-powered Macan, but now it looks like there will be a new, arguably worse combustion-Macan coming next. But it’s going away, and I guess it’s worth at least 23 ounces, since I’m soft on any entry-level anything, and I always thought these looked pretty good.
What To Resurrect: Porsche 597 Jagdwagen
This is basically the same as the Audi A7, but you know, faster. That’s why I gave it four more ounces.
What To Resurrect: Merkur XR4ti
Ah, the Q8 E-tron! It’s going away! I’ve seen like three of these out in the wild. These seem like pretty decent EVs, with decent range and what I’m told is good handling and all that, but it’s still pretty hard to really, you know, care. 12 ounces is a whole beer can, so that seems fair.
What To Resurrect: How about an Audi Fox wagon? In bright green?
I’ve seen a few of these in the wild, and I can’t say I know all that much about them, but I do think an electric delivery van is a great application for EVs in general, especially for “last-mile” routes, so we’ll spill almost 30 ounces of precious, golden malt liquor for the Brightdrop.
What To Resurrect: Some sort of modernized electric DKW Schnellaster
These fastback SUVs always seemed a little silly to me, but whatever. We’ll dump 11 ounces for this one and probably barely think about it again.
What To Resurrect: How about a LaForza?
Honestly? I think I was a little too generous for this one. These were huge, expensive lumbering beasts, about as elegant as a gilded fecal impaction. They were fast and pretty comfortable, so there’s that, I guess.
What To Resurrect: Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan
This was Cadillac’s smaller SUV, and was discontinued to make way for electric SUVs. Is it a shame these are gone? I guess? These were handsome-looking crossovers, and they did seem to come in a shade of green. So we can dump out the equivalent of a can and a half. Wait, no, a can and a third?
What To Resurrect: How about the OG Citroën Ami? Those were nice and weird.
The Cadillac XT6 is going away, which just means, what? If you really wanted one, you should just get a lightly used Escalade?
What To Resurrect: Cadillac Seville (the bustleback one)
I think relatively affordable cars of any kind are needed right now, so I’m not thrilled to see the Blazer go. Of course, GM’s decision to not allow CarPlay in their cars kicks this off most people’s lists, so I guess it barely matters. Still, I’ll give 21 ounces.
What To Resurrect: Daihatsu Naked
Oh no! The Ford Escape is no longer going to be sold in America! That’s what it would sound like if people gave a shit about this, which, I assure you, they don’t. I mean, maybe someone does, but I have yet to meet them. Just get a Bronco Sport or something if it hurts.
What To Resurrect: Ford Ka
I think Genesis has a strong design vocabulary, so in that sense, I guess I should lament the loss of any good-looking car, but they also have a very consistent design language, so it’s not like there aren’t plenty of other Genesises out there with basically the same look. So, 23 oz is all you get, and that’s generous.
What To Resurrect: BMW 600
The QX50 is going away? Oh no. Look, I’ll give 12 whole ounces just to not have to give a shit here.
What To Resurrect: Studebaker Avanti
Didn’t I just do this one? Ugh, the QX55, right, fine. I don’t care. Two ounces. Whatever.
What To Resurrect: How about the VW Squareback? Those were cool as hell.
I’m not pouring out anything for the Wagoneer because it’s really just getting a name change to the Grand Wagoneer and besides, these are pretty boring as it is. Fine. Keep it, kill it, I don’t give a rat’s rectum.
What To Resurrect: Jeep FC! And the van one they never made, too!
Ah, the Soul! I’m going to pour out the whole thing for this one because it’s not just the Soul that’s ending, it’s the last of this particular kind of affordable, useful, small, cube-shaped car, and that’s a category I really appreciate. They’re sort of like larger versions of Kei tall-boy cars, maximizing volume in a small package. We once had the Nissan Cube, Scion xB, and the Soul. Now we have none. That’s sad.
What To Resurrect: First-gen Scion xB!
I’m going to pour out a lot for the Lexus LC, because this kind of fast, RWD luxury coupé is becoming more and more uncommon. And yes, that’s a shame. 32 ounces of shame.
What To Resurrect: Crosley Hot Shot
Damn, the RC platform is almost 12 years old! I guess this one was getting pretty old. Still, sport coupés are becoming less and less available, so I’ll splash out a lot for the passing of these.
What To Resurrect: Checker Marathon, but a sport-coupé version
These things weren’t exactly flying off the shelves. They were nice enough EV SUVs, I suppose, but if you can find anyone who will be really broken up by their discontinuation, you should put a tent over them and sell tickets.
What To Resurrect: Mercedes-Benz Pagoda
This was one of those “coupé” SUVs that weren’t actually coupés, but were worse-shaped and less-useful SUVs. I don’t care that it’s gone. So there.
What To Resurrect: Mazda GLC, the real GLC
See above. I gave it one extra ounce because why the hell not. Good riddance.
What To Resurrect: Pretty much anything
The Altima has achieved a sort of cult, pop-culture status as a sort of unpredictable agent of automotive chaos, though that’s really more likely just a byproduct of it being widely available and affordable. It’s become fairly boring lately though, so maybe it’s best it bows out now, before fading into true obscurity. It’s worth at least 15 ounces.
What To Resurrect: Any Nissan Pike factory car
I’m not sure there’s a car that has taken the world less by storm than the Nissan Ariya. Sure, it’s pretty nice and is Infiniti-adjacent in terms of quality, but there’s a lot of competition in the EV crossover space, and it’s just hard to find a reason to care. The tariffs didn’t help either. Drip, drip.
What To Resurrect: Nissan Rasheen
I remember driving these when they first came out. They were fine, only came in shades of gray, and there really weren’t that many compelling reasons to get one. All I really remember about my drive in one was that the infotainment system had a fantastic bug that gave my average speed at something over 400 mph. Six ounces spilled is plenty.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 1800ES
You know what, let’s group this with the one below:
Okay, both the 718s, in open Boxster and closed Cayman forms, were to be discontinued to make room for new EV sportscars, but I’m not so sure how that’s going to play out? Regardless, I’m sad to see any mid-engined, horizontally-opposed piston’d cars go, so I’ll pour out most of my 40 for these two.
What To Resurrect: Porsche 912
Another example of the Great Sedan Pruning, I suppose Acura really couldn’t justify both the TLX and the Integra, and of the two, I guess I’m glad they kept the Integra.
What To Resurrect: Honda Element, but as an Acura. Call it a Molecule.
I think I liked the first gen of these more, with the more dramatically stupid fastback. This one I don’t think I’ve ever thought about. It’s lucky to get five ounces.
What To Resurrect: I don’t know. The Corvair.
Didn’t I already do this one? Oh, that was the A7. Fine. Sedans are going away, yadda yadda, it’s terrible, oh no, 22 ounces, blah blah blah. There.
What To Resurrect: Glas V8
Oy, that was a lot of these. That’s sort of grim, isn’t it? Well, here’s hoping better things take the place of these deadbeats.
So what does the Volvo plant in SC build if S60s are gone? EX90s and Polestar 3s?
Yep, plus they’re adding the XC60.
I care about the BrightDrop discontinuation more because it’s the only thing built at the GM CAMI factory originally joint venture’d with Suzuki to assemble Geo Trackers and Metros. Keep the heritage alive so I can do a factory visit!
I’ve already lost Ford St. Thomas Assembly for my Squire, I can’t lose another!
I am astounded that Honda has still not come out with a new Element. It would absolutely slay in the current market, and people go gaga for the remaining stock.
Especially since Honda now has a hybrid powertrain that can fix the Element’s greatest weakness, the mediocre fuel economy. The boxy shape would still cost it a few MPGs but as long as it breaks 30 nobody who wants one will care.
Further proof that Honda is basically the Nintendo of the automotive world: capable of greatness but oddly reluctant to flex that muscle, and frequently tone deaf to its biggest fans
You should resurrect the Volvo 780., not the 262 Bertone.
Bowie had a 262 Bertone. RuPaul still has one.
Some of these I’m not even sure I knew existed at all. So there’s that.
The Soul is amazingly popular here in Baltimore County, MD. Not sure why, but I see more of them here than I’ve seen anywhere.
“gilded fecal impaction” – also a good name for our fearless leader tangerine palpatine and his love of all things blingy gold.
It was just a CR-V platform with a boxier function-oriented design… which is even more confusing as to why they won’t do it!
The Macan and LC deserve a more generous pour IMO, the XT4 and RC/RCF way less.
I had an XT4 rental, what a hateful little thing. I’m glad it’s dying. If Cadillac wants to be taken seriously as a purveyor of luxury, they can’t be selling rebadged garbage. Leave that to Buick.
The XT4 is the Cimmaron.
I’m very sad the Soul is dying. My mother’s ’23 Soul has been great. The best cheap car by far. The rest, meh, whatever. Maybe a tiny bit sad for the 718, but IMHO they have been wildly overpriced ever since they lost the flat 6 as standard.
Obvious joke about our souls already being dead, etc.
The XT6 is too bad, that’s actually a nice rig. But so is an Acadia Denali. I also liked the XT4, except it felt more “Pontiac” than “Cadillac.”
The TLX really hurts, though. That’s such a good car.
I’ve had all of the sub ‘Slade Caddie CUVs as rentals. Meh. At best.
I hate Hondas as a rule, with few exceptions. Especially Hondas with delusions of grandeur.
TLX was an excellent foil to the G20 3 Series and other CLAR BMWs of around 2018-19.
I always liked Acura sport sedans.
The Caddies are not much of a loss in terms of what’s selling in the lineup. XT6 is too close to an Escalade. Escalade makes more money.
XT4 and XT5 are dangerously close to well-executed Cimmarons.
I’m not sure I’d have picked the TLX over the post-N20 F30 let alone the G20.
And I don’t like the F30.
The XT6 is mid at best. The problem is that the market surpasses it. The GC is a better car in every metric, and it is an over-priced dinosaur.
The TLX was dead to me with the first gen. I showed up at the dealership the moment they got a wagon in, ready to sign, test drive was a formality. However, the complete lack of power killed it for me. Have not looked at anything Acura (or Honda) since.
It’s like they just wanted the wagon to fail. The four with a stick would have been fine, the V6 with automatic would have been fine too. BMW not offering the e91 in the US with the turbo six or diesel was the same stupidity, though at least the N52 e91 with a stick is delightful. In particular, the Venn diagram of people who like diesels and wagons is a near perfect circle. If they were going to offer that engine in only one body it should have been the wagon to start with.
I’m on board for resurrecting the Crosley Hot Shot! Not sure how it’s linked with the demise of the Lexus LC. One is a cheap and cheerful roadster, the other an expensive, quality luxury coupe.
But hey, if we have to toss one in the volcano to appease the gods and get a Crosley back from the grave … ta ta, LC!
The Cadillac XT6 is one of the best cars I’ve ever driven. It was comfortable, well behaved in spirited driving, the engine was great, no inertia, no droning, revvy, everything was absolutely GREAT.
No crazy technology, no 1.6 to haul 5000 pounds, no turbos, basically a Cadillac’ed version of my Santa Fe XL, except better everywhere.
I’m surely sorry to see it gone. The snarky escaladesque smartassness doesn’t do it justice.
Oof that is a shame that is one thing i hate about the american car brands. they keep trying to out german the germans or out japan the japanese. Instead of the Uniquely american cars and leaning into them and making them as amerca as possible they let them die on the vine and wonder why nobody buys them anymore.
One thing I’ve appreciated about Lincoln lately is they seem to be charting a course for an American flavor of luxury.
Interesting point, there is a part of me that really wants a Continental…oh wait, they killed those.
“american car brands. they keep trying to out german the germans or out japan the japanese. Instead of the Uniquely american cars and leaning into them and making them as amerca as possible ”
They do. They’re called the F-x50, Silverado, Denali, Suburban, Expedition, Explorer, HUMMER, RAM, Cyberblech,…
Would be wrong in the XT6’s case.
The beauty of it is that it wasn’t out-germaning or out-japaning anything. It was just out-doing them all.
The car was amazingly comfortable without being mushy.
At the same time, exceptionally good road manners.
Very practical. Well thought.
An engine that was rev-happy, snappy, without being obnoxious.
And a boatload of purely American stuff that was just – well – fun.
Example – no mph-km/h speedo. Mph only. BUT: go in the menu, switch the cluster to km/h, and the needle jumps to the km/h-correct number. Like – if it was at 60ish in mph, it jumps to 100. And there’s just a mph or kmh indicator in plain view – the correct one is illuminated to show you were you stand.
No steering headlights. Atrocious, I say. Till you realize that there’s actually a whole SIDE projector in the bumper on each side, that illuminates in turns. Which works way better – and is I suspect way cheaper to make.
I have been critical enough to US machinery to acknowledge when they do good. This thing is good. The simple fact that I see quite a few of these as NYC taxis is indication enough.
my apologies. I’m sure they were great!
As someone who owned a first-generation Soul for 11 years, I’m sad to see the nameplate go. Most people would struggle to name a Kia model other than the Soul (ok, maybe the Telluride at this point) and I think that might have contributed to its demise… most automakers would probably rather not have their most recognizable model also be their cheapest one.
The Soul was a surprisingly good vehicle for the price and we’d have purchased another one if we could have. Alas, it was only special order by the time we were looking again.
40 fluid ounces from me too, Torch.
i’m sad to see the nameplate go as well but that 2.0 engine is a really garbage motor. it is extremely fuel efficient and the power is acceptable but it does not last much beyond 100k miles.
Yeah, my 2013 was the pre-GDI 2.0. It was perfectly reliable and the power was good (164hp) but the economy wasn’t great.
It’s hard to make a box aerodynamic! But the city mileage is fine. My 2012 2.0/6MT (steal that, you heathens) is still kicking at 120k miles and inspired my daughter to choose a 2024 Soul as her first new car.
Meanwhile, I’d love to see an article on the number of vehicles the Soul single-handedly eradicated from the marketplace. Off top of head: Cube, xB (and Scion, really), Trax1 and that hideous Buick clone, EcoSport. All this success now suddenly ruined by some tariff-crazed knucklehead.
just sold my 2017 elantra with the same 2.0 and after about 70k miles constant issues with carbon deposits on the valves. causing missfires, fould plugs, blown coils. even if you got them cleaned properly it was still a once a year job sometimes wouldn’t last that long. always kept clean air filters and changed oil on time.
I think I read that the Altima has been given another year?
Much like its customer base, it’s currently awaiting the results of an appeal.
The Audis and Porsches are nice enough, but other than that I’m not spilling any of my precious Mad Dog for this sorry lot.
By the way, those Mohs cars are absolutely deranged. Homer Simpson come to life. And that featured Safarikar has more than a hint of psychopathy to it.
I’m honestly not thrilled about things that aren’t crossovers leaving the market. I know I’m in the minority, and I get that car companies are going to focus on what sells. Still, the alternatives for the rest of us get fewer and fewer all the time.
Shopping for an affordable(ish) fun sedan now is pretty bleak.
Yep. 🙁
How TF is Pacifica still here? Or really, Chrysler? (and I own one)
Same and I have no idea.
I’d have started drinking again if the Cybertruck had been on this list.
the fact that it and the Altima live on is proof that we’re in the bad place
Ugh. Both the A4 and the A7? Brutal. Traffic will be uglier without them. 🙁
Both shells of what they once were, unfortunately. The new ones are just so uninspiring.
The GV80 is just the GV80 EV right? I wouldn’t think they would discontinue their best seller.
Yes just the EV. It’s in a pinkish shade of red on the red Genesis GV80 line. Pretty much invisible on mobile, and certainly if you have any sort of shade deficiency with red.
There is no GV80 EV. There’s a G80 EV that’s disappearing…
The Genesis Electrified G80 Is Getting Axed in the United States
Amazing top shot – we couldn’t even be bothered to get Colt 45 I see, had to go for Olde English. Maybe next year we could use Mad Dog.
The loss of the 718s, Lexuses, and the Soul are the only ones on the list that really register for me. I think you were plenty generous.
As those whimsical bards “Tha Alkaholics” said: What’s your favorite brew? O. E. And what it make you do? Go. Pee.
Why is GM discontinuing the gas-powered Blazer? The rest of this list I wouldn’t have bought anyway.
And what is Car-Play? What does that have to do with the Blazer?
Car-Play is apple’s phone-car interface, giving you navigation, calling, and music through your car on-screen via your phone. Android has a similar service. GM wants you to use their in-car ecosystem and not your phone’s. It was great when your car’s maps were out of date and instead you can use your phone’s real-time updated google/apple maps instead.
GM refuses to allow support for it and pretty much every i-phone user I know uses it over their car’s in-car offerings and is a turn off for some people that it’s outright blocked.
To be fair, GM said they would pull out CarPlay during midcycle updates and next-generation models, which means the current ICE Blazer is safe but the next-gen due in 2027 will be without it–which is stupid…
Thanks for clarifying, I don’t follow GM stuff too closely.
They aren’t, it’s only going away for 2026. The second gen comes out in 2027
Thank you.
I had a former coworker who bought the new ICE Blazer with the 3.6 and AWD when it came out and really loved it. He said it was very powerful.
I thought it looked nice for a 4-door SUV with an automatic. It was that dark red color. Don’t know if he still has it.
We get in the 3.6 RS versions here at work every once in a while and they’re absolutely fantastic to drive for a mid size SUV. They drive so much smaller than they are with the special diff in the RS models.
Oh yeah, his was an RS.
The soul is indeed very sad. They just kept getting better but not as fun colors or interior choices. There are a fair amount of truckers that absolutely hate them and claim they are driven by idiots I guess they like Altimas crashing in to them or something. Soul and legacy had some real value and there doesn’t seem to be anything to fill the gaps yet. I suppose the truckets and hopefully some kei type vehicles will fill the gap. If vinfast could figure out it’s corruption in Vietnam get it’s self in to gear making an American market vf3 and that little trick thing could be interesting at around $15k.
Old people fucking LOVED the Soul – cheap and cheerful with upright seating. That’s probably a contributor to the reputation. I certainly see a lot going 5 under the speed limit at dusk.
All those little box cars are great for old and mobility challenged people. But all marketed towards youth. They were paying a premium for used xbs and cubes. I wouldn’t be shocked if souls fetch a premium until they find something else. The leaf works ok for them if they want to go electric and don’t need to go far. I’m sure the old people didn’t help the reputation I’ve encountered a fair amount of people that are kinda scatter brained not great drivers and admit it that drive souls. They tend to know there limits but end up on interstates from time to time. They know the reputation and embrace it. I can’t say ive ever been cut off by a soul but passed many. Still better then an Altima swerving into you at speed.
I’m one of those old farts that absolutely loves the Soul, however this lead footed senior is usually going 80-85 mph in the left lane!
My first car was a Kia, and I always had a soft spot for the Soul. I also love a boxy car (I had an xB for a time) and was delighted to have one for a rental car once – it was actually even better than I expected despite the automatic and base engine. I don’t love that they made them more crossover-y in the latest generation – I know that’s what the market wants but I wonder if it muddied the waters with all of the other small crossovers in the Kia stable.
The LC500 is a real loss. It represents what Lexus once could do but no longer seems interested in.
Hard to believe the iconic Boxster is going away. The A4 is a bummer, doubly so considering what they did to the redesigned A5. Two dead German mainstays
The Volvos are beautiful and I like sedans, so that’s sad.
I’m not sure anything else on the list is worth mourning or provides anything you can’t find elsewhere.
Had to laugh about the “elegant as a gilded fecal impaction” line.
LC isn’t gone yet, just the pathetic V6 hybrid version
Didn’t I just read the other day that Nissan changed its mind and is continuing/dis-discontinuing the Altima in 2026? Sentra’s gone, though. Cue Monty Python’s “…I’m not dead yet.”
Versa is gone. Nissan just redesigned the Sentra for 2026.
I’m surprised it didn’t show up here and get the full 40 for being the last cheap manual car.
I’ve seen those articles as well, just not here yet.
All the expected targets. Cadillac, Kia, Audi, Parsch, MB, Nissan, Infinity and Acura. Most from EV envy, a few aged out and many from tariffs. So sad, meanwhile I’d like two fingers of single malt Oban, neat please.
Wagons are pretty much dead in the US at this point and this lost shows sedans will be gone soon to it sucks because for me as someone that will not be having kids so for my daily driver’s I much prefer something smaller vs a cross over or SUV.
The B5 A4, especially post-refresh, damn near re-launched the Audi brand in the US.
Audi was about as relevant as Infiniti is today, until that thing came out. No, it didn’t handle anything like a 3-series. It didn’t surprise everyone like the G35. Yet it was handsome, simple, practical, and offered AWD when that was still very rare. They also can be a meme to maintain long-term, but they sold in very solid numbers.
It also didn’t catch the attention like the R8 did, but it showed that Audi was intending to be relevant, and that’s Piech’s efforts to go after a goal should never be ignored.
My grandad loved audis, he had everything from one of the Quattros with the I5 to a later c4 s6. He passed in 2002 but my grandma’s always chosen A4s since then, so they’re oddly sentimental to the family. Sad to see them go
“It didn’t surprise everyone like the G35”
I was a little surprised at how strong that 2.0-liter turbo was, and how decent it sounded for that engine configuration. Paired with the DSG, that A4 could fly.
Loved the retro linear dashboard as well. Very appealing cars, shame what Audi did to it.
I worked on a friend’s B5 ’99 Passat and the memes are definitely true about keeping them alive long term.