As anyone who has neglected feeding a fish for weeks at a time can tell you, all things must die. Eventually. That goes for cars, too, and this year the butcher’s bill is over 30 cars long, depending on whose list you happen to be reading. Whatever the exact number, it’s a lot of cars that will be driving across the Rainbow Road come next year, and it seems important for us to acknowledge these dead cars driving, and, more importantly, tell you precisely how much of a feces we give about these passings.
To grade how much we care about the demise of each car, we’ll be using the recognized international standard of how much one grieves the passing of something: by how much booze is decanted onto the ground from a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor. As you can imagine, more booze means more remorse, on a scale of zero to 40 ounces.
Okay, let’s get to this, we have a lot of these to work through, and, to be honest, it’s hard to care about a lot of these cars. I almost placed these in alphabetical order, but that’s not how these graphics populated the article when I imported them all in here, so I’ll just take this order as some sort of sign from the Almighty.
Oh, you know what else? For some of these – perhaps most– I may suggest a dead car that should be resurrected to replace it!
The Audi A7 bids adieu come 2026, and I think that’s worth just a bit over half the malt liquor bottle, mostly because I’m feeling more sympathetic to non-SUVs, and the A7 is something I like even more than a sedan: a five-door liftback. I’ll be sorry to see that go, even if I rarely encountered these cars and, as a result, have precious little personal connection to them.
What To Resurrect: Merkur Scorpio
I suppose I’m feeling a bit more nostalgia for the Legacy than some of these other cars, as I still recall the handsome 1989 Legacies of my youth. And, also, sedans are becoming so very rare; Subaru still has the WRX, but that’s it for them! So I’ll pour out over 3/4s of it!
What To Resurrect: The 1989 Subaru Legacy
Like every other company, Volvo is paring down their sedans. In fact, I don’t think they even have any sedans left for sale in America! There’s still the V60 Cross Country wagon, their lone remaining actual station wagon, as they hint at with how this category is listed on their website:
So sad. I’ll dump out 30 ounces for this one.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 262C Bertone
The S90 was Volvo’s fancy, rich-people sedan, and was killed primarily because of the hefty tariffs on this Chinese-built car. They’ll still be available in China and other parts of the world, but if you’re rich in America and really, really want a fancy Volvo, you’ll just have to buy an old 240 and spend $300,000 at some bespoke upfitter like the rest of us peasants.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 240, for the rich people to upfit, like I just said
This one is a little weird, because Porsche seems to have sort of wavered on their plans here. Originally, this entry-level Porsche was to be the last combustion-powered Macan, but now it looks like there will be a new, arguably worse combustion-Macan coming next. But it’s going away, and I guess it’s worth at least 23 ounces, since I’m soft on any entry-level anything, and I always thought these looked pretty good.
What To Resurrect: Porsche 597 Jagdwagen
This is basically the same as the Audi A7, but you know, faster. That’s why I gave it four more ounces.
What To Resurrect: Merkur XR4ti
Ah, the Q8 E-tron! It’s going away! I’ve seen like three of these out in the wild. These seem like pretty decent EVs, with decent range and what I’m told is good handling and all that, but it’s still pretty hard to really, you know, care. 12 ounces is a whole beer can, so that seems fair.
What To Resurrect: How about an Audi Fox wagon? In bright green?
I’ve seen a few of these in the wild, and I can’t say I know all that much about them, but I do think an electric delivery van is a great application for EVs in general, especially for “last-mile” routes, so we’ll spill almost 30 ounces of precious, golden malt liquor for the Brightdrop.
What To Resurrect: Some sort of modernized electric DKW Schnellaster
These fastback SUVs always seemed a little silly to me, but whatever. We’ll dump 11 ounces for this one and probably barely think about it again.
What To Resurrect: How about a LaForza?
Honestly? I think I was a little too generous for this one. These were huge, expensive lumbering beasts, about as elegant as a gilded fecal impaction. They were fast and pretty comfortable, so there’s that, I guess.
What To Resurrect: Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan
This was Cadillac’s smaller SUV, and was discontinued to make way for electric SUVs. Is it a shame these are gone? I guess? These were handsome-looking crossovers, and they did seem to come in a shade of green. So we can dump out the equivalent of a can and a half. Wait, no, a can and a third?
What To Resurrect: How about the OG Citroën Ami? Those were nice and weird.
The Cadillac XT6 is going away, which just means, what? If you really wanted one, you should just get a lightly used Escalade?
What To Resurrect: Cadillac Seville (the bustleback one)
I think relatively affordable cars of any kind are needed right now, so I’m not thrilled to see the Blazer go. Of course, GM’s decision to not allow CarPlay in their cars kicks this off most people’s lists, so I guess it barely matters. Still, I’ll give 21 ounces.
What To Resurrect: Daihatsu Naked
Oh no! The Ford Escape is no longer going to be sold in America! That’s what it would sound like if people gave a shit about this, which, I assure you, they don’t. I mean, maybe someone does, but I have yet to meet them. Just get a Bronco Sport or something if it hurts.
What To Resurrect: Ford Ka
I think Genesis has a strong design vocabulary, so in that sense, I guess I should lament the loss of any good-looking car, but they also have a very consistent design language, so it’s not like there aren’t plenty of other Genesises out there with basically the same look. So, 23 oz is all you get, and that’s generous.
What To Resurrect: BMW 600
The QX50 is going away? Oh no. Look, I’ll give 12 whole ounces just to not have to give a shit here.
What To Resurrect: Studebaker Avanti
Didn’t I just do this one? Ugh, the QX55, right, fine. I don’t care. Two ounces. Whatever.
What To Resurrect: How about the VW Squareback? Those were cool as hell.
I’m not pouring out anything for the Wagoneer because it’s really just getting a name change to the Grand Wagoneer and besides, these are pretty boring as it is. Fine. Keep it, kill it, I don’t give a rat’s rectum.
What To Resurrect: Jeep FC! And the van one they never made, too!
Ah, the Soul! I’m going to pour out the whole thing for this one because it’s not just the Soul that’s ending, it’s the last of this particular kind of affordable, useful, small, cube-shaped car, and that’s a category I really appreciate. They’re sort of like larger versions of Kei tall-boy cars, maximizing volume in a small package. We once had the Nissan Cube, Scion xB, and the Soul. Now we have none. That’s sad.
What To Resurrect: First-gen Scion xB!
I’m going to pour out a lot for the Lexus LC, because this kind of fast, RWD luxury coupé is becoming more and more uncommon. And yes, that’s a shame. 32 ounces of shame.
What To Resurrect: Crosley Hot Shot
Damn, the RC platform is almost 12 years old! I guess this one was getting pretty old. Still, sport coupés are becoming less and less available, so I’ll splash out a lot for the passing of these.
What To Resurrect: Checker Marathon, but a sport-coupé version
These things weren’t exactly flying off the shelves. They were nice enough EV SUVs, I suppose, but if you can find anyone who will be really broken up by their discontinuation, you should put a tent over them and sell tickets.
What To Resurrect: Mercedes-Benz Pagoda
This was one of those “coupé” SUVs that weren’t actually coupés, but were worse-shaped and less-useful SUVs. I don’t care that it’s gone. So there.
What To Resurrect: Mazda GLC, the real GLC
See above. I gave it one extra ounce because why the hell not. Good riddance.
What To Resurrect: Pretty much anything
The Altima has achieved a sort of cult, pop-culture status as a sort of unpredictable agent of automotive chaos, though that’s really more likely just a byproduct of it being widely available and affordable. It’s become fairly boring lately though, so maybe it’s best it bows out now, before fading into true obscurity. It’s worth at least 15 ounces.
What To Resurrect: Any Nissan Pike factory car
I’m not sure there’s a car that has taken the world less by storm than the Nissan Ariya. Sure, it’s pretty nice and is Infiniti-adjacent in terms of quality, but there’s a lot of competition in the EV crossover space, and it’s just hard to find a reason to care. The tariffs didn’t help either. Drip, drip.
What To Resurrect: Nissan Rasheen
I remember driving these when they first came out. They were fine, only came in shades of gray, and there really weren’t that many compelling reasons to get one. All I really remember about my drive in one was that the infotainment system had a fantastic bug that gave my average speed at something over 400 mph. Six ounces spilled is plenty.
What To Resurrect: Volvo 1800ES
You know what, let’s group this with the one below:
Okay, both the 718s, in open Boxster and closed Cayman forms, were to be discontinued to make room for new EV sportscars, but I’m not so sure how that’s going to play out? Regardless, I’m sad to see any mid-engined, horizontally-opposed piston’d cars go, so I’ll pour out most of my 40 for these two.
What To Resurrect: Porsche 912
Another example of the Great Sedan Pruning, I suppose Acura really couldn’t justify both the TLX and the Integra, and of the two, I guess I’m glad they kept the Integra.
What To Resurrect: Honda Element, but as an Acura. Call it a Molecule.
I think I liked the first gen of these more, with the more dramatically stupid fastback. This one I don’t think I’ve ever thought about. It’s lucky to get five ounces.
What To Resurrect: I don’t know. The Corvair.
Didn’t I already do this one? Oh, that was the A7. Fine. Sedans are going away, yadda yadda, it’s terrible, oh no, 22 ounces, blah blah blah. There.
What To Resurrect: Glas V8
Oy, that was a lot of these. That’s sort of grim, isn’t it? Well, here’s hoping better things take the place of these deadbeats.
Sorry to see sedans, wagons, and coupes go. Hope I can continue to safely maneuver around all the giant, overpriced trucks and SUVs.
I leased an A7 diesel…and it was spectacular.
Not terribly quick out of a standing start…but the diesel twist really was awesome once you got rolling and driving dynamics were as good as it gets (with the electric decoupled steering) The interior was simply perfect. With the back seats down, it would nearly swallow a sheet of plywood.
The absolute best feature of the Audi A7d was that the infotainment screen disappeared into the dash with one click of a button. All you were left with was a beautiful old Audi graphic screen with all the information you needed brilliantly displayed. This feature allowed you to focus on purely driving.
Alas…it was a dirty diesel and Audi grabbed it back from me with a very nice bundle of cash on the table for a new S5 Liftback…also brilliant…but I missed the disappearing infotainment screen feature.
I poured one out many years ago for that A7…Audi could do well to revisit the concept.
Some BMW XMs are dropped for 2026, but it still, too, soldiers on in at least one form…
The Standard BMW XM Is Gone From The United States
Very sad news that monstrosity is staying around
Seriously. Yuck.
Surely the Ariya is only discontinued in the US. Otherwise Nissan took a massive bath on this thing.
who’s gonna help me paint a memorial mural for the nissan altima RIP
I could swear it’s surviving at least another model year. They backtracked on full cancellation, right?
That’s correct. This article appears to be, unfortunately and unusually, littered with inaccurate or incomplete information.
Exaggerated Demise? Nissan’s Altima won’t be discontinued after all
I’m working on t-shirts displaying an Altima with angel wings.
I’ll also be handing out ‘In Loving Memory’ stickers for the rear windows of our rusting Chevy Malibus on mismatched wheels.
It’s in the Hertz/Enterprise/Budget/Avis Hall of Fame.
Not I. Unfortunately, it’s sticking around and not all of them have been hurled into the sun yet.
I once had a 2017 A4 with a 6speed, sport package and tech package and I gotta say I still miss that car. It was quick enough, amazingly quiet interior, great sound system and just looked the part of a great Q car. Whole 40 from me for the A4.
Edit: I forgot the A4 got shifted to “A5” because of Audi’s weird “odd numbers = ICE, even numbers = EV” naming shuffle.
Still, the A5 has some weirdo bits I’m not a fan of, like those cursed electric door handles. I will mourn the A4’s non-stupid door handles. The fact that the A4/5’s gotten worse while the Altima lives on is proof that we’re on the cursed timeline.
The LC 500 isn’t gone
They discontinued the LC500h. Yes they made a hybrid version, it wasn’t a “performance” hybrid, it only had the NA 3.5 V6, so it was pointless. Not pouring a single ounce out for that.
I’ve never seen one and I work at a Lexus dealer
Thank you for correcting that. I was surprised and disappointed at that news as I recently got a chance to drive an LC500 for an afternoon and damn that was a fun GT car.
Hard disagree, it needs to be the 2006 Legacy Spec B
I had an ’06 wagon, and while not the Spec B, I can see why people loved them. Imo that was the last truly great Legacy generation and it was all downhill from there. By the time I was needing to replace my car I didn’t even bother shopping the newer Legacy.
A friend of mine recently purchased a Bright Drop. I haven’t ridden in it yet but have checked it out inside. It seems OK and is a proper walk in truck for multi stop deliveries, not that he does that. His wife does say the jump seat is uncomfortable and since it sits lower and it mounted against the bulkhead it is colder and the cup holder is out of reach. Not that she will end up riding in it very much. He seems to be happy with it so far. I was happy to dump his ex Amazon Sprinter as its transmission was acting up and the check engine light frequently came on indicating a problem with the DEF system, which he was just clearing and ignoring.
There are people who care the Escape is gone and that is a lot of Ford dealers as for many it was one of their top sellers. No, not very many are going to move to a Bronco Sport since it is smaller and there is no Hybrid or PHEV version.
I genuinely didn’t know the Brightdrop existed until maybe august of this year when my local pet store purchased one. Honestly, it actually makes sense for them. I’m in a large metro area where most of their drives are in city and probably don’t drive that many miles over the day. Too bad it didn’t catch on.
What To Resurrect: Honda Element, but as an Acura. Call it a Molecule.
I see what you did there . . . sneak in a little, square vehicle.
We had a first gen Legacy. I think it was in the “L” trim. Manual transmission. Manual radio antenna – that’s right, you had to extend it by hand. Not many frills. Good little car and handsome in its own way.
It’s funny, here is the good ole midwest several of these were likely sold in numbers less than my age. I’ve seen most when in SoCal. GM is motoring quickly toward their next bankruptcy. I guess the pension plan is costing more than they like. Audi is trying to become Infiniti. Infiniti is the best way to tell your neighbors you have bad credit. Porsche will be known by most people as nothing but an SUV company, and Mercedes needs a direction.
2 40s for the Soul, those things were cheery as hell.
the hamsters ruined it for me
The animators/designers couldn’t find a happy medium for those things…the original, giant anatomically-correct hamsters were extremely disturbing when they stood up on two legs to dance. The final design, with hamster heads on humanoid bodies, was…something.
Glad I missed those ads. All I remember was the bobbing heads.
My buddy loved that he got some sort of hamster doll with his new Soul, and that the led lights in the car rocked to the music and he didn’t have to pay extra. He was the target demo.
That actually sounds cute!
The Altima and the Blazer are both still kicking. Not getting killed….
Nissan continues Altima for 2026, saving sedan from chopping block
The most surprising thing on this list is the XM. I thought it had already been cut. The Soul and the Brightdrop are the most disappointing.
And I do think that the Escape being cut is disappointing, since it had a hybrid and PHEV that are not available in the Bronco Sport.
Do I care if Ford cuts the Escape and doesn’t have a small hybrid SUV? Not really. But I think that Ford should care very deeply. Maybe I’m wrong – maybe they’ll be super successful continuing to cut the entry models and pushing the brand up-market (but just in size and cost, not in quality).
Yeah, even if the Bronco Sport was outselling the Escape by a ton, there’s a market for hybrids, and financial instability is going to have people looking for more affordable and more efficient vehicles. The Escape might not be anyone’s favorite vehicle, but it certainly fills a niche.
The escape wasn’t affordable relative to its competitors, which is part of the reason. It was in general, option for option more expensive or equal to the cars in its class while offering less quality and fit and finish.
True, but it was affordable relative to other Ford vehicles. And I do believe Ford still has a strong brand loyalty for some reason. They’re just pricing themselves even further from budget competitors and practically asking people to switch brands.
Most of the brand loyalty I see is because I’m from the midwest, so in the groups I know its always either
After writing that out, it may not be area dependent but its more steeped in some weird family history thing than actual desire for the vehicle.
That actually matches up with what I’ve seen in the PNW. Ford people come from Ford families. Toyota people buy into the longevity and lack of depreciation. Subaru people are what you’d expect a Subaru person to be. And I don’t think I know of any other brands that can match those three on loyalty.
Ford is so peculiar in that way. Getting more expensive, releasing cars and raising their price while removing options every year, quality is on a terrible run the last few years.
I ordered a ford Maverick Lariat with FX4/Lux/4K and hot pepper red paint and received it late 2021. Not only can you not order one with FX4 anymore (and the FX4 package on the XLT has lost options every year), but the truck I paid $36105 for in 2021 is over $40,000 easily now without FX4. The FX4 package is just one example I remember off the top of my head, however looking at some of the other things my truck came with, they just simply aren’t there anymore on any trim. I also had 4-5 recalls in the first year, granted first model year of a new truck but they’ve had at least 1-2 stop sale recalls and others since.
Yeah, I had an order for a Lariat Maverick on release, then decided to cancel to wait and see if they added AWD to the hybrid and/or a PHEV. Every time I checked, it came with less and cost more. Still a little sad that I turned down the yellow Maverick with all the stuff.
They got rid of all sedans. OK, fine.
Then they got rid of the Ecosport (which I know people had issues with, but it was their cheapest vehicle by a mile and a hot segment).
And now the Maverick is the cheapest option, but realistically over $30k ($29,535 one a zero option XL with the destination fees).
Do you need a really cheap entry level car to get first time buyers in the door? Maybe not when people are happy with your product but probably when there’s been so many issues with quality.
Ok, don’t sell a sedan like the Japanese or Koreans. But GM will sell you a couple flavors of compact SUV under $25k.
I would say if you have a consistent product that people continue to be happy with, you may not need an entry level car but I think ford needs to change where they are going. To your point, moving upmarket while not fixing the issues for the customers you already have AND not producing a product that matches your market point is certainly a choice.
I hate anecdotal evidence but even as a younger person I’ve owned 4 fords new from the lot. Maverick was the last one and I ended up going elsewhere. I know a few others who have as well or are in the process.
If the AWD Hybrid Maverick was available a year and a half ago, and it was $26k (something in the “inflation adjusted cost from where they started when they launched) we’d have one in the driveway now.
But my buddy’s Escape is going in for an engine replacement at 75k miles. His wife’s Fusion hybrid has had parasitic draw issues that they’ve hopefully finally solved after months of replacing shit. Hard not to say “replace that thing with a Camry” more than once.
I totally get it. I briefly looked at another maverick early this year and was like fine, I don’t need a lariat if it’s going to be expensive. Even a reasonably spec’d XLT was more than what my at one point top of the line truck was. That point wasn’t even that long ago, it was literally 3 years ago.
I think it became very obvious in the case of the Maverick when the base truck went from $20k to almost $30k. I knew they’d go up, but jesus.
The especially terrible thing about cutting the Escape if that Ford is proclaiming they will be offering more HEV and PHEV vehicles and they cut the one vehicle that offered both options with nothing to replace it.
The other people besides the dealers that deeply care about the fact that the last Escape has rolled off the line are the workers who just lost their jobs. Sure the plant is going to be retooled for the “universal EV” but that will not come close to the volume of the Escape and Corsair any time soon.
I have an Escape PHEV, bought after my C-max was totaled. I would happily trade it in on a Bronco Sport Hybrid, but alas they don’t make one. I only got the PHEV version because of the massive tax discount, which I was able to transfer to the selling dealer and take off the sticker price.
The Escape getting cut right now is a real head-scratcher. I see a lot more of those on the roads than Bronco Sports, and there’s a need for more reasonably-priced, efficient cars.
Damn, I’m sorry to see the Soul go. It was the Little Caesar’s Hot N’ Ready of cars. You can sneer at it’s cheapness, but it unquestionably filled a market niche.
When Porsche brings back the Jagdwagen, they’ll have to Americanize it to Jackwagon.
Instantly reminded me of the album cover: It’s On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa
Come on, guys… You’re normally better than this.
The Blazer isn’t dead—and it’s only the EV losing CarPlay…
https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a63704246/2025-chevy-blazer-gas-dead/
And there is no GV80 EV, it’s the G80 EV that’s been discontinued.
Finally, the A4 replacement was renamed the A5, so it’s only the nameplate that’s dead, not the entry in the portfolio.
Mary Barra has said they are dropping CarPlay and Android Auto from all cars. They haven’t gotten there yet, but that’s the current plan.
https://insideevs.com/news/776704/gm-apple-carplay-android-auto-remove-all-cars/
Well, yes, but not from the vehicles that already offer it. It will disappear in updated and next-generation vehicles (which, yes, is an ill-advised decision). So the current Blazer (and Silverado, and Envista, and everything else) are safe until stuff gets updated or replaced.
Right, but it should be due for a refresh soon enough, which is part of why there was the rumor it would be going away. So it’s not wrong to think that an upcoming refresh would make it less popular and less worth keeping anyway.
Shocked and saddened by the 40 pints of booze that Torch poured on the ground.
Don’t worry, it was Anaconda Malt Liquor. The only malt liquor to give you a Little Richard
“First they came for the cheap booze, and I did not speak out—because I was not a hobo….”
The Cayman is worthy, though. :'(
RIP king, I’m whipping out the GOOD Malört for this one. :'( :'( :'( :”””””(
The loss of the escape is regrettable since that means no affordable PHEV from Ford. The Ford:Toyota drive train is excellent and those PHEV RAV 4s aren’t exactly discounted. If your daily drive is 30 miles or less the Escape PHEV and just a common 120 outlet for overnight recharging is/was a very decent choice.
Yup, ours serves us quite well. When we aren’t taking a road trip we can get 1000mi plus out of a tank of fuel and when we go on a road trip ~40mpg is quite doable at ~70mph. Much cheaper to drive around town than a Hybrid and cheaper and quicker to road trip than an EV.
The Kia Soul is Sad. My Kid has had one for 10 years. It will be missed.
Also, Wow I would totally love a Audi Fox in bright green.
Wow, this is a huge list and some of these I wasn’t even aware of. The A4!? I get that Audi has sort of screwed it up over these recent years, but goddamn.
The Soul probably deserves a few ounces intercepted from the ground, if only because of the Kia Boyz fiasco, and also because of the pretty shitty 2.0L.
The LC I will mourn forevermore. That’s me dumping two 40s at the same time, and standing there, silently until the inside of both bottles are dry.
Yeah man. The LC. Years after launch that thing is just incredible. I think its a future classic. It really is too bad that the sport luxury coupe if a dead class. And just to make room for more amorphous blob crossovers.
The LC isn’t gone yet. It might not make it to ’27, but it’s still here for now
https://www.lexus.com/models/LC
I’ll have to lobby my local wealthy person to buy one, in hopes of seeing it around town.
A4 was replaced by the A5. Same basic idea, just a new and more upscale name–and that only happened before Audi reversed their decision to give their gasoline vehicles odd-number badges. The A5 was supposed to still be the A4 until a couple of years ago.
I see, the A5 apparently is more or less a slightly coupe-ified (yuck) A4. I guess I thought to myself the A5 was literally just a coupe version of the A4. More than likely, the Audis have come to look so similar that I haven’t noticed the difference.
All of it is confusing as hell of course. But I also don’t keep up on luxury cars much, as my region is mostly devoid of them.
The A5 has been the alternative body form of the A4. 2-door coupe, convertible, and 5 door liftback whereas the A4 is traditional 4-door sedan only.
The 2018-2024 five-door A5 liftback was a brilliant vehicle. The redesigned new one looks like garbage inside and out. Audi lost me on this one.
There’s an A5 in the work fleet and I want to personally fight the person who made those capacitive-touch door pulls. I shall draw an octagon in the middle of the floor at work. It’s go time. I’m going to run in yelling about unsafe electric-door-handle-caused deaths, too. I’m out of shape right now, but this one makes me angry. It’s at least still comfortable and nice to drive, but the door handles are some of the worst ones I’ve ever seen.
The Puffalumps have my back on this. They’d melt if an emergency crew couldn’t yank them out of a burning A5 in time because the dumb door handles weren’t operable.
The kia soul is a shame, but as someone who grew up enjoying OE800’s and even the High Gravity’s when I could get them….I won’t waste a drop on any of the others.
Always remember to hold your 40’s up high, or in a bag so they don’t get too warm at the end. Also “you drink the first half, to get to the second half”