Home » Humanity Has Created The Most Cursed Car Imaginable, May God Have Mercy On Anyone Who Tries To Buy It

Humanity Has Created The Most Cursed Car Imaginable, May God Have Mercy On Anyone Who Tries To Buy It

Triumph Yugo 3qf Copy

Body swaps have resulted in some wild creations, and I’m not talking about the Shaggy D.A. here. Cutting the shiny side off of one car and welding it to the oily side of another has produced the awesome Roadkill Nascarlo, classic F-Series trucks that drive like 2000s Crown Vics, and at least one Morris Minor that’s actually a Prius. However, a unibody swap in particular is a wildly difficult procedure that’s easy to get in over your head on. That appears to be the case with this astounding attempt at Anglo-Slavic engineering.

You don’t have to know about cars to have a vague concept of what a Yugo is. It’s the $4,990 car that inspired a thousand jokes, an inexpensive Fiat 128-based Yugoslavian subcompact that caught the attention of Armie Hammer’s great-grandad before eventually being imported to America by the man behind the Bricklin SV-1. Sales of this slow but affordable machine did manage to peak at 48,812 units in 1987 before a rapid decline. Thanks partly to an emissions scandal, partly to conflict, and partly to UN sanctions on Yugoslavia, Yugo was done in America by 1992. Just in time for the demise of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia itself.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

On the flipside, you do need to know a little bit about cars to understand the Triumph TR7. More than just a sports car shaped like a wedge of cheese, it was a British-made machine launched in January 1975. Now, early 1975 wasn’t exactly the finest time for the motor industry. In America, new emissions and safety regulations strangled big blocks, raised the ride height of sports cars, and tacked enormous five MPH bumpers onto either end of anything that moved. In Britain, tensions ran particularly high between workers and management at British Leyland, and due to a variety of economic issues, the automaker that owned Triumph was teetering on the verge of collapse when the TR7 launched. Perhaps that’s why it had a rather poor reputation for quality, even though I still like the car for inexplicable reasons.

Melding two such infamous cars into one ignominious creation sounds like an unwise idea, but that didn’t stop it from happening. Unsurprisingly, the result is now up for sale on Facebook Marketplace for $1,000, and it does unfortunately look less than the sum of its parts.

Fiat Yugo Engine
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

What you’re looking at here is a two-liter eight-valve single-overhead-cam slant-four in all its glory. Barely cresting the triple-digit mark when it comes to horsepower, it nevertheless represents a substantial upgrade over the mid-double-digits a stock Yugo made. Of course, it’s still attached to the underside of a Triumph TR7, but that bit of white cowling hanging over the engine is a hint of exactly what’s going on here.

Fiat Yugo Front
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

Whew, that’s rough as old boots. While the wheelbases of a Yugo GV and a Triumph TR7 are only four-tenths of an inch apart, there’s a lot more to a body swap than just lining up the wheels in the arches. This Yugo looks like a monster truck because the bottom of its sills are sitting well above the floorpan of the TR7. Why? The next shot should make this abundantly clear.

Fiat Yugo Rear
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

Ah, yes, it appears the builder of this chimera simply sliced off the TR7 floorpan behind the rear wheels and mounted the Yugo body atop whatever was left via points like the rear valence. A body swap normally involves countless hours of cutting, welding, and massaging sheet metal to get two unrelated cars to merge like a zipper, yet this one takes a top hat approach.

Fiat Yugo 3qf
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

The amount of air between the TR7 sills and the Yugo sills is especially apparent in this shot, which seems especially disconcerting for a number of reasons. Firstly, that’s a whole lot of camber for a MacPherson strut front suspension. Secondly, how exactly is the Yugo body actually attached to the guts of the TR7?

Fiat Yugo Seats
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

A quick gander at the seats and rear interior doesn’t turn up many clues. Not only does a bit of Yugo sheetmetal appear to overlap the TR7 seat itself, but I don’t see any substantial welds clearly holding everything together.

Fiat Yugo Wheel
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

Perhaps the most cursed thing about this entire creation, however, is the dashboard, which appears to feature the Yugo’s entire dash structure perched atop the TR7’s dash structure. Look, you can even see the TR7 wiper spindles. This is, to use an industry-standard technical term, a clusterfuck. Really, what remains of the Yugo shell ought to be sectioned back to pretty much the base of the windscreen in order to get everything to sit more or less correctly. This means carefully slicing away at the cowl, the wheel wells, and what remains of the Yugo floor. Not to mention deleting what’s left of the TR7 spare tire well and trimming what’s left of the rear frame rails.

Fiat Yugo 3qr
Photo credit: Facebook Marketplace

It’s theoretically possible to make this merging of two much maligned vehicles work. The wheelbases are close enough, and all-metal box flares can cover many sins, but it will require a great deal more time and effort than what’s been spent here. Someone could take on this project, but they’ll have to be an absolute masochist to see it to fruition. For now, what we have here is a proper horror show of a car.

Top graphic image: Facebook Marketplace

 

 

 

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M SV
M SV
3 minutes ago

Oh it’s that one. Guy has bene trying to sell it for a long time. I guess trying to be entertaining in a half way is more powerful then a case of beer. But I suspect malt liquor or Canadian whiskey was involved in such poor decision making.

Eric Gonzalez
Eric Gonzalez
6 minutes ago

Yu-go to the hospital to get a tetanus shot

LTDScott
Member
LTDScott
13 minutes ago

Shitish Leyland

ClutchAbuse
Member
ClutchAbuse
23 minutes ago

Sometimes the crusher is the only option.

Drive By Commenter
Member
Drive By Commenter
24 minutes ago

First step: get it runn……..(quick reconsideration)…..,er, get it burning.

Tong Thrower
Member
Tong Thrower
29 minutes ago

This is the kind of decision someone who owns both of these cars would make.

(Building it, not selling it. I bet that was someone else’s idea.)

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
37 minutes ago

…and y’all complain about the cars I choose…

Anonymous Person
Anonymous Person
39 minutes ago

I vote CP today.

AnscoflexII
Member
AnscoflexII
43 minutes ago

I mean, if you get the Yugo shell properly attached to the Triumph floor/chassis legs/etc., you are a brief trip to the junkyard to get an old Range Rover 3.5 liter engine, at which point you can have what I might guess is the only V-8 powered Yugo in the woooorllllld.

Clark B
Member
Clark B
44 minutes ago

Look at the bright side. Someone out there might have a Yugo with a bad body, and a TR7 with a bad frame. This could be their dream come true!

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