Look, everybody makes mistakes. They’re bound to happen, and there is a flurry of boilerplate sayings about what you should do when they occur (“get back up and dust yourself off!”). Sometimes you can see a mistake coming from a mile down the road and sometimes they just sneak right up on you and bite you in the keister.
Way too early in the piece sidenote: That’s right, I just said keister — old folks rule and are also the reason you exist, so don’t forget it, son!
Mistakes concerning cars are bound to happen to anyone in this hobby, and unfortunately they can be, at times, very expensive and difficult to reverse. There have been two cars in the ~133 vehicles I’ve bought that caused me to feel immediate regret after purchase. These are the stories of those cars; hopefully I can impart some caution and some purchasing knowledge so that you may escape a similar fate.
One day, in 1997, in Utica NY…
I started my car hobby with the dual goals of A) feeding my intense love for cars and also B) up-cycling and repurposing. I deeply loathe waste, trash and pollution, and there is an ungodly amount of waste within the world of used cars. Sadly, our hobby relies on rampant consumerism in order for the wheels to turn, and consumerism has a few nasty side effects.
I took a shop class in high school where you had to rebuild a shop engine (Slant 6) and have it fire in order to pass. If it didn’t, you had to tear it all apart and figure out why not! I was able to convince the shop teacher to let me rebuild my own engine out of my just-purchased first car: a silver V6 ’84 Cougar.
In pure future-Autopian fashion, this was a $400 ‘84 Cougar that I bought with an entire summer’s worth of paychecks from selling musical instruments at Big Apple Music in Utica, NY and lifeguarding at a local apartment complex pool.
Another sidebar because sidebars are fun: That Cougar had spent 13 winters in Central NY salt, so you could pass a ham sandwich through the rust holes at the bottom of the door from the out of the car to the occupants.
Regardless, once you learn how to build an engine at age 17, you can do most of the tasks needed to keep an old junker running. Yeah, I didn’t do glass, bodywork, welding, deep electrical, transmissions or paint, but those are (and still are) in The Future File. So opening the paper to the Classifieds back then yielded nothing but opportunity to this newly-minted wrench.
There was an entire sea of cheap broken cars available with owners that were fed up and looking to get rid of them quickly! Some were even ready to take the hurtful financial loss of taking a car to the scrapyard if a buyer didn’t materialize in the near-term. This quickly made me realize that there was an ocean of cars to save!
Not only would doing so be better for the planet, but these cars would also be wicked fun to own, and selling them would maybe even pay for beers and books through college. This was the genesis of Gossin Motors Backyard Auto Rescue (which is not a real business, but just a name one dude has given to his work in this arena for the past 27 years).
Dying Felines and Lumber Products
Starting out, I’ll admit that I was a bit green. I’d landline-call sellers from the local papers from my college dorm room at UNCW and check out any car within a ~20 mile radius in my newly rebuilt ‘84 Cougar with a pocket full of 20s from my pizza delivery job that I’d do each day after class.
One of those early cars was a Midnight Regatta Blue ‘85 V8 Cougar in Delco, NC (right outside of Wilmington and right down the road from where I would buy this, 24yrs later). I had a thing for the big Mercury cats back then and was all about having the 130hp 5.0 V8, since I had the 120hp 3.8 “Essex” V6. 10 more hp, homie!
This thing was puuurfect (ha) and only $500. Now granted, that was a lot of money for a college kid in ‘99, but this was worth it. The thing about owning the lesser version of a car (like I did) is that you constantly pine for the greater/better version of it.
Up until the EcoBoost Mustang actually brought something to the table, the lesser-engined/V6 versions of most cars always had owners lusting after the V8 version that they really wanted. I’m sure there are a few base-model Autopian heroes out there, but for a certain sect of cars (Mustang, Camaro, Cougar, T-Bird, Firebird, etc), the base trim is not the move.
Anyway! I drove out to see the car early on a beautiful Saturday morning in my V6 Cougar, which was a mistake, as the seller could see that I was already driving one of these cars. He knew right then that he had the sale in the bag.
Additional sidebar, because why not: Speaking of getting up early on weekends, I miss not feeling hangovers like I do now. The days of chugging a 1/5th bottle of vodka or as many beers and waking up like nothing happened was glorious in your early 20s.
“Go ahead, fire it up. It’s the 5-0 V8, you know, right? Same as the Mustang,” says a man that I would come to realize did not have my best interests in mind. I took his direction and did my best to hide how excited I was to hear that churning, deep baritone rumble on this gorgeous blue Fox body. The guy could probably see it though, as I surely had visible stars in my eyes over this fantastic feline.
“I’ll take it! $500, right?” says an overly pumped up, wicked jazzed college-aged me. The guy agreed, we exchanged the money, keys and title (it was already notarized) and I was on my way down the driveway and into my new beginning with my new, blue, V8 Cougar! I was so pumped to drive my new car home that I figured I’d leave my silver V6 Cougar street parked in Delco NC until I could bribe a college pal with beer to take me to get it.
That feeling of elation lasted the entire driveway! This was because as soon as I got to the end of it (it was about 50 yards long), that hero 5.0 V8 threw a rod. The car lasted me for about 1 minute and 40 yards.
Stunned and confused (hey I was just a green teenager back then), I walked back up to the guys door and rang the bell. He came to the door in a drastically different mood this time and assured me in no uncertain terms that
- this scenario was my problem alone
- that I was trespassing on his property and
- that he was armed
Real nice guy.
I called a $75 tow (which was pretty much all the money I had left to my name) and had the car brought to a garage in Wilmington. They informed me the next day that it had indeed thrown a rod and that the oil pan was full of sawdust. I called one of the local yards and had the car picked up and junked that week for $50. “Does that 5.0 run?” was the first question the junkyard asked me when pricing it.
Just thinking of the number of pizzas I had to deliver in the succeeding weeks to get that $525 back that I lost still burns me, deeply, to this day. Time heals all wounds though.
Or does it? 24 years and 132 cars later:
Each of us has a daily car search. It’s just part of daily Autopian life. Even if you don’t get the time to search every day, you still are probably letting Mark Tucker do the searching for you and are enjoying the daily Shitbox Showdown. We all raise an eyebrow and shout out to a greatly disinterested partner “Honey, you gotta see this!” when a unique and different car shows up in an unexpected search results list.
For me it was seeing this 2011 Turbo Juke with a stick and only 84K miles, rotting in a backyard about a mile away for $2K. Answer me seriously on three questions:
1) Have you been drinking after a long day at work whilst reading this? If so, then bravo, that’s exactly the party vibe I’d hope to share while penning this.
2) When was the last time you saw a 12yr old turbo stick Juke for $2K with that mileage?
3) Doesn’t “Juke” sound strangely like it’s a slur? I feel gross saying it. Maybe that’s just me.
Anyhow, the seller ended up being a rad local dude who was an old friend of the best drummer in The Cape Fear, Matt Barbour (who happens to be one of my oldest a dearest friends and also my band-mate; we play together in a fun local bar band), so it was an unexpected friend-of-a-friend situation. This greatly added trust to the buying scenario/dynamic.
He explained that the Juke threw a code for the VVT and that it was his teenage son’s car. They parked it after the VVT issue caused the Check Engine Light to start glowing brighter than the look on the bartenders’ face after a Catholic, a Jew, a Muslim and a Juke walked into his bar (see what I mean?!).
The seller was a super chill dude and seemed to just want this thing out of his backyard. There was a tone of pure honesty and no avarice or nefarious feel to it like there was with the Midnight Regatta Blue ‘85 V8 Cougar over two decades prior. His son had already moved on to another vehicle and he had a vibe where he seemed to just want to get on with his life, post-Juke.
Sitting perpendicular to the Juke in his backyard was a sweet-ass green ‘02 Chevy Tracker under a tarp, which of course I had to ask about. “What the heck is up with that?!” says I, trying to hide the undertone of my Upstate NY accent (as I’ve been trying to do since moving to The South roughly when this song came out) immediately upon seeing it.
“Oh that? I’ll sell it to ya for five if you want ‘em both!” said the seller. I immediately asked if he meant $5,000 by his usage of the word “five”. “Ha! No, $500. It’s got a couple issues.”
“Sounds good to me, sold!” –S. GossMcDuff, without even looking at it any closer (I ain’t no car culture fool),
“But wait, there’s more…”
The Tracker was just an awesome side show, but saving that was going to be for another day; this Saturday mornings’ sights were set squarely upon that Juke. Also, did you ever hear about the time The Pope, a bear and a Juke were sleeping in the woods? I haven’t either.
I scanned the Juke with my mid-level Autel device and found that the seller was correct with the VVT code the prior shop had told him about. The Nissan started and idled nicely, the A/C blew cold, it reached operating temperature without a cooling system issue, the clutch engaged/disengaged nicely and it went forward and backwards easily in that backyard on that Sat morning.
It checked every box on the Gossin Motors Backyard Shitbox auto Rescue list. That means that the Juke-red siren-looking light in my brain started spinning and flashing that this car (with many, many more miles to go on it) may end up in a junkyard very soon if I didn’t make a move on it here. I loathe seeing that happen with every fiber in my eco-minded being. And let me tell you, when they are needed, I gots me some moves, son!
I placed $1800 into the seller’s hand; $500 for the Tracker and $1300 for the Nissan. After a firm, friendly eye-to-eye handshake and an addendum to the deal to leave the Tracker where it sat “for a hot minute” the purchase was made! Also, the seller said that I could keep his plates on it to get it home, which was huge, since it saved me from getting a $90 tow back to my Eveil (sic) Wrenching Lair (under that volcano in Wilmington, NC). I was wicked pumped about my good fortune and took the below video on the spot.
I returned the following night to pick it up with my 65yr old mother, whom I’d taken out for dinner earlier that evening. She’d agree to drive my ass over there and follow me home since it was only about 2 miles away and because she’s my mom and she rules. She was in my step-dad’s ‘23 C-Class and was thoroughly freaked out and confused why I was doing what I was doing in some random backyard, in the dark, after a nice dinner on a Saturday night.
“Habibbi (we’re Syrian), you went to college, why are you doing this with your free time?! You need to meet a nice girl and I need grandkids.” –My mom, from a brand-new C-Class, in the hood, in the dark
“He’s Going The Distance…”
I placed my Li-Ion jump pack on the Juke and it buzzed to life with my step-dad’s headlights illuminating the jump points on that dark, December night. I figured this would be a non-eventful two mile trip, since I’d already verified the car ran fine and the plates were good. Never assume anything in this life.
I pulled the Juke out of the backyard with my mom following me in the C-Class; there was limited traffic since it was about 8-9pm on a sat evening and rush hour was long over. The clutch felt great and I loved hearing and feeling the turbo kick in as the revs climbed for the first few shifts as we pulled away on the first few city blocks. The engine in that era of Juke was a 1.6-liter four-cylinder direct injection turbo that brought 188 horsepower and 177 pound-feet of torque to the table. Not bad at all for a tiny 1.6L!
After the 4th city block, the route home hit a main artery through the Port City that I call home and I had a chance to see what a turbo Juke was all about. I’ve never driven Carlos Goshn’s Best before (and sure this was his best, right?) but I will say that the pronunciation of “Ghosn” is strangely not at all phonetically similar to “Gossin”.
As the light turned green onto the thru-artery, I put the pedal down, thinking to myself: “I cannot wait to tell Peter Vieira, The Bishop and Mark Tucker about this when I get back to the team Slack channel!”
Well the story turned out to be a different one than originally planned as the timing chain tensioner(s) decided to walk off the job right around the time the tachometer hit about 4K revolutions/min. The absolute worst metal-on-metal sounds started filling the cabin; worse than a high school metal band rivalry. Black smoke started pouring out the tailpipe and also started curling around the hood.
Backfires were a constant occurrence which could also be seen erupting out of the intake/throttle-body from the driver’s seat from the underhood gap (see below picture). Pieces of engine front cover and timing components were heard falling over the subframe and control arms and onto Burnett St (by Greenfield Lake if you want to Google it), both oil and antifreeze started pouring out of the bottom of the engine.
(phone ringing in that moment of absolute horror and panic; I pick up) “Stevie, honey, I think something might be wrong with your car” says my mom from the C-Class, with a first-class seat while watching this horror show unfold. Thanks Ma!
Luckily enough for me, this happened about 1 minute from my Eveil (sic) Wrenching Lair, so I did what had to be done and limped it to my driveway before shutting the engine off immediately. I knew it was an interference engine and that the valves and head were definitely gone and the pistons probably were too. No need in crying over a spilled $1300 Nissan, but definitely not the best turn of events.
It turns out, those turbo 1.6L engines from Nissan have a “Voluntary Recall” issued for the timing components as you can see here. Sadly they gave a me big Bill Lumbergh-style “Yeeeeaaahh, that’s for cars with the factory warranty” when I called Nissan to ask about it.
I said goodnight to my mom, (who, for the record, said she was impressed at how calm I was while the car was backfiring flames from under the hood and pouring fluids out the bottom of a cracked engine with a trail of smoke from behind at 45mph) and went inside my place for a still Stanley Tucci Negroni to drown my sorrows and bad fortune. It sucks having $1300 just literally go up in smoke after only 3 city blocks.
But, There’s A Butt For Every Seat
I was so, so pissed at Carlos Ghosn for his dumbassery with this car that I could hardly sleep that night. Yes, the man being a buffoon-in-an-upright-bass-case made it easier to quell my anger but still what the H, man?!
This car only had 84K miles on it and was barely over a decade old before shredding its engine? My other supposedly “crap” cars like my LeBaron, Stratus, NewYorker (and even my Jaguars!) are still running regardless of being far older and having far more miles upon them than this insult to the legacy of Datsun.
I posted it that next morning for the $1300 I had into it, with a 110% honest ad description stating that the engine was scrap, but that it was a turbo and a stick with a decent body for a possible project. Wouldn’t you know that The Car Gods shined down upon me with an interested buyer that same day! I had only owned the car for 19-ish hours at this point!
Side Note: I think DT may have called in a favor for me since he’s pretty tight with the Car Gods after having started this site and winning their good graces.
The buyer told me that he was in Real Estate and owned multiple rental homes on the NC Coast and that his handyman was in need of a fuel efficient cheap car after his 90s Blazer blew its transmission the prior week. He said he was impressed with the only-84K miles on the car and that the stick and turbo were pretty cool, even if it looked like a drunk frog.
He said he had already sourced a $400 junkyard engine and that it was a solid deal for $1700 (all in; with the engine cost) and a weekend of wrenching. The guy seemed to be a knowledgeable wrench; we know how to spot our own. Actually, to be honest, this guy seemed like he had greater Jedi powers than I. I’m no padawan, but this guy seemed to be Jedi Mace Windu. Purple lightsaber and all.
The money, title and keys were exchanged and I had successfully owned the car for less than 1 day. Talk about dodging a bullet. I felt like “The Teflon Goss” after that – it didn’t stick. Here’s my final view of it.
“Victim of my mistakes, I burn burn burn burn…” -Our Lady Peace, “Burn, Burn”
…thankfully the above sentiment didn’t happen too badly to me on either of these experiences, even though that Midnight Regatta Blue really stung my teenage finances.
Late Sidenote: The above is just such a great song and is also what I’m listening to as I write this, so I wanted to share it.
I think I learned far more than it cost me monetarily though. That’s the real lesson here: any hobbyist car-culture aficionado will inevitably own a few cars during their life and a few of them will not work out very well at all. You can’t make a 130+ car omelet and not crack a few radiators. Bad things with cars happen and they will happen to you.
These are machines that are ultimately bound for the ground in one way or another, so preparing and bracing yourself for it will only assist your abilities when faced with these types of occurrences. Calamities such as these, if they or their ilk should happen to you, will strengthen you and increase your knowledge so that there are at least 20+ years in between occurrences (like the above two examples).
Looking back at both of the above “burns,” I can honestly say they both make me smile at this stage of life and are 2 of my favorite car stories out of all of those that I have. It’s funny how the worst-case scenarios can segue into some of the funniest and greatest life-even stories due to either shock value, lessons learned or from keeping your cool under pressure.
I bought more Cougars after that day in Delco in ‘98 and strangely enough, I bought another Nissan 2 weeks ago. The Juke turned out to be a great example of on-the-spot repurposing and upcycling to the absolute best buyer at the best-possible timing. I didn’t do anything to it, but in the end, it wasn’t junked.
Also, I’m glad that jerk burned me on that blue Cougar in ‘98, because he made me into the more-knowledgeable car buying Autopian that I am today and stories like these are what brings me here to this website to share with you.
I’m glad that I can, as this has been a lifelong dream of mine. A dream of storytelling about a journey filled with both glorious hillcrests and non-glorious potholes. The nasty, big potholes that don’t bend your wheels are absorbed by your springs and those springs will hold that energy (as springs do) and just make you stronger.
A heartfelt thank you for letting me live that dream, here with each of you.
All photos by Stephen Walter Gossin unless otherwise noted.
This has been addressed a little bit in some of the comments already, but I would love to see a piece someday on the (general) parameters of Gossin System for car valuation.
From what we’ve seen here, it appears to work pretty damn well overall – it provides for nicely assessing basic condition, projecting fixability, and factoring in the time boundaries involved in both successfully completing the sale and then the actual rescue.
As in, the Juke seems a outlier for sure!
This is a great idea and thanks Jack!
There certainly are quite a few variables involved, but the most important thing I’ve learning over the years is never to buy a car that you really like unless you have the capacity to properly fix and keep it.
Just because something is cool and cheap and available nearby doesn’t necessarily mean that you have the parking, funds or time for it. Keep emotion out of the rescue business the best you can.
I’ll see if I can get the idea past DT – thanks as always for reading and for being here in the comments, my man!
As an episode of MacGyver put it, “you’re emotional about the bomb, sure. But the bomb is not emotional about you.”
It’s the efficiency of the method that’s really intriguing.
Most of us here will spend hours obsessing over the smallest detail before we buy (indeed, it’s part of the overall utility we derive from the purchase), but you operate in a different place – your dollar values are often way lower BUT the process is repeated multiple times.
You’re sorta at the mean point between pure hobbyist enthusiasm and cold dealer profit-seeking!
Honestly there are some rescues that there’s no profit at all or even where there’s a loss (especially when placing a monetary value on my time). The joy of fixing something, of rescuing something, of doing something good for the planet and of reducing waste makes it totally worth it.
I like building things, fixing things and doing something that (in whatever way I can) makes a noticeable difference to someone. Whether that someone is the buyer, the person I sell to or even if it’s the readers/comment section in Autopia, it’s worth it.
A hearty appreciation and thanks your way for noticing, Jack!
Great read Stephen, but how often have you applied the concept of a test drive? That would have saved you on two occasion at least!
For the Juke, with the engine running at temperature, the computer/ Check Engine code scanned and the clutch/manual transmission engaging each gear, a test drive was not done for a couple reasons:
1) the seller was ready to get on with his day/life and had already knocked $700 off the asking price
2) A test drive would’ve uncovered any issues with the rolling stock/steering/suspension/body squeaks/etc, but those would all be fixable, easily addressable and on a $1300 car, not something you sweat too much in that sales moment.
For the Cougar, I was just a young dumb kid with stars in his eyes.
Most of the other 130+ cars were test driven if the situation allowed. Hey, thanks for reading and for being with us here in the comments!
RE: Plates/title/transporting issues
In NC, you can transport a newly acquired vehicle without plates to your home/DMV/etc. IF you have the title or bill-of-sale with you. Yes, you run the risk of getting pulled over, but it is not illegal in NC. This may save you some hassle for your future purchases.
BTW, great read! Has David approved the Jag story yet? Inquiring minds need to know. (I made the original comment that I’d love to read about your Jag and Mercedes awarded it COTD a while back!)
Thanks Michael! Do you have any references to the above NC DMV info? I was long told the exact opposite from others that are rescue-adjacent. I searched myself but couldn’t find anything that I’d trust.
Man that Jag is going to be the death of me. Still trying to get DT to warm to the idea of writing about it – he’s not much of a “Jag Person” from what I’ve gathered (which is okay – not everyone is; some for very good reasons).
Thanks again for reading and for the kind words!
https://www.drivinggeeks.com/drive-car-without-plates/
This site seemed to have the best summary for each state. It seems that most of the “internet” experts advise that you should NOT put one of your plates on a newly purchased vehicle, nor should you borrow/use the plates from the previous owner. I don’t have time to wade thru the NCAC and find the statute.
Hope this helps!
This was a fun article! I personally love sidebars so keep them coming.
Sidebar: S. GossMcDuff thinks “Shifty McShifterson” is a killer profile name.
Another great, entertaining read!
Hard lesson to learn on that 5.0, I’m feeling the sting here almost 25 years later on the other side of the planet!
I *knocks on wood* have been fortunate to not have had that experience, though I have had plenty of drama with engine rebuilds going sideways.
Always look forward to your articles, here’s to more great stuff in 2024!
the sub 24 hrs ownership thread will have some gems;
1984 olds delta 88 royale, $200, lasted slighty more than a buck a mile, blown up engine north of glens falls attempting home to nj from vt. who’s next?
Yeah, it’s often the biggest hits you take, that end up being the best stories. I definitely enjoyed reading these ones!
I honestly enjoy reading the travails of you kids dealing with junk from the last 20 years or so. I learned the same lessons on stuff from the 40’s – 50’s. Sadly this was so long ago, I’ve forgotten most of them until I see some parallel between your new junk and my old stuff.
Remind me to tell you the story of driving from Chicago to San Diego in a ’62 TR3B with the top down for the entire journey.
Or the ’56 Chrysler New Yorker that cost me over $6K and sold at a loss of $5.5K! Hated to see that beautiful Hemi go away.
I’m still trying to figure out why YOU didn’t source that $400 engine and replace it?
I had my eyes and efforts towards the bottom with the upcoming Tracker project rest of my fleet.
I already am in the middle on an engine job on my Nitro and cutting the roof off my Park Avenue, so placing an additional big engine job on top of that heap didn’t sound palatable.
Plus I owe DT an increase in writing output with Jason being out on the mend for a while!
After the bad omen right off the bat with the Juke, I also had soured on it, greatly.
It sounds like a fun challenge, but honestly I’m just currently overloaded and didn’t have the time.
Glad the buyer does though. That dude is a hero here in this story for sure!
Good call: when you’re done, let it go rather than bitterly wrench
PSS your forgiven for getting a Juke
Even though I am decidedly not a Nissan fan… eh, it was a manual with a turbo. The original intention was just fine.
The Juke is one of the few Crossovers I actually think is pretty neat. They’re surprisingly fun and have a quirky charm to them. I’ve gotten to ride in a few and liked it more than I expected to.
I’m with you on the “quirky charm” aspect. It’s the catastrophic timing implosion before 100K miles aspect that can really sour you on the car.
I think if Nissans of that era (2010s) were as reliable as the old Nissan Hardbody trucks, they’d really have something special that stand out in the marketplace, per the funky design elements. Sadly this is not the case.
PS, you know that your a spoiled kid when you’ve had one too many and that cat head at the end of the hood keeps trying to leap into the ditch looking for the woods
You had an 84 Cougar, omg, I will love you forever! One of the cars I lusted after. I was bummed, after having a 77, 78, and 79 Cougars, when they removed the cat hood ornament on the 84’s. The 83 had one. I bought a brand new 84 Z28 HO with my lawn and combine driving harvest savings and Grandpas graduation gift money. I wanted a Cougar but Grandpa was a misinformed GM fan, may God rest his soul. I could only get a GM product if he were to pay the majority of my new car purchase. I did have that Z28 until 2003. It was literally a rust/dust bunny at that point…..
SWG seemed liked a awesome guy before but his awesomeness just reached new heights now that I know he is an OLP fan!!!
The old people in my family didn’t say “keister”, they said “kooloo” or “dupa”.
dupa is Polish, right?
With a last name of Kluczynski, I can positively answer this with a “YES”.
I Started a Juke
(Sorry BeeGees)
I started a Juke
Which started the damn thing dying
But I didn’t see
That the Juke was debris, oh no
I started to drive,
Which started the engine slapping
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the Juke was debris
I cursed at the skies
As things went kaboom before my eyes
While the motor, it shit the bed
Hurting its head with parts that it shed
‘The Juke finally died
Right there in my own darn driveway
Oh, if I’d only seen
That the Juke was debris
I thought it’d be smart
If perhaps I could sell the Juke for its parts
So, I took out an ad
Saying this Juke is bad, but the body’s still rad
The Juke finally sold
Which lifted my whole world gladly
Oh, if I’d only seen, oh yeah
That the Juke was debris, oh no
That the Juke was debris
Oh, no, no, no
This is poetry!
Learning and growing from mistakes is almost always rewarding, eventually. It’s great to see that reflected here — with some bonus Stevie G lore included.
God bless us, every one.
I’ll throw in one of my car buying misadventures. I figure I’m roughly Gossins age. Anyone around our age that was a car guy likely had a love for the Honda CRX, especially the second generation. I would’ve been roughly 19 or 20, so this is about 1997. I was driving through my little town and there parked in front of a local small repair shop was a black 1989 Honda CRX. I always lusted after one so I pulled in. Now, at that time, these Rex’s were still pretty plentiful in stock unmolested condition. This one was stock and in ok shape. Not perfect, but hot damn if it wasn’t a true Si. As evidenced by the power moonroof, alloys, and sweet 1.6 b series. After a quick test drive, I found that it ran great and handled sweet. I went into the office and found that the owner of the shop only wanted $800 for the car. He explained it was the amount he was owed for the repairs he did to it, that had went unpaid. OK, deal. I told him it was sold and came back with a small stack of sweet greenbacks. He takes the money, reaches under the desk and grabs a 1″ (maybe it was a foot) thick stack of papers. And slides it to me. I’m like, what gives? He explains that that is all the paperwork I need for a mechanics lein and that all I need to do is bring it to the DMV and they will issue a title in my name. Like a naive, ignorant teen, I take him for his word and leave with the pile of papers. I get to the DMV and the woman fingers through it, says there are multiple missing documents, asks me why I’m bringing it, tells me I’m not getting a title, and that the mechanic should be applying for the title/lein. I bring the paperwork back to him, explain what happened, asked him to please do as instructed, give me my money back and when he has the title I’ll gladly come back and buy it. He says, too bad, you bought it, it’s your problem now, get out. I was a bit surprised that someone could be such a piece of shit, but I was younger then.
The short version of the long story follow up is that that car sat in my back yard for a couple years. I ended up getting another CRX Si, having my fun with it and then selling it to a friend. He ended up sending that one to its grave. He then came and bought my black one and switched the VIN from one to another, but thats another story.
That sucks, what a jerk. My mother’s husband ran a small paint shop a while back and I did the paperwork for him to get title to an abandoned vehicle a few times. At least here it was a lot more complicated than going to the DMV. They did have a form for someone other than the shop owner to represent them at magistrate court but even if you had gotten that I’m pretty sure the title still ends up in the shop or it’s owners name. In my state it’s technically an auction (with the amount owed as a starting price) that you must advertise so theoretically anyone can show up. Sometimes a mechanic will have a friend come to the auction and bid for it at for the owed amount plus costs for filing. Simpler than multiple title transfers.
I’m older and more mature now. Now I know the right thing to do was to go to his house in the middle of the night, board up the doors and set it on fire. But I was a brash, reckless, young kid then, so I simply walked away and chalked it up to a lesson learned.
Yeah – seriously- sometimes life calls for a truly stupid and futile gesture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h4DZeBleLs
That bastard is still there, in the same shop after all these years. Alright Autopians, I’ve got the matches, who’s with me!?
People shit on the azteca, but the Nissan Juke is 100% the ugliest most incoherently designed car ever made, and has 0 redeemable qualities.
I remember hating it passionately, then I watched the video on the Old Site and it could have fused heavier elements with the intensity of my hatred. Search for “Nissan juke – design inspiration” on YouTube and skip to 2:18 for my personal least favorite quote. I will try to link, haven’t learned all the ins and outs of commenting yet:
https://youtu.be/DoLvjj7WJ0M?si=HJP5ZRgDTiH0BoOo
Fun fact: the Android keyboard wanted to correct the link to “hyperdrive poo.” Even the keyboard is taking a Swype at the Juke.
Hahaha, like an athletic guy with a wetsuit on. Exactly what I look for in interior automotive styling! Thank you for sharing this gem.
As evidenced by a sub 90,000 mile vehicle imploding its engine there’s a reason almost none are left on the road, for this reason it has now fallen into the category of the Maryland state flag, where it’s so ugly that it’s cool, at least for me.
I actually liked the Juke’s styling when it first came out. At least they went for something different, if not the most coherent. Too bad it turned out to be a pile of shit with fancy clothes like most Nissans during the Ghosn era.
I actually think it has a decent level of cohesion, especially compared to its messy and cheap-looking Kicks successor for the USDM. At least the DLO was well resolved, the wheel arches extremely confident, and the DRLs, while an acquired taste, brought concept car-esque ideas onto the road which are still being copied today. It was so much more interesting than Honda’s horrid little HR-V or Jeep’s dismal Compass and drove well too, winning this C&D comparo in 2012. I’ll admit the Juke is nowhere near a car I want to own, but I admire its audacity and will defend it as an overhated car. Most modern CUVs wish they had the confidence of the gen1 Juke—it looks adorable and is quite literally an automotive frog.
Why do I feel that Tracker will be showing up in a story soon?
You, sir, are a born storyteller. Great read.
I don’t normally leave comments, but SWG’s articles are just too good not to praise. I would absolutely pay for some cool “Gossin Motors Backyard Auto Rescue” merch.
You just made my Tuesday evening, my dude!
Shoot me a message on the social media platforms listed on my profile with your size and such and I’ll get one out to you on the (volcanic lair) house for parlaying the above kind sentiment. My man!
Well, “Juke” does rhyme with “mook”, which is something of an insult…..
I read the headline, then the first line, and I had to comment and say this before I read the rest:
Nissan’s whole business model is to rely on every human on the planet to make at least one mistake in their life, and that mistake is buying a Nissan.
There are now 8 billion people on this planet. Honestly, it’s not a BAAAAD business model, as supported by a whole store in the Tanger Outlets dedicated to “As Seen on TV” goods. Now back to finish your article, as they are always great. 🙂
Yup, that was great. I have so many comments, I can’t begin. We have a lot in common, which makes reading your articles that much better.
I bought a brand-new Nissan, but it got clipped and totalled at 107k….just as the valvetrain started chattering. Dodged a bullet?
I miss driving my Sentra SE-R Spec-V, but I don’t miss my SE-R Spec-V. Driving down the interstate, not even hitting so much as a change in the asphalt, and Pao! The overhead driver/passenger light & storage (for sunglasses) fell into my line of sight and hung there by the wire. Every year I have a more real/less jokey suspicion that 10 years & 170k miles sitting on that lightly-disguised particle-board-as-a-seat damaged my hips.
This isn’t actually Nissan’s fault, but when I bought it, it had a shitty, broken aftermarket head unit. There was a CD stuck in it and the various channels would cut in and out as I went over bumps. Turns out all the connections were made with residential wire nuts. Bonus though: one day, more than usual of the front panel buttons worked and I got it to eject the CD. It was a CD-R with
“My flows
So tight”
written on it.
That thing broke in tons of useful ways that taught me loads about cars, though.
“”As Seen on TV” goods”
Hey, those people are problem solvers – now I can bitter my toast without it shooting across the kitchen as a dangerous projectile, cook eggs in a pan without them falling into the gas jet, and also answer the phone without my arms being tied up under a cumbersome blanket. Real, relatable problems we all deal with everyday, solvable for $19.99 plus s&h
I miss my 93 Maxima that I bought new. That car WAS NOT a mistake. This was before Nissan went to crap.
I haven’t rescued a Gossin-quantity of semi-dead cars, but in my 30+ years of messing about I have learned this hard lesson: It’s ALWAYS more broken than you think it is. Always. My recent Fiat 500 Abarth rescue illustrates this concept. I knew about the zero compression in cylinder #3 (burned valve), but the shredded inner CV boots and transmission oil leak were surprises. The car is running great now with its reconditioned cylinder head, and it will be nice when it’s done, but it might not be a money maker.
Great article. Well written, the trip down memory lane was fun, your mom is a hoot, and I’m not sure if the shot at the ex was intentional or not, but it was funny – “said goodbye to my first car with my college girlfriend. I’m not sure what she’s up to these days, but I miss that car every day.” He only misses the car =)
My only confusion, and maybe it’s because people are far better at wrenching than I am, do other people NOT check sites like carcomplaints.com before they purchase something? Am I the only crazy person? Besides Nissan being known for making awful (reliability-wise) vehicles and the Juke being so ugly it’s almost adorable, this is not at all an uncommon failure for that year and model. In fact, it’s the Number 1 failure for that year. https://m.carcomplaints.com/Nissan/Juke/2011/
Having said that, I fully understand buying something and not caring if you know how to fix it, but I’d think avoiding a likely failure is still much easier.
But, it DOES make for a great article, haha. Really enjoyed the piece!
Thank you for the kind words!
Whenever you’re working with something that runs and is under $1,500, time is of the essence.
Especially also when the seller is completely over it and ready to do something drastic to get rid of it.
If I took a little bit more time and started doing internet research the car wouldn’t have been there by the time I returned.
In this price range you just have to pull the trigger, shoot from the hip and hope for the best with the skill set you have.
You reading the piece and providing a thoughtful analysis here with us in the comments is greatly appreciated, my dude!
Yeah, I’m in NY too, but about as far south as it gets, so we neither have space for extra vehicles nor do we have much in the area at that price range sadly. Even at higher price ranges though, if you know what you’re looking for and see it on CL or wherever, it’ll be gone quickly so I can appreciate having to shoot first and ask questions later. I’m just too scared to pull the trigger on anything Nissan though, especially with some of their recent engine news.
I’m not sure if I’ve read your writing on here before or not, but it was really well done and I look forward to more submissions (and mom’s commentary). Thanks for the awesome article and the bonus response!
There are few similar, fun, crapcan adventures above under “Related…”; each penned by Yours Truly.
We’re only here if the readers click the pieces, so the real thanks here goes to you, my friend.
Oh sweet, I live for crapcan adventures.(I followed DT here). I’ll check those out!
Another fine tale. but yeah, maybe it’s been your experience that these type of vehicles sell fast. not mine, they never are cheap enough unless 1) someone knows how to fix it (not many) 2) fan boy who doesn’t know better ( not that likely in this case). to search on a forum for known complaints takes 10, 15 minutes? and punching it? after 130 units I would hope I would’ve been more prudent. not that I am, but that would be my hope. and I too am interested as too why you didn’t do the repairs? turbo replacement motors are $$$ I’m gonna guess. but I also understand that if you got out for zero. That’s not the worst by far.
The seller was selling the car for $2,000 and came down to 1,300 in negotiations, so for me to do what your prescribing above, I would have had to pause the negotiations and the sale, asked the seller first more of his time and then would have to start furiously doing internet research in that moment, which was completely unrealistic.
“Hey can you just stand here and wait for 15 or 20 minutes while I hit Google?”
It would have been rude, bad business form and I would have lost the sale.
I did not punch it. I only tacked it up to 4,000 RPM in 2nd gear to get a feel for what type of power the engine was making mid-band.
It wasn’t a lack of prudence, it was just an unfortunate event, as I mistakenly believed the VVT issue was on the electrical side and not mechanical.
I had my eyes and efforts towards the horizon with the upcoming Tracker project and with the rest of my fleet.
I already am in the middle on an engine job on my Nitro and cutting the roof off my Park Avenue, so placing an additional big engine job on top of that heap of work didn’t sound palatable.
Plus I owe DT an increase in writing output with Jason being out on the mend for a while!
After the bad omen right off the bat with the Juke, I also had soured on it, greatly.
It sounds like a fun challenge, but honestly I’m just currently overloaded and didn’t have the time.
Thanks for reading and for the comment!