Okay, this is another one of those full disclosure, inside information-type of Cold Starts that in some ways feels more something that starts like a poorly-considered journal entry and then gets clumsily hammered into some sort of car-related content. Earlier tonight – or I guess last night as it’s almost 3 am – I was at Toyota’s EV Highlander reveal event, which, to be honest, kind of puzzled me because I’d already seen the car and published a story and video about it right when the event started, because that’s when the embargo was up.
So, I guess they must have livestreamed the reveal? And that’s why it was a “reveal?” Because it wasn’t a reveal to most of the people in that room, so there must have been someone this was a reveal for. Whatever, it’s fine, and they had Woodford Reserve at the bar, which I do not turn down.
All of this is to say that when I came back to my room, I made the rookie mistake of thinking oh, I can lie down for a moment and not fall asleep and do Cold Start before the morning! Easy! Of course, that’s not what happened. When I woke up, it was already well into the next day, and thanks to the fact that I’m on West Coast time, I couldn’t just wait for the morning to do Cold Start. So here we are.
I also thought I knew what I wanted to write about for Cold Start, because I saw a YouTube ad for that new Sony-Honda joint venture car, Afeela. There was one element in it I thought would be worthy of scrutinizing, a way that both Sony and Honda portrayed themselves via objects, but once the ad was gone I could not find it, anywhere. How the hell does one find an ad they were shown on YouTube before it escapes into the aether? I guess maybe this is retribution for all the times I’ve clicked ‘skip’ without watching anything. Well played, ads.
Anyway, while I was searching for the ad I actually wanted, I came across this ad:
What the hell is going on in this ad? Am I supposed to understand why the dude is crying? He’s just sitting there in his (presumably) Level 2 assisted-driving car, softly sobbing? And then the car asks if he wants to drive because “the road is clearing up ahead?” Why would it do that? You would think an automated driving system would keep driving until, you know, you asked it to stop, right? Why is the road being clear a reason to ask if you want to drive?
I mean, sure that section of road looks fun, buy couldn’t Weepy there have just taken over if he felt like it? Was he crying because taking over meant having to use that stupid yoke instead of a steering wheel? Didn’t we bury yokes like almost four years ago? Who was wanting this to come back?
Anyway, I was frustrated by not being able to find the ad I was looking for and then this crying fella just made it all worse. So, to get past that and pad this out a little more, I found a brochure for a 1956 Bedford truck chassis-cab that I thought would be fun to see what it would be like if Bedford decided to get into the family car business without having to design and develop a new platform, and just use this existing truck chassis and cab:
I’ve drawn things like this before, and, you know what? I’ll probably do it again. Because it makes me happy. This would have been the equivalent of an SUV in the ’50s: a truck-based family car with capabilities that will like go entirely unused.
This would be quite a roomy vehicle to be in, especially on the vertical axis, which is sort of unusual for passenger cars. You’d have great legroom in the rear, and even with the stubby tail, a good amount of cargo room, accessible via a combination upward-opening hatch and fold-down tailgate.
I bet it would handle like crap, though, and have a pretty bumpy ride. Still, it’d probably be great for towing!
Okay, good, I’ve just about forgotten about the crying dude and the ad I can’t find. I’m going to sleep.
I feel like if you brake too hard, the back wheels will lift off the ground.
That front overhang is forever waiting for a counter load it will never have
The AACA Museum, in Hershey, PA, has a White Truck based car. This reminds me of that. Great museum BTW.
Torch’s design belongs in Terry Gilliam’s ‘Brazil’.
[in the middle of nowhere without a single car in view]
“Looks like the road is clearing up ahead.”
he’s deep in his Afeelings
I feel like your truck mod could have had room for a third row of seats and some cargo area.
Congratulations for creating the Bedford F-650!
Also, I fail to see any features in that yoke-piloted glass case of emotion that would make someone want to cop Afeela.
I feel ya, in your quest for Afeela
The Afeela jokes write themselves. Afeela sad. Afeela dead inside. Afeela so very lonely. Etc etc. And that wistful voice trying to cheer him up? Who writes a sad car ad?
Dude! Join a bowling league! Volunteer at a food bank! A knitting club! You need human contact! Turn off the voice in the car! She’s not good for you!
You just sound like Luigi describing how he Afeelas living in Mario’s shadow.
My coworker was upset and I tried to console her to cope Afeela. All I get in return is a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Looks like you left plenty of space out back for a “Grand” version to have a little overhang and add cargo space (or a “third row in name only”). We need to get my bro to create a full set of additional vehicles from this platform.
Oh! toss on a transfer case and a front drive axle and I am all in.
This is absolutely a stream-of-consciousness journal entry that was crammed together with the last section of an (upcoming?) article on passenger conversions for trucks. It’s the perfect complement to the five-thousand-word treatises on planes, trains, and shitbox-mobiles elsewhere on the site.
Speaking of five-thousand-word treatises, we need more Mack Hardigraw!
May I say that the physiognomy and the facial expression of the truck and that dude are not THAT far off?
This thing would be amazing for doing ‘stoppies’ given the 85/15 weight distribution.
85/15….the holy grail of performance