Okay, this is another one of those full disclosure, inside information-type of Cold Starts that in some ways feels more something that starts like a poorly-considered journal entry and then gets clumsily hammered into some sort of car-related content. Earlier tonight – or I guess last night as it’s almost 3 am – I was at Toyota’s EV Highlander reveal event, which, to be honest, kind of puzzled me because I’d already seen the car and published a story and video about it right when the event started, because that’s when the embargo was up.
So, I guess they must have livestreamed the reveal? And that’s why it was a “reveal?” Because it wasn’t a reveal to most of the people in that room, so there must have been someone this was a reveal for. Whatever, it’s fine, and they had Woodford Reserve at the bar, which I do not turn down.
All of this is to say that when I came back to my room, I made the rookie mistake of thinking oh, I can lie down for a moment and not fall asleep and do Cold Start before the morning! Easy! Of course, that’s not what happened. When I woke up, it was already well into the next day, and thanks to the fact that I’m on West Coast time, I couldn’t just wait for the morning to do Cold Start. So here we are.
I also thought I knew what I wanted to write about for Cold Start, because I saw a YouTube ad for that new Sony-Honda joint venture car, Afeela. There was one element in it I thought would be worthy of scrutinizing, a way that both Sony and Honda portrayed themselves via objects, but once the ad was gone I could not find it, anywhere. How the hell does one find an ad they were shown on YouTube before it escapes into the aether? I guess maybe this is retribution for all the times I’ve clicked ‘skip’ without watching anything. Well played, ads.
Anyway, while I was searching for the ad I actually wanted, I came across this ad:
What the hell is going on in this ad? Am I supposed to understand why the dude is crying? He’s just sitting there in his (presumably) Level 2 assisted-driving car, softly sobbing? And then the car asks if he wants to drive because “the road is clearing up ahead?” Why would it do that? You would think an automated driving system would keep driving until, you know, you asked it to stop, right? Why is the road being clear a reason to ask if you want to drive?
I mean, sure that section of road looks fun, buy couldn’t Weepy there have just taken over if he felt like it? Was he crying because taking over meant having to use that stupid yoke instead of a steering wheel? Didn’t we bury yokes like almost four years ago? Who was wanting this to come back?
Anyway, I was frustrated by not being able to find the ad I was looking for and then this crying fella just made it all worse. So, to get past that and pad this out a little more, I found a brochure for a 1956 Bedford truck chassis-cab that I thought would be fun to see what it would be like if Bedford decided to get into the family car business without having to design and develop a new platform, and just use this existing truck chassis and cab:
I’ve drawn things like this before, and, you know what? I’ll probably do it again. Because it makes me happy. This would have been the equivalent of an SUV in the ’50s: a truck-based family car with capabilities that will like go entirely unused.
This would be quite a roomy vehicle to be in, especially on the vertical axis, which is sort of unusual for passenger cars. You’d have great legroom in the rear, and even with the stubby tail, a good amount of cargo room, accessible via a combination upward-opening hatch and fold-down tailgate.
I bet it would handle like crap, though, and have a pretty bumpy ride. Still, it’d probably be great for towing!
Okay, good, I’ve just about forgotten about the crying dude and the ad I can’t find. I’m going to sleep.
The modified Bedford truck is weird…ly FREAKIN’ AWESOME!
I think the guy is sitting there crying because he has to use the proprietary Sony charging cable and it doesn’t work anywhere. Also, the yoke sucks.
So I’m thinking Monster Bro Multipla.
See what I mean:
https://carorigins.com/the-unmistakable-oddity-a-factual-evolution-of-the-fiat-multipla/
Or maybe another Torch multi body component build with a multi-hoist aircraft hanger for a storage garage. Which body do I need today? Van, pickup or should I just leave the Sunday family body on?
Crying wuss dude kind of looks like Rafi from that show The League. Except Rafi was a bad ass who would not cry like that or have a yoke wheel.
“How the hell does one find an ad they were shown on YouTube before it escapes into the aether?”
When all else fails for something like this, you can usually retrieve the file from your browser’s cache folder, which is usually inside your user’s folder inside the system files. Unless you’ve got your browser set to delete the cache contents when you log out, which only people mentioned in the Epstein files would do. 😉 In the cache folder, all the images/etc… that your browser loaded/saved recently are all there, though usually with strings of numbers instead of filenames. Just turn on ‘view by large icon’ and most systems will auto generate a stamp, and you can find the right image without having to open them all.
Love the Bedford family truckster btw, though I’m a sucker for anything cabover of course. 🙂
For some reason that profile view reminds me of the MV-1. Although I imagine it would require a pretty long ramp for the wheelchair.
When you say you found a brochure, I know it was probably online, but I like to think of you carrying them around in a satchel.
Torch goes to all these events with his clothes in a carry-on, but has to check 2 bags for the brochures to do cold starts with.
that would be ridiculous! I’m smarter than that; they’re all on microfiche and I have a collapsable viewer that weighs less than two portable typewriters.
Challenge to all viewers of this message;
Blend the following two words into your daily work correspondence:
> Satchel
> Microfiche
Dammit, Dale! Can I use them in Spanish, at least?
Bedford did have some passenger vehicles, as this lovely period brochure will attest:
https://autoshite.com/topic/19153-bedford-brochure-scan/
The 9 passenger SWB Bedford Midi could be driven on a UK car licence.
I mean, those are all commercials (except for Midi and CF2 bus versions), they just happen to be passenger-based.
I can’t choose – either an Astramax or a KBD41.
My old Scout master used to use a Bedford Maxi 9 seater (described as an ‘estate’ rather than a van there) as his family car. I can confirm it was not an ‘extra-luxury’ specification.
While not a car, per se, there’s the SUV/pickup truck from Navistar International in 2004-2008, the International XT, that was sold to the general public despite being based on a ginormous commercial platform: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/51/International_CXT_Commercial_Extreme_Truck_1.jpg/1280px-International_CXT_Commercial_Extreme_Truck_1.jpg
I always kind of wanted one of those, because I like pickups and I used to drive International/Navistar MDT-based armored trucks so I knew the platform well.
I reality, it was way too much truck to put the average truckbro behind the wheel of, and was therefore a Bad Idea since it was desired primarily by people with more money than sense who wanted the ultimate bro-dozer.
Then again, I’m pretty sure the average jacked-up diesel F-250 or
DodgeRam 2500 is more truck than necessary or wise for those types…I remember thinking when these came out “f*ck. all those ppl driving H2s are gonna upgrade to this.” Really glad it didn’t pan out that way.
“How the hell does one find an ad they were shown on YouTube before it escapes into the aether? I guess maybe this is retribution for all the times I’ve clicked ‘skip’ without watching anything. Well played, ads.”
That got a guffaw out of me which made my cats start and pause while they were eating breakfast (but cats being cats they immediately resumed eating.)
Yeah, sometimes I’ll click ‘skip’ out of force of habit and then wish I hadn’t done so since I’ll be watching a YT channel that I want to support; sometimes I’ll rewind just enough that the ads start playing but they’re never the same ads that had started playing when I clicked ‘skip’ so I’ve wondered about that, finding an ad again once it’s escaped into the aether.
Yeah, hopefully somebody will provide answers in the comments though it’s a little funny to think about actually wanting to see…more of ads.
a) is it true creators lose revenue if you skip the ad? I guess I was living in ignorant bliss.
b) I remember I actually was able to find an ad b/c it had been uploaded to youtube. I had to watch an ad before my ad.
When the Volvo TP21 Sugga isn’t Sugga-nuff
I’d be crying too if I paid $100K for a rolling cubicle.
I feel like if you brake too hard, the back wheels will lift off the ground.
The original Jeep FC-150 had that habit.
So did the 1st gen Econoline cab over pickup. They had to add weight to the back bumper to keep the unloaded rear wheels on the ground.
That front overhang is forever waiting for a counter load it will never have
It’s begging for a third row and extended cabin, or at least a pickup bed.
The AACA Museum, in Hershey, PA, has a White Truck based car. This reminds me of that. Great museum BTW.
Torch’s design belongs in Terry Gilliam’s ‘Brazil’.
It looks like the first consumer sedan introduced by Herkimer fresh off the success of their Battle Jitney truck.
This reminds me that Torch already wrote an article about That Huge-Ass Truck From Björk’s Army Of Me for the old site.
[in the middle of nowhere without a single car in view]
“Looks like the road is clearing up ahead.”
he’s deep in his Afeelings
I feel like your truck mod could have had room for a third row of seats and some cargo area.
Congratulations for creating the Bedford F-650!
Also, I fail to see any features in that yoke-piloted glass case of emotion that would make someone want to cop Afeela.
I feel ya, in your quest for Afeela
The Afeela jokes write themselves. Afeela sad. Afeela dead inside. Afeela so very lonely. Etc etc. And that wistful voice trying to cheer him up? Who writes a sad car ad?
Dude! Join a bowling league! Volunteer at a food bank! A knitting club! You need human contact! Turn off the voice in the car! She’s not good for you!
You just sound like Luigi describing how he Afeelas living in Mario’s shadow.
My coworker was upset and I tried to console her to cope Afeela. All I get in return is a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Looks like you left plenty of space out back for a “Grand” version to have a little overhang and add cargo space (or a “third row in name only”). We need to get my bro to create a full set of additional vehicles from this platform.
I vote this – make it a full-on van.
Also… how do you get into the driver’s seat of that cab? Climb the wheel?
Oh! toss on a transfer case and a front drive axle and I am all in.
This is absolutely a stream-of-consciousness journal entry that was crammed together with the last section of an (upcoming?) article on passenger conversions for trucks. It’s the perfect complement to the five-thousand-word treatises on planes, trains, and shitbox-mobiles elsewhere on the site.
Speaking of five-thousand-word treatises, we need more Mack Hardigraw!
May I say that the physiognomy and the facial expression of the truck and that dude are not THAT far off?
This thing would be amazing for doing ‘stoppies’ given the 85/15 weight distribution.
85/15….the holy grail of performance
The opposite of the 1951 Hoffman