Home » I’m Back From Goodwood And Here’s The Car With The Worst Nickname There: Cold Start

I’m Back From Goodwood And Here’s The Car With The Worst Nickname There: Cold Start

Cs Suckyp 1
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I’m back! Last night my airship moored at the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse Dirigible Station, and I was released on zipline down to thunk solidly on the ground once again. It was an amazing trip, and I still need to go through all of the videos and photos and tell you all the goings-on, but we’ll get to that. First, I just want to show you something important: the car there that had what is, arguably, the worst nickname in the whole place.

The vehicle saddled with the unfortunate appellation was this charming British Racing Green Morris Oxford delivery van. I’m not terribly up on my Oxfords, but I think this is a late ’50s one, possibly a Series II. They’re really appealing old-school looking delivery vehicles, adapted from the Morris Oxford saloon, and are full of all kinds of charm and dignity. Maybe that’s why I was a bit thrown to see this as its nickname:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Cs Suckyp 2

Yep, “Sucky P!” I know British English has all kinds of weird slang and other words for everything, kind of like how I can barely process the words on this…cake? Malt loaf? That I saw at a grocery store there:

Cs Maltloaf

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“Deliciously Squidgy Energy?” The hell is that? Is it dangerous?

Anyway, if there’s some other way to take being called “sucky,” that doesn’t involve something, you know, that sucks, I’d love to know about it.

And that lone “P” isn’t really doing anyone any favors, either. It just seems like this old workhorse might deserve a bit better name? Unless, who knows, maybe it’s just what it sounds like and this thing earned that name. By being sucky.

Oh one other quick thing about Goodwood: they absolutely bring it when it comes to making everything fit the up-to-1966 period theme. Utility vehicles are all period cars, the cars that shuttle you from place to place were all of the era, I bet you could catch period-correct venereal diseases if you were dedicated enough, and for things that weren’t period, they did a good job disguising them, like their golf carts:

Cs Goodwood Cart

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…which were re-bodied in this sort of late ’30s, early ’40s style, complete with waterfall faux-grille and faux woody rear bed.

It was all amazing. More on Goodwood to come!

 

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Opa Carriker
Opa Carriker
5 months ago

Squidgy is a noise that comes from faulty door hinges and your Tandy home computer floppy drive.

Opa Carriker
Opa Carriker
5 months ago

I truly hope that Goodwood won’t join the other dozen or so promised stories that have yet to appear. I won’t bother to list them, you know them better than I do!

Rafael
Rafael
5 months ago

Maybe this is the “Lucky D”, but someone suck at calligraphy.

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
5 months ago

This tops my usual “almost but not quite completely unlike” English description of Australian.
Then again I can translate Glasgow even if I can’t speak it.

ChefCJ
ChefCJ
5 months ago

That Morris is indeed a Series II, which puts it at 54-56. The bonnet shape is the giveaway; the series I was a lot taller, the series III being more shapely, the Series II being the ‘bugger it, lets just knock off early” flatter shape.

Gilbert Wham
Gilbert Wham
5 months ago

Malt loaf is delicious toasted with lots of butter, and now I have to go to the shop cos I want some, dammit.

Phuzz
Phuzz
5 months ago
Reply to  Gilbert Wham

Toasted!? I’ve never tried that. Off to the shops for me!

(I usually go with lots of butter but untoasted)

Philip Dunlop
Philip Dunlop
5 months ago
Reply to  Phuzz

Toasted will change your life. I prefer it without fruit (in Northern Ireland they call it Veda), but with good strawberry or cherry jam.

TriangleRAD
TriangleRAD
5 months ago

I remember when they moved the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse Dirigible Station. A few unlucky trans-Atlantic airships didn’t get the memo. They completely missed the new location-which was only half a mile further inland-and ended up wandering into South Carolina. The passengers and crews were never seen again.

Chronometric
Chronometric
5 months ago
Reply to  TriangleRAD

Oh the tragedy. If only they had marked the dirigible station with some kind of beacon…

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
5 months ago

Well if you know a better way to shorten Lord Suckwallingham Punkledairy III, I’d like to hear it.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
5 months ago

Ya, being a fan of nineties hip hop, he basically had no choice

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
5 months ago

“Deliciously Squidgy Energy! – SOREEN The Original Malt Loaf!”

Jason, are you putting up a picture of something you got at Omega Mart on the January LA road trip and passing it off as a real British thing?!?

But seriously, from the lead pic I thought it was going to be a Morris Isis van.

AssMatt
AssMatt
5 months ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

You have no idea what’s in store for you!

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
5 months ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

Can’t be as good as Spotted Dick

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
5 months ago
Reply to  Dale Mitchell

I assume you are referring to my upcoming novel, “Spotted Dick: Why I Deleted Tinder.”

DysLexus
DysLexus
5 months ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

Package says…
Energy = British has 670 kJ
Calories = US has 158 kcal

Wow. We Americans got it all wrong with the whole low-cal diet thing and counting calories, blah blah…Just call the “sucky” sweets Energy.

Obesity problem solved and US Dept. of Energy has a wonderful new addition.
You’re welcome.

Steve Schriefer
Steve Schriefer
5 months ago

The owner of Pointon’s Sweets Shop owner has the nickname Sucky P. Sucky means sweets in England.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
5 months ago

Ok, that’s genuinely helpful!

ChuckFickens
ChuckFickens
5 months ago

The owner of Pointon’s Sweets Shop owner”

So who owns the owner? 🙂

Steve Schriefer
Steve Schriefer
5 months ago
Reply to  ChuckFickens

Yeah, I saw that too late to edit. I believe his wife owns him. Rules might be different in England. 😉

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
5 months ago

Makes sense. The British seem to love infantilizing things. “Does babums want a suck-wucky for him’s widdle tum tum? Is sweetums feeling squidgy in his jim jams?”

Last edited 5 months ago by Dar Khorse
Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago

“Sucky means sweets in England.”

Well if I ever move to England now I know what to nickname my windowless white “Free Candy!” van.

Thomas Metcalf
Thomas Metcalf
5 months ago

So in England, the part in Full Metal Jacket could possibly be taken as a lady offering candy for sale to the hungry soldiers.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
5 months ago

Sucky has not meant sweets in any part of England I’ve lived in.

But that doesn’t mean that usage is:
a) wrong.
or
b) certain to result in an unexpected outcome that you won’t enjoy.

Steve Harris
Steve Harris
5 months ago

I’ve lived in various parts of the U.K. for 40 plus years, and I’ve never heard sweets called “sucky”, where did you hear that?

Steve Schriefer
Steve Schriefer
5 months ago
Reply to  Steve Harris

Hednesford specifically. Here, read their history, or skip to the last line of the page and read it directly from them. I haven’t heard it used in all my visits, but I have heard it said in other areas about certain candies, like sour candies and lollipops. https://www.pointons.co.uk/history.html

Chronometric
Chronometric
5 months ago

When I eat asparagus I have stinky p. Is this similar?

Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
5 months ago

Why is that golf cart wearing a chrome thong?

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
5 months ago

We don’t kink shame here.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
5 months ago
Reply to  MATTinMKE

Who’s shaming?
-might be showing interest 🙂

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
5 months ago
Reply to  TOSSABL

Yes, I think Chris’ comment very much implied the ending: “and where can I get one in my size?”

Chronometric
Chronometric
5 months ago

Trademark of Lustrous Loins Electric Conveyances.

David Smith
David Smith
5 months ago

In my house we use squidgy as the feeling of having to move quickly to the bathroom.

Parsko
Parsko
5 months ago

Just missed calling the “Sucky P41”. Almost Parsko, almost.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
5 months ago

“Sucky P” seems appropriate for a car show called Goodwood.

A. Barth
A. Barth
5 months ago

Slightly more distressing is the reference to being “the Original MALT LOAF”. Apparently there are malt loaf impersonators out there.

I had a Soreen once, but my doctor took care of it.

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
5 months ago

A long, long time ago, I worked grocery retail. The store I worked for did a massive rebrand and as part of that, dedicated a whole aisle to international foods. This was way before everyone become adventurous foodies and it was more out of the norm back then.

Anyway, the British section had canned Spotted Dick, which is apparently some sort of sponge pudding. I truly think the British have given us some of the worst cuisine this planet has to offer.

MEK
MEK
5 months ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

As a counter to that, a friend of mine moved to England a few years ago and she posted photos of the “American” section of her local market. It was basically Velveeta, Pop Tarts, Fruit Loops and Mac n’ Cheese. So we aren’t exactly the inspiring the world with haute cuisine either.

Parsko
Parsko
5 months ago
Reply to  MEK

I lived in the Netherlands for 2 years back around 2005. I can confirm this is about what they had. This, and Oreos. Finding Franks Red Hot was impossible, and we had to have people send it to us.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
5 months ago
Reply to  Parsko

Also, it usually has Goldfish crackers, which are a legit good piece of American snacking.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago
Reply to  Parsko

Frank’s is OK, rooster sauce is better.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
5 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

Tapatio.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago

IMHO that’s best on huevos rancheros, so so on other things.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
5 months ago
Reply to  MEK

I spent an extended time in Scotland many years ago. The Sainsbury I shopped at had a “Mexican” section that was entirely Old El Paso products. Being from San Antonio, I threw up in my mouth a bit.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago

Between that and the local haggis which did you go for?

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
5 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

Always support the locals!

Plus, haggis is a great excuse to indulge in a wee dram of whisky. (Not that an excuse is ever necessary there).

Plus, plus, there was a chippy shop a couple of blocks from my flat that served deep-fried haggis. Anything can be made tasty when deep-fried.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago

“Anything can be made tasty when deep-fried.”

Even “El Paso”?

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
5 months ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

Hmmm. Kinda hard to deep fry a entire city. Of course, this summer came close!

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago

I’ve been to El Paso. Good BBQ and DIY steak joints, the rest of it seemed an endless, free range scrapyard, then nothing but desert. I’m not sure deep frying would make much of a difference.

It beats its neighbor Juarez, the murder capital of the world though.

ChefCJ
ChefCJ
5 months ago

As a Scot that moved to Texas, I can tell you that the difference between the Mexican food I grew up on and the local food I first tried when I moved here was so eye opening I still can’t believe it. My family that still lives in Scotland can’t understand why I can eat Mexican food 5 days a week. It’s amazing that the British basically tried to conquer the world for spice, only to end up finding paprika ‘spicy’

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
5 months ago
Reply to  ChefCJ

All I can say for British Mexican food is that the Indian food is deliciosa!

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
5 months ago
Reply to  ChefCJ

If my Scottish in-laws are any indication, salt is spicy.

ChefCJ
ChefCJ
5 months ago

Feed them pepper if you really want to see some heads explode haha. Years of living in Texas and cooking food for a living has been amazing for me with the massive variety of different things to experience.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
5 months ago

I’ve had haggis in Scotland and menudo in El Paso.

Both were offal.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
5 months ago
Reply to  MEK

My sister lives in Sydney, Australia, and cannot find Velveeta for love nor money. Her step-daughter developed a taste for queso while visiting the US and cannot find a locally available acceptable substitute.

So every time my sister visits, she tries to leave enough space in her luggage for a few brick of that squidgy gold.

Mr. Frick
Mr. Frick
5 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Speaking from experience, that foil covered brick of dense cheese will get you thoroughly searched and questioned by the TSA

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
5 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I’m pretty sure shell be able to get ingredients locally for DIY:

https://www.spendwithpennies.com/copycat-recipe-homemade-velveeta-cheese/

Ben
Ben
5 months ago
Reply to  MEK

But those things are all delicious!* I won’t stand for impugning the honor of American junk food! Now excuse me while I go throw some disgusting Earl Grey tea in the lake (I’m not anywhere near a harbor, sorry). 😛

*: Except some flavors of Pop Tarts, which are truly awful. I’ve actually found that some of the generic brand flavors at my local grocery store are better than the more expensive namebrand Pop Tarts.

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
5 months ago
Reply to  Ben

I am British, and agree that Earl Grey is a foul abomination that shouldn’t be found anywhere near the tea shelves in a grocery store.

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
5 months ago
Reply to  MEK

Seeing Budweiser as an “imported lager” on a pub menu was surprising, but so was Country and Western night at a pub in Welford.

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
5 months ago
Reply to  Slow Joe Crow

Before the iron curtain fell, I was amused to see Czechvar in a bar in Amsterdam being promoted as a cheap Soviet Budweiser knock off.

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
5 months ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

Certainly the worst names for foods and treats.

Last edited 5 months ago by Jonathan Hendry
Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
5 months ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

Did the store also stock Faggots? A brand of frozen meatballs

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
5 months ago
Reply to  JerryLH3

Yes, the British. You know, fish, chips, cup o’ tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f***in’ Poppins … British!

Last edited 5 months ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Greg R
Greg R
5 months ago

From what I recall Mary Poppins was written in Australia by an Australian, British woman, PL Travers. Maryborough in Queensland claim her as one of their own, with all sorts of Mary Poppins memorabilia.

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