You might think that, by being car journalists, your favorite Autopian authors would have their cars in something resembling good shape. Instead, I have a moldy Saturn and a broken Toyota (more on that later this week), David has, uh, whatever is going on at his house, and Jason’s pickup truck got all hot and bothered. I’m pretty sure Thomas has also been going through BMW drama lately, too.
Jason wrote about how The Marshall, the supposedly reliable 1989 Ford F-150 that has been anything but reliable. Rollin Hand got the COTD win before many of you even had coffee this morning:
I’m an F150
Big and stout
I have some coolant leaking out
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout.
Jason’s money’s running out.
Canopysaurus also gave us a song:
It’s the little Cold Starter from Carolina
Go Torchy, go Torchy, go Torchy go
Has a driveway full of older sleds
Doesn’t hanker for finer
Go Torchy, go Torchy, go Torchy go
But parked in the yard near his dead camper Dodge
Is a rattletrap truck bent on self sabotageAnd everybody’s saying that there’s no sight that’s greener
Than an antifreeze geyser that’s becoming a steamer
Yeah the Ford’s sprung another leak it’s understood
It’s got a real bad problem sitting under the hoodIt’s the little Cold Starter from Carolina
He’s gonna blow a gasket now sooner or later
Cause he can’t get no coolant through his radiatorIt’s the little Cold Starter from Carolina
Go Torchy, go Torchy, go Torchy go
It’s the little Cold Starter from Carolina
Go Torchy, go Torchy, go Torchy go
(Fade out)
Today, our founders wrote about how they created a fake ‘Editorial Board’ to save Jalopnik. I have my own story about this Board that I probably cannot tell, but I can tell you this fake board was legit. DialMforMiata:
“I was mostly traveling around the world fixing junkers”
Also known as the Spark Plug Gap Year.
Phyrkrakr:
The Editorial Board (not its real name).
Today, we also asked you about features you didn’t know your car had. Bizness Comma Nunya:
I changed the radiator in a 1st gen CR-V for a friend who had like 280k miles on it at the time, most of those miles she drove that thing for. She camped in it, and even lived in it full time while doing some environmental study thing in some remote location.
…I could see her visibly get angry when I showed her the secret folding table in the trunk. She had the look of “…ALL THIS FUCKING TIME I HAD A TABLE, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE WHEN I WAS LIVING IN IT AAAHHHHHH!”
Have a great evening, everyone!
BOTH my cars are perfectly functional with no faults whatsover.
Y’all should implement a rule that you don’t get to drive press cars unless you have a functioning vehicle to take you to pick it up.
Also, you should film yourselves doing the repairs. I love that kind of stuff on Youtube. Jason yammering at the camera for 20 minutes while repairing a thermostat and showing some plumber’s crack? Hell yea.
That’s for losers. Press cars are dropped off at my house (usually – gives Renault the side eye).
We may have found a man capable of killing a 300 inline six.
Talk me out of buying the Marshall’s little brother. Another 2wd bullnose F150, a shortbed fleetside Lariat. Rust free but rough CA car. Needs door cards in particular (they are still available).I’m about ready to pull the trigger.
Tempted to rehab the interior only, leave the rust and dent free body as is.
Do it. Do it. Doooo it! Peer pressure is good.
Bring it on home! Those are good hard working trucks.
Absolutely you should not buy this. That sounds terrible. Give me the contact info so I can call the seller and let them know what a horrible idea this is. Also let me know how much you were planning to pay for this horrible idea, and if the seller might be willing to negotiate
I see through your evil plan. It’s a 302 and an AOD. I’m probably pulling the trigger this week.
I have issues. May need my dad or daughter to register and insure.
I see in a later comment that it’s a 302. My dad had a ’90 F-150 with a 302 and and was a giant piece of junk. The 302 was utterly gutless and the truck was on its third clutch within 50,000 miles with no help from Ford. Note that my father NEVER had to replace a clutch on any of his previous three pickups, a ’70 Chevy, a ’77 Dodge, and an ’82 Dodge and we used those trucks harder than the Ford ever got used.
I absolutely loved the Dodges with the rock-solid 318; in fact, I learned to drive stick on the ’77 with a three-on-the tree. The Ford was pure junk, though. So I hate to yuck other people’s yums but that particular truck put me off Ford trucks for a very long time.
I know the 302 pretty well, rebuilt the full top end on dad’s old ’85 Colony Park after it blew a head gasket. I was on a summer break from college and dad basically said – have at it. I know the later EFI versions as well, I still have an OBDIV scanner. An AOD trans doesn’t scare me.
Dang, my 1990 5.0 lasted over 300,000 miles, true mileage unknown and it took an absolute beating. It was falling apart, but I could keep it going on a shoestring budget in college, and it was easy to work on. Was even featured in a couple “Hoon of the day” specials on Jalopnik back in the day.
Damn, that CR-V table is nice, and kinda shocking she didn’t know about it.
The Editorial Board (pictured above) (not its real name)