Home » It’s A Miserable, Joyless, Money-Draining Experience: Tales From The Slack

It’s A Miserable, Joyless, Money-Draining Experience: Tales From The Slack

Swg Sl500 Hulk

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CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 month ago

Such a shame. Old SLs were the shit. Newer SLs are just shit. Maybe it’s punishment for reversing the SL and model number.

MALinium Falcon
Member
MALinium Falcon
1 month ago
Reply to  CR-V Oswald

I’m was looking at a 1992 500SL or 500SEL and was terrified of the major know failures, let alone the ones that come out of nowhere. Frankly, I’m going to pass on it, the pneumatics alone, in modern cars is just nuts.

Sad Little Boxster
Member
Sad Little Boxster
1 month ago

“Glove Box fell off of the dashboard (cracked plastic mount)”

My wife came in from the garage earlier today and said when she opened the glove box of our RAV4 a screw fell out. She found a screwdriver, put it back in and tightened the other two. All is good now, but I feel your pain in a hypothetical sense.

Drs Cars
Member
Drs Cars
1 month ago

This is why i sold my (much newer) mercedes. I just don’t trust the brand and don’t need the potential financial albatross of a car that badly. We had fun with it for a few years but it just wasn’t worth the stress

Joe L
Member
Joe L
1 month ago

This is why the only old luxury car I would buy would be a Lexus.

Anoos
Member
Anoos
1 month ago

Is this a car worthy of rescue?

Who is nostalgic for this, a sorority girl remembering the first DUI her daddy got her out of?

Ricardo M
Ricardo M
1 month ago
Reply to  Anoos

Not gonna lie, this is the exact car I think of when I picture a really successful businessman, it was the luxury car of my childhood. I’m not going to buy one, but they definitely exude coolness to me.

If I lost my left leg and right arm in a climactic and tragic duel against my best friend on a lava flow, I might start looking for one with a very thorough maintenance record.

Argentine Utop
Member
Argentine Utop
1 month ago

It really takes some effort to get our SWG to curse like a drunken Irish lorry driver. Well done, Daimler Mercedes, an impressive feat.
Stephen may pretty well call an exorcist.

Brock Landers
Member
Brock Landers
1 month ago

To quote Will Arnett’s color man on the court in Will Ferrell’s Semi-Pro:
that SL500 “is a shit-fucking sandwich!”

Good luck SWG! I’m pulling for you….

StillNotATony
Member
StillNotATony
1 month ago

SWG, I’m just going to drop some pearls of wisdom here.

1. Full coverage for, say 2 months on the SL can’t be that expensive.

2. TV and movies have lied to us for decades. Arson investigation is nowhere near as precise as they’d like us to believe.

Not that I’m suggesting anything.

Disphenoidal
Member
Disphenoidal
1 month ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Seems like the BCM is designed for that purpose. Mercedes knew what they were doing.

Bags
Member
Bags
1 month ago
Reply to  Disphenoidal

The car tried to help, and Stephen foiled its plan

Space
Space
1 month ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I know a guy who knows a guy that has burnt down 4 vehicles for insurance money all in the same location. I asked my guy how he wasn’t in jail yet. He said the police never even bothered with anything beyond a police report.*

*This was years ago so maybe he did get caught later on? Doubt it though.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 month ago
Reply to  Space

Maybe the guy in question is a LEO.

Anoos
Member
Anoos
1 month ago
Reply to  Space

There is a place not far from Logan airport that is isolated and allows you to drive a vehicle into saltwater.

I’m surprised they didn’t rename it Escalade Beach in 2010.

Cars? I've owned a few
Member
Cars? I've owned a few
1 month ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

OTH, it could spontaneously combust and some investigator not as mechanically savvy as SWG might think it was an insurance fraud case and make his life with this thing even more hellacious than it already has been. I don’t know if this Slack conversation would be exhibit A for the prosecution or the defense.

I will concur with Joe L and never buy another German car again (I’ve had three). I was a Mercedes fanboy back before I was old enough to drive or buy even a used one. Now I’m old enough to do both but with age comes wisdom.

Best wishes Sir Gossin.

SlowBrownWagon
Member
SlowBrownWagon
1 month ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I have an idea for that. About 25 years ago wife was driving the SBW to the store and when she came out it wouldn’t start, called from a payphone (remember those days?) and I come to check it out.

Get there, car smells of gas. Says to self “That can’t be right, it’s fuel injection.” Well, the fuel pressure regulator had failed and unlike the other ones I’ve encountered that prevented fuel flow, this allowed all fuel flow. Intake was full of gas up to the air mass sensor. When I got it home and drained the crankcase I freaked out as my drainpan overflowed because there was at least a gallon of gas below the pistons in with the oil. That combined with the biodegradable wiring left me stunned that it didn’t just blow up when she tried to start it. German pressure regulator (Bosch), seems totally plausible that could happen to the Merc. Just use the remote start when you do that.

Paul E
Member
Paul E
1 month ago

That SOS button on the overhead console isn’t just something to press repeatedly on SWG’s car, it’s a metaphor.

Lincoln Clown CaR
Member
Lincoln Clown CaR
1 month ago
Reply to  Paul E

I’m sure it’s broken, so it probably is just a metaphor.

DialMforMiata
Member
DialMforMiata
1 month ago

The disintegrating mirror is the cherry on the shit sundae, except the cherry is actually a crumbly blanched dog turd that’s been baking in the summer sun for a couple of days.

Last edited 1 month ago by DialMforMiata
Dodsworth
Member
Dodsworth
1 month ago

This is shameful on Mercedes’ part. Maybe SWG can borrow a chainsaw? Cut your loses, I always say.

Cars? I've owned a few
Member
Cars? I've owned a few
1 month ago
Reply to  Dodsworth

Be sure to invite Jason over when you get to the battery.

Geo Metro Mike
Member
Geo Metro Mike
1 month ago
Reply to  Dodsworth

Remember the Dual Saw ad long ago where dude cut a car in half. I think something like that would be appropriate here.

SAABstory
Member
SAABstory
1 month ago

Decision Tree for Used Cars

  1. Is the car interesting? Yes, continue.
  2. Has SWG worked on one before? Yes, continue.
  3. Has SWG put the car in running order without wanting to commit a crime or do questionable things in anger? NO. STOP.

At this point the SL goes on the UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES list.

Space
Space
1 month ago
Reply to  SAABstory

At this point we should just get a list of cars SWG has not worked on. Would be shorter.

Stephen Walter Gossin
Stephen Walter Gossin
1 month ago
Reply to  Space

Here’s The List since ’95:

’84 Cougar
’85 Cougar (blue)
’92 Cougar (green)
’89 Cougar (white)
’96 Cougar (black)
’74 Cougar
’72 Torino
’86 Turbo Coupe
’86 Escort
’91 Mustang
’94 Mark VIII
’92 Capri
’99 Explorer
’88 Bronco 2 (sold for Tom)
’99 Cougar
’02 Cougar
’03 ZX-2 (silver bumper)
’99 ZX-2 (fiesta red)
’01 ZX-3
’93 Ranger (dark red)
’06 Lincoln Zephyr
’07 Fusion
’88 Bronco 2 (commission sale for Patrick Usher)
’03 Escape (red, bad O2 circuit)
’04 Taurus (Richie’s “Great Bull”)
’02 Exploder Sport (red)
’07 Exploder (maroon)
’59 Thunderbird (Tim F’s car)
(28 total)

’91 Sedan DeVille
’90 Century
’89 Regal
’85 LeSabre
’90 Olds Cutlass
’94 Firebird Formula (green)
’94 Trans Am (black, auto)
’95 Firebird Formula (black 6sp.)
’95 Firebird (purple)
’95 Firebird Formula (silver)
’72 LeMans
’05 Grand Am
’85 Sunbird (wagon, 5sp.)
’85 Camaro (red)
’98 Saturn SC (gold)
’94 Saturn SL (blue)
’99 Saturn SC2 (gold)
’01 Saturn SL (red)
’99 Century (gold)
’04 Cavalier (yellow)
’06 G6
’02 Corvette (Mike’s assist sale)
’02 Saturn (white, Chris Laws)
’02 Cadillac DHS (from Wes Sawyer)
’03 Pontiac Sunfire (blue)
’00 Gran Prix (gold)
’99 Chevy S10 (Heath’s truck)
’02 Z-71 Suburban (John Wade’s truck)
’94 Buick Park Ave Ultra (green)
’10 Impala
’03 GMC Envoy 
’05 CTS, Pearl White
’11 Malibu dark blue
’02 Chevy Tracker
’03 Pontiac Bonneville (Gold)
’94 Chevy S10 (White)
’07 Chevy Malibu (dark blue, Wooster &11th)
’05 Malibu (gold)
’99 Camaro (white, convertible)
’91 Firebird (yellow)
(40 total)

’88 C Class
’92 Jetta
’80 Civic
’97 Maxima
’97 Montero
’06 Scion Xa
’90 Integra (neighbors)
’02 XK8
’05 Lexus LS 430
’80 Mercedes Diesel from Tripp
’03 SL500 
’90 560 SEL from Tripp
’99 Jetta (Kendra)
’08 C300 (from Charlotte)
’10 Mazda (sold Reina’s car)
’04 Sentra (Reina’s mom’s car)
’06 Nissan Murano (Silver)
’03 Volvo V70 Cross Country
’06 Honda Accord (black)
’03 Volvo C70 (Gay David’s car)
’06 Nissan Murano (black)
’04 Nissan Frontier 4×4 (black)
’05 Honda metropolitan
’03 Jaguar X-Type 
’07 Nissan Xterra 
’08 C300 (Reina’s car)
’07 Jaguar XK
’06 Nissan Altima (dark red)
’11 Nissan Juke
’11 Subaru Outback (Tristan Murphy’s)
’66 Citroen 2CV
’04 Nissan 350Z
’03 SL500, black
’08 Mitsu Lancer, blue
’92 Volvo 240 Wagon, blue
’09 Hyundai Genesis (black)
’14 Altima (Pearl White)
’04 Mercedes C320 (silver, hit front & back)
’08 Tundra (white)
(39 total)

’92 Acclaim
’80 Volare
’94 Voyager
’90 Daytona
’03 Stratus
’95 Intrepid
’85 Ram 
’90 Talon
’91 Cherokee
’94 LHS
’96 LHS
’98 Concorde
’95 Cirrus
’87 New Yorker
’88 New Yorker
’87 LeBaron
’89 LeBaron
’91 LeBaron sedan
’95 Sebring (black, rebuilt)
’01 Sebring Coupe (white)
’98 Sebring Convertible (white)
’97 Sebring Convertible (white, blown)
’96 Sebring Convertible (green)
’98 Sebring Convertible (triple black)
’01 Sebring Convertible (triple blue)
’01 Sebring Convertible (silver)
’08 Sebring Convertible
’00 Sebring Convertible (green)
’06 Sebring Convertible (white/tan top)
’04 Durango
’04 Crossfire (silver)
’98 Durango (red)
’05 Crossfire (silver)
’07 Caliber
’93 Stealth
’98 Neon
’94 LeBaron
’93 LeBaron
’04 Crossfire (white)
’96 Ram 1500 (green)
’13 300C
’09 Nitro (dark red)
’93 New Yorker Salon
’07 Sebring Sedan (“Grandma Gold”)
’97 Ram 1500 (white)
’14 Dodge Journey (black)
’05 Jeep Liberty (dark blue)
’07 Nitro (black R/T)
’02 Grand Cherokee for Mike 
’06 Jeep Liberty (white, from Connor) 
’13 Grand Cherokee (silver, sold on commission for Sara Benson-Little from Shannon’s)
’95 Stealth, black
’94 LeBaron, red
’11 Chrysler 200 (flip with Reina)
’08 Chrysler Aspen (blue)
’00 Ram 1500 (blue/silver, V8, 2WD)
(57 total)

Grand Total: 163

TDI_FTW
Member
TDI_FTW
1 month ago

Wow, only 1 Focus variant. With all the other econoboxes on there I’m surprised.

Space
Space
1 month ago

Great list do you keep that on an Excell sheet or something?

Also a 13′ 300C! How did that end up at the evil wrenching lair so soon?

Stephen Walter Gossin
Stephen Walter Gossin
1 month ago
Reply to  Space

Thanks Space!

I keep it in Google Keep, which works great also for running lists on the 14 cars I currently have at hand.

The ’13 300C was a gift from my uncle. He bought a Tesla Model X years ago and wanted to do something nice for me since I’ve never owned a car that new/not broken.

I gifted it to my brother then we ended up selling got a few years later and gave the proceeds back to my uncle. Story to come!

Joer
Member
Joer
1 month ago
Reply to  SAABstory

100%. I was interested in an SL and have been following this SL’s journey. Now I’ve taken the SL off my list, no matter how good the opportunity/deal is, and my Autopian membership has paid for itself many times over.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago

Looked good, but a huge downgrade from the R129. Same issue with the BCM with my nephew’s C-class. The car wasn’t worth a “new” unit. Of course there were other issues, too, but they weren’t junk-it issues. I think VW used those same junk plastics. I’m actually impressed it survived that many years as I remember under hood VW plastics falling apart in my hand after a year or so as if they chose the wrong grail.

Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago

So I gather nobody uses that model for a taxicab.

It’s too bad that American laws make it very difficult, but someone that had an operation like Singer that instead of modernizing old cars and making them all high tech, just made kits to replace all the proprietary engine and transmission controls, weird cooling systems, vacuum lines to every door and the trunk, and replace the wiring harness with something that made sense, commodity 13.5 volt batteries, and so on.

A mechanic in Rhinebeck NY was doing that for years replacing the electrical systems on foreign cars with American stuff. Ford solenoids, Mopar alternators etc.

Then he disappeared with a sophomore girl from Bard and there were about 120 cars that might as well bee imported from Mars.some mechanic figured them out and had a captive customer base for a few years.

Anyway a “rationalize your SL” kit would be great.

Mercedes used to be great about supporting old cars, with the exploded diagram of the car with every part number , just in case you needed a suspension bushing by mail wherever you might be. Is it that dismal everywhere or just the USA?

Jack Trade
Member
Jack Trade
1 month ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

I like to think this is the underappreciated thing Ford did for Jaguar in the 90s.

Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Yes, unfortunately also for Volvo.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 month ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

Using any SL as a taxi would be quite the feat.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago

Peter you are truly a horrible friend. I don’t even know SWG except through this website and I would never do that. TBH I’m talking about telling him I laughed at his misfortune I totally laughed when I read it. This is a good time to re mention my idea of a section here where we help each other track down those hard to find parts. And speaking of selling parts maybe now is a perfect time to let this car live on by helping other cars come back to life rather than keeping it on life support.

Urban Runabout
Member
Urban Runabout
1 month ago

Sadly, when the R230 came out on 2003 – it had the worst reliability of any Mercedes-Benz prior.

But owners still rated the car highly in JD Power surveys – our guess is they were blinded by the reflection of the star….

Of course by 2009, R230’s had a lot of that stuff ironed out
(or “features” deleted)

Which yet again proves the old adage about a cheap Mercedes-Benz…
…and helps us understand why MB can’t give away SLs anymore.

Personally the only current new MB I’d ever consider buying is the E350 RWD E Class – without hyper screens, fancy suspensions, AMG BS, etc.
(Or an E300 Hybrid E Class wagon, if I moved to Europe)

All the rest is garbage.

Last edited 1 month ago by Urban Runabout
Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago
Reply to  Urban Runabout

What about those vans that the postal service uses?
I understand that’s sort of the closest thing to a utility Benz you can get nor,

Cars? I've owned a few
Member
Cars? I've owned a few
1 month ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

The Metris? I have a friend who worked for the USPS for a couple of years. He said they were better to drive than the old Grummans, and I do see a fair number of Metri still running around in USPS livery. I can’t imagine there’s a huge market for RHD minivans here in the US.

Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago

I wasn’t thinking of getting a RHD, but I remember Doug DeMuro reviewing one and complaining that it seemed sturdy but not very Mercedes like. That alone got it on my list of things to check out eventually. Then I heard they get used as cabs some places. I gathered that they aren’t sold in the USA anymore though.

Geo Metro Mike
Member
Geo Metro Mike
1 month ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

11,000 miles now. They cant take the work abuse. The ignition module has been replaced and is going out again. The window track got welded back onto the door. The sliding door wobbles and now the switch is failing showing the door open on the dash. Full brake job recently and now they’re making noise again. The radio turns on by itself and sometimes the van stays running after pulling the key out. They also eat front tires. Its about to get a 4th set!!

Jack Trade
Member
Jack Trade
1 month ago

Sorry SWG! Here’s hoping maybe you find a first gen Sebring or similar soon to rinse the bad taste out of your mouth.

As a Gen Xer, it’s funny how in my lifetime Mercedes went from building these absolute tanks that inspired confidence for years, to these flashy but crappy things.

It’s always intrigued me how in the car world, a reputation can be built over years, or with one one giant accomplishment, but it takes seemingly forever to completely destroy it, no matter how much effort you put into it. Meanwhile, in a lot of other areas, all it takes is a single bad decision, and you’ll never fully recover.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

I think a lot of the MB problems stem from old steady money vs bling bling bling.show me the shiny thing. All that tech bois money and no taste.

Dogpatch
Member
Dogpatch
1 month ago

Place a brick on the accelerator pedal,let’s see if the rev limiter will fail like most of the rest of the stuff in that lemon.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago
Reply to  Dogpatch

That might be how he found out the throttle pedal failed.

M. Park Hunter
Member
M. Park Hunter
1 month ago

Who says Mercedes got nothing out of the “merger of equals?”

Along with pillaging the cash reserves, they also got infected with quality woes. Call it Chrysler’s Revenge.

Sorry, SWG. Hope you can laugh about this someday.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  M. Park Hunter

I like your thinking

Lbibass
Member
Lbibass
1 month ago

that mirror looks shockingly like the dodge 1st gen dashboard issues. My guess is they used ABS or PVC for that mirror enclosure.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  Lbibass

I don’t know PVC may not be pretty but it lasts forever

Sucktastico!
Member
Sucktastico!
1 month ago

My one and only Benz was a 2022 GLC. It was a good color, and the 2-tone seats were nice. Full stop.

Squeaky, tractor-sounding engine, boring. The software was okay, I guess. Traded it in 18 months later on a GTI.

I know, software… but it was way more fun.

Sucktastico!
Member
Sucktastico!
1 month ago

Nothing more expensive than a cheap…used….older than5 years…German luxury car.

Except Sacco Benzes….well and 70s Benzes…okay any Benz after 1995 is not cheap. Even if its cheap.

Last edited 1 month ago by Sucktastico!
Jerry Thomas
Jerry Thomas
1 month ago
Reply to  Sucktastico!

I agree, but feel anything post 1991 is scary because of the biodegradable wiring

Urban Runabout
Member
Urban Runabout
1 month ago
Reply to  Sucktastico!

Oddly enough, the R230 is a Sacco design.
The very last one.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago
Reply to  Urban Runabout

It did look pretty decent.

Sucktastico!
Member
Sucktastico!
1 month ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Agreed – it looks fairly nice, although has always seems a little ungainly to me – like not quite enough cabin.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago
Reply to  Sucktastico!

Yeah, it’s not as bad as the McLaren SLR, but it does have a bit of that.

CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 month ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Meh. Sacco lost the plot after the W124, arguably, and towards the mid 90s without question.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  Sucktastico!

I think we need a caveat here. As long as you don’t use them as cars I think they are dependable. Great lawn ornaments, great driveway bling, good for still pictures, hell they look great shoved over a cliff

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 month ago

It is here that Mechjaz carefully neglects to mention he may have ever been vaguely interested in the SL, and quietly reopens tabs for nice Mazda3’s for the driving-age kiddo.

Urban Runabout
Member
Urban Runabout
1 month ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

Go ahead and get an SL

Just make sure it’s a mid-series (’96-’98) R129 SL500 in great condition with most, if not all maintenance records.

Or an R107 560SL (same conditions as above) if you can stomach the fuel consumption.

And avoid the ones with cheap aftermarket grilles, dented/scuffed bodywork, dirty interiors, and non-AMG or BBS aftermarket wheels – They are indicators of bad things inside.

And never give a kid an SL.

Last edited 1 month ago by Urban Runabout
CR-V Oswald
Member
CR-V Oswald
1 month ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

They made 1+ million R107 and they’re easy enough to find you don’t need to compromise. Get a sell sorted ’88 or ’89 560SL and never look back. Make sure the timing chain guides are in good shape.

I’d also get the immediately following 560SEC but tmk it’s the same engine and binnacle as my SL, so what’s the point of paying the crazy premium other than they are gorgeous.

Stryker_T
Member
Stryker_T
1 month ago

when he said “the mirror disintegrated in my hand”, I wasn’t prepared for how accurate that statement was actually going to be!

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  Stryker_T

Maybe he has Magilla the Gorilla ???? hands

Max Headbolts
Member
Max Headbolts
1 month ago
Reply to  Stryker_T

I used to own a mid-80s Audi, and had a nearly similar experience. IT was the 90s, so finding new parts was a lot harder back then so I just wrapped a rubber band around it.

That was the biggest problem with that car, the plastics were just turning to dirt in real time.

Albert Ferrer
Member
Albert Ferrer
1 month ago

A Spaniard commenting from Oslo listening to Natalie Lafourcade. It will get better, Stephen! Probably.

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