A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
A 3,536 of 4-4-2’s
A scabbard of Cutlasses
An immolation of Firebirds
A lilypad of Sprites
A loogie of Spitfires
A Homer of Odysseys
A resonance of Pontiac Vibes. Ask David, he’ll probably get it.
I propose an Ampere of Volts rather than a Shock of Volts.
A potential of Volts.
The electrical nerd is strong with this one.
You just made all the electrical engineers cry
A “vape” or “cloud” of WRXs
I was thinking “A Rust of Jeeps” or “A group of Holy Grails”
A Grail of Jeeps
I think you can only call them a grail when there are more than five, and all of them need major wrenching.
An autoerotica of Autopians
A Valhalla of Legends
a tribe of Pontiacs
a lesson of Civics
Group of Miatas: A Wiata
A meatball of 2CVs
A Haha of Bajas
A Dogpound of Rovers
A Topple of Reliant Robins
A Prostate Exam of Bugeyes
A Pride of Peugeots – Yeah, I reused an animal term. So what?
A Meeting Room of Audis
A Flat Roof Pub of Vauxhalls
A Roll of Nissan Figaros – Like fig rolls, mmmm fig rolls.
A Quartet of Quatrelles.
I would be WAY TOO EXCITED to see a lump of parsh.
This is my new favorite group activity.
A clatter of Beetles!
A coven of Subarus.
A malpractice of Maseratis.
A slog of Siennas.
A herd of Rams.
A loan of Lexus(es).
A derangement of dekotora.
An anxiety of Altimas.
An abyss of Altimas. (“Gaze not into the abyss…”)
A clash of Titans.
A harassment of Harleys.
A scamper of Miatas.
A seance of Souls.
A neoteny of Neons. (“Hi.”)
An oxidation of Tracys
A Rake of Leafs
A Pyre of Pintos
An electorate of Civics
A blessing of Jam808s
A swoon of GMAs
A slip of Tatras
A sleep of caravans
A slide of Citroëns
A whisper of Schlörwagens
A Roll of Samuri (Suzukis)
A proletariat of Ladas
A boil of Lancias?
A posse of Crown Vics
A patrol of Crown Vics
A posse of Silverados
An invasion of Gilberns (obviously )
A glimmer of Ginettas
A molecule of Fairthorps
A singularity of Mohs
A stampede of Studabakers
A brace of Bristols
A Causeway of Subarus
Just to add to the Australian (as it applies in New Zealand) “A Tailgating of Ford Rangers”