Last week; was it last week? Was it more than a week ago? No, I think it was last week – I was in Los Angeles, and I got to spend a little bit of time with David and Laurence as they were building that WWII Jeep from eBay parts. Well, like 99% eBay parts: there were some little bolts David needed, so we ended up at a hardware store. It was one of those that has those rows of little drawers full of small nuts and bolts and ball bearings and wire terminals and all kinds of satisfying little bits. I always love these parts of hardware stores.
I hid David’s phone in one of these drawers and then called it, too. It was fun watching him confusedly scan the whole rack of drawers wondering where the hell the sound of his phone was coming from.
Anyway, some of these drawers had little springs in them, and when I looked at some of the labels that showed pictures of the springs that lurked within, a couple of them reminded me, strangely powerfully, of certain car faces. There was one that had two springs that felt like very specific cars:
Sure, that top spring just feels like a spring, but the other two? They’re triggering some car-focused pareidolia in my brain, especially that middle one. Let’s start with the bottom one, though.
It’s kind of a more generic-seeming round-sealed-beam/vertical slat grille setup, though finding exactly what fits this look, with the right proportions, isn’t as easy as you may think. At first I thought maybe an International Scout was the right choice:
…but that divide in the middle of the vertical-slatted grille sort of breaks it. It’s close otherwise, with the headlight-to-grille ratio being pretty close. But there’s others that could work, too. Like the variant of the Suzuki Samurai with the vertical-slot grille:
That’s pretty close! I can live with that!
Strangely, the second spring, which may actually seem less car-face-like at first glance, actually conjured up a much more specific car:
A 1970 Mercury Cougar! The proportions aren’t exactly exact, but it just feels like the face of this cougar, and fired some Cougar-related brain neurons when I saw it almost immediately.
Personally, I think it’s almost uncanny: can you have a small spring that looks more like the front end of a ’70 Cougar?
I don’t think so.
Top is a 54 Desoto.
Crap! He sprung a pop quiz!
Oh, there’s no question that middle spring is a Cougar grille. That instantly popped into my head the moment I saw it.
I was thinking Jeep-ish with the bottom spring but it could apply to a fair number of vehicles.
My thoughts exactly.
I had forgotten about the Cougar’s hide-a-way headlamps. Were they failure-prone?
No. Ford’s flip up headlights of the era were very robust. For some reason the late 70s and 80s hidden headlights were failure prone by all manufacturers.
My ’86 Accord’s stood up for at least ten years and 160 K miles without issue.
Victory is mine! The middle spring brought Mercury Cougar to me with no hesitation. The top spring is the new Telluride and the bottom is Jeep.
My mind stacked the bottom spring over an inverted middle. Jeep/Jimney grill, lamps and bumper with a winch.
I saw triumph dolomite for the 2nd spring but I could see cougar too.
My brain IMMEDIATLY went to “Cougar” when I saw the title and photo.
The bottom one could be a Jeep, Zuk, or I bet there’s a bunch of Chinese copies that look like that too. I wouldn’t be surprised if the original Mahindra Roxor grille looks like that too.
That top spring has hints of a 1991 Ford Escort GT.
Yep 2nd spring as mercury cougar
3rd spring my brain went to original flat fender wwII jeep, Scout and Samari are good visuals too!
Ironically given my chosen screen name, my first thought for the middle one was the rear of a 1958-1960 Ford Thunderbird, and my second thought was the front of a 1962 Pontiac Tempest.
But 1970 Cougar definitely works, too.
I love that Torch also went right for the 70 cougar.
That hood tooth hurts when it bites your head.
My first glance at the top photo said ’48 Ford F1.
I immediately thought Cougar and Jeep but I guess everyone sees something differently.
Not everyone. I also landed on Cougar and Jeep as first thoughts.
You really should have held off on this post for a month since it’s not quite spring yet.
the tension is killing me
Some of these responses are a stretch.
Leave it to Jason to see some random crap in a hardware store and spring to action with an entertaining post.
That’s exactly the kind of tension we expect from this website.
I went with E24 6 Series at first glance, but that grille is more angular. I think Cougar is the right call for that one. Also you know, no headlights.
You put his phone in a hardware store drawer and called it? And you’re wondering why random people are accusing you of 10-year old alleged offenses that you can’t recall?
I was even more struck by: why and under what circumstances would he have David’s phone in the first place?
An unforced error on David’s part, right?
to be fair, he left it and forgot about it on the shelf. I just moved it into the drawer to see if he would notice!
Counting down to the post David writes about leaving his phone inside one of the body panels of the Jeep à la the possibly apocryphal beer cans found inside the doors of Fords in the 1970s…
I also immediately thought of a Mercury Cougar when I saw the one spring.
But then, I often have cougars on the brain.
That top spring I’ve really only seen under the wheel wells of my cars going vertically. (other than the back of my Bug, which is suspended by tubes and German demon magic, maybe Kobolds, far as I can tell.) Not sure what that’s all about.
I see Jeep Renegade in the bottom one. The middle is absolutely ’70 Cougar, although some first-gen Barracudas come close-ish.
I once got a chicken nugget from Burger King that looked exactly like the side profile of Kevin Costner.
If Burger King nuggets are made similar to McDonalds, then there are only a few shapes. McDonalds has the Bell, the Bone, the Ball, and the Boot. Burger King has the Costner.
The second spring brought to my addled mind not the Cougar, but a similar-vintage Dodge Coronet:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5f/1970_Dodge_Coronet_440_Sedan%2C_Blue.jpg/1280px-1970_Dodge_Coronet_440_Sedan%2C_Blue.jpg
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3a/1970_Dodge_Super_Bee_%2831776713105%29.jpg/500px-1970_Dodge_Super_Bee_%2831776713105%29.jpg
1. 7th-gen Mercury Cougar
2. 1st-gen Toyota Corolla
To me, it totally looks like the rear of a 1960s’ Ford Thunderbird. Specifically, a 1965:
https://www.tunnelram.net/news-blog/2021/7/15/car-life-road-test-1965-thunderbird
Stretch a little gap in the middle of the Cougar spring and it becomes the face of every BMW that had the tiny kidney grilles.
It made me feel longings for my old E34 535i when I saw it.
Ah, I am deeply satisfied. I saw the double-hook spring and thought, huh, Mercury. Bingo.
In somewhat more disturbing news, it appears my brain convolutes in similar fashion to Torch. I will check in with my pathologist and get back to you.
That top spring, I’m thinking Hummer.
You know what, look at that top spring again and think about a 1975 Jeep J10, the one with the sometimes-called Remington front end.
We’re all slowly merging into the Torchian hive mind.