The late 2000s through the 2010s were a novel age for German luxury cars because it really was the try-anything era, with no niche being deemed too small. From coupe crossovers to large liftbacks to luxurious four-seat grand touring cabriolets to new entry-level models, we really had a bumper crop. One of the best to come out of this mentality is the Mercedes-Benz GLB, which replaced the dowdy B-Class with a boxy little three-row thing. Now there’s a new one on the horizon, and it dials up the weird substantially. Let’s take a look.
The outgoing Mercedes-Benz GLB is spiritually the closest thing Americans could buy to a brand-new Dodge Colt Vista, a compact car stretched into an almost minivan-like silhouette with traditional doors instead of sliders. Sure, Mercedes-Benz calls it a crossover, but that’s really just plastic cladding lip service. This is, after all, a machine 3.4 inches longer than a Honda Civic hatchback that offers 1.1 more inches of third-row legroom than a Toyota Highlander. Plus, you could even get it as a 302-horsepower AMG GLB 35 that made hilarious turbo noises, or as a sensible EV. See what I mean about strange?
It gets stranger. There’s now a new Mercedes-Benz GLB, and it makes the old one look downright conventional. Let’s start with the powertrain. While the old electric EQB featured front-wheel drive on the base model, Mercedes-Benz has literally done a 180 with the GLB 250+ with EQ Technology. Yep, it’s a rear-wheel-drive mini-MPV crossover sort of thing, with a single 268-horsepower motor on the rear axle. Fed by an 85 net kWh battery pack, Mercedes-Benz claims it’s good for 392 miles on the WLTP cycle, some 111 miles more than the old EQB 250. Thanks to an 800-volt architecture, it will DC fast charge at up to 320 kW, which is right up there with models like the Porsche Taycan. Plus, you even get a frunk so your charging cable doesn’t go flying about the rear cargo area.
If that isn’t quite enough juice for you, the GLB 350 4Matic with EQ Technology adds a permanently excited electric motor on the front axle to boost total output to 349 horsepower and slash the claimed zero-to-60 mph time from 7.3 seconds to 5.4 seconds. Come to think of it, not only does “permanently excited” sound like a reason to visit the doctor, “EQ Technology” in itself is bizarre because even though it means electric power, it sounds like Stuttgart is boasting about a massive graphic equalizer in the middle of the dashboard. Sort of like when Pontiac used to put the letters “ABS” on its wheels and hubcaps.
It’s also worth mentioning that electric cars don’t typically have gears, but thanks to the new GLB being a CLA in cargo shorts, it has two. The rear drive unit boasts two ratios, 11:1 for quick low-speed acceleration and 5:1 to keep the motor in its efficiency sweet spot on the highway. This means that you should be able to feel a shift, although when you’ll feel it probably depends on how late you are to your next appointment. Oh, and in case electric power doesn’t suit you, an equally weird 1.5-liter hybrid model is coming. It may only be a 48-volt hybrid system, but its 27-horsepower transmission-mounted motor promises to glide along at city speeds without involving the gasoline engine. That’s not normal.
In addition to a shift in propulsion, the new Mercedes-Benz GLB looks weirder than the old one, too. There’s a whiff of recent Kia to the giant L-shaped taillights, a strange rotundness to the front end, and a massive faux grille that lets the world know you’re leasing this thing at 6.99 percent. It’s still a boxy little thing, but some of the details are simply odd, and that’s before we get into the cabin and electronics.
Slide behind the wheel of the new GLB, and the first thing you’ll want to do is look up. See, Mercedes-Benz is offering this thing with an illuminated panoramic moonroof that features a bunch of logos above your head, so you’ll know what it’s like to drive a gaming PC. Shift your eyes back to the horizon, and the dashboard in your peripheral view will be pure CLA, including an available passenger screen that nobody asked for because everyone has phones these days. Speaking of screens, inside the infotainment sits settings for something called SoundExperience, which seems a bit like Hyundai’s Sounds of Nature except with less nature but is actually a series of propulsion noises and chimes. Here, I’ll let Mercedes-Benz explain using its description of two new sound collections:
- “Fractal Fusion” embodies a hedonistic, futuristic lifestyle, combining nostalgic sounds from 80s arcade games and synthwave music with modern, vibrant synthesizer textures.
- “Granular Fuzz” offers an expressive, organic style that emphasizes simplicity and straightforwardness. This sound combines fat guitar tones, epic orchestral soundtrack elements and post-apocalyptic electronic effects.
You’ve probably never wondered what it would be like to drive a car that sounds like a 2015 Adam Sandler film, but here we are. That’s a novelty you’ll use once. Speaking of novelty, Mercedes-Benz is proud of ChatGPT4o and Microsoft Bing integration, but voice commands already rarely work entirely as promised, and the possibility of AI hallucinations probably won’t help with that.
Speaking of things that make you go “hunh?”, there are some more weird-bad surprises here to go with the weird-good ones. The use of two window switches and a capacitive touch pad to control four power windows is not so nice, nor is having hardly any physical dashboard controls. However, Mercedes-Benz does seem to be learning. The steering wheel now features physical controls for volume and adaptive cruise control distance, a step forward in the right direction after going capacitive-touch crazy.
So, the Mercedes-Benz GLB is still small and still available with three rows of seats, but it grows even weirder and greener for its second generation. Not only should it still be reasonably inexpensive by Mercedes-Benz standards, but short of tippy-top models like the S-Class and G-Class, it might be the most exciting thing to come from the brand. Expect to see it go on sale later next year.
Top graphic image: Mercedes-Benz
Does this one include Microsoft Teams for meetings on the go? I think the EQ has Teams which caused derision on the IT forum. This is interesting for being outside the US mainstream but joins a long list of cars I have no interest in buying or driving.
Definitely looks like an overinflated Soul. Like 120% scale
The hamsters are now capybara.
Oh, that would be nice. I can see the commercials now.
Also, there’s a(t least one) capybara cafe, it’s in Japan of course (like a cat cafe).
In terms of looks, I actually like this new one better. And I like that they made it RWD and now have some Frunk space.
The only thing that would stop me from buying one is “German Quality”
No, you would be leasing it with a 0.0029125 money factor. Using “interest rate” with a lease would be far too straightforward and give up an opportunity to baffle the punters.
And no thanks on this thing, Mercedes-Benz is just as dead to me as BMW is. The one I own (s212) is the last generation I would even consider owning (being the last before the screens took over the world), and I rather wish I had bought an older one.
I have a crush on the misunderstood GLB, and think is a brilliant car. I wish the current base GLB made 250 horses in 4Matic guise, not 221, and the car would be even better. I think a lot of people are stuck in the “old man car” days of Mercedes and expect luxury cruisers. Once you comprehend that it’s not THAT at all, you can start seeing its virtues.
The new EV versions sound better than the current ones, with RWD and better power distribution between the two ends. I’d HAVE to go high with the current one, but I could go 250+ in the new one, if the numbers worked.
Two friends of mine say “weird” to a lot of things, and I’ve become sensitive to the word, as in their case, it poorly stands in for a range of diverse reactions. It’s been asked to do too much work in this review, and it does not actually tie it together in a meaningful sense (most of the things it describes are not actually weird).
Spot on
The thing that’s most weird about it is it’s relative practicality, which is not something most of today’s Mercedes (on a value for dollar ratio) sold in the U.S. are known for.
I agree. The German HHR SS! It even comes from Mexico 🙂
I love how Mercedes’ answer to complaints that their cars don’t feel “special” anymore is a headliner festooned with three-pointed stars.
Perfect for the kept wife to wear her pyjamas and a ball cap in while running her errands.
This always felt like Mercedes does the mid 00’s Subaru Forester. Quirky, boxy, functional and a hot STi… oops, sorry AMG version. I actually really liked the first gen and looks like this second gen doesn’t lose the weirdness
A real frunk in a multi-energy platform? So it can be done — and quite cleanly and nicely too.
Why is the jump point’s cover off in the under-hood photo?
If you get a chance to experience the Rolls lit headliner do it. They are amazing and have a depth and look that is truly special.
If you ever get offered a car with something similar do not check that box on the option list.
There is one way to do these roof lights and Rolls has it. All others just feel weird and my guess is this one will cause some weird reflections when driving at night.
Full disclosure, I thought the Rolls thing was the stupidest thing ever. Then I got the chance to sit in one and it is one of the most impressive car options I have ever seen.
Ugly, irrelevant, expensive. I’d just get a Genesis.
It looks like the Smart #5 from the side and back.
Hmm…
I can’t get past the ugly mug.
But don’t forget the ugly butt! With completely tacked-on 3 pointed stars that look completely out of place in the taillight heckblend.
One of my favorite cars to see pop up when I order an Uber.
Also- on the new design; welcome back Kia Soul.
Hard for me to imagine the financial sensibility of buying a $50k crossover for running a rideshare operation.
I don’t get it either, but I’ve had it happen multiple times. Most recently it was the EV one, so maybe they got it before the tax credit expires.
We have a Lyft driver who also does Turo, so a ride home in a Mercedes E-class isn’t totally crazy. He also owned mid level BMWs and Audis for the same purposes.
A Soul pulled up at lunch and I totally see that, except the Soul looks better.
I drove a rental first-generation Soul years ago in Toronto, and it was more fun than I expected. Not that I hooned it. Just more pleasant than I expected.
I’ve rented them in years past and they were fun.
I’ve had a couple of Teslas as Lyfts. They’re interesting, but based on those rides, I would never buy one. Because with a mother with Alzheimer’s who is 700 miles away, it just doesn’t work out. With winter approaching, I will burn airline points/miles and fly down and rent a car. Once spring hits, I might start driving back and forth again. I dunno. A two-day 700+ mile drive each way is pretty tiring at my age. I used to be able to do it in one day. But this time of year, and with deteriorating night vision, I just don’t want to.
I get Teslas all the time and I hate riding in them. I wish there were a way to decline all Teslas.
Interesting watching the luxury manufacturers trying to stay relevant in the modern world. Pretty much every middling car can have good mix of performance, efficiency, handling, tech, soft-touch materials, or whatever metric people want (or whatever some focus group thinks they want).
So now we get goofy crap like light up ceilings and absurd amounts of useless screens.
I guess the exterior looks nice enough. Overall the experience… I just feel like there was a time where I would have been jealous of the massive gap between regular cars and luxury cars, but that time seems to be gone. There’s just not much here that’s actually appealing, and some of it (monster screens, stupid VW style window switches) are actively worse than the regular new car experience.
M-B plastering their logo on damn near every surface is just… I know why they’re doing it but it it’s the opposite of classy.
Yes. The window switch strategy is really surprising to me. And would be really annoying to deal with. Not that I lower and raise rear windows often, but it would just feel like a PITA when I wanted to.
This seems like the perfect car to clog up the school pick-up lines with.
Something about the matte black tail end feels like it’s a half-step between OEM and a Brabus body kit. Also gives baby QX80 (non-derogatory)
I pity the third owner when all the screens are dead.
They knew what they were in for. The pity should also be for the first owner who may lose more than 50% of the value in 3 years (If the EQS is any indication)
Please give thoughts and prayers for the first victim, the one holding the hot potato when the warranty runs out.
I actually like the looks of the exterior. And the passenger/cargo capacity seems quite nice. Don’t hate the powertrains either. But it’s MB, so of course there’s got to be something to fuck it up.
Ah, all screen in the front, with no actual controls. There we go, make it just like driving your TikTok box instead of an actual vehicle. Sigh, so close and yet so far.
Of course the entire fucking dashboard is a screen. What a shame. This is actually a pretty enticing little package, just like that last GLB was. These things are basically wagons moonlighting as crossovers and have a ton of interior space and cargo capacity. I’m even going to throw out a controversial take and say I liked the styling of the first gen one and I like the styling of this one, plus the second generation EV tech should make them quite usable.
But you know what I don’t want? The entire goddamn dashboard and roof to be fucking screens. Enough of this shit already. No one wants it and the Tesla bubble already popped. There’s no use in continuing to inject that shit into your veins hoping for one last good high. I get that Ze Germans’ entire business at this point is leasing disposable products that’ll be obsolete in 3 years to the conspicuous consumption crowd, but if they just fucking made a 300 mile range EV with enough room for a small family that you interacted with like a regular car they’d legitimately gain market share.
But Mercedes is a dead brand walking and in typical German fashion they will give you the car that THEY think you should want, not the car you actually want. Anyway I continue to understand why BMW is dominating this market. They also sell tech-overburdened disposable products that’ll be obsolete in 3 years, but at least they still mostly look and act like normal cars.
Most reviews of the i4 and i5 say there’s no learning curve compared to their ICE companion models. If you’ve driven an ICE one you can hop in an EV version and have no issues. Good luck doing that in a car that’s like 40% screen…anyway I assume this was made with the Chinese market in mind and they can’t get to cars that are entirely screens fast enough.
I kinda like the exterior. Quirky and different, but not terribly ugly to my eyes. The interior on the other hand… I don’t know what MB customers are demanding, but apparently it is the TV display section at a Best Buy. I suspect this will sell moderately, doing slightly better in SoCal where a small MB or BMW product is the equivalent to a Honda CRV in the rest of the country.
Kinda silly question: is a moonroof just a sunroof at night?
Different brands have offered different definitions. I know from GM in the early 00s, they said if it opened on top of the roof and looked like a weird mini spoiler on top that it was a sunroof, but if it slid inside of the roof then it was a moonroof. More recently, I have seen non opening ones called moonroofs, but not sure if that’s a widely accepted definition or what the heck is going on with them. Not sure anyone else has any idea either.
Technically a moonroof is glass and a sunroof is metal. At least that is what I was taught many years ago.
This is what I have also heard. A sunroof is metal and opens, a moonroof is transparent and may or may not open.
That seems to be what the collective internet thinks as well. So, my ’71 Peugeot 504’s sliding metal roof was a sunroof, and everything I have owned since then has had a moonroof. I like being able to open it when conditions allow, but it’s also fun to see the rain blowing over the glass. And I like the additional light in the cabin, most of the time, even while closed. Sometimes the solar heating is a bit much, but there’s a little sliding panel that can block that.
None of them have leaked or had the drain lines clog. And they are so much less hassle and more comfortable than a convertible. And likely much safer in a rollover crash, which I’ve never experienced.
I know looks are subjective, but this is by far one of the ugliest designs to come out of Mercedes as of late. The light bars look forced. The interior looks cheap. Who is the intended consumer for this?
There has not been an attractive M-B in over a decade, IMHO.
idk if I agree with that. The facelift w213 in AMG form is a handsome design, and I’m a fan of the current s223 (although the w222 in coupe form will remain an all time classic).
That pinched light bar between the headlights is dumb. Either make it part of the grille, or don’t have it at all. Fix the corporate face, MB.
A lot of truly baffling decisions, eh? MB swears up and down that they are going to bring back physical buttons and then immediately follows up with this mess.