Home » Not Again! Stupid Deer: Cold Start

Not Again! Stupid Deer: Cold Start

Cs Paodeerhit2
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What the hell is the matter with deer? Or, more specifically, what is the matter with deer running in front of my car? What do they stand to gain? Last night, I’m driving home on a dark two-lane highway, when yet another of North Carolina’s seemingly inexhaustible supply of idiotic deer decided to bolt across the road, right in front of my little Pao, like a big bag of tick-studded venison without an ounce of sense under its big dumb antlers. Once again, I saw a flash of Nature’s Dumbest Large Mammal, hit the brakes, but then ended up clipping the jerk’s meaty butt. Ugh. Again!

Luckily, the damage isn’t as bad this time, limited to a smashed headlamp and some damage to the corner of the fiberglass hood and a bit on the fender. I’ve already got a new headlight sourced, and hopefully insurance will come through and I can get the fiberglass work done locally. Ugh, what an ass-pain, though! How are deer like this? Shouldn’t natural selection have weeded out all the ones too dumb to know how to cross a damn road already by now? Who are the does still mating with these morons? It’s not all about antler size, ladies! Stop fucking idiot deer!

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Man, I’m so very cross  by this whole thing, though it’ll likely force my hand to get some of my other cars roadworthy again. Also, anyone want to take bets on how long that exposed halogen bulb will last without its protective lens?

I feel like I should do something to avoid this in the future. Should I put a bull bar on the Pao?

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Cs Pao Bullbar

I mean, it seems crazy, but I’m sick of replacing lights. Maybe I should look into something like that.

Oy.

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EricTheViking
EricTheViking
6 months ago

I am surprised you didn’t replace the headlamps for the ones with proper right-hand rule of road. Perhaps you have been wondering why the approaching drivers angrily flashed at you too often…

Starhawk
Starhawk
6 months ago

It’s a deer. You live in North Carolina. What do you expect, exactly?

More to the point… there are absolutely no natural predators of white-tail deer in this state (I live here, too, about a half-hour’s drive, deer free, from Chapel Hill, in fact)… or, to put it slightly differently, their only natural predators are car-driving humans who are just a tad slow on the brake pedal.

It’s kind of like that famous quote from the movie “Wargames”. The only way to avoid the deer is to not drive. I do that, and I can report that it works pretty dang well.

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
6 months ago

> Shouldn’t natural selection have weeded out all the ones too dumb to know how to cross a damn road already by now?

It’s your job now.

Not to blame the victim, but how does one hit deer so often? I’ve lived in forested and deer-infested areas all my life and never so much as seen one.

Last edited 6 months ago by Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Farty McSprinkles
Farty McSprinkles
6 months ago

I see them all the time. They run out in front of vehicles and get hit regularly. If they are spooked, they will run full speed into the side of a parked vehicle. Here in East Tennessee at this time of year, I typically see at least one a week dead on the side of the road on my way to work.

Old Hippie
Old Hippie
6 months ago

I just don’t know… 50-odd years of driving in suicidal deer country (the deer tried Al-Qaeda-style suicide vests, but, not having fingers, couldn’t get them fastened) and so far, have hit a total of ONE deer–and that one was not only suicidal, but sneaky. It exploded from the bar ditch so fast–like a greyhound out of the gates–I wasn’t sure of what I’d seen. Fortunately, I was driving my Vanagon, and all it did was crack one (newly replaced) front turn signal.

Now I’m driving an old Toyota Corolla. Hitting a deer in this thing could easily be fatal, as that low hood could scoop it right into the windshield. So I did this: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53308266215_703a8d771c_b.jpg

Lights! Lots of big, bright lights (since added fog lights)! The square ones throw about 200 degrees to the side, so anything that isn’t lit is already behind me. The mounting bar for the lights is a minimal bull bar, protecting the radiator–which I can’t get home without–but not full coverage. Headlight nacelles for a TC are cheap, and even fenders aren’t too expensive….

Deer whistles? If deer whistles work, why doesn’t your insurance company offer a discount for using them? Or at least encourage you to do so? Most of the rigs I see with those on them have obvious deer-strike damage–like broken deer whistles.

Besides, my Fuel Shark also provides deer protection.

Moose have been moving into my area the last couple of decades, but I think the Toy will go right under one.

Last edited 6 months ago by Old Hippie
Defenestrator
Defenestrator
6 months ago

The protective lens over the halogen bulb may also be the UV filter, so maybe best to avoid finding out how long it’ll last.

Bill Garcia
Bill Garcia
6 months ago

I see an opportunity to build on your tail light expertise… expand to aux lights and make the pao as bright as the sun so the deer stay away.

My whole plan hinges on deer being scared by light, which I have no clue whether they are or not. At least you can combine my sun-plan with your bull-bar-plan by mounting the lights there rally-style!

05LGT
05LGT
6 months ago

I saw one deer carcass every 50 miles on average driving home from Turkey day/harvest festival.

Donald Fletcher
Donald Fletcher
6 months ago

One of these was spotted in DC today: https://www.popville.com/2023/11/sweet-city-ride-878/.

Cal67
Cal67
6 months ago

“Nature’s Dumbest Large Mammal”
Jason, time to come north and we’ll introduce you to moose. Vehicles don’t intimidate or scare them at all.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/moose-struck-by-4-vehicles-along-hwy-416-in-north-grenville-1.7012818

05LGT
05LGT
6 months ago
Reply to  Cal67

Moose find hatchbacks *exciting*.

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