If you woke up from a coma and had no idea what time of year it was, you could probably tell just from what colors the decorations in the hospital were. Red and green? It’s Christmas. Bunch of pastels? Easter. Red, white, and blue? Fourth of July. And of course, if everything is black and orange, it must be Halloween. So it only seems fitting that we look at some orange cars this week, and the two that caught my eye were these two old four-wheel drives.
Yesterday we looked at two spooky white Mustangs with blood-red upholstery. Neither one was the engine or transmission you would want, but they both ran and drove, so they would at least get you around reliably. At least, until you’re in a movie and someone is chasing you and you have to get away, at which point even a brand-new car will fail to start. Most of you picked the newer and better-looking Fox-body Mustang, despite its lackluster four-cylinder engine and automatic transmission.
Ordinarily, I’d take a Fox over a Mustang II, but between these two specific cars, I think the II is where it’s at. Let’s face it; I’m never going to do an engine swap, as much as I like to think about it, and the Mustang II is the more interesting car as it sits. And as much as I dislike Landau tops, at least that one matches the paint.
Orange seems like a strange color to associate with a spooky holiday. It’s bright and cheerful, not gloomy or scary. But once Jack-O’-Lanterns started being made from pumpkins instead of turnips, the color was forever associated with Halloween. Which is just as well; nobody is going to sit in a vegetable garden and await the arrival of the Great Turnip.
(A quick aside: I once dressed as Linus for Halloween and spent the night handing out pamphlets preaching the “Good News” about the Great Pumpkin. Got a lot of laughs, but no converts.)
All right, enough off-topic waffle. Let’s check out some four-by-fours. October is, after all, truck month.
1961 Jeep CJ-5 – $8,000
Engine/drivetrain: 134 cubic inch F-head inline 4, three-speed manual, 4WD
Location: Pauma Valley, CA
Odometer reading: 35,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
First – and this is vitally important – nobody tell David about this Jeep, or the fact that it’s just a couple hours south of him. I have never met his blushing bride, but I do not want to end up on her bad side from three thousand miles away. He cannot know that such a nice, good-running Jeep is up for sale so close by. And it really is nice; the seller restored it to be a good driver, not a showpiece, but it looks great in the photos.
This is an old CJ-5, back when Jeeps were still made by Willys. It features its original “Hurricane” F-head four-cylinder engine and Borg-Warner T90 three-speed transmission. It probably tops out at about fifty miles an hour, but it’ll go anywhere you point it off-road. The engine, transmission, and transfer case were all rebuilt as part of the restoration, and all work as they should.
Inside, it’s a good old bare-bones Jeep, with absolutely nothing that isn’t strictly necessary. The front seats look like the original style, and it has a rear seat that looks like it came from a later 1970s or ’80s Jeep. Be warned: If safety is your primary concern, this is not the vehicle for you. Not only are there no seatbelts nor a roll bar, but the gas tank is right under the driver’s seat.
The flat-orange paint outside has a rough texture to it; I suspect it’s Rhino-Liner or something similar. The seller made no effort to fix any dents or wrinkles in the bodywork before paint, but hopefully they repaired any rust that was there. This Jeep was built to drive, not to sit around at car shows, but you still want it to hold together and look good.
1980 Chevrolet K5 Blazer – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Duncanville, TX
Odometer reading: unknown
Operational status: Runs and drives
The original Chevy Blazer was the first of what would come to be the standard full-size SUV template: it’s just a K10 pickup truck, shortened by about a foot, with the cab and bed as one piece and no wall between them. The top is removable; in the early days, the entire top came off, but starting in 1976, the roof above the front seats became fixed, and only the rear section was removable. It’s common to see these Blazers with the top off in nice weather; I knew someone who removed the top from theirs in May and refused to put it back on until November.
The classic drivetrain for a K5 Blazer is what this one has: a 350 V8 and a Turbo 350 automatic. Six-cylinder engines and manual transmissions were both available, but rare. The engine and transmission in this one have both been rebuilt, the transmission only eight hundred miles ago. It has a bunch of other recent mechanical work done, and though the seller doesn’t explicitly say that it runs and drives, I see no reason why it shouldn’t. And the photos have been taken in a bunch of different places. I doubt they towed it all over town just for photos.
We don’t get any good, clear images of the interior, but what I can see doesn’t look too promising. A lot of these Blazers end up trashed inside, so it’s not too surprising, but it is disappointing. The seller spent a lot of money cramming a big stereo into it, but didn’t take the time to tidy up any of the wiring for it. And you just know those seats are a nightmare of cracked vinyl and leaking padding underneath those covers.
I don’t know if this truck was originally orange or not, but I think so. Orange was available, and the door sills and radiator support seem to match the outside. The paint is toast, and one fender needs to be replaced; you can see it in some photos but not others. Also, I just noticed that someone has added “truck nuts” to it, actual nuts hanging on a chain, which is less disturbing than those fake-scrotum ones, but still ridiculous.
Off-roading is hard on vehicles; you don’t really want something that’s too pretty. Sure, if you start out with something good-looking, you should do what you can to protect it, but I think it’s better to just start out with something a little bit beat-up already. These would do nicely. Which one appeals to you?
Will skip both, and get a nice Squarebody instead.
I physically recoiled from every photo of that Blazer.
Even the windshield is busted… Honestly, the only thing of value in that Blazer is the engine and maaaaybe the frame.
When you look up “Fright Pig” in the urban dictionary, there’s a picture of that Blazer. Oink!
The Jeep on the other hand is a cute little bugger owned by someone who has made good choices.
All other things being equal, I’d prefer the Blazer.
But things are very much not equal. That Blazer needs more than the $3k price difference to make it liveable inside. It grody to the max. (Showing my age here.)
But also, that flag and nuts are barely a degree away from the Confederate Battle Flag and actual Truk Nutz. Which means the chance the owner is selling so he can join ICE and pop a cap in Sancho’s punk-ass is nowhere near zero. And who wants that bad juju?
I have no use case for that Jeep. It’d be fun to take out for ice cream and down a few state forest trails, and then I’d find it a new home.
A K5 Blazer would be just weatherproof enough, safe enough, and highway-capable, and the orange suits it.
I voted for the Jeep.