Jaguar has gone through a total rebranding, and people cannot stop talking about it. This rebrand initially sent some folks into a frenzy, which led to Jaguar being the recipient of some honestly toxic complaints. Other folks, like legendary car designer Frank Stephensen, focused on the symbol of Jag’s future, the Jaguar Type 00 prototype. But, oof, poor Jag cannot catch a break.
Our fresh face in the Autopiansphere, Brian Silvestro, wrote about Stephensen’s scathing take on the Type 00’s design. Our readers brought the jokes and their own takes. Brent Ozar:
Sounds like he scored it an 00 out of 10.
DialMforMiata:
“The car severely misses the Jaguar villainy”
I strongly disagree, but only in the sense that it looks like a cartoon baddie’s car.
Zeppelopod responded:
“Nyeh heh heh, now all shall suffer the chalky taste of Pepto Bismol!”
ExAutoJourno:
If I paint my window air conditioner a weird metallic purple-ish color, I won’t need this Jag. I’ll have one in my bedroom.
It’s hard to believe a company that built the gorgeous Mark II and XJ sedans — never mind the E-Type — could have strayed so far from their design heritage.
Jason Torchinsky gave the Bishop the idea to recreate the Chrysler TC by Maserati, but with the hilarious exception that it had to be based on the only car Chrysler has for sale right now, the Pacifica. The result? It’s definitely one of the cars of all time. Paul E:
That, sir, is a sore for sighted eyes. Walter P. Chrysler would be spinning in his grave. Fine work!
Help, I can’t stop laughing at “a sore for sighted eyes,” it’s just too good!
3WiperB:
Will the opera windows still focus the light to catch portions of the interior on fire?
Automakers often try their best to make journalists comfortable on press trips. If you go on a trip at high altitude, this might mean getting cans of oxygen to feed from, as was the case in Sam Abuelsamid’s first drive of the Subaru Solterra. V10omous:
Subaru put a few cans of oxygen in each car
What!!??
I can’t be the only one who immediately thought of President Skroob huffing Perri Air at his desk.
Yes! You can buy bottles of oxygen to give yourself an oxygen boost while working out or while you’re at altitude. The wild thing is that these metal cans, which look like water bottles, weigh basically nothing. But that makes sense given the weight of oxygen and all that. The next time you’re in a pharmacy, be sure to pick a bottle up! It’ll feel so weird.
Have a great evening, everyone.
That’s ok, I just eat Airheads candy…I mean, you are what you eat! Ha ha
How do you know when your canned air is empty?
And what’s in it then?
No one has talked about Jaguar in years. The fact that they got so much press in such a short about of time was exactly what the brand needed – at least according to marketing-types. Having some extremely out-there concepts helped as well. But it should be following up those outlandish concept cars with some actually GOOD LOOKING production models. Not sure if it really will be doing that though.
At the end of the day, they aren’t looking for mass-market acceptance. They aren’t trying to sell 500,000 of something. If the god awful BMW 7-series, once of the most vile designs in decades, can sell 10,000 units in a year, then this far less abrasive Jag Type 00 should sell at least as good as that.
I cant wait to get one for 5,800 bucks on craigslist in 2040 – everyone will tell me, Dude dont buy that one, the first year ones were terrible.. there’s no parts.. But I will get it none the less and it will bankrupt me just like I am hoping it will.
Just get an XJ-S. At least you can look good while waiting for the tow truck.
Db7 nicest xjs. Looks good and v12 more complicated than a stone axe.
Years back, I had a particularly deluded product manager who loved to say things like “If we can only capture 0.5% of the market, then we’ll be making millions!” And would then proceed to make outlandish forecasts that we missed by orders of magnitude.
While it may seem otherwise, people with lots of money are usually fairly intelligent, and capturing the market currently occupied by 7-series / Mercedes S-class / Audi A8 will require finding something that’ll pull that market segment towards you. All of the above have brand equity and the same sorta step-up model you see, for example, Toyota using (IE; buy a Corolla when you’re a cheap college student, buy a Camry when you’re a professional 3 years outta school, buy a Lexus when you’ve got it made; for the Bimmer, get a 3-series as a young professional, then get either an M or a 7 when you have the money). Jaguar doesn’t have any kind of pipeline or brand equity at the moment, which means they need to convince dealers to carry… whatever it is they end up manufacturing, *and* convince people to buy it. Even in my relatively sparse state, I’ve got two BMW dealers nearby, a network of decent mechanics, and while the car itself is a little weird (2015 7 diesel), it’s all fairly known-quantity stuff. Who’s gonna take a flyer on a Jaguar with almost no support, likely no easy way to test drive one, and no history to form a decision?
Point being, sheer ugliness or beauty or vibes doesn’t sell cars; Jaguar has to figure out a way to get people to want to go test drive them, as opposed to discussing how ugly they are on social media. I’m sure somewhere in the bowels of Jaguar some brand manager is super enthusiastic about “engagement” and “mentions,” but those are not going to translate into car sales without giving consumers a viable reason to go look at said cars.
I have never met a competent product manager. They all exist in a fairy world filled with hopes and dreams and nothing of substance.
As someone living at under 700 ft of elevation, when I flew to Denver, and drove to rocky mountain national park, then proceeded to hike to 10,000 feet, that canned oxygen really does help. Hiking at over 9000 ft with a small day pack was harder than a full weekend’s pack would usually be at home.
The first time I went to CO was for a work trip. The store I was working at was at 8500ft in Woodland Park. I thought I was going to die just walking from one side of the place to the other, having spent my whole life within about 100ft of sea level, and not exactly being the outdoorsy athletic type.
Went to Sedona, Arizona when visiting my father when I was 20. Been a sea level person for 10 years before that, the highest altitude I’ve lived at was Atlanta, and that was for 2 years. We did some climbing of a rock formation nearby that was even higher than the 5k Sedona is, and after about 20 seconds of climbing I was like – WHERE’S THE AIR AT?
I still have a headache for a few days even in Denver. Above that is just awful! Sedona is about 1000′ lower, but I bet those mountains get you up high fast if you go hiking there. So beautiful!
Try it with Thalassemia or Thalassemia minor. You have more red blood cells, but they’re smaller, which makes you practically immune to malaria (yay?), but your blood’s capacity to transmit oxygen is reduced. Denver makes me dizzy.
I remember my second trip to the US, which we spent where the continent is thickest, in Colorado and thereabouts. Back home, at about 1,300 ft, taking the stairs to the 9th floor was child’s play for a while.
Thanks Mercedes! Also welcome to Brian, that was quite a first day!
Zero surprise that those bottles of oxygen come in scented varieties.
Apparently you can get a 12-pack for a mere $179.64.
From the people who brought us Patriot Power Solar Generators!
(Made in China)
Yeah, but I can get scented oxygen now!
I don’t see any solar generators that smell like hazelnut.
Well, I heard that Pumpkin Spice Latte season begins tomorrow; can’t wait for the PSL-scented oxygen!
I’m still waiting for my Pumpkin Spice Charmin.
At least it makes more sense than hydrogenated water (or “watered-down water”, as I like to call it).
I prefer battery acid scented (after chainsawing)…or burnt differential fluid…eh, maybe shower spaghetti scented would be better!