“Dammit, that’s frickin’ unfortunate,” I muttered to myself after I spotted a “heartbreaker” among the search results I was scanning in my Evil Wrenching Lair, conveniently located beneath the only volcano in Wilmington, NC. A heartbreaker does not call to mind Tom Petty’s boys, but rather the type of car that pulls at your heartstrings with a mix of yearning, desire, empathy, and pity. The kind of thing that would provoke my Uncle John to offer a wary “that ain’t right!” (his signature line since 1959).
Hello and welcome back to another SWG article, my Autopian friends! This one is going to be a little shorter and less wrench-heavy compared to my previous wicked-long, mega-adventure wrench-a-thons. It has been way too long since my last check-in, and with 16 cars currently awaiting repair, I barely have time to breathe over here lately – so let’s mix it up a bit and keep it light and fun this time!
So anyway, there it was, staring back at me from Facebook Marketplace: an ’09 Genesis in Black Noir Pearl for only $900! 2009 was the first year for the luxury sedan, and it looked stunning in the ad’s photos, practically jumping off the screen. This is one of the models I’d low-key had my eye on for years, since it looks incredible and is reaching used-market pricing levels of depreciation that make it a massive value for the money.
Top-end Executive sedans from Germany will bankrupt you with parts/diagnostics costs and wicked over-complexity. The Japanese offerings hold their value and always have a big audience of buyers as they are genuinely desirable cars for the most part. Outside of a few late-model Cadillacs, there aren’t many American offerings in this space, and those Cadillacs are littered throughout Facebook Marketplace – usually with timing chain tensioner issues, a truly unfortunate flaw (here’s looking at you, High-Feature 3.6 V6).
Meanwhile, the South Korean newcomer seems to bring some serious heat to this space with a killer combo of low price, limited brand provenance (it’s new), decent reliability, shared drivetrains with lesser Hyundais and KIAs (Borrego, Genesis Coupe), and high content.
A Closer Look (Minus Seth Meyers)
I immediately sent the ad to the Autopian Team in our Slack chat. Believe me when I say that I am personally convinced Thomas Hundal may be one of the most talented knowers-of-cars, ever, hands down. The guy took one cursory glance and responded within 30 seconds that the 2009 3.8 Genesis Sedan has steel springs and my example was sitting too low, so there is a suspension concern. Wow! I’m always impressed with the library of knowledge he brings to the table.
After speaking with the seller via Facebook Messenger, he informed me that he runs a scrap yard and was selling this car without a key. Ouch, it’ll cost a few extra hundo to have a mobile locksmith download the security and programming data from Hyundai and cut a key/buy a fob. Dammit.
He also stated that the widow of the deceased owner decided to call this Seller-Scrapper to tow away this Genesis to be parted out and crushed after its previous owner passed away, and the car was left at an oceanfront beach house in Holden Beach, NC for years. That means the car was sitting in salt spray from the Atlantic, which might also explain why the car is sitting so low. Had all that salt exposure rusted the springs into a saggy state?
The seller also mentioned not having a key meant he was unsure if the car runs. Not knowing if the car actually operates is a big deal for me. So OK, yeah, it doesn’t sound that great. Nothing good in life comes easily, though.
So, Should I?
If there’s one thing that incites all overly-optimistic Autopians, it’s a badass car for a cheap price, and I believe that is what we have here! We’re talking about a sleek, quasi-generic 5 Series copy with a 290hp V6, rear-wheel drive, 264Ft/lb of torque and an Aisin B600 6-speed transmission for under $1000! Add $200-$300 for a key, another $300 for the title, and this car could be mine for $1500, which is very enticing.
I just checked the inventory at the local Pick n Pull and discovered a 2010 V8 Genesis just hit the yard! That means cheap, attainable, non-sea-salted parts are a few miles from my house and can be mine after a short visit on a Saturday afternoon. This is huge, as the power of wrenching is one of the greatest forces in all of Greater Autiopia.
Do I need another car? Hell no. Is this potentially a great buy if the cards all fall in my favor? Hell yes. I’m genuinely going to read and respond to each comment below if you feel that you can add some insight, direction, or humor to help out in this situation. Let me know your thoughts, my Autopian friends!
Fortune favors the brave, right?
All photos by Stephen Walter Gossin
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- What I Learned Restoring A $600 Dodge Ram With A Burned Up Transmission And Ruined Interior
- How I Bought A Broken Version Of My Dream Car For $300, Then Nursed It Back To Glory And Let It Free
- Proof That A $700 Car Saved From The Junkyard Can Make Someone As Happy As A New Lambo Can
- How I Saved My Buddys’ SUV After It Died At The Most Embarrassing Possible Time
- ShitBox Showdown: The British Are Back In The Cape Fear
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- Even Cheap Cars Can Be Expensive: A Hard Lesson I Learned About The Repair-Parts Minefield
- I Spent $1300 On A Nissan That Lasted 3 City Blocks And 2.5 Minutes
- Rescuing A 75-Year-Old Car From An Older Car Enthusiast Reminded Me How Important Every Minute We Get Doing This Truly Is
At least try to talk them down to $400. That’s a LOT of rust.
Do it. It’ll be a nice break from the domestic things you wrench on. <3
“Ouch, it’ll cost a few extra hundo to have a mobile locksmith download the security and programming data from Hyundai and cut a key/buy a fob. Dammit“
Aren’t there YouTube videos with instructions for driving these with nothing more than a usb cable?
Run, run away as fast as you can. Like others have said, it looks more like flood damage than sea spray.