Home » So That’s Why The Autopian Cab Ate A Bunch Of Wood: COTD

So That’s Why The Autopian Cab Ate A Bunch Of Wood: COTD

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Somehow, all of the Autopian company cars live quite unfortunate lives. Ski-Klasse was beaten to a pulp off-road, the Pontiac Aztek wants to self-drive itself off of a mountain, and now we have this Nissan NV200 former NYC taxi and it’s already having a bad time.

We bought the cabbie for just $800 from Copart, and it’s been a hilarious disaster ever since. The thing didn’t even run at first, and now, it got to eat a trunk-load of tree after some accidental mishandling by the guys delivering the van to Jason’s place. I have a feeling that our new Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet is trembling in fear right now. Steve Wilson points out the goof here:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

You called for a tow truck but they sent a wrecker.

Hoonicus:

You can’t hit every F’ing branch of the bad decisions tree without first climbing it.

Sid Bridge:

Behold, an adorable little NY Taxi, after 340,000 miles of New York abuse including being bumped by cars, thwacked by angry umbrella-toting stock brokers with tophats and arrow collars, and spending its nights socked in a lot with a bunch of other abused cabs listening to horror stories from one of the three remaining grizzly old Crown Vics, finally gets out of New York to experience a little suburban serenity. And… oh look! It’s a tree! It’s first tree! Let’s go say hi to my first tree! (WHACK)

A. Barth:

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Is the tree all right??

shitbox hero

“Unfortunately, Foreigner were unable to recapture the magic of their previous hit.”

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Slate Auto

The biggest news we’ve seen in a while is the launch of the Slate Auto truck. It’s an extremely barebones and basic regular cab truck with steel wheels and no paint. Basically everything is an option from a radio to door pockets. V10omous fires off a hot, but hilarious take:

This thing is designed to appeal to commenters here, which means it has about a 0.0001% chance of being an actual success.

Hey now! Now, if only Slate Auto could have figured out how to sell a brand-new used car. It would have the enthusiast market locked down tight. Have a great weekend, everyone!

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Idle Sentiment
Idle Sentiment
1 month ago

[comment deleted by admin]

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
1 month ago

I laughed, but V10 is on point.
I have serious nostalgia for my crappy basic cars of decades past, however, age brings insistence on comfort

I’ve been burned before but am at heart an optimist: I’ll buy basic if cheap enough.
-likely the second year, though, as I can’t shake memories of 2 separate 79 fox bodies

Last edited 1 month ago by TOSSABL
Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
1 month ago

That picture of the Slate reminds me of my RC truck. Same black roof protector, same wild graphics and same shape. It’s even electric!

FndrStrat06
FndrStrat06
1 month ago

The Slate is a really cool idea. I’m so tempted to put a deposit down.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
1 month ago

It’s whimsical! Hope it becomes reality!

Ignatius J. Reilly
Ignatius J. Reilly
1 month ago

It is the equivalent of adopting a very elderly dog and then running over it in the animal shelter’s parking lot.

CSRoad
CSRoad
1 month ago

It was just getting tied up in Torch’s driveway anyway.

Would you trust them to walk your dog around the block?

Zeppelopod
Zeppelopod
1 month ago
Reply to  CSRoad

Which membership level gets you tied up in Torch’s driveway? A variant of “Leather,” perhaps?

SarlaccRoadster
SarlaccRoadster
1 month ago
Reply to  Zeppelopod

After you get tied down, ‘Leather’ is your first meal

Last edited 1 month ago by SarlaccRoadster
CSRoad
CSRoad
1 month ago

The lyrics have changed, however the game remains.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qQ0MG9OPzA

Chris D
Chris D
1 month ago

That Slate truck illustration is the special and unique Boy George Edition.

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
1 month ago
Reply to  Chris D

“You come and go
You come and gooooo….”

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
1 month ago

“Now, if only Slate Auto could have figured out how to sell a brand-new used car.”

I mean

https://youtu.be/P8UtRNCztVI?si=XnhfWbLo_uDE0zwj

Last edited 1 month ago by Mechjaz
Hoonicus
Hoonicus
1 month ago

I don’t know man…the main characters are cool and all…It’s like if you’re experiencing excessive happiness, go wallow in “The Endless Bummer”.
One rotten tomato

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